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U-No-Poo

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U-No-Poo

Joined: 15 June 2007

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Posted: 03 December 2013 at 12:38pm | IP Logged
Hey everyone, I'm Neeta and am back from an extremely long hiatus. I used to be an avid writer and then some part of my brain simply switched off and I stopped writing. But I'm back now and hope it's permanent. Smile This story is basically a cohesive piece of writing inspired from varied experiences in my own life. I feel best writing comes from one's own experience and this is a policy I've always stuck to. I hope you guys like it. Looking forward to feedback.


SEASONS


Introduction:

Swati stared at the wedding invitation card in front of her, trying hard not to let the bittersweet memories make their way into her mind. It was hard to describe what was feeling in that moment. Surprised? Not really. She had expected this to happen one day. Sad? Maybe. It's hard to let go of the first person you fell in love with. Happy? In a melancholic way perhaps, she was happy to know that he had finally found the person he could spend the rest of his life with. 



Some people change your life completely. Your memory is divided into different parts, like boxes full of different phases of your life. They walk into your life like ordinary people, but make your life extra-ordinary before you even realize it. The funny thing is that it is during these encounters that you realize how uncontrollable life is. It will always end up surprising you no matter how much you try to control it. We always believe that we are in complete control. But are we really? It doesn't really take much to dismantle everything you always held onto so tightly and your life falls apart like a pack of cards.



Ritesh was one such person. Swati's experience with him taught her more about herself than anyone else. If nothing else, she would always remember him for helping her discover things about herself that she didn't know existed. Before him, her life was a like a list of "things-to-do". All she ever did was plan. Plan to eat, plan to sleep, plan to run an errand, plan to work , hell even plan to go shopping or watch a movie. It went on and on and on. She had accepted her life to be such. But then Ritesh happened and everything changed.



While she was mulling over her feelings, her phone rang and broke her reverie. It was Kangan, her closest friend or rather, the only person she could call a "friend".



"Hey, did you get the card?", she asked as soon as Swati picked up the phone. Kangan was pretty hyper by nature. She got excited by things easily. It was this childlike quality that made Swati feel so uninhibited around her.



"Yes, I did", Swati said after a sigh, "Just read it"



"So..how do you feel about this?"


"Honestly, I don't know. A lot of things, I think. But I think it's good in a way. Now I can finally get the closure I've been looking for all these years"



"Do you really think you will get that closure if you attend his wedding? Are you sure it's not going to make things worse?"



Swati paused for a moment. Would it make things worse? It had been 6 years and she still wasn't sure if all her feelings for him were resolved.  



"I have no idea. You think I should probably not go?"



"Ask yourself Swati. Do you want go just so that you can see his face one more time or because you're genuinely happy for him?"



"Both", she replied after a pause.



"Then you should stay away. You can't walk in there longing for him you know"



Kangan was right. Swati knew that. The last thing she wanted was to let old feelings seep through her system again and if not going to the wedding was the only way, so be it.



"I know", she finally replied.



"Think about it, okay?"



"Okay, I will"



The conversation ended there. Swati knew that while some part of her will always love Ritesh, she as a person had moved on. She had accepted the fact that she couldn't have him no matter how hard she tried long time back. It has been 6 long years, she thought. I think I can face this. I should be able to face it. If nothing else, I want to see if I have the strength to get through this.



With this newfound resolve, she picked up her phone and scrolled through the contacts until she found his name. She hit dial and waited for him to pick her call with a strange sense of anxiety tricking in. After 8 rings, he finally picked up.



"Hello?"



"Ritesh? Hey, it's me, Swati"


__________________________________-



Edited by U-No-Poo - 10 March 2014 at 4:12pm

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Aisha1996

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Posted: 04 December 2013 at 7:35am | IP Logged
Awesome introduction
Continue soon

U-No-Poo

IF-Sizzlerz

U-No-Poo

Joined: 15 June 2007

Posts: 23464

Posted: 19 February 2014 at 4:13am | IP Logged
PART 1


There was a short pause. Perhaps he was contemplating what to say. What would be the ideal thing to say here? Swati waited with bated breath for him to respond. This would be a little awkward for both of them, she had known that. 

 


"Hey, Swati. How've you been? It's nice to hear from you", he finally replied. Swati tried to comprehend his state of mind through his words, but she couldn't. She remembered how good she used to be at understanding him, through his silence and his words. She could sometimes even predict what he felt without him even showing any inclination to express it. 6 years is definitely a very long time, she thought.


