Originally posted by: Nazzyx8Beautiful post dear!! 🤗
Loved reading your FF & you're a talented writer! 👏👍🏼I can actually imagine the scenarios of your FF which shows how perfectly you are portraying it! 👍🏼Please do continue writing 😃
(P.S it might be a while before i can update...thank you for all the comments and thank you so much for reading😳😛)
Chapter Three
"Come on move your right leg...okay...now the left one," the therapist instructed.
I gripped on the bars as I tried to balance my weight and once again I slipped and fell flat on my bottom.
It was humiliating to say the least and like every fall, I always sat there until the therapist finally gave up.
"Come on Shraddha! Not again, you can do it! You are giving up too easily," the therapist piped in.
I wasn't interested in improving, I wasn't interested in anything there was no use...what was I going back to for me to get better...?
I didn't have anywhere to return to.
Kamini was blaming me for Kunal, her son's, death and didn't want no part of me. Purshottam couldn't look at me and even if he didn't say anything, Iknew/know that he accuses me, thinks it's my fault for whatever happened to Dhruv and Kunal. He adored Dhruv as his grandson and he couldn't make sense of what was going on what happened and he lost Kunal, his only son, and somehow the daughter-in-law that got imposed onto him was the only member that was still alive.
Ever since my family was acknowledged about my accident two weeks ago, Kamini never came to visit except for three days after when Amrit and my father was stuck in traffic on their way to the hospital.
At first she was silent, helping to assist me in getting up and took the task in helping feed me.
"Here," she said pushing the spoon of food close to my lips.
I stared at her and she stared back, her face blank no sign of anything on her face.
No anger, no sadness...just nothing.
"Come on...eat. You are weighing less and less," she said.
Still nothing. No emotions, just a blank stare as her hand was still prodding for me to open.
I gave in and opened my mouth and took the food that she offered.
She then lowered her eyes and picked up more food from the plate and she continued until I started chocking.
She quickly poured some water in a cup and gave me some.
"I heard what you said and I'm wondering as to why it's your fault?" she said.
I looked at her and still there wasn't anything registering on her face.
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"You obviously said it was your fault...I'm just wondering how much of it is? Is it the fact that Kunal died?" she asked.
I lowered my cup trying to remember when I said that but it wasn't coming to mind.
"I'm sorry? I don't know what you're talking about...?" I said confused.
"Okay fine you don't know, do you remember the accident, do you remember what happened?" she interrupted.
How could I not? It kept on haunting me in my dreams. Every time the nurses wheeled a stretcher pass my room, the memory of tires scratching against gravel, us spinning...it all comes to mind.
A nurse who was trying to force a feeding tube on me after I refused to eat after my breakdown, she knocked over a vase and the image of glass...the image of Dhruv...Kunal...it was too much.
But I didn't want to talk about it.
"No I don't remember," I lied.
"You have to remember something," finally an emotion crossed on her face, disbelief and desperation.
"I don't remember..."
"Don't remember? How come you don't remember?" she asked in disbelief.
"I don't remember what happened," I said placing the cup by the nightstand.
"What did you do? What happened? What happened to Kunal, what happened to MY SON!" she screamed the last part hysterically.
I jumped at the sudden increase in her voice.
I didn't know how to act and I was starting to get uncomfortable.
The heart rate monitor started beeping, as my heart rate started to rise at Kamini's sudden change in mood and her behavior.
"What happened to him? I let him...I let you...I let him marry you. I didn't want you or your son...but he wouldn't quit. Do you hear me? I didn't want you or that filthy bas***d!
At her mention of Dhruv I turned a sharp gaze at her.
"You can damn me all you want but don't mention my son in this. Do not talk about my son like that," I told her in a warning voice.
The beeping on the machine was getting frequent, the beeps becoming more periodic.
"Why not? Kunal threatened to leave and he left me for you and that son of yours. I agreed, finally to let you have him and what did you do? YOU KILLED HIM!"
The rising anger and tension in me at her mention of Dhruv dissipated into shock at her accusation of Kunal's death.
"N...N..N..No... I didn't" I tried to say.
I tried touching her hand, her arm for her to understand...but she flung my hand away.
"You killed him...I tried rationalizing this I tried saying no, no there is no way but it's been almost a month since my son died, you were knocked out for three weeks and now...now you're telling me you don't know?" she looked at me like I was ludicrous.
"I don't...
"Shut it! It has to be true, you guys have been arguing recently and it was always you that started the fights. You must have planned this didn't you?" she said.
She was distraught and her eyes were diverted before but this time she stared at me straight in the face with the accusation.
"Kamini..." the beeping was becoming more rapid as I tried to pacify Kamini.
She wouldn't budge and the onslaughts continued.
