Ek Nanad Ki Khushiyon Ki Chaabi...Meri Bhabhi

   

FF: ~Crashed~ This is my First: Updated Chp 23 Pg 71

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najialuv88

IF-Dazzler

najialuv88

Joined: 10 September 2013

Posts: 4886

Posted: 26 November 2013 at 9:37am | IP Logged
Hi, I have been urged in attempting to write a fanfic although i haven't done so before...after a while i decide what the heck and share it. it might not be good but i would love to hear everyone's feedback if they dont mind and have time. idk if i should continue or not. thank you

 

Intro:

Shraddha and Kunal has been married for the past two and a half  years. Together they are raising Dhruv while balancing their individual careers. Their relationship at one point was nothing but smooth sailing and filled with affection and love until a misunderstanding creates tension and a rift in their relationship. Things cannot go back to being the same when one day, their world is turned upside down. There is only one chance to make things right and its up to Shraddha to put two-to-two together in order to save her family.

 

Prologue

My heart was racing, it wouldn't stop, it wouldn't stop...

The pain was slashing across my brain; the vessel in my temple was throbbing nonstop.

I tried moving but I couldn't, I tried breathing, but it was coming out in painful, sharp breaths.

Something was pressing on my rib-cage and I wasn't sure if it was whiplash from the impact or if it was the death grip the seatbelt had across my upper body.

I tried moving my hands, my arm, but it felt so numb almost as if it wasn't connected to my body.

A terrifying thought arose, what if my hands weren't attached...

But it was stifled once I was able to move my pinky, slightly and then was able to move an index finger and slowly was able to move all my fingers.

I tried to move my hand, but it ran across glass and I could feel as pieces of glass easily sliced through my skin, causing blood to form and instantly causing pain to ripple through my arm.

I tried searching around, trying to figure out where I was and what I was doing there but nothing was forming in my mind and nothing was coming to mind.

I continued to swim in confusion for a few minutes or so until his face...no their faces pierced before my eyes.

KUNAL...DHRUV...

I opened my eyes and tried to twist my head but pain greeted me as it shot down to my spine and causing my body to protest.

I tried to move even more, but it was difficult as I was trying to gain orientation of my surroundings.

After a few brief unsuccessful movements and my vision starting to clear, it was becoming obvious that that I was upside down...

No...WE was upside down.

My mind started to slowly kick into action but my body was having a hard time in catching up.

I tried to get my hands to grip the seat-belt as I twisted my body once again despite my body's protest.

I needed to see if he was okay.

Please let him be okay.

It's my fault, my fault all my fault...

Don't let him...

As soon as I turned around and I caught his face, my heart stopped knocking the breath out of my chest.

My blood seemed to burn as it squeezed painfully through my veins and tears wanted to make its way forward but I had to maintain it, I had to...

Kunal...

 There was a small stream of light coming from one of the light posts that was on the street

His eyes were open and glazed over; staring listlessly in the dark night.

His lips were cut and split from the glass; his face a swollen pulped mess.

His dark brown hair was matted around his forehead due to his sweat and something else I couldn't clearly make out.

His blue dress shirt was covered with blood and glass...HIS blood that was pooling slowly down from his head and his chest.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to grab and touch him, but if I did...if I knew that he really was...

I forced the thought down immediately and then I whipped my head around

Meeting with a nice sharp pain down my neck and spine and nausea to boil from my stomach

Dhruv...

"Dhruv," my voice tried calling out in the dark car, feeling as if my voice wasn't carrying any weight in reaching my son, our son...

"Dhruv" I continued and continued.

Fear took over in my bosom and with little strength, I grappled my seat-beltfighting to claw it off but the belt wouldn't come off.

I continued, in hysterical motions.

"Dhruv."

I continued my movements until I was able to come loose and a quick "dud" was heard when I hit the roof top of the car.

Pain went through my body, my vision blurred, but I wasn't going to stop. I couldn't stop.

"DHRUV" I called, trying to maneuver, to see, to reach the back seat

My heart dropped, the breath was stumped out of me.

 I wanted to grab my hair and rip it out, this wasn't real, this wasn't happening.

His body was slumped and blood was slowly flowing down his neck, where a large piece of glass was lodged in.

His small hands were still holding on tight to his favorite Superman toy that Kunal brought for his ninth birthday

His skin was taking on a dangerous bluish-purple discoloration but his chest was still rising, slightly, struggling for breath.

I tried to move to the seat but couldn't get through. My stomach was preventing me from it, but I couldn't stop and I couldn't think as I tried to get to Dhruv.

But I never made it as a hand ripped open the door, while another hand grabbed my leg and pulled me out away from the car

away from Dhruv ...

away from Kunal...

