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ArHi OS: Hot and Steamy...*Banner Updated*

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Rasgulla_sp

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Posted: 10 January 2014 at 10:36am | IP Logged

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vandana.sagar

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vandana.sagar

Joined: 20 May 2012

Posts: 29602

Posted: 10 January 2014 at 10:37am | IP Logged
                   Res

Reminds me of something ! Yaad aaya? 

Haaw...haaw...gunpoint and me ? 

I loved it ...loved it...it was hilarious...told you your brand of humour is unique and original...

I loved the concept and the treatment ..it kept me so engrossed ( even while Mem1) kept distracting me...Wink...
I loved their conversation the dialogues were written so well... and their waist holding, pulling, pushing staring at the shoes, caressing and blushing, getting angry and smirking and teasing the way all that came out in their dialogues was a great touch and I loved the dialogues, they were witty, clever, flirty and suited them totally I am totally confident that you can write anything...I am convinced of your brilliance...

The diapers and the peeing turning in to a discussion on his well endowed part of his anatomy...ha ha..him enjoying her getting all riled up and the way she blushes and the ' kya farak padtha hai' ...loved it all...not allowing her to go on her own...the signs all there...

Loved the way the whole family is in this conspiracy and the WA group and sending images...totally identified with that...and even that chat was so funny, Akash leaving the group and Shyam's comment on that ...loved how you brought out the essence of their characters through that chat...Payal too...wonder what the seniors will have to say to the discussion and image..

Loved how they have always had feelings for each other...the jealousy and disapproval of potential partners like NK who were unceremoniously scared and driven away,.. 

Loved their Nok jhok about their parents and loved their possessive and protectiveness for each other...made me miss SARUN more...as I could imagine them here...I could visualise them in this scene, every gesture, emotion and action being enacted in front of me...the familiarity and feelings for each other...they seemed to be so in tune to each other..

Loved that he can't see her cry and even though he does not believe in God for her he will do anything...almost anything. 

I loved how he says he will buy the cafe...ha ha ...there was something refreshing about this, so much happens in this OS...the way it started with them fighting and bickering to the way the conversation progressed, along with their body language to them opening up about their feelings...something the others realised and expected ...it was so endearing ...

Their childhood friendship finally turning into something 'hot and steamy' ...kya likha hai meri Saiyyu...thank you is not enough for this...I really am touched and feeling so very special...



 

P.S~Oh and the whole thing was very clear and well written ...no confusion about anything ...it was presented so well and it was effective, worked for me...totally loved it...

P.P.S ~ I don't own a gun...

P.P.P.S ~ I knew tu ' hot and steamy ' nahi likh rahi thi...but...thank you for this...hugs.


Edited by vandana.sagar - 10 January 2014 at 10:28pm

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mints23

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mints23

Joined: 07 May 2012

Posts: 5150

Posted: 10 January 2014 at 10:38am | IP Logged
M! Smile 

Edited: 


RAMANCHI!!! Ramanchi ki aapne Saiyyu!! What kind of an OS had we discussed and what did you write???... bechari Vandy ka dil tod diya... She won't say it upfront, but I know that she is heartbroken!! Par yeh toh hona hi tha... I know you are saving the original hot and steamy OS for my birthday!! Wink ...kyonki main tumhari favorite hoon!!

Back to the story... it was lovely... different and funny. I thoroughly enjoyed this crazy conversation. Your favorite kind of story... of childhood love blossoming as they grow up!! Loved the fact that they had always been there for each other, disapproving prospective parters for the other. Heart

This OS had the perfect blend of romance, jealousy, flirting, emotions and love. Mazza aa gaya Saiyyu!! You should totally write more of such stuff... I was unfortunate to not get to read a lot of your stories... but let me at least enjoy some new ones... LOL It was a perfect birthday gift for Vandana... considering the setup to be a coffee shop... I am guessing Costa... because she now almost owns the chain!! 

