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The Yummy Mummy's of QH: Topic Six 01.07.14 - Pg 82 (Page 75)

BeYourself IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 10 June 2014 at 10:51pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by BeYourself

So many of you have shared your personal experiences, so i thought of doing mine too...it isn't anything about me, but about one of my cousins...

We are from a non conservative family, yet my sister chose to have an arranged marriage coz love didn't happen to her... But she got married to the person whom she knew since many years and was chosen by her parents...

They got married and had their best time in their 2 months long honeymoon in abroad...

They came back and my sister found out about her husband's affair when she was trying her best to get used to her new lifestyle...

She didn't act like a typical wife,instead, she chose to question him directly...
and he, like a 'satyapujari', agreed that he was having an affair...

it was just 2 and a half months to their marriage when my sister got that blow...

she found out that he was attracted to this girl since before their marriage, but it all kick started after they were back from honeymoon..

she decided to talk about it with her in laws... guess what they said: "aaj kal ke ladke aisa karte hai.. thoda adjust kar lo"

my sister is 'aaj kal ki ladki' too...but this type of cheating in marriages has nothing to do with 'aaj' or 'kal'... time might have changed, but the things on which marriages are based on didn't!!!


she still decided to go for a second chance..she didn't shout, didn't over react... she asked him to break all his ties with that woman..but he was not ready to do that...
so the option of second chance did not exist anymore..


she asked him to say the truth... she asked him if he could ever be faithful to their marriage.. he said he was faithful even now..he has no plans to leave my sister..but he can't leave that woman too...
in marriages speaking the truth is important...here, he did speak the truth...


she still had hope... she asked him if those 2 months had any importance to him or not.. he said they were the loveliest days of his life till now.. my sister had more hope then...she again went back to the second chance thing... but his answer did not change...

trust me, if he would have agreed to give this a change again, she would have happily forgiven him.. and it would be easier too as the newness in their marriage was her best weapon...


she called up her dad when her repetitive efforts were a constant failure..the jerk was ready for a divorce, as he claimed that it was for my sister's happiness...
she didn't say anything more.. and just left...


those two months were supposed to be the best days of her life too... she was already in love with him, and thought that he was too, which he never denied by the way...

she was mentally, emotionally and physically attached to him..and now she feels like she was nothing more than a commodity in his life...


where was her fault in all this?? her husband was honest to her but honesty didn't come into play when it was about their sacred bond... he did accept that he was cheating on her...but did that help her in any way?? may be yes.. she doesn't believe in marriages any more... she is the only child of her parents... and her parents feel extremely guilty for ruining her life, which i believe was not their fault...


so ya... sometimes infidelity in marriages can break your partner beyond repair...it's harmless if it is only attraction...

so why did he get married?? because of the dowry that he would get in the wedding?? No... there was no dowry thing.. we are strictly against it...
then why did he do this?? his answer is still the same: No Answer at all!!!!

bloody *beep beep* jerk!!




This is a real sad story Cry
I am feeling so bad for your cousin ... What did that jacka** get out this?
Why did he ruin her life.
These stupid guys ... can't open their mouth in front of their parents and get marry under pressure.
I am sure his parents must be aware of his affair already Angry

I hope your cousin find someone who loves her dearly and once again make her believe in the sacred bond of marriage.


The situation completely implies that his parents definitely knew about it...
but just imagine their reaction to all this!!!

we still don't know what did he get from all this?
and there is no point in finding it out too..

my sister didn't beg in front of him and neither did she take alimony...

she is trying to start her new life again.. 
but people you know... they have nothing to do with us, yet they still point out that she must have been at fault somewhere...
otherwise why would a guy do such a thing just after 2 months of their marriage???

and now, she is hell determined to not get married again...she doesn't believe in marriages now...why would she?? life did nothing to make her believe in it...

so here it is... only she is the sufferer in all this!!! 



Edited by BeYourself - 10 June 2014 at 10:51pm

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vinita459Linsie

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Posts: 3976

Posted: 10 June 2014 at 11:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by BeYourself

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by BeYourself

So many of you have shared your personal experiences, so i thought of doing mine too...it isn't anything about me, but about one of my cousins...

We are from a non conservative family, yet my sister chose to have an arranged marriage coz love didn't happen to her... But she got married to the person whom she knew since many years and was chosen by her parents...

They got married and had their best time in their 2 months long honeymoon in abroad...

They came back and my sister found out about her husband's affair when she was trying her best to get used to her new lifestyle...

