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The Yummy Mummy's of QH: Topic Six 01.07.14 - Pg 82 (Page 71)

Tamara27 IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 4640

Posted: 08 June 2014 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by farz_parachute

Originally posted by Tamara27

New Topic!


Every Monday!


You bored with this one!Hehe!




Or wait.


You bored with...me?

Farz, you could never bore me!
I just had too much to say on this topic :)

Now I shall give my measly 2c worth on today's topic, tomorrow once I've had a good sleep.


Edited by Tamara27 - 08 June 2014 at 12:59pm

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Posted: 09 June 2014 at 4:02am | IP Logged
"is it possible to move past the betrayal and stay in a happy marriage??"

Once again, another great topic to bother my grey cells!! Wink


i don't know about how it is to be in a bond of marriage, because i am an unmarried girl of 22... but i have seen the world too... if not so much like others, but i did!!


Infidelity in any form in a marriage is not something to be forgiven... it may be repaired for the moment, but it leaves a deep scar, which is impossible to mend...


in such cases, often the children are sufferers too...and however small the kid might be, it affects him/her beyond repair...


and yes... past the betrayal, even if there is something left to stay in a happy marriage, there still remains the seed of doubt that was once sowed!!  


Edited by BeYourself - 09 June 2014 at 4:03am

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Tamara27 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 09 June 2014 at 7:26am | IP Logged
Here goes my measly 2c worth... LOL
Speaking strictly for myself, I would have to say that these kinds of things arent black and white.
If my hubby had to cheat, and it was a one time thing, never to occur again, and I was absolutely sure of his love... I would forgive. 

Obviously, if it wasn't a one time thing, and he had fallen in love, there would be no point of forgiveness. 

Perhaps it is easy for me to say this, because I'm secure in the knowledge that my husband loves me and because I would bet my life on him never cheating.

But at the end of the day, it takes two to make a marriage work and one person isn't always to blame for the breakup of a marriage either. Sometimes...

But both men and women do cheat. It happens. Goodness knows for what reason... I guess each to their own. As difficult as forgiveness may seem, it wouldn't be impossible. For me, I think the difficult bit would be forgetting. I doubt that forgetting will happen easily and then from  forgiveness the hard work will have to start at making things right again. I can't imagine it would be easy but I also would like to think it isn't impossible.

I'm not judging anyone that chooses to forgive or not forgive. I guess you would only know your reaction if something like this ever happens. I've not been in this position myself, so perhaps that's why it is easy for me to say all of this. 

Staying in an unhappy marriage isn't great for anyone involved. So we all must do what we have to. 

To each their own, I guess.

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Posted: 09 June 2014 at 7:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Tamara27

Here goes my measly 2c worth... LOL
Speaking strictly for myself, I would have to say that these kinds of things arent black and white.
If my hubby had to cheat, and it was a one time thing, never to occur again, and I was absolutely sure of his love... I would forgive. 

Obviously, if it wasn't a one time thing, and he had fallen in love, there would be no point of forgiveness. 

Perhaps it is easy for me to say this, because I'm secure in the knowledge that my husband loves me and because I would bet my life on him never cheating.

But at the end of the day, it takes two to make a marriage work and one person isn't always to blame for the breakup of a marriage either. Sometimes...

But both men and women do cheat. It happens. Goodness knows for what reason... I guess each to their own. As difficult as forgiveness may seem, it wouldn't be impossible. For me, I think the difficult bit would be forgetting. I doubt that forgetting will happen easily and then from  forgiveness the hard work will have to start at making things right again. I can't imagine it would be easy but I also would like to think it isn't impossible.

I'm not judging anyone that chooses to forgive or not forgive. I guess you would only know your reaction if something like this ever happens. I've not been in this position myself, so perhaps that's why it is easy for me to say all of this. 

Staying in an unhappy marriage isn't great for anyone involved. So we all must do what we have to. 

To each their own, I guess.

i agree... it wouldn't be as difficult a task to forgive..but again, as you said, forgetting it will be the most difficult part of it...

and i can bet on it that a woman will never ever forget that!!!

she might not be showing it, but  that pain will always remain with her.. 



Edited by BeYourself - 09 June 2014 at 7:30am

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Posted: 09 June 2014 at 7:40am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Tamara27

Originally posted by farz_parachute

Originally posted by Tamara27

New Topic!


Every Monday!


You bored with this one!Hehe!




Or wait.


You bored with...me?


Farz, you could never bore me!
I just had too much to say on this topic :)

Now I shall give my measly 2c worth on today's topic, tomorrow once I've had a good sleep.



For 2c...you're taking an awful lot if time!


Not that I think that's the worth. Here there's no more 1 cent coin.

The smallest is five!



So measly or not. I want my 5c worth.


What? The price has gone up?


To the largest bill?



Fine. Here's 100. Equivalent to at least 35USD.


Yeah. Quit smiling start typing.




I like the name Tamara. Tak Marah. Not Angry.


I'll shut up now.


Oh but before that.



Coming to my 5c. It's a question. *as if you can expect anything else from me*



Does it matter if he comes clean, and he wasn't caught?


*feeling very mature and intelligent*

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Posted: 09 June 2014 at 7:41am | IP Logged
I missed you by few minutes.


Damn.



This is embarrassing.



*off to go read your 2c*

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Posts: 8345

Posted: 09 June 2014 at 7:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Tamara27



Speaking strictly for myself, I would have to say that these kinds of things arent black and white.

If my hubby had to cheat, and it was a one time thing, never to occur again, and I was absolutely sure of his love... I would forgive.



What constitutes cheating?






Edited by farz_parachute - 09 June 2014 at 7:44am

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Posted: 09 June 2014 at 7:48am | IP Logged
Originally posted by BeYourself

Originally posted by Tamara27

Here goes my measly 2c worth... LOL
Speaking strictly for myself, I would have to say that these kinds of things arent black and white.
If my hubby had to cheat, and it was a one time thing, never to occur again, and I was absolutely sure of his love... I would forgive. 

Obviously, if it wasn't a one time thing, and he had fallen in love, there would be no point of forgiveness. 

Perhaps it is easy for me to say this, because I'm secure in the knowledge that my husband loves me and because I would bet my life on him never cheating.

But at the end of the day, it takes two to make a marriage work and one person isn't always to blame for the breakup of a marriage either. Sometimes...

But both men and women do cheat. It happens. Goodness knows for what reason... I guess each to their own. As difficult as forgiveness may seem, it wouldn't be impossible. For me, I think the difficult bit would be forgetting. I doubt that forgetting will happen easily and then from  forgiveness the hard work will have to start at making things right again. I can't imagine it would be easy but I also would like to think it isn't impossible.

I'm not judging anyone that chooses to forgive or not forgive. I guess you would only know your reaction if something like this ever happens. I've not been in this position myself, so perhaps that's why it is easy for me to say all of this. 

Staying in an unhappy marriage isn't great for anyone involved. So we all must do what we have to. 

To each their own, I guess.

i agree... it wouldn't be as difficult a task to forgive..but again, as you said, forgetting it will be the most difficult part of it...

and i can bet on it that a woman will never ever forget that!!!

she might not be showing it, but  that pain will always remain with her.. 


Yes, I think you may be right about the pain always being there, but part of trying to make it work will have to mean making a fresh start. Like I said, I've never been through this, so I guess I don't have enough insight. I only know what I think I woukd do, if it were to happen.

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