Oh!! and I loved the WA group chat... my gosh!! I laughed like crazy reading that... Sigh!! I miss IPK and I miss Arnav and Khushi... and their crazy families!! Embarrassed


Edited by mints23 - 10 January 2014 at 9:56pm

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vgedin

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vgedin

Joined: 26 August 2012

Posts: 4467

Posted: 10 January 2014 at 10:38am | IP Logged
R
~Edit~

Naughty naughty Saiyyu Rani Embarrassed

I loved the dialogue form, in a witty exchange of words like this, you don't really need any narration in between. Maintains the flow. I liked it.

And frankly, I never noticed the fact A&K weren't named till you mentioned it in your note. 

I love childhood friendship turned pyaar stories. Very fancy, very romantic. Big smile 

A&K who have seen each other in diapers. Mazzaa aa gaya. And then Arnav talks about his "endowments" and Khushi as usual is flustered and speechless when he so much as look at her. And they are both territorial and possessive.

But I think the WhatApp convo took the cake. Especially Anjali and Shyam. Hilarious! 

IPK kya, mujhe Saiyyu ke FFs ko bahut yaad aati haiCry



Edited by vgedin - 12 January 2014 at 9:26am

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.Avanti.

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.Avanti.

Joined: 03 November 2012

Posts: 5045

Posted: 10 January 2014 at 10:38am | IP Logged
dhinka chika. ..

unres

it was always something else whenever u read you..kuch alag hi baat hoti hai...aur iss baar you tried something else. .. this dialogue form writing is different nd nice.. Mazza aaya muje. ..

par V.s has said that something hot is on way... ye to... never mind.. mere bday pe I know you will write isse bhi zaada hot nd steamy...Wink

arnav khushi as childhood friends c6m enemies was awesome and how they feel jealous when someone else took their place...

arnav peed on pants and that part hahaha. .. lol...
special mention here; I loved asrcraze comment at this part. ..

bilkul bhi bura nahi tha Rsp... bohot acha tha... aur meko first page bhi mila... kitne saalon baad...criticise to main aapko kar hi nahi sakti. ..bas you keep giving these surprises. ..

Thank you poetica. .. you know why...

Edited by .Avanti. - 12 January 2014 at 2:08am

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asrcraze

IF-Stunnerz

asrcraze

Joined: 09 April 2012

Posts: 29393

Posted: 10 January 2014 at 10:39am | IP Logged
She asked for a Hot and Steamy OS and you made it the name of the Cafe ... Very smart Saiyu Clap

Saiyu I liked it... it was different and funny...Like I have told you, you do teasing and humour best :)
Especially laughed hard at the WA convo

I liked the concept that they have known each other since their diaper days and have been fighting and yet have been loving each other neither of them liking the other dating somebody else!!

Only Arnav is good enough for Khushi and vice versa

I had no problem understanding the narration...it was clear...:)




Edited by asrcraze - 10 January 2014 at 10:02pm

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IronButterfly

IF-Dazzler

IronButterfly

Joined: 13 September 2012

Posts: 3659

Posted: 10 January 2014 at 10:41am | IP Logged
I think your experiment worked wonders.
Good one.

Adorable story though i loved the whatsaap convo the most.


Edited by IronButterfly - 10 January 2014 at 1:21pm

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A_BA

Goldie

A_BA

Joined: 06 January 2013

Posts: 2126

Posted: 10 January 2014 at 10:43am | IP Logged
resTongue

Edited:

I was so pleasantly surprised to see that you posted another one shot (and I got first page!!). The OS was anything but hot and steamy...it was more like cute and funny at the Hot and Steamy (what an interesting venue!!)

Loved Arnav's possessiveness, Khushi's sankiness, why it all fadak's, the subtle innuendos (or not so subtle when it comes to Arnav's endowment!), the Gupta and Raizada's nosiness - overall it had the perfect combination of what made the original love story so special and unique!

I think you did a good job of keeping it strictly all dialogue - I had to go back to the previous lines a few times to clarify who was speaking, but I think you did a really good job of it! Shows how you are a versatile writer (and that you should be writing more!!!!)

Happy birthday Vandana, once againSmile


Edited by A_BA - 10 January 2014 at 9:34pm

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