She didn't act like a typical wife,instead, she chose to question him directly...
and he, like a 'satyapujari', agreed that he was having an affair...

it was just 2 and a half months to their marriage when my sister got that blow...

she found out that he was attracted to this girl since before their marriage, but it all kick started after they were back from honeymoon..

she decided to talk about it with her in laws... guess what they said: "aaj kal ke ladke aisa karte hai.. thoda adjust kar lo"

my sister is 'aaj kal ki ladki' too...but this type of cheating in marriages has nothing to do with 'aaj' or 'kal'... time might have changed, but the things on which marriages are based on didn't!!!


she still decided to go for a second chance..she didn't shout, didn't over react... she asked him to break all his ties with that woman..but he was not ready to do that...
so the option of second chance did not exist anymore..


she asked him to say the truth... she asked him if he could ever be faithful to their marriage.. he said he was faithful even now..he has no plans to leave my sister..but he can't leave that woman too...
in marriages speaking the truth is important...here, he did speak the truth...


she still had hope... she asked him if those 2 months had any importance to him or not.. he said they were the loveliest days of his life till now.. my sister had more hope then...she again went back to the second chance thing... but his answer did not change...

trust me, if he would have agreed to give this a change again, she would have happily forgiven him.. and it would be easier too as the newness in their marriage was her best weapon...


she called up her dad when her repetitive efforts were a constant failure..the jerk was ready for a divorce, as he claimed that it was for my sister's happiness...
she didn't say anything more.. and just left...


those two months were supposed to be the best days of her life too... she was already in love with him, and thought that he was too, which he never denied by the way...

she was mentally, emotionally and physically attached to him..and now she feels like she was nothing more than a commodity in his life...


where was her fault in all this?? her husband was honest to her but honesty didn't come into play when it was about their sacred bond... he did accept that he was cheating on her...but did that help her in any way?? may be yes.. she doesn't believe in marriages any more... she is the only child of her parents... and her parents feel extremely guilty for ruining her life, which i believe was not their fault...


so ya... sometimes infidelity in marriages can break your partner beyond repair...it's harmless if it is only attraction...

so why did he get married?? because of the dowry that he would get in the wedding?? No... there was no dowry thing.. we are strictly against it...
then why did he do this?? his answer is still the same: No Answer at all!!!!

bloody *beep beep* jerk!!




This is a real sad story Cry
I am feeling so bad for your cousin ... What did that jacka** get out this?
Why did he ruin her life.
These stupid guys ... can't open their mouth in front of their parents and get marry under pressure.
I am sure his parents must be aware of his affair already Angry

I hope your cousin find someone who loves her dearly and once again make her believe in the sacred bond of marriage.



The situation completely implies that his parents definitely knew about it...
but just imagine their reaction to all this!!!

we still don't know what did he get from all this?
and there is no point in finding it out too..

my sister didn't beg in front of him and neither did she take alimony...

she is trying to start her new life again..
but people you know... they have nothing to do with us, yet they still point out that she must have been at fault somewhere...
otherwise why would a guy do such a thing just after 2 months of their marriage???

and now, she is hell determined to not get married again...she doesn't believe in marriages now...why would she?? life did nothing to make her believe in it...

so here it is... only she is the sufferer in all this!!!




Terrible incident.
I would not have given him next chance once he said he couldn't leave the other woman.

Its sad Indian Society is such.
I wish the jerk rots in hell.
N suffers from erectile dysfunction for the rest of his life.
Ass hole.

Your cousin is strong..time heals it all.
It's not easy but she might just be in a better place.
At least she is out of his house.
N his parents god really they knew.

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

BeYourselfLinsie

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Joined: 24 November 2013
Posts: 23373

Posted: 10 June 2014 at 11:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Perfectionist2

Originally posted by BeYourself

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by BeYourself

So many of you have shared your personal experiences, so i thought of doing mine too...it isn't anything about me, but about one of my cousins...

We are from a non conservative family, yet my sister chose to have an arranged marriage coz love didn't happen to her... But she got married to the person whom she knew since many years and was chosen by her parents...

They got married and had their best time in their 2 months long honeymoon in abroad...

They came back and my sister found out about her husband's affair when she was trying her best to get used to her new lifestyle...

