"One word Frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love."Sophocles
- Khushi, Khushi, Khushi - he hissed.
I narrowed my eyes and tried to fight back the sudden retching .
- Harder, Khushi. Come on, f*ck - I clutched the sheet in my hands and bit my lip, trying not to scream. I felt the taste of blood on my tongue and clenched teeth stronger .
- Scream my name , let me hear how you like it. Khuhi - I squeezed my eyes and shook my head. - Scream my name , bitch ! -
A groan tore my chest and I took my arm on my eyes and Shyam's thrusts became more and more strong and violent .
Louder, louder and louder.
- Tell me that you like what I am doing , just tell me little bitch! - I felt the pain tear me , but it was nothing compared to what I felt inside . - Tell me! -
- Sh ... a .. am- I murmured , sinking my nails into my palm. I could feel his thrusts going in and out of me faster and in a violent manner . I felt the walls of my privacy burn .
- S. .. Stop - I moaned quietly, without he could hear me.
Enough, STOP, enough. My mind did nothing to shout it ... silently .
I closed my eyes and clenched my lips as I felt more blood on my tongue . I could feel his every movement inside me , every thrust , every growl , every narrow bruise that every procured .
- I'm coming , bitch - he pushed harder and harder and I did not know it could last for as yet .
I felt a tear escape my control and Shyam noticed. The feeling of fresh tear was replaced by a burning sensation. The strong hand of Shyam hit my cheek . I yelled surprised by the gesture and groans of pain increased.
- You must not cry , do you understand ? YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CRY ! - He shouted and I swallowed and tried to keep back the tears. Just for my own good. Just for your own good ..
I felt my privacy burn more and more and retching increase the moment came. He continued to push until all his seed went out.
He stood up and threw himself on the bed. I got up immediately , grabbing what was left of my shirt .
I ran upstairs and locked the door of my room. I reached the small bathroom in a jiffy and also vomited blood . The vomiting did not seem to want to end . After ten minutes I was able to get up and opened the cold water of the shower. I grabbed the yellow sponge and over half a bottle of bubble bath.
Strong, strong . Stronger.
I started to scratch my skin with the towel, trying to take away all traces . Every little odor.
Stronger.
I could feel my skin burn in contact with the bubble bath. I spent the sponge all over my body, on my lips, on my hair full of his breath .
The contact with the cold water filled the burn on the skin.
With folded hands I picked up a bit of water and brought it to my mouth. I drank in small sips. Then I drank water violently , so much water . I felt it slide down the throat and into the stomach , drop by drop . I wanted the coldness of the water to do the same effect also in me. It cooled off the heart, lungs and everything inside me crying tears of fire.
Only when the knowledge made its way in me, I closed the shower leaving me fall to the ground . I felt the tears cover the cold water on my body.
I was cold but I did not want to feel that warmth on my skin.
The warmth of his hands , his touch , his manhood inside me ...
"One day all this will end " screamed my unconscious . But I was no longer so convinced . I was not at all.
But I was no longer so convinced. I was not at all. But I suffered all this a thousand times, just to make him feel good and, in some ways, close to me. I would rather go to hell rather than viewing him in the arms of someone else ...
I stood up looking for the strength in my legs and went into my room. I didn't look in the mirror and reached the cabinet. I took the first trouser and a shirt pocked and put them on. I plopped down on the bed and grabbed his picture, holding it to my chest.
- Forgive me ... - I sobbed, closing my eyes. - Forgive me if you can-The sobs continued to shake my chest, while my eyes were falling more and more.
I felt the full throat and stomach burn.
The muscles were paining and skin was burning. I fell asleep, probably. But it was a busy sleep. I felt hot, so hot. As if I were in the flames of a burning fire. As if you were burning inside.
But, most likely, it was just what was really going on. I was burning.
I ran the palm of my hand cool down my belly. I could feel the ripples in contact with skin. I saw the girl's face reflected in the mirror. I did not know , I was totally foreign to her. Her eyes were no longer amber but black . Her cheeks were full of bruises and scratches and no longer pale with pink undertones . Her eyes were puffy , like the lower lip. Two circles because of last night sleepless , or better say because of nightmares.
I refrained from damage even my hand with a fist in the glass and I moved to look out the window , across the room .