 

"I'm good. Slowly getting used to be being a lawyer", she replied with a smile. She was making a conscious effort to keep things light. She couldn't handle anything else at the moment. He chuckled lightly and said, "Yes, I can imagine. You have always had an ungodly ethereal connection with the world of law, haven't you?" 


 

"Yes, as you already know"

 


She could hear him nod on the other end. After a small pause, she continued, "So..marriage and all huh? How's it going for you?"

 


"Oh, don't ask. I had no idea it would be so overwhelming. Getting married is an all-consuming process. Every single day is a mess right now"


 

Although he did genuinely sound overwhelmed, Swati could sense the excitement in his voice. She felt something drop in her stomach at that thought, and hated herself for feeling like that the very next moment. When was this going to end?


 

"Yes, getting married in India is worse than running a 100 km marathon, plus you end up getting nothing out of it", she replied, trying to keep her voice as affable as possible. 


 

He chuckled again and sighed, "Hmm one of the few things we always agreed on, isn't it?"


 

Please don't remind me how good it was, she thought. "Ya, one of the very few"


 

"So..tell me about her. How is she?"


 

"She's great", came the instant reply, "We met at work and got along pretty well. Surprisingly she's into sports. She loves watching them, so we gel really well over football matches", he said in one breath. It seemed as though he was trying to prove how well matched they were.

 


"That's amazing. So you finally found a girl who shares your enthusiasm for football haan? I'm sure your marriage will last 7 janams now"


 

He laughed at the other end and she joined him. She had always jokingly told him that it would be impossible to find a girl who was just as big a football freak as him. It seemed as though at least one of her predictions had been proven wrong. Would a mutual love for football sustain them a lifetime? 


 

"No yaar, I'm not up for it for so long. One janam is enough for now", he replied after the laughter had ended. 


 

"C'mon, it's not everyday that you find a girl who is into football. Even if you fight you'll end up on the same couch watching UEFA's final together. At least that much you can take for granted"


 

They laughed again and for a moment it seemed as though no time had passed since they last talked. This is how it used to be before. They took off from each other's sentences and the conversation went on and on. Even during troubled times when she felt she could not have been going through worse, they could make each other laugh. She sometimes felt that their relationship was pure escapism. But it was always more than that.

 


"Haan, but then she should also support the same team. Otherwise I might just have to kill her"

 


"Ya, maybe you should mention that it's mandatory to support the same team in your marriage contract. It's indispensable to your relationship"

 


"True story"


 

There was another short pause at that. Swati had an inkling that Ritesh was waiting to ask her if she would come to his wedding or not. Weird, how a harmless question could make you so anxious.



"So..you're coming right? To the wedding?", he asked finally.


 

"I don't know Ritesh. I've been thinking about it. I'm very happy for you, but I don't want it to affect me"

 


"I can understand. But it would make me very happy if you came. Genuinely"


 

"I'll let you know in a few days for sure"


 

"Great. I'll be expecting you, okay?"


 

"Okay. Good luck with the preparations"


 

"Thanks, and keep in touch now that we've talked, okay?"


 

"Absolutely. Chalo, then, bye..I'll get in touch soon"


 

"Ya, bye. And Swati?"


 

"Ya?"


 

"It was great talking to you again"

 


She sensed the earnestness in his voice and felt a strong urge to go and meet him. After a short pause, she replied, "Same here, Ritesh"

 


She cut the call and sat down on her bed. For a few minutes she sat there, completely stationary. Thoughts, memories, feelings - everything had become a mixed blur. She couldn't exactly pinpoint what she was feeling or going through at that moment, but she knew one thing for sure - He could still stir up a lot of emotions in her. She had always been relatively an emotionally vacant person, but Ritesh was one person who could make her feel.


____________________________________

Feedback will be appreciated! Smile



Edited by U-No-Poo - 19 February 2014 at 4:14am

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pari-kirloskarCavingInkhoslakadhokla

CavingIn

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CavingIn

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Posted: 19 February 2014 at 6:49am | IP Logged
Writing reality , life as it is , has always been to me an amazing talent. You have just given me an excellent piece to read in that aspect. Amazingly well written. You made me visualise the scenes pretty well.
Great job , hats off!
Regards
Nidha
PS - Love the username and signature.