She didn't act like a typical wife,instead, she chose to question him directly...
and he, like a 'satyapujari', agreed that he was having an affair...

it was just 2 and a half months to their marriage when my sister got that blow...

she found out that he was attracted to this girl since before their marriage, but it all kick started after they were back from honeymoon..

she decided to talk about it with her in laws... guess what they said: "aaj kal ke ladke aisa karte hai.. thoda adjust kar lo"

my sister is 'aaj kal ki ladki' too...but this type of cheating in marriages has nothing to do with 'aaj' or 'kal'... time might have changed, but the things on which marriages are based on didn't!!!


she still decided to go for a second chance..she didn't shout, didn't over react... she asked him to break all his ties with that woman..but he was not ready to do that...
so the option of second chance did not exist anymore..


she asked him to say the truth... she asked him if he could ever be faithful to their marriage.. he said he was faithful even now..he has no plans to leave my sister..but he can't leave that woman too...
in marriages speaking the truth is important...here, he did speak the truth...


she still had hope... she asked him if those 2 months had any importance to him or not.. he said they were the loveliest days of his life till now.. my sister had more hope then...she again went back to the second chance thing... but his answer did not change...

trust me, if he would have agreed to give this a change again, she would have happily forgiven him.. and it would be easier too as the newness in their marriage was her best weapon...


she called up her dad when her repetitive efforts were a constant failure..the jerk was ready for a divorce, as he claimed that it was for my sister's happiness...
she didn't say anything more.. and just left...


those two months were supposed to be the best days of her life too... she was already in love with him, and thought that he was too, which he never denied by the way...

she was mentally, emotionally and physically attached to him..and now she feels like she was nothing more than a commodity in his life...


where was her fault in all this?? her husband was honest to her but honesty didn't come into play when it was about their sacred bond... he did accept that he was cheating on her...but did that help her in any way?? may be yes.. she doesn't believe in marriages any more... she is the only child of her parents... and her parents feel extremely guilty for ruining her life, which i believe was not their fault...


so ya... sometimes infidelity in marriages can break your partner beyond repair...it's harmless if it is only attraction...

so why did he get married?? because of the dowry that he would get in the wedding?? No... there was no dowry thing.. we are strictly against it...
then why did he do this?? his answer is still the same: No Answer at all!!!!

bloody *beep beep* jerk!!




This is a real sad story Cry
I am feeling so bad for your cousin ... What did that jacka** get out this?
Why did he ruin her life.
These stupid guys ... can't open their mouth in front of their parents and get marry under pressure.
I am sure his parents must be aware of his affair already Angry

I hope your cousin find someone who loves her dearly and once again make her believe in the sacred bond of marriage.



The situation completely implies that his parents definitely knew about it...
but just imagine their reaction to all this!!!

we still don't know what did he get from all this?
and there is no point in finding it out too..

my sister didn't beg in front of him and neither did she take alimony...

she is trying to start her new life again..
but people you know... they have nothing to do with us, yet they still point out that she must have been at fault somewhere...
otherwise why would a guy do such a thing just after 2 months of their marriage???

and now, she is hell determined to not get married again...she doesn't believe in marriages now...why would she?? life did nothing to make her believe in it...

so here it is... only she is the sufferer in all this!!!




Terrible incident.
I would not have given him next chance once he said he couldn't leave the other woman.

Its sad Indian Society is such.
I wish the jerk rots in hell.
N suffers from erectile dysfunction for the rest of his life.
Ass hole.

Your cousin is strong..time heals it all.
It's not easy but she might just be in a better place.
At least she is out of his house.
N his parents god really they knew.

this is just one such incident in our society...
i believe there must be MANY!!!

even if that asshole rots in hell, will it change anything?? No.. nothing!!!

she is out of that hell, just to be in a new hell...
thanks to our society again...

in my family itself, my Bua's husband denied the baby in her womb being his!! 
Hence, a divorce again...

so here it is.. once again, cheating in a different form...

and both the guys were Highly Qualified by the way...

We often say, Education makes a difference.. here, it didn't!!! 





Edited by BeYourself - 10 June 2014 at 11:08pm

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

vinita459Linsie

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Joined: 29 April 2013
Posts: 8345

Posted: 10 June 2014 at 11:37pm | IP Logged
It's a sad sad situation...



And it's getting more and more absurd.



It's sad (so sad)


Why can't we talk it over.

Oh (all) it seems to me...


That sorry seems to be the hardest word.




Courtesy Blue & Elton John

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

vinita459BeYourselfLinsie

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Joined: 12 March 2013
Posts: 3976

Posted: 10 June 2014 at 11:56pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by farz_parachute

It's a sad sad situation...



And it's getting more and more absurd.



It's sad (so sad)


Why can't we talk it over.