It was raining ... Once again it was raining heavily . Once again I could hear the sound of drops falling on the roof without feeling any emotion, as opposed to going on a while.
My hand continued to caress the scratches made violently with the sponge night before. My eyes continued to be reflected in the mirror and look at the color purple around them because of the slaps and fatigue .
Pain ...
I was tired of feeling pain . Tired of this constant suffering and that this life was not worth all the effort to deal with. What then would have been wrong to put the end to this life ?
I would not have suffered and for him nothing would change or most probably things would improve.
But you really want to give this satisfaction to all those people , Khushi?
It was no longer a matter of personal satisfaction , because the law was simply disgusting . Law would not be interested in my situation , law would never have looked for ways in which I went ahead and send him forward.
The important thing was to get money, money, money.
Always and only dirty money.
Money tinted with blood and violence. Money torn from the heart and from the depths of any person under torture. Money that smelled of alcohol and even drugs.
Money that I got after working hard and from tears. But nobody was interested in this ... No one ...
I squeezed the handle of the knife in my hands . I gritted my teeth and eyes, while two tears rolled down my cheek . I dug my nails into the palm of the hand and patted my belly no longer with the hand, but with the cutter. A sleazy way to leave this world , but still worthy of the life I was leading .
I looked up captured by a not very familiar noise coming from outside. Here you could hear only screams.
I looked out the window and found myself in front of the door of the house , a black SUV. .. I focused the figure that was about to press the doorbell and I snapped towards the door to go down .
And as I ran up the stairs I heard the doorbell ring .
Shit!
- Who the f**k is it now? ! - I heard the voice of Shyam cracked , a sign that he had been drinking . - KHUSHI OPEN THE DOOR ! - He screamed like a dog, but I was already at the door.
I opened the lock and lost my breathe when I saw the man in front of me . Arnav ji.
- Khushi ... - I swallowed and shook my lip, trying not to cry . - W. .. Wha .. What are you doing here ? - I asked him shivering.
- Yesterday I followed you and saw that you came here . H. . I found your book in a puddle and .. I thought I'd bring back to you so that you can read it - I brought a hand to my chest , feeling my pulse increase.
- Oh ... - I let out .
- Khushi! Who is it? - I heard the screams of Shyam from the living room , while the volume of television made it nearly impossible to understand what he was saying . I turned to look at Arnav and his eyes widened .
He reached his hand on my face and touched my face slightly with his fingers.
- W. .. What you've done to your face ? And your lip ? You need some stiches, Khushi -
- Arnav ji ... go away- I whispered , stepping away from his hand. My skin burned immediately when I felt the lack of that contact.
- W. .. what? -
- You have to go away , I beg you - I heard footsteps approaching and began to tremble.
- Why ? Mean ... do I bother you ? I do not understand , I did some -
- Arnav ji, you must go on! Please leave ! - I felt my eyes fill with tears and one escaped from my control.
- So .. - - Who is it? - Shyam's voice behind me made me jump . I wiped the tears with the back , making sure that he does not see it.
- He ... is the postman- I whispered , looking at Arnav in the eye . - Well , what the f**k do you want? - Shyam took a step forward. I squeezed my lips again and begged Arnav with eyes.
- I have to give this book to the young lady -replied Arnav decided . I began to breathe with difficulty and felt my heart beat harder and harder against my hand , resting on my chest.
- Book ? Who sent it to her ? - Shyam asked and I swallowed .
- The school library is conducting a sale and is also considering its alumni - He said and I closed my eyes and nodded.
- Mh , I agree. Well, Khushi. What are you waiting ? Get the book and close the door . I'm going to watch the game - he gestured with his hand and went back inside..
- T. .. thanks - I murmured as I felt more tears fall. - Thanks, really - - He is your boyfriend? - His voice was stinging. I bit my lip and felt pain in contact with the edge . My tongue bathed again of that red liquid with a flavor of iron and salt.
- Yes .. - I said, looking down. - Okay. Well , then ... excuse the trouble - he handed me the book and I looked up to see his face. - But .. - - Take it anyway. Now belongs it to you - I grabbed it and hugged it to my chest. - Thank you, Arnav ji . - - Goodbye, Khushi -
He turned and head for his black SUV . He run away , leaving a chill on my skin. Leaving a sense of emptiness.