"You killed him! You killed my son! You are a filthy murderer!" she cried
"Kamini," I said.
"You killed him..." She scooted away from her seat when I touched her again.
"Don't freaking touch me! You killed my son. Stay the heck away from me. I'm tossing all your stuff out of our house. Everything that you own and that son of yours own! I don't want your stuff in our house...I don't want a murder's stuff and her bas***d son's stuff in my house. You're a filthy murderer," she was screaming.
"Kamini, this is not true I didn't kill him it wasn't my fault!" I screamed and I couldn't breathe, my vision was getting blurred again.
NO! Don't pass out, don't pass out. Don't you dare let me slip into unconsciousness!
I gripped my head willing for myself to maintain consciousness slipping into sleep, into darkness; into that void...it wasn't a good thing.
I gripped my chest as I started wheezing and gasping for breath and gripped the side of the bed to maintain my equilibrium and soon an alarm started ringing and soon nurses and the doctor were racing in my room. All I could remember was Kamini going on in her distraught and nurses trying to calm her down as they removed her from the room while others were trying to pin me back on the bed to put an oxygen mask over my face while the doctor and nurse began administering CPR.
"I guess you are not in the mindset today, Meera put her back in the chair. Shraddha...this is serious. Your injuries weren't critical but if you don't try to improve, you not going to get better," the therapist said.
The nurse nodded her head and complied.
"I will talk to your doctor and just arrange for these meetings for twice a week. Until you're ready to improve we can't keep having these sessions if you're not serious," the therapist said.
"Meera take her back to her room," he said before he walked away to greet another patient that was being guided in by another nurse.
She was a smaller girl, who had jet-black hair that was shoulder-length.
She had very pale skin, large brown eyes and a small nose all set against a chubby face.
She always frequently come in around the time I'm done with my sessions.
She was playing with a small ball before she came in and then she looked up and stared at me.
She smiled.
And I turned away.
"Shraddha, excuse me for a second I need to get your chart before we go back just wait here I will be right back," Meera said.
I didn't say anything and instead rested my head on my shoulder.
"Okay then, I will put you by the window, the weather is really good today, you might enjoy it," Meera piped in.
She made sure my clothing was adjusted and my hands weren't leaning by the wheels of the wheelchair before she wheeled me by the window.
"I will be right back." Meera said.
She walked away and I was barely paying attention to my surroundings until I felt a ball hit my leg.
"Ahjumma!" a voice called.
I looked up momentarily and the same girl who always smiled at me when I came in for my sessions was running over to catch her ball. I couldn't accurately place whether she looked like a human or if she was some pretty little Korean doll.
"Ahjumma, I'm sorry," she said smiling at me.
She was wearing a black and white polka-dot dress with a black bow in her hair. She had on white gloves with the inscription of J & Y.
I ignored her and continued to space out but she began tugging on my arm.
"Ahjumma," she kept on and I finally got annoyed and I looked down at her.
"Great you finally decided to pay attention," she said smiling.
She tiptoed and pressed her hands against my face and I moved away.
She smiled even more.
"No need to blame yourself ahjumma, it wasn't your fault," she said smiling even more.
I looked at her with mild interest. It wasn't news that my accident was the latest gossip around the hospital.
There were times when I could hear the nurses talking about it and sometimes I could hear many of them thinking I was involved in Kunal's death.
The words "evil" or "gold digger" or "scary" would go around as well.
I remember while Meera left me to take a shower and went to get shampoo to wash my hair, I remember two other nurses coming in my room talking.
"Can you believe it, her husband was really handsome." One of the voices said.
"You don't have to tell me, plus that business he owned some jewelry business I heard it was branching into Japan," the other said.
"Branching? You're foolish, he already opened at least five shops there I heard he was in talks with some partner that was from South Korea," the voice murmured.
"But it seems all to convenient...I wonder how long the misses will continue to play up the act...I mean she has unlimited access to all his money now,"
"Wow she is something to do all of this. It seems she miscalculated. Ultimately his parents can contest with the rights of his business isn't it?" the other voice said.
"She should have thought and planned better maybe if she wasn't so impatient and greedy she would have thought better in not killing her own son. At least he would've been an easier way for her to have access to her husband's money," one of the nurses said while laughing.
"But what can you do nowadays all these girls are so desperate in marrying up and cashing in big they don't think," both nurses laughed as i could hear their voices drift away out of the room..
I paid no heed to it because ultimately it was my fault.
If I didn't argue with him, if I just let him concentrate on driving instead of trying to pick a fight with him.
If I just sucked it up for once, if I let him explained...
This wouldn't be the situation.
"But ahjumma it isn't. I mean just because you argued with him doesn't mean a thing," she said.
