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Our Education Our Choice or Parents

Culture Senior Member

Joined: 18 January 2005
Posts: 914

Posted: 01 June 2005 at 12:27am | IP Logged

Hi everyone the topic decided for this week's discussion is -

Should we study something our parents/family don't really want us to study?

These days with such a broad spectrum of courses offered catering to every possible field of knowledge and creativity, is it right to study something our parents don't really want us to study?? Is it going against our parents? Not trusting their judgment or hurting them? In turn curbing our desires and aspirations?

Well I say one should be given the opportunity to express their capability in the field of their choice.  Stifling dreams will only lead to discontent both within the child and against their parents. 

We will do the best in something that we hold close. For example Pooja, she is a typical example of a girl who comes from a very conservative background with even humbler status and yet she dreams to make it big in a field which not only is related to the glamour world, and hence difficult for her parents to think of as respectable, but also is stereotypically considered to be a mans job.  She has to fight her way both at home to convince her parents as well as to get confidence of the industry insiders. …… Yet she does it. 

Pooja is an ideal for someone who decides to do something and against all possible odds does it.  Moreover, gone are the days when vocational fields were not given equal importance as regular courses.  The viewpoint of people is changing, what needs to be understood by our parents is that children need to be understood and given their space and opportunity, starting at home, to understand themselves and show their expertise in what they like the best.  The finer decision between what is creative and what crosses lines is to be understood clearly though.

In the end our parents want what is best for us, we should just take time to make them realize and explain to them.  Im sure they wouldn't be that difficult to convince if employ the right method.  

That was what I thought…. What do you guys have to say about this? ……..

Edited by Ms. Bholi Bhali - 02 June 2005 at 7:53am

dipsy Groupbie

Joined: 27 April 2005
Posts: 129

Posted: 02 June 2005 at 4:24am | IP Logged



This topic is very close to my heart as I have 2 young children of my own.

My thoughts on it are simple .... There is no joy in anyone not following their own desires and aspirations as it can only lead to resentment and frustration in the long run.

In an ideal world parents should always be supportive of their children but as we all know this is not always the case. This should however not deter a child from following their own chosen path in life .

Sometimes fighting (not in the violent sense) for what you want will help an individual become more focussed in their goal and thus he/she will have a better chance of success.

In this day and age parents should be guiding their children not imposing upon them.

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cutereems IF-Dazzler

Joined: 19 October 2004
Posts: 4891

Posted: 02 June 2005 at 12:34pm | IP Logged

Very good topic Culture!

Should we study something our parents/family don't really want us to study?

If we are interested in other fields which our parents dont want to then we must try to convince them that our future lies in that particular field. Some childrens will be there who purposely want to show their parents that they can do what they dont want to whether they are interested or not. If we are not interested then why do that..only to show ur parents down? For example u take any Ektaa shows..there are some spoilt childrens like Kali, Ansh..they purposely go against their parents. Is this goal of our life?

Everyone is interested in different fields. No one can compel anyone to do of their own choice. Its not point that we must not study what our parents suggest. Parents do suggest choose their path in life as they are path leaders. If childrens are interested then they can surely opt for what their parents suggest. But if child is not interest in what parents choose for him/her then there is no point in studying or doing that. I agree that some childrens do that for keeping their parents heart. Is that right?

We must try to convince our parents. Culture as u said Pooja did fight and finally coninced her parents hence she got admission in St.Martins. Later His Dad feels that he did better thing by allowing to study what she wants. If she had listened to her dad would the situation have been same??

For example u take me.... I was least interested in Dental science. My parents were forcing me to take Dental bcoz they wanted their daughter to be doctor. But whats point in studying without whole hearted? I made a decision that I will do engineering whatever may happen. Finally my parents agreed me to do so.

I am not telling that we must go against our parents. They do everything for our good sake. But we cant kill our interests. I believe in keeping our interests without breaking our parents heart.

Parents must also not compel too much on childrens bcoz sometimes they may get frustrated n then lead to wrong way!

Edited by cutereems - 02 June 2005 at 1:43pm
Ms. Bholi Bhali IF-Sizzlerz
Ms. Bholi Bhali
Ms. Bholi Bhali

Joined: 10 November 2004
Posts: 10512

Posted: 02 June 2005 at 2:25pm | IP Logged

yup I agree, that everyone should choose the feild they want to go in. My Class fellow in high skool, always wanted to go in Computer Science. However, her parents forced her to go in Medical Science. and she listened to them like a achi beti, She is now studying in Medicne but her heart and soul is with computers. She is just doing it to make her parents happy.

but I personally think, Parents should also understand what their childern want. it is not written anywhere that what you have studied, your childern should study the same. if u r a doctor and u have 5 kids, all of them follow your foot steps.

by doing that they are increasing the distance of them and their childern.

Pooja wanted to be director, but u noticed that ven she didn't told her parents about her addmission, she was far away from her parents. not phically but mentally. she used to avoid talking to them and all that. and ven they come to know about it, and her father understood everything they were close. and their bond of father daughter grew even more.

ThE_kHan07 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 09 January 2005
Posts: 5769

Posted: 02 June 2005 at 2:27pm | IP Logged

Interesting topic....

Shoud I study what my parents wants me to study?? Well..I kinda say "NO" to that because its ur future so study the topic what u think suits u or u r comfortable studying!! My parents wants me to either focus on Medical career or Engeenering...I dont get them at all....They are HARD and as for doctor...I am NOT gonna be that cuz I dont feel comfortable working in a hospital or clinic...

I wanna be an astronomer or MY DREAM CAREER aka DIRECTOR OF FILMS!!Big smile My parents were first excited about my Astronomy career but now..lord knows why they want me to ignore it!Confused and they dont know about my director career...I will probably get KICKED outta the house!!LOLLOLLOL But our parents wants wat best for us but really doest work out!Cry

desi gurl IF-Dazzler
desi gurl
desi gurl

Joined: 14 February 2005
Posts: 3404

Posted: 03 June 2005 at 7:25pm | IP Logged

  I honestly have mixed opinions about this. If we want to be what our parents want us to be, then that is really easy, but on the other hand, if we don't, then that's not exactly right.

  It makes us feel like we are going against our parents. It is the upbringing and the culture that us desi people have. We believe that the parents who have brought us up and have one dream, which only we can fulfill, have the right to chose our career path.

  On the other hand, we should do something that interests us. If we don't, we will be stuck with something that we do not want for the rest of our lives.

  I belive that we should try to make our parents understand our position first. And then we should try to convince them a lot. If they still do not understand, then there has to be a definate reason, and we should just obey.

  In Pooja's case, it was different. She wanted to brake free of the society and its rules. She wanted to insure her future and do something with her life.

  I hope all I wrote didn't sound weird. I have based certain parts on the way that I know my parents.

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