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Should I message my exfriend or no? (Page 2)

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cool_rashi

Goldie

cool_rashi

Joined: 24 March 2007

Posts: 1766

Posted: 21 February 2014 at 11:19pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by No2Pencil

Originally posted by cool_rashi

[
LOL yeah I moved on too. I made new friends. It is just that I wanna still be friends with her so that I could post pictures online of us without being questioned or just get a closure. You know what I mean?I am not trying to become her best friend again. I just wanna be on good terms. 

She didn't expose any secrets, she just made stupid jokes about me, stuff like how I let my ego come in between us and stuff like that. Basically, she blamed me for all of this and it was not fair because both of us were at fault. 

see..info u have given, seems like u have been trying to reach out to her but she is not responding to you..Confused .. BUT if you are so INTO Clearing it..give it a last shot n promise yourself u won't do it again..so , either u go talk face to face or message her and clear this mess .. but still if she doesn't want to do den.. accept the fact dat you can't control ppl, their minds , ways and also u can't make everyone happy.. LOL  ..best of luck but hey if my best friend would have made joke about me,Just cuz we had MU.. i swear would be highly pissed.. 

I tried to reach her once and she was really mad at that point. I messaged her saying whats up and she didn't carry out the conversation so I didn't bother to msg her again until Christmas. But majority of the people didn't get my message so I don't know if it was a network problem or if she ignored that messaged. 

We both did not try to reach each other for a while. I know that she cried after this whole thing. Tbh, I have a guilt. It wasn't entirely my fault but I don't wanna carry this guilt with me. 

I totally agree with you. If i give one more shot, I would NOT give it another after. Yeah I was highly pissed and that is why I didn't bother to reach out. But I feel like I should be the mature one, either msg and get a closure or just end it and say bye.

My mutual friends tell me not to message her. The only reason I am thinking about it because I don't want to blame myself in future or carry the guilt. 

However, I know I would regret messaging her and if she doesn't reply. Like, i would hate myself for messaging her in that case. So, I don't know what to do. 

If you were in this situation, would you take the last shot? And if you did, what would you say?

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Hearts.Flowers

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cool_rashi

Goldie

cool_rashi

Joined: 24 March 2007

Posts: 1766

Posted: 21 February 2014 at 11:20pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Hearts.Flowers

I don't think you should message her. It takes two to tango. So she shouldn't have blamed you for everything.

Yes, thats one of my reasons for not wanting to message her. She should've been mature about this but instead she acted immature. 

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Hearts.Flowers

No2Pencil

IF-Dazzler

No2Pencil

Joined: 29 July 2013

Posts: 4109

Posted: 21 February 2014 at 11:23pm | IP Logged
^ if its about clearing ur guilt ..do it.. BUT only 1 last time ..not anymore .. you tried ur best..its her loss if she won't reciprocate. 
edit: don't regret anything..at least you will be guilt free..Big smile


Edited by No2Pencil - 21 February 2014 at 11:23pm

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Hearts.Flowers

cool_rashi

Goldie

cool_rashi

Joined: 24 March 2007

Posts: 1766

Posted: 21 February 2014 at 11:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by No2Pencil

^ if its about clearing ur guilt ..do it.. BUT only 1 last time ..not anymore .. you tried ur best..its her loss if she won't reciprocate. 
edit: don't regret anything..at least you will be guilt free..Big smile

Yes, majority of it is because of guilt. 

In this case, if you were going to message, what would you say? I want to have a normal conversation. And should I message her on Facebook instead of her number, in case her number changed?

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Hearts.Flowers

cool_rashi

Goldie

cool_rashi

Joined: 24 March 2007

Posts: 1766

Posted: 21 February 2014 at 11:27pm | IP Logged
 

Edited by cool_rashi - 09 March 2014 at 10:27pm

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Hearts.Flowers

BabajiKaThullu

IF-Addictz

BabajiKaThullu

Joined: 26 February 2010

Posts: 54180

Posted: 22 February 2014 at 1:44am | IP Logged
Simply send her to Hell.. Wink

D3viL

Senior Member

D3viL

Joined: 29 November 2013

Posts: 918

Posted: 22 February 2014 at 7:23am | IP Logged
friends don't keep score, and if you do make contact and she rejects you that is better than living your life wondering. You might regret later giving too much weight to the fact that when she was upset she bitched about you and not enough to the fact that she was deeply upset when you weren't with her. Obviously these contrast in her behaviour leads you to believe whatever her reaction was, it was because she missed you
It might be that her ignoring you now if you make contact with her that might give you that closure and you can take the good and know that this is where the friendship ends. It could also be that you can be "hi, how are you?" kinda mates and not necessarily be 3am mates anymore.. and that is fine too. 

but as I said before, in my opinion mates don't keep scores, one day you can pull her close and the other day she can pull you close.. thats no big deal at all. we are all human and we all make mistakes.. learning to control yourself and not spill beans sometimes takes more practise for some people then it does for others.

Friends when you are at uni can easily stay with you but its those amazing friendships when you were kids that I tend to wonder about anyway.. so I wouldn't let go of a contact now if I had a few.. and the way you described your friendship ..seems like it is worth it. If you can fondly look back at it now.. you will be more in love with it later.. and thaaat might hurt more if you havent properly closed the door.

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hotm3ssNo2PencilHearts.Flowers

No2Pencil

IF-Dazzler

No2Pencil

Joined: 29 July 2013

Posts: 4109

Posted: 22 February 2014 at 12:00pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by D3viL

friends don't keep score, and if you do make contact and she rejects you that is better than living your life wondering. You might regret later giving too much weight to the fact that when she was upset she bitched about you and not enough to the fact that she was deeply upset when you weren't with her. Obviously these contrast in her behaviour leads you to believe whatever her reaction was, it was because she missed you
It might be that her ignoring you now if you make contact with her that might give you that closure and you can take the good and know that this is where the friendship ends. It could also be that you can be "hi, how are you?" kinda mates and not necessarily be 3am mates anymore.. and that is fine too. 

but as I said before, in my opinion mates don't keep scores, one day you can pull her close and the other day she can pull you close.. thats no big deal at all. we are all human and we all make mistakes.. learning to control yourself and not spill beans sometimes takes more practise for some people then it does for others.

Friends when you are at uni can easily stay with you but its those amazing friendships when you were kids that I tend to wonder about anyway.. so I wouldn't let go of a contact now if I had a few.. and the way you described your friendship ..seems like it is worth it. If you can fondly look back at it now.. you will be more in love with it later.. and thaaat might hurt more if you havent properly closed the door.

i get jealous when u make more sense than me ... LOL No, but i agree .. she should indeed make a contact ... but if her frnd is not responding than of course .. she do have to move forward without her.  

@TM-- man, u can send msg to her both on FB or Phn ..dis time u don't wanna get double minded whether dat msg reached her not.. N tbh i really donno what u shd write.. Confused  ..you know it best ,n how to approach her.. :) 

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D3viL

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