Oh (all) it seems to me...


That sorry seems to be the hardest word.




Courtesy Blue & Elton John


But sorry doesn't fix anything here.
N I have no answer to this kind of cheating.

Is there nothing called conscience.

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vinita459BeYourselfLinsie

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Joined: 06 July 2005
Posts: 1927

Posted: 10 June 2014 at 11:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by BeYourself

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by BeYourself

So many of you have shared your personal experiences, so i thought of doing mine too...it isn't anything about me, but about one of my cousins...

We are from a non conservative family, yet my sister chose to have an arranged marriage coz love didn't happen to her... But she got married to the person whom she knew since many years and was chosen by her parents...

They got married and had their best time in their 2 months long honeymoon in abroad...

They came back and my sister found out about her husband's affair when she was trying her best to get used to her new lifestyle...

She didn't act like a typical wife,instead, she chose to question him directly...
and he, like a 'satyapujari', agreed that he was having an affair...

it was just 2 and a half months to their marriage when my sister got that blow...

she found out that he was attracted to this girl since before their marriage, but it all kick started after they were back from honeymoon..

she decided to talk about it with her in laws... guess what they said: "aaj kal ke ladke aisa karte hai.. thoda adjust kar lo"

my sister is 'aaj kal ki ladki' too...but this type of cheating in marriages has nothing to do with 'aaj' or 'kal'... time might have changed, but the things on which marriages are based on didn't!!!


she still decided to go for a second chance..she didn't shout, didn't over react... she asked him to break all his ties with that woman..but he was not ready to do that...
so the option of second chance did not exist anymore..


she asked him to say the truth... she asked him if he could ever be faithful to their marriage.. he said he was faithful even now..he has no plans to leave my sister..but he can't leave that woman too...
in marriages speaking the truth is important...here, he did speak the truth...


she still had hope... she asked him if those 2 months had any importance to him or not.. he said they were the loveliest days of his life till now.. my sister had more hope then...she again went back to the second chance thing... but his answer did not change...

trust me, if he would have agreed to give this a change again, she would have happily forgiven him.. and it would be easier too as the newness in their marriage was her best weapon...


she called up her dad when her repetitive efforts were a constant failure..the jerk was ready for a divorce, as he claimed that it was for my sister's happiness...
she didn't say anything more.. and just left...


those two months were supposed to be the best days of her life too... she was already in love with him, and thought that he was too, which he never denied by the way...

she was mentally, emotionally and physically attached to him..and now she feels like she was nothing more than a commodity in his life...


where was her fault in all this?? her husband was honest to her but honesty didn't come into play when it was about their sacred bond... he did accept that he was cheating on her...but did that help her in any way?? may be yes.. she doesn't believe in marriages any more... she is the only child of her parents... and her parents feel extremely guilty for ruining her life, which i believe was not their fault...


so ya... sometimes infidelity in marriages can break your partner beyond repair...it's harmless if it is only attraction...

so why did he get married?? because of the dowry that he would get in the wedding?? No... there was no dowry thing.. we are strictly against it...
then why did he do this?? his answer is still the same: No Answer at all!!!!

bloody *beep beep* jerk!!




This is a real sad story Cry
I am feeling so bad for your cousin ... What did that jacka** get out this?
Why did he ruin her life.
These stupid guys ... can't open their mouth in front of their parents and get marry under pressure.
I am sure his parents must be aware of his affair already Angry

I hope your cousin find someone who loves her dearly and once again make her believe in the sacred bond of marriage.



The situation completely implies that his parents definitely knew about it...
but just imagine their reaction to all this!!!

we still don't know what did he get from all this?
and there is no point in finding it out too..

my sister didn't beg in front of him and neither did she take alimony...

she is trying to start her new life again..
but people you know... they have nothing to do with us, yet they still point out that she must have been at fault somewhere...
otherwise why would a guy do such a thing just after 2 months of their marriage???

and now, she is hell determined to not get married again...she doesn't believe in marriages now...why would she?? life did nothing to make her believe in it...

so here it is... only she is the sufferer in all this!!!




I know exactly what do you mean :(
You can't stop people from talking.
And it makes it more hard.
If the marriage didn't work ...it must be girl's fault ...no one blames the guy Angry
Don'y you just hate this hypocrite society Angry

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Perfectionist2BeYourselfLinsie

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Joined: 29 April 2013
Posts: 8345

Posted: 11 June 2014 at 12:36am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Perfectionist2

Originally posted by farz_parachute

It's a sad sad situation...