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U-No-Poo

U-No-Poo

IF-Sizzlerz

U-No-Poo

Joined: 15 June 2007

Posts: 23464

Posted: 21 February 2014 at 3:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by CavingIn

Writing reality , life as it is , has always been to me an amazing talent. You have just given me an excellent piece to read in that aspect. Amazingly well written. You made me visualise the scenes pretty well.
Great job , hats off!
Regards
Nidha
PS - Love the username and signature.

Thanks so much! Yes, writing reality as it is comes best to me. Personally I feel writing should be effortless. I'm very glad you liked it. Hope you keep coming back :)

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pari-kirloskarCavingIn

U-No-Poo

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U-No-Poo

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Posts: 23464

Posted: 26 February 2014 at 1:22pm | IP Logged
PART 2


Ritesh kept the phone down and stared at Swati's name. He had always felt that no one could really take Swati's place in his life. The experiences that he shared with her were priceless. Even if he tried to relive those moments with someone else, it wouldn't be the same. It was a different high when they were together. But they were also one of those couples that would drive each other crazy when in a relationship. So even though what they had shared was a once in a lifetime connection; they both failed at being together.  


A fleeting memory came into his mind and he couldn't help but smile.. 


"So what's the scene today?"  


Swati picked up her phone and checked Ritesh's whatsapp. She felt the familiar sense of excitement slowly grow within her. She was slowly becoming addicted to these random sneak outs and she knew it, but she felt she could hardly do anything about it and honestly didn't want to either. Even the simple prospect of having chai with him at India Gate made her feel happy. 


"I have an idea. Why don't we go to Purani dilli railway station? That way you can finally see what a Railway station looks like and we can eat something in comesum too. You can also finally see what a train looks like", she typed and hit send. It was rather weird, but Ritesh had never been on a train and had never seen the interior of a Railway station either. It had taken her aback when he had told her about his inexperience with India's most common mode of travel, more so because she had spent half her life travelling in trains; literally.  


"Ha ha ha..that's ingenius", came the reply. 


Swati laughed out loud and began typing, "Isn't it? Exciting too, right?" 


"Please, I have no interest in doing vellapanti in Purani Dilli railway station of all places. Maintain some standard ok?" 


"You're such a sissy, Ritesh. What's so silly about visiting the railway station? It's home to more than half the junta you know" 


"But what will we do there?" 


"C'mon doesn't the idea of visiting a new place excite you?" 


"Um..No" 


"Come anyway, it'll be fun. Trust me" 


She could imagine him sighing on the other end. Who wins in this head on fight of two stubborn people?  


"Fine. Let's go. But don't make faces if I make faces" 


"Ha ha..I won't" 


"K..Meet me at 12:40 then. Main gate" 


"Yo ;)" 


Swati kept the phone aside and checked the time. It was 11:30. She had slightly more than an hour to get ready. But for her getting ready meant taking a bath and wearing her pyajamas. She hardly ever combed her hair because she was going through this phase of letting the hair look crazy to give out a nonchalant vibe. It also made her look like quite the vibrant geek. 

 
Ritesh's music taste was the complete opposite of hers. He was into trance and dubstep, which according to her was just white noise. Any music without meaningful lyrics was pointless and meaningless to her. She, on the other hand, was someone who was an avid AR Rahman fan, loved Pakistan Coke Studio and could listen to songs by Strings and Euphoria all day. Which is why they squabbled a lot over music each time they were out on a drive. He insisted on playing his endless dubstep tracks that made her want to bang her head against the wall (windshield) and she insisted on playing her own songs that made him want to doze off. 


He also loved the new "in" song that the entire universe seemed to be drooling over - Tum Hi Ho by Arijit Singh, which Swati loathed. To her it sounded like some constipated guy was making a great amount of effort. So to counter the irritation that the song generated, she downloaded some of her favourite 90's govinda songs like Aa aa eee oo ooo ooo, Husn hai suhana, Hero. No 1..' in her phone so that she could threaten to play them each time he tried to play any song from Aashiqui 2. 


She decided to while away her time by listening to random old songs and fantasizing about their meeting. As a psychology student, she knew that fantasizing was a very unhealthy practice, but over the period of time she realized that it was the only way she could survive through some not-so-good times. And now it had become a regular habit. It was her way of escape. 


At exactly 12:15, she picked up her phone, car keys and wallet, checked herself last time in the mirror and walked out of her house, locking the door behind her. Walking towards the car, she started feeling anxious, as usual.


