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The Yummy Mummy's of QH: Topic Six 01.07.14 - Pg 82 (Page 69)

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Posted: 08 June 2014 at 7:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Saima-Syed

Hey

I am away for less than 24 hours and look what I have missed.

Firstly I would like to thank all of you for taking part, you guys have shared a lot of personal experiences, something that is not always easy to do.

I wasn't sure which direction the topic would go, or even if it would gain an interest but it really has.

What is amazing is that so many of you have so many commonalities, a strong foundation to build upon, which I think is a beautiful thing. Some of you have had good positive experiences and others have not been so lucky, but what is brilliant is that you have created a platform upon which you can vent, discuss, advise and just off load to one another without the fear of being judged.

As women we get caught up in so many aspects in life that we forget to celebrate the fact that we are women. 

Don't get me wrong women can be cruel and evil, everyone probably has experienced the wrath if a woman before whether it be an unreasonable mother in law or just a unkind associate of some kind, what is important and so many of you highlighted is to make sure that as we get older as we become parents not to repeat what has passed, like you said nothing can change the past but the future is in our hands.

As mothers, as protectors of our children we have a responsibility to ensure that we give all our children an equal, kind, enjoyable and full of confidence upbringing. Educating a child about religion and culture is just as important as teaching them the laws of gravity. There needs to be a balance between deen (religion) and duniya (world). 

You can compromise, negotiate and sacrifice but if it means to live in regret and sorrow because of these things then is it really worth it?

Women are strong, they can bear as much emotional pain as any physical pain, but everyone had a breaking point and that is what scares me.

I am glad that we have been able to come together here, talking about the past doesn't change it, correct. But it help lift the burden a little.

I know this post is long and not very coherent but was trying to cover a lot of the point made in all your conversations.

I once read a quote which I will share with you

'If you are searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror'

Home is where the heart is and change comes with good intentions only

Lots of love to you all


I'm so moved by all this women here... pouring their hearts in a
good way Wink... i'm so amaze .. how strong their are...
i absolutely solute you guys...
i really did not expect ... this much emotional turn over...
seriously... this is just few we know...
what about the rest...
hmmm.. the changes begin from ourselves ...and then our kids
prepare them to face the world...

you ladies doing awesome job...
keep the positivity in you...
if you need someone to talk...
reach out... to a good listener... less your pain
and give clear view... just a listener... not someone to meddle..
i'm sure you all do the best...


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vinita459Saima-Syed

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Posted: 08 June 2014 at 8:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by raneeb

You guys have bamboozled me--am amazed how each generation has to go through the same  trials and tribulations! This holds true for everyone...


I am so glad you have this platform to vent out your frustration so that you can carry on with living. I have learnt that nothing comes easy so teach the children by example the art of Tolerance and Compromise!
I am not going to add anymore coz there are so many similarities in all our lives. Have your priorities right and focus on the positives and life would be that much happier.
Photo


awesome.. Clap

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Posted: 08 June 2014 at 8:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Destiny-

Originally posted by -Destiny-

Hi my name is lekha. This topic and question in particular has intrigued me.

How much does having a dual heritage affect ones identity, self-definition and ones understanding of ethnicities and cultures within a diverse World?

I have dual upbringing and am exposed to a lot of different opinions about the same issues. I'm a tamilian and telugu girl (since my mom is from machlipatnam and daddy from chennai )
And I feel that being exposed to various/multicultural ideologies is always intriguing. Multicultural experiences make for a wholistic and well balanced opinion making mentality.

One thing about being open to diverse cultures is that it moulds us as a finer and broader minded human being.

I forgot to add that I've hot friends who follow many faiths(Christianity,Islam and many other faiths) and being exposed to their living styles makes one reflect on how different people are coping with different issues

I for one am pretty lucky to have that exposure. It's such a good learning experience.


yes indeed.. Smile

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Posted: 08 June 2014 at 12:46pm | IP Logged

It's serious business when one partner breaks the bond of marriage by cheating, but is it possible to move past the betrayal and stay in a happy marriage.

How do you forgive your spouse when he or she has stabbed you in the heart emotionally? How do you release the enormous pain and confusion you feel because of what your spouse has done to you and your marriage? And why do you have to? Why is it YOU that has to do so much of the hard work when you aren't the one who betrayed your marriage partner? And where does marriage restoration come into all of this IF there is anything left to restore?