And it's getting more and more absurd.



It's sad (so sad)



Why can't we talk it over.

Oh (all) it seems to me...


That sorry seems to be the hardest word.




Courtesy Blue & Elton John


But sorry doesn't fix anything here.
N I have no answer to this kind of cheating.

Is there nothing called conscience.




Sorry can be quite powerful if sincere.


But. True. It doesn't fix anything.



Damn it dude!



Why ruin a girl's life!


And the audacity??!!!!


Men will be men??? What sort of a justification us that????!!!



Men take responsibility. Men provide. Men stay loyal. Man keep their wife happy (intended the singular here, don't want it to be misconstrued)


This is a man. So men will be men should only be used when it is to show the above qualities.



I was thinking if arrange marriage. My man is still lost. And I'm horrible with directions and navigation and maps, so no help from me there...but now. Gotta rethink options.


You sure none of you peoples' boys available?

At least i he goes around cheating I'll have you to deal with him...


Hmmm.



Juliet! I had a whole day to think over your story...and I've made up my mind. You saved the marriage.


Not coz you didn't act on anything, or you refrained. It's coz you knew all along that you're secure in your marriage. You'd never go down that road. And if knew before, he is sure of it now. And you may be right...it could have been erased from his memory this incident.



And I'm sure you're beautiful, so very that it requires no telling.



Oh I honestly thought I'd have nothing to say on this topic.


Look what you people did to me!



Mwahhh

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vinita459rajsmiPerfectionist2BeYourselfLinsie

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Joined: 24 November 2013
Posts: 23373

Posted: 11 June 2014 at 7:15am | IP Logged
Originally posted by farz_parachute

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

Originally posted by farz_parachute

It's a sad sad situation...



And it's getting more and more absurd.



It's sad (so sad)



Why can't we talk it over.

Oh (all) it seems to me...


That sorry seems to be the hardest word.




Courtesy Blue & Elton John


But sorry doesn't fix anything here.
N I have no answer to this kind of cheating.

Is there nothing called conscience.




Sorry can be quite powerful if sincere.


But. True. It doesn't fix anything.



Damn it dude!



Why ruin a girl's life!


And the audacity??!!!!


Men will be men??? What sort of a justification us that????!!!



Men take responsibility. Men provide. Men stay loyal. Man keep their wife happy (intended the singular here, don't want it to be misconstrued)


This is a man. So men will be men should only be used when it is to show the above qualities.



I was thinking if arrange marriage. My man is still lost. And I'm horrible with directions and navigation and maps, so no help from me there...but now. Gotta rethink options.


You sure none of you peoples' boys available?

At least i he goes around cheating I'll have you to deal with him...


Hmmm.



Juliet! I had a whole day to think over your story...and I've made up my mind. You saved the marriage.


Not coz you didn't act on anything, or you refrained. It's coz you knew all along that you're secure in your marriage. You'd never go down that road. And if knew before, he is sure of it now. And you may be right...it could have been erased from his memory this incident.



And I'm sure you're beautiful, so very that it requires no telling.



Oh I honestly thought I'd have nothing to say on this topic.


Look what you people did to me!



Mwahhh


i believe there was nothing called conscience...
otherwise he would have not done what he did...

i always keep respect over love...

even if one is out of love in a relationship, the respect for his/her partner will make him/her think at least 100 times before doing such a thing!!

i believe, that man didn't have any respect for my sister...
so it was kinda easier for him...

and farz...

arranged or love... it's all the same if your partner does such a thing...

nobody gives them that power, they get it themselves.. you know why? because girls like my sister start trusting and loving them...



and for Juliet, what you did was not cheating, according to me...
you respect your relation with your husband.. and you love him too... you never intended to harm your marriage..

attractions are very much normal... and acceptable too, if they aren't harmful...
your's wasn't...

but some men/women do not even think like that...

it was better that my sister did not have a child yet... if she would have... then that would have been a disaster...not that it is not now...but still...


my Bua had to go through that...
she lost her first child in a miscarriage.. and the second one was disowned by her husband...

the case was going strong against her husband, and that thing suddenly brought out his fatherly love for his unborn child... so he wanted to set things right..

but...

without his wife.. he wanted only the child...
that wasn't happening!!

so now, when the child is already 10 years old  now and is staying with her mother, my Bua at last won the case recently...

but this incident of cheating, left the child in a very much broken state!!!

so my opinion is, think before you do something.. you have no right to ruin a person's life.. specially if it is your legally wedded wife/husband!! 


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