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Arhi SS:What you will(retold) (Page 38)

dreamymaya Goldie
dreamymaya
dreamymaya

Joined: 04 March 2012
Posts: 2156

Posted: 20 January 2014 at 4:28am | IP Logged

"O world! How apt the poor are to be proud."

 

With the opening line, you made me long for my blanket. Khush is really smart in collecting the information from the right source. Once again I am made to believe that you have something against Anjali ---

 Anjali Raizada was a person who always had a soft corner for dogs, strays and all those hapless beings thrown at the mercy of fate. She also had a stubborn streak in her when it came to playing Good Samaritan. So far her acts of mercy were confined to four-legged creatures but now she took one look at the young lad in front of her and decided that this one needed her support.

 

Mami was as usual funny and cutting sharp remarks. But good that we have Nani. It was endearing to hear Khush call Naniji. There was a warmth in that as well in that lovely song you mentioned...Pholon ka taaron ka...sigh!

 Btw, that was a lovely introduction to Payal..I liked her bonding with Khush

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mklam

dreamymaya Goldie
dreamymaya
dreamymaya

Joined: 04 March 2012
Posts: 2156

Posted: 20 January 2014 at 6:15am | IP Logged

"Is it a world to hide virtues in?"

 

animal magnetism---wow! That's a new phrase for me which I am sure I would be using liberally from now on..

 

'Hmm..so this is what it feels like to stand on the edge of a precipice and then being yanked back to solid ground' ---- that was a wonderful metaphor used to describe the suspense and tension!

 

Lavanya with her dimples and lovely smile is always a soothing balm and to see her in a lime green saree was a pleasure..

 

vitriolic spiel --- informative and nice phrasing it with the story. Khush is perspective in finding the hidden link of Arnav-Lavanya relationship. Atleast she has a clue  I loved how all the members felt about the food, each person's thoughts were interesting to read..

 

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mklam

dreamymaya Goldie
dreamymaya
dreamymaya

Joined: 04 March 2012
Posts: 2156

Posted: 20 January 2014 at 6:43am | IP Logged

"Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better." 

 

Your description of ASR's brain makes me fall for him more than its possible!

 

The only chink in his armour if that, was his family - notably his grandmother Devyani and his sister Anjali. When the two ganged up against him, the lion morphed into a lamb.---Again, I loved how you presented the adorable Raizada! Reminded me of the scene where the two gang up against Arnav during the havan in the serial...oh makes me nostalgic!!!

 

Btw, Lavanya-Arnav deal was a good one. Both sides willingly agreed to such a plan. That puts me in peace. And Aman's leave came in as a blessing! At least one week Khush has a freedom from background being checked. Khushi-HP bonding was sweet and it had a wonderful feel of warmth also. Thanks for sharing that Irish Blessing. It indeed was sweet lines! I am very proud of your Lavanya for having faith in love and romance!

 

 

He certainly wouldn't recognize it even if it was staring at him in the face.---Lol! That's so true!

 

You left at a cliffhanger! Don't do that please! Wink!

 

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mklam

dreamymaya Goldie
dreamymaya
dreamymaya

Joined: 04 March 2012
Posts: 2156

Posted: 20 January 2014 at 7:14am | IP Logged
Chapter 5
You have a knack with Manorama  mami - One moment you treat her as the sharp woman she is (she had deciphered Shyam rightly) and next moment you made her comical (By the foodie she is) but she is adorable and I love her absolutely with her flaws. Devayani was quick to catch on Shyam's shift. It shows the old brain is still working and strong. Shyam was slimy character at his best with all soap and butter trying to work his charm on..Anjali you made her dumb here! Now I await for the story of Shyam-Khushi meeting...

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mklam

dreamymaya Goldie
dreamymaya
dreamymaya

Joined: 04 March 2012
Posts: 2156

Posted: 20 January 2014 at 7:26am | IP Logged
Chapter 6
Entry of Kishore Gupta was interesting. There is a mystery of him being rich while his sibling is under disguise. You are making me very very curious. I loved the way Kishore -Lavanya slipped into love..It was quite catchy in a way..Kishore and Lavayna in a boat of romance! 