Swati had had social anxiety disorder ever since she was a kid. She could still recall times when 
she would unexpectedly start feeling dizzy, would experience shortness of breath and would feel
the walls closing in on her. This was a full blown panic attack that she only experienced when
the stress levels got so high that she couldn't handle it anymore. But a constant amount of 
anxiety always preluded any social interaction that she had in her life. Even meeting Ritesh, whom she had known almost for 3 months now, still gave her jitters. She had considered getting on medication many times but could never muster up the courage. She knew being on medication was a lifelong commitment towards dealing with both it's advantages and disadvantages. 



She got into her car, wore the seat belt and started the engine. She put on some good music (the
kind that she liked) and got the car into motion. Meeting Ritesh was the best part of her day. 
Those few hours were like a few stolen precious moments. She had never experienced this level
of reckless abandon ever before. He made her happy. She never saw anything beyond that.



Within 2 minutes, she reached the main gate of K Block, where he lived. They lived only a few 
blocks apart, so that made sneaking out with him considerably easier. He had still not reached
the gate, so she dropped him a text on whatsapp saying she had reached, pushed her seat back and laid back down. Immediately her phone buzzed, she picked it and read his reply.


"Arey yaar, why did you come so jaldi? I'm on my way back from my underground tunnel in Guantonamo Bay. Just had tea with Saddam Hussain there. Mast hai banda :p"



Swati smiled and shook her head lightly. Typical Ritesh Third-grade humor. He was a smooth hand at this type of nonsense, and none could really beat him at it. He could go on for hours. Hawabaaz, she thought and started typing.



"The guy's dead"



"He's not. That was a conspiracy by Bush. I've kept him alive all these years"



"Great. Toh next time take me there too. I'll also meet him"



"Okay, but talk to him respectfully. I've pataoed his daughter na. Sasur hai mera"



"Does she have a brother?"



"No, too bad for you"



"Koi cousin vousin?"



"I'll ask sasur jee"



"Great. Have you reached Delhi ya abhi hawa mein batein ho rahi hain? Pun intended, by  the way"



"Ha ha ha..arey chill, I'm very close to you. I always keep my commitments"



"Get lost"



":P"



She was smiling unabashedly at their conversation and how pointless it was. But it was this mindless talk that was the most endearing thing about their relationship. It never got too serious. She wondered if it would be a problem later. 



In 5 minutes he was standing next to the car, flashing his million dollar smile at her. He sat inside
and spat out his favorite greeting word, "Wassup?"



"Stratosphere, scientifically"



He made a grotesque face at that and said, "Why don't you get a real sense of humor?"



"Why don't you get a brain?"



"Why don't you buzz off?"



"Same to you back to you with no return"



They laughed simultaneously. Who could imagine that the 24 hours spent before this particular
conversation were full of nothing but work, emotional stress and physical exhaustion for Swati? 
She never brought that baggage over this threshold. She didn't know about Ritesh though, maybe he had also had a rough day, maybe he didn't. He never talked about his problems either. As people, they were both not very expressive of their pain. They kept it inside and dealt with it internally. Conversation about feelings was overrated in both their opinions.



"So ready to go to Purani dilli railway station?", she asked in an excited voice.



"No, but I don't have a choice here, so let's go", he replied in a mock annoyed voice. 



"Yes, you don't", replied Swati. He was a relentless whiner, and whined about everything. It had come to a point where it hardly ever made any difference to her. 



"I'll play my music now"



"Okay, I'll let you take that one"



He instantly played Tum hi ho, something she had anticipated. To annoy her further, he sung along in a Tarzan like voice. So it was a combination of a constipated voice and a tarzan like voice.
If there ever was something known as "Noise pollution gang rape" - this was it. She cruised at a
steady speed of 45 km/hr, letting the drive and Ritesh's presence soothe her mind. She sometimes got the feeling that he stared at her while she was in one of her trances, but he never made it obvious so she never asked. 

______________________________________


This is obviously going to be a long part, so I'll continue it soon. Tired for now :P



Edited by U-No-Poo - 27 February 2014 at 11:46pm

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pari-kirloskarCavingInkhoslakadhokla

CavingIn

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CavingIn

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Posted: 27 February 2014 at 10:29am | IP Logged
Okay there are many things I want to quote and comment about this wonderful piece of work , so please don't mind if my comment looks like verbal diarrhoea. But firstly you remind me so much of my Didu and I miss her dearly and her writing. You also remind me of another brilliant writer in this forum. To reach your levels of writing I would probably take years. Truly marvellous dear.
That way you can finally see what a Railway station looks like and we can eat something in comesum too. You can also finally see what a train looks like",

Hilarious and absolutely plausible. I mean there are such people right?