I was still ignoring her until she said the last sentence I immediately looked at her.
She was smiling even more but then her brow furrowed.
How did she know...I didn't tell anyone that I remembered what happened in the accident sooo...how was it possible?
More or less I never even told anyone...
"Ahh...ahjumma don't worry your secret is safe with me," she said winking while making zipping motions with her lips.
"How do..." I said baffled.
"I better get back..." She said while dodging my question.
She gave a quick bow and turned away.
I was confused but I turned away, probably hearing her wrong but she said something else that had me freeze in place.
"Also ahjumma, don't take those pills...it would make it a lot harder," she said.
I looked at her and she smiled even more before she was rushing towards the nurse that brought her in earlier.
****************************
"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Meera asked.
I nodded my head and Meera was still hesitant.
"If you need help just press this button at any time. If you're too weak I will immediately rush in or another nurse will. There is a change of clothes be careful," she said.
"I'm fine don't treat me like a baby," I mumbled.
"Sorry.." she said and she walked away from the bathroom and I heard the click of the of the front door when she left my room.
I was sitting in the bath tub and no matter how warm the water felt, my whole body still felt cold and numb.
The past few days have been trying and the past weeks have been bearable with my family but it wasn't something I could forget or just move on from.
I looked at my clothing that I just out from sitting on the basket that was by the door.
I tried using my upper body to lift myself to get inside the pockets but I fell back on the tub.
The pain traveled down my leg but it disappeared as soon as it came.
I gave it a few more tries until I was able to successfully get to the pocket and snag what I wanted from it.
I smiled at my victory.
I opened my hand and saw the bottle of sleeping pills that I have managed to steal from the nurse when she was distracted.
Every day the nurse will give it to me to help me with sleeping but I refused to take it.
Sleep wasn't good, even in sleep my nightmares would plague me, taunt me, Kamini's accusation would surround me until it was deafening.
I stared at the pills knowing I shouldn't take it...I lost my courage...I didn't think I could do it and moved the pills away.
"No need to blame yourself ahjumma, it wasn't your fault"
It was my fault, it was my fault and they are dead and im still alive there is no question about it.
"Ahjumma, don't take those pills...it would make it a lot harder,"
I wanted to laugh.
How hard can things already get, how worse can it get than what the situation I am in right now.
I laughed.
Dhruv died, he died due to my anger.
Kunal died due to my accusations.
I was responsible for their death.
I don't deserve to be alive.
I don't deserve to exist when they didn't get the chance to.
"You killed him! You killed my son! You are a filthy murderer!"
She was right...I am...
I twisted the cap until it was open and dunked the whole bottle of pills into my mouth and quickly swallowed the pills.
I waited in the tub...but didn't feel anything.
It took a while before I started feeling dizzy and soon my vision was beginning to blur I tried grabbing my head to ease the weight as it felt so heavy.
I used both hands to hold it but soon my arms felt too heavy for my shoulders to support it dropped into the water making a small splash, causing some water to splash onto the floor.
I slumped, causing my head to fall back and hitting the bathroom wall.
The room in the bathroom started to move around, swirl, and jumble around.
For the first time I felt peace.
For the first time I felt the weight of my mistakes weren't weighing heavily on me.
I turned my head to the side and saw the same girl from earlier and she was wearing a frown on her face.
I smiled...lazily...drowsily...
I thought she said something but I couldn't as the pills gripped and pulled me under its depth.
****************************
I stared at her as her body was slowly mid-bobbing in the water.
Her eyes were closed and in a long time her face seemed at peace and at rest.
"Ugh...why do they have to always do this. I tell them not to kill themselves and they still do so...aaaiiisshhh!" I murmured.
I walked over, gripping her hand by her wrist checking for her heart rate and it was slowly dying.
"Ahjumma you are making my job a lot harder...but it's going to be sooo worth it when I see your face when you wake up..." I trailed on.
Her heartbeat was getting fainter and I scrunched my brow.
"Shraddha...don't give up yet...you can still have Dhruv and Kunal back" I said.
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Originally posted by: niki_2293I dnt have words! This is like awesum..even though the suspense is killing me!! The only thing that is bugging me is the direct addressal of names of elders by shraddha. I mean she is calling kamini n amrit by their name. Coz amrit is her mum n kamini is still her mum-in-law. Pardon me for asking this but do u live outside India?? Coz i feel that ur addressals arent in sync with the ones in India. Apart from that, ur writing is fabulous n very enthralling. Smthg that i am reading after a long time.👍🏼
Originally posted by: sweetmadhuri18That was awesome !!So excited to read the next part...
This is something really different ...
Great Job 👍🏼😊
Originally posted by: Heartbeat123Dnt knw wht to say...😕...this death version of my favorite characters killing me...😭
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