===========================
Swayam OneShot: Flame in the soul
===========================
Swayam swayed to the beat. His fierce expression. His stern face. All of
him just depicted the frustration within him. His mind. His soul. His heart.
Nothing was in sync. And with every beat the fierceness hiked up. Drenched in
sweat, he moved to the music. Looking at his reflection in the mirror, his feet
stomped. Dejected, he sat on the wooden floor.
The battle between his head and heart were
just adding on to his furry. Today, even dance wasn't helping him. Dance that was the only connection between
him and Sharon. He had always felt connected to her through dance. But today he
was unable to match a beat. It was more of a struggle for him. A struggle to get
rid of those awful memories. They were nothing but hurtful.
He didn't know where did he go wrong. The
string of his love that bided the two together. The love that was unconditional.
Is still unconditional. Were those strings that delicate? That all he could receive
in turn was just.. Rejection. Betrayal. Denial. Even all these words seemed to
be incapable of justifying how it was.
It has been so long. Long to have been in
love with her. That he has even lost the track when had he fallen for her. As
for him, with every new day he had just fallen for her again. But Love. Did he have the right to be loved?
The only thing that justified him was humiliation. Humiliation - he was always
a piece of trash been used to humiliate. Insult. Disgust. He has always been
the one on whom people freely commented anything and everything. Every time he
had those piercing words ring in his eardrums, the bitterness spreads in his system.
And it all started because of her.
Slap. He was shattered. But then the reality took over him. Those days are
gone. Are left behind. And the imprints of that slap is still intact. Invisible
on his face but fresh on his soul. What was his mistake? That he wished to
dance. Dance to feel connected to her. Dance to prove himself. And what does he
get in return? Slap. Humiliation. Insult. That too in front of the college
students.
Still, he tries to cool down his burning
veins. Because at that time, there was nothing between him and her. He was
nothing but a stranger to her. One among those useless million boys who wished
to be with her.
Rejection.
He had tried to convey his in depth feelings for
her. As a secret admirer. And he knew she was convinced. Convinced of his pure
love. But when confronted. When revealed about his identity. Of him being her
secret admirer. She had rejected him. Rejected as though he was caught with a deadly
disease. Was he that bad? Had it not been him, she would have accepted the
person. Were those assuring words, only words? Didn't it mean anything to her?
He still made up his mind. His love still
bloomed. Maybe he couldn't prove himself rightly? Maybe the tag of a weakling
was still a matter of worry for her to relate?
Insult. Yet again. He was insulted in front the heap of college students in
the college canteen. She has mindlessly accused him of being sympathetic to her
just to make her realize how small she was. How helpless she was. Not thinking
for once that he cared for her. Wanted her to be lively and not lifeless. He
was ruthlessly questioned to have been trying to force himself on her. His love
and care was misinterpreted as sympathy and lust. She had kept no stone
unturned to have treated him as a trash.
That was the day, when even he had lost his
self control. Saying things which he shouldn't have. Doing things which he
wouldn't forgive himself for. But her action triggered his reaction. He wasn't
to be blamed all alone. She was the one who could get the best and the worst
out of him. But still he couldn't stop loving her. Trying to prove his love for
her.
Then came a day when he was finally
accepted. Though just for a trial
relationship. He could understand. Understand that she wasn't ready. Ready
to hold his hand in hers and claim them to be together. She was still unsure about
her feelings. But he was determined to make her fall in love with him. He has
taken up the challenge to make Sharon, the Diva of the college, fall in love. And
again he had failed. She broke up with him without any reason. Again avoided
him.
The toughest was learning about Sharon's asthma.
But more hurtful was that he couldn't make her trust him enough to have shared
it with him. The reason for her breaking up with him. He decided to support
her. And he did.
Another heartbreaking journey lead them to
a stronger bond. She had finally expressed her love. Her feelings. Her emotions.
To him. He was astounded. Their love bloomed. Blossomed. They had successfully
crossed many of the hurdles. At times, they fell apart just to bind them as one
together. This was a misconception he had held to himself. She had thrashed his
trust into pieces. Be it Aditya Khurana's case or proclaiming their
relationship in front of their friends.
He had conceptualized that she was ready to
accept him as hers. Accept their relationship. He was tagged as a womanizer.
Trying to force himself on her. Bring brutally insulted. His love was been questioned
by his friends as well. They had come a long way in their relationship. But
still she couldn't accept his love. Love that she had been living with.
Non-acceptance, not even Publically public but just to their friends. Than expecting
for public acceptance would just dream for him. Her words of rejection kept
ringing in his ears. The words of those students weren't that hurtful as her
rejecting and non-considerate words for his love. Her ego was more precious to
her. Her reputation mattered. And nothing could match up his Love.
Shattered.
He was highly shattered. Devastated. Broken. Name
the worst and you have it in him.
It took days for him to gather himself. The
shattered pieces of his heart. To collect and bide them together.
He was amazed to have found that Sharon had
confessed her feelings to Swayam's dad. He still cannot express how thankful he
was when Sharon had build bridges between Swayam and Rishi. Filling the gap of
distance between the two. But this was different. She would confess her
feelings and back out the next moment.
He could see how hard she tried to regain
his trust. But he was too weak to face a rejection again. It took him a long
time to collect the pieces of broken heart. It was hard to get them again. And
he knew if this time he would fail. If this time she breaks him down. Then he
knew, he wouldn't be able to mend it again. He would lose himself but wouldn't
get back as the old Swayam Shekhawat.
Trust once broken is hard to regain. And
one can mend a broken heart once but redoing it is harder.
===========================
That's it. PMs will be sent out later #probably.
Please feel free to criticize. And do leave your comments.
For any further PMs add this ID.
Shenz.
Edited by -shenz- - 10 years ago
