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A tale of two relationships (Page 3)

sweetsugar13 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 2:41pm | IP Logged
Well said Thumbs Up nicee post Smile

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Sultan_Of_Swing

samirao IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 2:48pm | IP Logged
@ serialjankie totally agree with u , marriage is a gamble , wether it's love or arrange cuz no one can give u garenteed happy ending

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SofnaSultan_Of_Swing

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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
Interesting take, NBji. Most of us women on the forum come from progressive backgrounds, are educated and capable of making decisions of such magnitude as career and marriage on our own. That is a luxury a simpleton like Paro cannot afford and she will not be allowed such freedom! 
I agree with some other posts here that the success or failure of marriage is subjective. Varun-sa seems like a likeable guy; in situations such as this, it may take Paro and Varun some time to understand each other and "fall in love" and, and, and... I don't think that a reasonable bride and groom in an arranged marriage plan to jump into bed the night of their marriage and have a go at it. And yes, I have heard of grooms that force themselves on their bride, but Varun-sa seems like a reasonable guy!

Rudra-Laila may scream and scorch in their scenes, but Paro-Varun have a "tender" love Wink. I am a sucker for luv wala ishq Tongue.

I am rooting for Paro-Varun, but alas it shall not be nahiii Ouch


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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Naach_Basanti

Of Paro & Varun, and their shared dreams of a future together and sweet child-like innocence.Of believing in the concept of falling in love, for hoping that this marriage will be forever.

Of Rudra & Laila, of fragrant nights, of shared beds & pillow, of the days after that they don't embrace together.


In normal circumstances, I should be more hopeful of the former & appreciate it more. But I cant.

Somehow at this stage I'm more comfortable with Rudra & Laila's relationship as a known enemy is far worse than an unknown friend. Somehow I just cannot get myself to believe in a relationship where the 2 adults know nothing of each other and yet decide to share the rest of their lives together.

But I understand this is the fate of so many young girls back home. I hope their child like belief in such marriages is upheld and their husbands give them the love & respect they deserve.
 
Lovely and thoughtful post as always NB. For me, neither relationship is ideal...one is based on sex and void of any emotion (at least from the man's side) and the other has random people deciding your future, the person you'll spend the rest of your life with. Both kinds exist in the real world, not sure I prefer either.

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Storybrooke Goldie
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by princessunara

well Paro-Vishal union is short lived as it is.. anyway I have reason to believe that arranged marriages sometimes work better than love marriages, its just luck how any of them turns out...

But here when we do arranged marriages once the kundalis checking business is over u get to meet n decide if u r actually are compatible n date for a while n see (really date i mean).. then only take the plunge.. (lol this is what i expect i will do too in the coming year or two.. so i am much more receptive to the ideaLOL)

in such rural villages as shown here though, its quite common as well as success rate is very high for arranged marriages over love marriages even when this extreme things happen..




I can see the benefits in both a love marriage or arranged marriage, but for me, an arranged marriage has to have something like this, where you have a year or two (or more, but does that happen in arranged marriages?LOL) where you simply get to know the other person and have an idea at least of who you're marrying. And you get to consent to it; it's not forced. If it's an arranged marriage where you've never seen the future spouse before or have never spoken to them before...I don't understand marriages of that kind.


In this story, I also prefer Rudra and Laila's relationship. I think it's because Rudra has already grown from his experiences. He's clear in what he wants, and hence I feel their relationship is more reality based.


Edited by Storybrooke - 07 January 2014 at 2:58pm

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Sultan_Of_Swing

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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 4:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Storybrooke

Originally posted by princessunara

well Paro-Vishal union is short lived as it is.. anyway I have reason to believe that arranged marriages sometimes work better than love marriages, its just luck how any of them turns out...

But here when we do arranged marriages once the kundalis checking business is over u get to meet n decide if u r actually are compatible n date for a while n see (really date i mean).. then only take the plunge.. (lol this is what i expect i will do too in the coming year or two.. so i am much more receptive to the ideaLOL)

in such rural villages as shown here though, its quite common as well as success rate is very high for arranged marriages over love marriages even when this extreme things happen..




I can see the benefits in both a love marriage or arranged marriage, but for me, an arranged marriage has to have something like this, where you have a year or two (or more, but does that happen in arranged marriages?LOL) where you simply get to know the other person and have an idea at least of who you're marrying. And you get to consent to it; it's not forced. If it's an arranged marriage where you've never seen the future spouse before or have never spoken to them before...I don't understand marriages of that kind.


In this story, I also prefer Rudra and Laila's relationship. I think it's because Rudra has already grown from his experiences. He's clear in what he wants, and hence I feel their relationship is more reality based.

Though I agree with what you have said and endorse too, I agree with Sunara when it comes to the show.  The social milieu in which Paro lives this kind of arranged marriage with an unknown person is very common and for most girls and boys brought up in these communities it is very normal thing to do. We are all products of our economic and social backgrounds. Paro's life choices and actions will be based on her understanding of the world in which she grew up, her socialization which is that of rural Rajasthan.  Places like rural Rajasthan still deal with issues such as child marriages even today.

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farheen75 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 4:45pm | IP Logged
@NB

"But I understand this is the fate of so many young girls back home. I hope their child like belief in such marriages is upheld and their husbands give them the love & respect they deserve."


Very aptly said and I can't tell u how scary it is to get married to a virtual stranger as I had an arrange marriage where I never spoke to my husband before marriage... I pray to Allah as well that all the girls who have an arrange marriage should get the love and respect of not only their husband's but of their in-laws as well bcz in an arrange marriage the in-laws play a bigger role than the husband.

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Kangto09Sultan_Of_Swing

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Posted: 07 January 2014 at 9:50pm | IP Logged
I believe all said and done it's fate first and foremost, then it depends on the individuals. Life is a gamble as it is.

In my family & relatives minus one person every marriage has been arranged.
The Islamic way is the groom and bride see each other, speak (there has to be a third person in the room), after that if it's a yes or no from either side, the families take it forward n so on. Also prior to taking the proposal forward , before the meeting, check is done about their background, history, characteristics etc.

 It's a one off meeting. But there are many pple who don't even allow their children to see the prospective bride or groom at all.

I guess it depends on how you approach the marriage. Even as a  single person life deals out a lot of blows. The only thing that is constant in ones life is change. As part of married couple, the tragedies n turbulence's may be double, but then again so is the happiness, peace, satisfaction.

In Paro's case their family not knowing ANYTHING at all about the groom is quite SCARY. Although, many of us liked the sweet romance that was shown, how do we know that after the wedding it wont b revealed that Varun was involved in the smuggling too.

Whereas in Rudra Laila case it is a physical r/ship, no emotion involved...

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