****************************

Like i said earlier what do you think, should i continue or not? Is it good or not? Idk but everyone's feedback would be nice. thank youTongueSmile

****************************


I want to thank everyone for their responses and i wasn't sure if this was good or not but due to everyone's responses i think i might just continue. thank you everyone for reading and ur responses. u guys are awesomeTongueThumbs UpEmbarrassed

Updated:

Chapter One on Pg 3

 http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&PID=96867166&#p96867166

Chapter Two on Pg 4

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=4&#p96936674

Chapter Three on Pg 7

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&PID=96991678&#p96991678

Chapter Four on Pg 9

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=9&#p97046135

Chapter Five on Pg 13

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=13&#p97111873

Chapter Six on Pg 16

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&PID=97293174&#p97293174

Chapter Seven on Pg 18

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=18

Chapter Eight on Pg 25

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=25&#p97916010

Chapter Nine on Pg 26

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&PID=97926538&#p97926538

Chapter Ten on Pg 30

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=30&#p98103986

Chapter Eleven on Pg 33

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=33&#p98349875

Chapter Twelve on Pg 36

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=36&#p98982120

Chapter Thirteen on Pg 41

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=41&#p99797753

Chapter Fourteen on Pg 45

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=45&#p101602231

Chapter Fifteen Pg 47

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=47&#p102121432

Chapter Sixteen Pg 51

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=51&#p102997814

Chapter Seventeen Pg 53

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=53&#p103306266

Chapter Eighteen Pg 55

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&PID=103596656&#p103596656

Chapter Nineteen Pg 58

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=58&#p104281456

Chapter Twenty Pg 60

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=60&#p104700982

Chapter Twenty-One Pg 63

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&TPN=63&#p104905180

Chapter Twenty-Two Pg 66

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&PID=105816881&#p105816881

                                       Chapter Twenty-Three Pg 71

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3825840&PID=112323382&#p112323382


Edited by najialuv88 - 25 August 2014 at 7:08am

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sham24Gurtianluv.scarlet.wuFiHeartbeat123Ritu-RichaaroraNeetu2825Serena.VReshma4lyfreetnoor89-treesa-SwishCrawleyPrincessAshViksweetmadhuriNazzyx8Syed695-Drama_Queen-LumzzadithyanSnehal21vivkriti-Red-Rose-

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-Red-Rose-

IF-Stunnerz

-Red-Rose-

Joined: 21 March 2013

Posts: 27575

Posted: 26 November 2013 at 9:42am | IP Logged
Wohooo..congratz for your 1st FF!!PartyHug

You are a beautiful writer!!ClapClapStarWritten everything in a a poetic way!!Approve Great!!StarStar
 I could feel everything happening around me!!Smile

Loved your concept and story!Thumbs UpStarStar
Do continue!!Thumbs Up


Edited by -Red-Rose- - 26 November 2013 at 9:48am

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najialuv88SwishCrawley

Ritu-

Coolbie

Ritu-

Joined: 13 December 2010

Posts: 15445

Posted: 26 November 2013 at 10:10am | IP Logged

Lovely FF. Please Continue.PartyClap Its amazing. I hope that Kunal Shraddha and Dhruv are ok and they come out of this bad time soon. ClapHug

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

najialuv88-Red-Rose-

Snehal21

IF-Sizzlerz

Snehal21

Joined: 16 June 2012

Posts: 10703

Posted: 26 November 2013 at 11:34am | IP Logged
Interesting...Great startThumbs Up
hope shraddha..kunal...dhruv are all rightErmm
ContinueTongueSmile

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

najialuv88-Red-Rose-

Lumzz

IF-Sizzlerz

Lumzz

Joined: 23 November 2009

Posts: 10466

Posted: 26 November 2013 at 12:45pm | IP Logged
this is soo good..
i could actually visualise evrything <3
do ctn soon nd really hope the trio are safe nd fine :-)

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

najialuv88-Red-Rose-

wuFi

Senior Member

wuFi

Joined: 05 May 2013

Posts: 291

Posted: 26 November 2013 at 4:26pm | IP Logged
Wow!! you write so beautifully. Clap
loved the start.
Thumbs Up
looking forward to the next part Smile


Edited by wuFi - 26 November 2013 at 4:22pm

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najialuv88-Red-Rose-

Gurtianluv

Senior Member

Gurtianluv

Joined: 27 May 2010

Posts: 744

Posted: 26 November 2013 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by najialuv88

Hi, I have been urged in attempting to write a fanfic although i haven't done so before...after a while i decide what the heck and share it. it might not be good but i would love to hear everyone's feedback if they dont mind and have time. idk if i should continue or not. thank you

~Crashed~

We can't alter our future, without changing our past

 

Intro:

Shraddha and Kunal has been married for the past two and a half  years. Together they are raising Dhruv while balancing their individual careers. Their relationship at one point was nothing but smooth sailing and filled with affection and love until a misunderstanding creates tension and a rift in their relationship. Things cannot go back to being the same when one day, their world is turned upside down. There is only one chance to make things right and its up to Shraddha to put two-to-two together in order to save her family.