Question of the Week - Monday, June 09, 2014

Is infidelity a deal-breaker or is there room for forgiveness?

NOTE: My sincere request to everyone, please respect each other's opinions and beliefs. For further Rules, please refer to Page 1.


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Posted: 08 June 2014 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by farz_parachute

Originally posted by Tamara27

New Topic!


Every Monday!


You bored with this one!Hehe!




Or wait.


You bored with...me?

Farz, you could never bore me!
I just had too much to say on this topic :)

Now I shall give my measly 2c worth on today's topic, tomorrow once I've had a good sleep.


Edited by Tamara27 - 08 June 2014 at 12:59pm

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Posted: 09 June 2014 at 4:02am | IP Logged
"is it possible to move past the betrayal and stay in a happy marriage??"

Once again, another great topic to bother my grey cells!! Wink


i don't know about how it is to be in a bond of marriage, because i am an unmarried girl of 22... but i have seen the world too... if not so much like others, but i did!!


Infidelity in any form in a marriage is not something to be forgiven... it may be repaired for the moment, but it leaves a deep scar, which is impossible to mend...


in such cases, often the children are sufferers too...and however small the kid might be, it affects him/her beyond repair...


and yes... past the betrayal, even if there is something left to stay in a happy marriage, there still remains the seed of doubt that was once sowed!!  


Edited by BeYourself - 09 June 2014 at 4:03am

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Posted: 09 June 2014 at 7:26am | IP Logged
Here goes my measly 2c worth... LOL
Speaking strictly for myself, I would have to say that these kinds of things arent black and white.
If my hubby had to cheat, and it was a one time thing, never to occur again, and I was absolutely sure of his love... I would forgive. 

Obviously, if it wasn't a one time thing, and he had fallen in love, there would be no point of forgiveness. 

Perhaps it is easy for me to say this, because I'm secure in the knowledge that my husband loves me and because I would bet my life on him never cheating.

But at the end of the day, it takes two to make a marriage work and one person isn't always to blame for the breakup of a marriage either. Sometimes...

But both men and women do cheat. It happens. Goodness knows for what reason... I guess each to their own. As difficult as forgiveness may seem, it wouldn't be impossible. For me, I think the difficult bit would be forgetting. I doubt that forgetting will happen easily and then from  forgiveness the hard work will have to start at making things right again. I can't imagine it would be easy but I also would like to think it isn't impossible.

I'm not judging anyone that chooses to forgive or not forgive. I guess you would only know your reaction if something like this ever happens. I've not been in this position myself, so perhaps that's why it is easy for me to say all of this. 

Staying in an unhappy marriage isn't great for anyone involved. So we all must do what we have to. 

To each their own, I guess.

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Posted: 09 June 2014 at 7:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Tamara27

Here goes my measly 2c worth... LOL
Speaking strictly for myself, I would have to say that these kinds of things arent black and white.
If my hubby had to cheat, and it was a one time thing, never to occur again, and I was absolutely sure of his love... I would forgive. 

Obviously, if it wasn't a one time thing, and he had fallen in love, there would be no point of forgiveness. 

Perhaps it is easy for me to say this, because I'm secure in the knowledge that my husband loves me and because I would bet my life on him never cheating.

But at the end of the day, it takes two to make a marriage work and one person isn't always to blame for the breakup of a marriage either. Sometimes...

But both men and women do cheat. It happens. Goodness knows for what reason... I guess each to their own. As difficult as forgiveness may seem, it wouldn't be impossible. For me, I think the difficult bit would be forgetting. I doubt that forgetting will happen easily and then from  forgiveness the hard work will have to start at making things right again. I can't imagine it would be easy but I also would like to think it isn't impossible.

I'm not judging anyone that chooses to forgive or not forgive. I guess you would only know your reaction if something like this ever happens. I've not been in this position myself, so perhaps that's why it is easy for me to say all of this. 

Staying in an unhappy marriage isn't great for anyone involved. So we all must do what we have to. 

To each their own, I guess.

i agree... it wouldn't be as difficult a task to forgive..but again, as you said, forgetting it will be the most difficult part of it...

and i can bet on it that a woman will never ever forget that!!!

she might not be showing it, but  that pain will always remain with her.. 



Edited by BeYourself - 09 June 2014 at 7:30am

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