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mklam

parjay Groupbie
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Joined: 20 June 2013
Posts: 174

Posted: 20 January 2014 at 7:43am | IP Logged
res..
dreamymaya Goldie
dreamymaya
dreamymaya

Joined: 04 March 2012
Posts: 2156

Posted: 20 January 2014 at 8:23am | IP Logged

Oh I forgot to mention in my earlier statement that I loved your usage of Japanese language. It's my favorite and mention of Japan/ Japanese always makes me like Manorama Mami..he he... nostalgic of my Japan life...Oh how I wish I was still living there! Sigh! Manorama and Shashi was an odd combination and their battle was with food! Really interesting and refreshing. However I loved the smartness of Prakash brothers in storing away some extra food for the poor mortals. So considerate! That was an interesting conversation between Khush and Arnav...it was very odd like HP felt but very funny too..I love how you tease Anjali either with sarees or pooja thali and now with fast and seeking pardon from DM...she was so sweet and cute in the beginning of the serial, later they butchered her character completely!

 Everytime he came near the boy, his heart began to gallop. He tried to dismiss it the first few times, but it persisted annoyingly. Oh my God! Does this mean I'm attracted to a boy? What the... here you had me burst out laughing! MyMK! It was absolutely hilarious!

 

Then the bowing started. When one began, the other ended. It was like a wave that flowed and ebbed.---- wow that was a nice touch...but don't make fun of my Japanese customs..its actually so respectful and tell u one thing, Japanese people except Sumo people don't have bulging tummy because of this bowing. Even though its more than a year since I relocated, I still bow if I meet my Japanese friends. It's a warm gesture. I miss Japan!! L

 

 Devyani was excused as she had a bad back. Manorama had to be helped back on her feet as her back had given way .Then Shashi Kashyap showed up with Kishore Gupta for the next round of bowing.----see, this is what I meant, you have a unique way with writing humour.

 

 Akash Raizada was in his element. He practiced all his verbs and adjectives that he had learnt in his free time (trying to master Japanese) and was unaware of the strong waves of disapproval thrown at him by the experts.--- there you got it wrong,.Always a japanese person will help you if you are trying to communicate with them in japanese, they never mind your bad grammar or pathetic attempt in trying to speak a language which has more than 3 scripts and various forms - formal, informal, polite, highly polite, official for one same word. You know I am greatly passionate about that country and its kind people hence I am defending them. Please don't mind.

 

Never saw Shashi gloating, it was a good change..

 

Not in a million years. He's mine. Mine. ASR was about to retort before he smiled politely.What the..where had that thought come from? ---- ROFL!!

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mklam

dreamymaya Goldie
dreamymaya
dreamymaya

Joined: 04 March 2012
Posts: 2156

Posted: 20 January 2014 at 8:32am | IP Logged
Chapter 8

The moment ASR saw the boy, he gave him a terrified look. Then he turned and moved in the opposite direction. He seemed to be in such a haste to get away from Khush and he hit his head against the wall and almost tripped over the ornate stand. Yep. The great ASR, the heartthrob of the female population, the poster-boy of business magazines was falling. Falling hard on the solid floor. ------ Ha ha! You are amazing MK. Never had I come across seeing Arnav falling. It was always Khushi. Only once when he was unconscious did Arnav fell..but you way of tripping him was excellent!

 

ASR tried to spring back and grazed the boy's chest. Whoa! What was that? He could have sworn..---- besharam! He he...

 

Anjali looked annoyed when she was interrupted in her prayers. Then she realized where she was standing and calmed herself down. --- that was another punch at Anjali! He he..

 

 

Why didn't Kishore hold on to his long lost sister, instead asked her to call him? He should be happy na?? WHats the deal there??? And why did Khushi disappear? Btw, Anjali is a dumbu giving blind attention and simpering for all what he is saying.Idiot girl!

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mklam

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