 

Prologue

My heart was racing, it wouldn't stop, it wouldn't stop...

The pain was slashing across my brain; the vessel in my temple was throbbing nonstop.

I tried moving but I couldn't, I tried breathing, but it was coming out in painful, sharp breaths.

Something was pressing on my rib-cage and I wasn't sure if it was whiplash from the impact or if it was the death grip the seatbelt had across my upper body.

I tried moving my hands, my arm, but it felt so numb almost as if it wasn't connected to my body.

A terrifying thought arose, what if my hands weren't attached...

But it was stifled once I was able to move my pinky, slightly and then was able to move an index finger and slowly was able to move all my fingers.

I tried to move my hand, but it ran across glass and I could feel as pieces of glass easily sliced through my skin, causing blood to form and instantly causing pain to ripple through my arm.

I tried searching around, trying to figure out where I was and what I was doing there but nothing was forming in my mind and nothing was coming to mind.

I continued to swim in confusion for a few minutes or so until his face...no their faces pierced before my eyes.

KUNAL...DHRUV...

I opened my eyes and tried to twist my head but pain greeted me as it shot down to my spine and causing my body to protest.

I tried to move even more, but it was difficult as I was trying to gain orientation of my surroundings.

After a few brief unsuccessful movements and my vision starting to clear, it was becoming obvious that that I was upside down...

No...WE was upside down.

My mind started to slowly kick into action but my body was having a hard time in catching up.

I tried to get my hands to grip the seat-belt as I twisted my body once again despite my body's protest.

I needed to see if he was okay.

Please let him be okay.

It's my fault, my fault all my fault...

Don't let him...

As soon as I turned around and I caught his face, my heart stopped knocking the breath out of my chest.

My blood seemed to burn as it squeezed painfully through my veins and tears wanted to make its way forward but I had to maintain it, I had to...

Kunal...

 There was a small stream of light coming from one of the light posts that was on the street

His eyes were open and glazed over; staring listlessly in the dark night.

His lips were cut and split from the glass; his face a swollen pulped mess.

His dark brown hair was matted around his forehead due to his sweat and something else I couldn't clearly make out.

His blue dress shirt was covered with blood and glass...HIS blood that was pooling slowly down from his head and his chest.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to grab and touch him, but if I did...if I knew that he really was...

I forced the thought down immediately and then I whipped my head around

Meeting with a nice sharp pain down my neck and spine and nausea to boil from my stomach

Dhruv...

"Dhruv," my voice tried calling out in the dark car, feeling as if my voice wasn't carrying any weight in reaching my son, our son...

"Dhruv" I continued and continued.

Fear took over in my bosom and with little strength, I grappled my seat-beltfighting to claw it off but the belt wouldn't come off.

I continued, in hysterical motions.

"Dhruv."

I continued my movements until I was able to come loose and a quick "dud" was heard when I hit the roof top of the car.

Pain went through my body, my vision blurred, but I wasn't going to stop. I couldn't stop.

"DHRUV" I called, trying to maneuver, to see, to reach the back seat

My heart dropped, the breath was stumped out of me.

 I wanted to grab my hair and rip it out, this wasn't real, this wasn't happening.

His body was slumped and blood was slowly flowing down his neck, where a large piece of glass was lodged in.

His small hands were still holding on tight to his favorite Superman toy that Kunal brought for his ninth birthday

His skin was taking on a dangerous bluish-purple discoloration but his chest was still rising, slightly, struggling for breath.

I tried to move to the seat but couldn't get through. My stomach was preventing me from it, but I couldn't stop and I couldn't think as I tried to get to Dhruv.

But I never made it as a hand ripped open the door, while another hand grabbed my leg and pulled me out away from the car

away from Dhruv ...

away from Kunal...

****************************

Like i said earlier what do you think, should i continue or not? Is it good or not? Idk but everyone's feedback would be nice. thank youTongueSmile


Wow! Your first FF and its great!! I love ur writing style. All so poetic.Thumbs Up.
Ofcourse, u shud definitely continue writing. Don't waste ur talentWink

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

najialuv88-Red-Rose-

najialuv88

IF-Dazzler

najialuv88

Joined: 10 September 2013

Posts: 4886

Posted: 27 November 2013 at 12:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Red-Rose-

Wohooo..congratz for your 1st FF!!PartyHug

You are a beautiful writer!!ClapClapStarWritten everything in a a poetic way!!Approve Great!!StarStar
 I could feel everything happening around me!!Smile

Loved your concept and story!Thumbs UpStarStar
Do continue!!Thumbs Up

Awww...thank youHugWink
I will try to update probably by the end of the week or weekend when i have timeEmbarrassedBig smile

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-Red-Rose-

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