- I'll be back tomorrow afternoon. At home, my presence is needed ! - I nodded , tightening my lips. - Do not do anything , stay here and not go out even drying clothes - I nodded again.
Shyam was called by his father to a family emergency . Initially, he started to scream using language not exactly suited to the social class to which he belonged, but then, surrendering , he had accepted as a good son.
- You may also respond , you know ! The tongue , in addition to use it for some purposes , you may also use it to talk - I refrained from spitting in his face.
- Yes, Shyam ! Where do you think I'll go? ! The snow does not evict anyone from home and all the shops are closed , including the shop where I work. I'm not going to go work ! -
- Perfect ! - He grabbed his jacket and smoked the last cigarette before starting his journey to reach his parents.
- If I find out you've done something, I'll make you suffer the torments of hell - I swallowed . He took his cell phone and keys and opened the door.
- Shyam ? - I called him and he turned around.
- What do you want? -
- Y. .. you can see how is him ? Send him my regards in case ... - I whispered , hearing the voice tilt.
- I'll see how he is. I'm doing a great pleasure to you! I will send my mother to check - he snapped.
- Please, I beg you . Send him my regards and tell him that I love him. Please Shyam ... - I looked at me and paused on his eyes .
- Okay, but you will need to return to my reward - He looked mischievous running his tongue over his lips and I felt a knot in my stomach close .
- I'm giving it all now - I whispered , his gaze sharpening .
- You were the one to accept, treasure - He breathed close to my lips . I went further , narrowing my eyes.
- You do not you give me no choice - I said staring at him in the eye . He smiled.
- I can say I did a good deal. Now I'm going or I'll be late . I'll see you tomorrow night , sugar - I bit my lip and he went out .
I ran straight to the bathroom and threw up . I could feel the sweat running down my temples and my hair plastered to my forehead. The sour taste in the mouth and forces come to me less . As soon as I raised my head a new effort struck me , until I began to spit only . The stomach was burning. I put my hand on the toilet and took the small and fast breaths , hoping to calm down. I reached for the sink and opened the cold water.
Another breath Khushi , still another .
The droplets of cold water slid down my back , making me shiver . I get into the shower and turned on the cold water stream . Water my hair and clothes , closing my eyes and I breathed deeply .
Another breath Khushi , only one more ..
Pizza or Chinese food ? Mhh .. It was about ten minutes trying to decide who to call. The pizza or the Chinese ? I had always liked both. Usually I'm doing a quick sandwich or a salad, and then run into the room. But now I was alone with the TV available, the house clean, the shower just done, the hair smelled of musk and pop horns ready in a bowl formed four people. I was already on the couch - covered with a sheet - with the phone in my hand waiting for my decision .
Mh ... Chinese cuisine attracted me but I liked the pizza.
I ordered a pizza with mashed potatoes and sausage. While waiting for the pizza , I started to zap looking for so mething decent to watch. . An old episode of " One Tree Hill" occupied the screen and I concentrated on that . I jumped when I heard the doorbell ring and I rushed out with the wallet in hand . I was wearing a gray tracksuit trousers , a white shirt with a few holes on the sides and bare feet .
I ran a hand through my hair and opened the door.
- I also like the pizza with mashed potatoes, but I prefer it with the peppers to be honest - I felt ice from head to toe and heart rate skyrocket .
- Y. . you ? - I stammered , taking a step backwards.
- Me- He replied firmly. - Can I come in? -
- W. . What are you doing here ? -
- You're implying that I can not get in? -
- Yes, no, that is .. why did you come ? -
- I was out for errands here this afternoon when I saw your boyfriend to go out in a suit and tie and I thought maybe you were alone here - He said.
- You spied me ? - - Nah , I was out doing errands-
- And if he were here now ? -I asked
- I'll tell him I'm a postman by day and in the evening I'm a delivery pizza boy - He replied bacl and I smiled and shook my head .
- Come in, then - I told him
- Then he is not here ? - he asked.
- No, Arnav ji . There is only you now .. - he crossed the threshold, closing the door behind him.
OMG who the f**k is Shyam! N why the f**k khushi is baring all this :'( love this Arnav already<3 I feel he will know n help khushi next<3 OMG run khushi run;(
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