"Arey yaar, why did you come so jaldi? I'm on my way back from my underground tunnel in Guantonamo Bay. Just had tea with Saddam Hussain there. Mast hai banda :p"

The guy's dead"



"He's not. That was a conspiracy by Bush. I've kept him alive all these years"



"Great. Toh next time take me there too. I'll also meet him"



"Okay, but talk to him respectfully. I've pataoed his daughter na. Sasur hai mera"



"Does she have a brother?"



"No, too bad for you"



"Koi cousin vousin?"



"I'll ask sasur jee"



"Great. Have you reached Delhi ya abhi hawa mein batein ho rahi hain? Pun intended, by  the way"

This was awesome. There are truly very few people with such talent. Writing brilliant thoughts and all is cool. Magar bina matlab ki baathein bol kar hasana tho ek super talent hain na.

Fantasising is not good! Tell me which psuchologist said that and I will shoot him. Arrey! Main pagal thodi na hun. Mujhe bas yunhi sapne dekhne ki adath hain. I am absolutely sane. Waise, Sanity is as such is an illusion in my opinion. Duniya ke sab kisi na kisi tarah se pagal hain mere ray mein. Ab mujhe hi dekho :p

Declaring pain is over rated perhaps but sharing , sharing is comforting. But then again you do that only when you know your pain is safe with the person. I am not judging here just stating. 

Will be eagerly waiting for the next update :D
Regards
Nidha

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U-No-Poo

U-No-Poo

IF-Sizzlerz

U-No-Poo

Joined: 15 June 2007

Posts: 23464

Posted: 02 March 2014 at 3:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by CavingIn

Okay there are many things I want to quote and comment about this wonderful piece of work , so please don't mind if my comment looks like verbal diarrhoea. But firstly you remind me so much of my Didu and I miss her dearly and her writing. You also remind me of another brilliant writer in this forum. To reach your levels of writing I would probably take years. Truly marvellous dear.
Thankyou so much. I'm glad I remind you someone you love so much. Smile But I must say I'm not that good, trust me I just write whatever comes to my mind without really thinking. I'm flattered to know that people like it, actually. Embarrassed

That way you can finally see what a Railway station looks like and we can eat something in comesum too. You can also finally see what a train looks like",

Hilarious and absolutely plausible. I mean there are such people right? Yep, I've met such a person myself. :p

"Arey yaar, why did you come so jaldi? I'm on my way back from my underground tunnel in Guantonamo Bay. Just had tea with Saddam Hussain there. Mast hai banda :p"

The guy's dead"



"He's not. That was a conspiracy by Bush. I've kept him alive all these years"



"Great. Toh next time take me there too. I'll also meet him"



"Okay, but talk to him respectfully. I've pataoed his daughter na. Sasur hai mera"



"Does she have a brother?"



"No, too bad for you"



"Koi cousin vousin?"



"I'll ask sasur jee"



"Great. Have you reached Delhi ya abhi hawa mein batein ho rahi hain? Pun intended, by  the way"

This was awesome. There are truly very few people with such talent. Writing brilliant thoughts and all is cool. Magar bina matlab ki baathein bol kar hasana tho ek super talent hain na. Thankyou! Big smile

Fantasising is not good! Tell me which psuchologist said that and I will shoot him. Arrey! Main pagal thodi na hun. Mujhe bas yunhi sapne dekhne ki adath hain. I am absolutely sane. Waise, Sanity is as such is an illusion in my opinion. Duniya ke sab kisi na kisi tarah se pagal hain mere ray mein. Ab mujhe hi dekho :p

It's not good in the sense that reality leaves you bitterly disappointed when your fantasies do not come true. It's human nature to fantasize about something and then expect it to come true. It's impossible to detach expectations from something that you so lovingly harbor and cherish. I agree with the point about sanity. Who is sane, really?

Declaring pain is over rated perhaps but sharing , sharing is comforting. But then again you do that only when you know your pain is safe with the person. I am not judging here just stating. 

Yes, I wasn't judging either, just putting forward a point of view that sharing and/or opening yourself upto someone is as harmful as it is comforting. Emotional dependency in a world where relationships are more transient than your taste in coffee is a very dangerous thing. It's a beautiful thing when you do find someone who is worthy of your company and secrets, but until then, keep them safe within. Or that's what I feel :)

Will be eagerly waiting for the next update :D
Regards
Nidha

Thankyou for the amazing response!

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CavingIn

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