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The Yummy Mummy's of QH: Topic Six 01.07.14 - Pg 82 (Page 62)

Tamara27 IF-Rockerz
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Posts: 4640

Posted: 03 June 2014 at 4:44am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rajsmi

Originally posted by Tamara27

Originally posted by rajsmi

Wow!! This topic has def stirred every married woman's heart :-) Oh those MILs...
I thought I would be the only liberal gal here but it seems like there are quite a few strong, broadminded ones and it is really great to see that. I am 50 so I find very few in that age group.

I live in the US though brought up in India (Mumbai, Goa,Gujarat,Kerala) so I have seen different Indians and I spent 10 years of my 25 year marriage in Dubai with the rest here in the US. So, I guess I have seen a mixed bag in India, more secular in the Middle East and liberal in the US. I married my college sweetheart who is a Hindu like me but I am a Brahmin and he is way down the line, as folks say.

What I have realized in my 50 years of life is that most of the major issues in this world have started and are still ongoing, for more than 1000 years in the name of religion. Every religion has it's hierarchy system (defined or undefined) and between religions, there is a clash of which is the superior one. Be it in a broad circle or in the confines of one's family, religion is a prominent issue most of the time.

Take the "religion" out of mankind and we would be in a much better world, don't you think? We would like people for who they are, marry a person who we would be happy with, work for the betterment of mankind and not for religious institutions who tend to enforce laws to abide by and so forth...

And, over and above the religions, we have wealth and status to segregate us too! Isn't it all too much for this little world we live in?

I grew up with a very religious mother who goes to temples every so often, prays for hours on end daily. On the other hand, my agnostic dad was more of a Gandhian in his ways with no touch with material things...So, I am a skeptic :-) Hubby and kids are atheists and believe in science and that's all there is.
 
Culture- what is culture? If celebrating festivals is culture then I do not do that like normal people. I don't rush to make high fat and sugar sweets for Diwali and other Hindu festivals in the name of God to only feed our bodies and ruin it. The rate of diabetes has gone so high in India that people talk of it just like having a mild digestive issue. Isn't that scary?

I like talk to my boys about festivals as a time to bond with family, sit together and do things we love. I don't believe in doing pooja annually for my dad's death anniversary. Instead, we give food to the food bank. I tell my kids that being a Hindu and being Indian means we treat people with respect, whoever they may be and we help anyone we can but not at the cost of our own family. That has to be priority otherwise one can ruin one's life if we go to the extreme in helping others.

Raising the kids to be good human beings and being good role models ourselves is all I strive for and if I see that I have done a good job, then I have done absolute justice to my culture. I may look different from my neighbor but we can embrace each other and look beyond the superficial issues that seem to bother us :-(

Guess I have ranted enough...time for another topic, I guess! 

You are FABULOUS!  

I simply love your outlook and they way you've woven your culture into your boy's lives without any kind of indoctrination.

Your broad outlook and open-mindedness is indeed inspiring!

You've certainly done justice to your culture by raising your boys the way you have. I am not saying it's right or wrong - but it is the way I aspire to be with my son. 

Great job, and I love love LOVE your comment Hug

Thanks but being like this has its cons... My mom never understands why I dont wear jewelry which is another one of those things to measure people...why I am the way I am! I collect a few enemies along as I am pretty vocal at times when people go overboard for God but totally disregard a poor destitute! Anyway, loved all the comments and enjoyed reading about everyone's lives!

Of course it does - I so get you!
But life like this is a lot more fun, don't you think?

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vinita459rajsmiPerfectionist2farz_parachuteSaima-SyedraneebLinsie

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Posted: 03 June 2014 at 4:56am | IP Logged
I know! Poor destitute!


What do we do with such people.

God didn't ask you to tell people off if they want to listen to you preach. You be nice.

Put off I am.

Preachers. If only you know people don't want your version of a religion.


But.



But but but!


I like high fats and sugary sweets. I mean...we only get them during festivals! And it's a holiday. Some indulgence toh banta hai.



No?
Fine!


These days everybody wanna be friends with my alter ego. Mera koi nahin hai yahan. Farz. Fatz. Tsk.


Imma go to one corner and think of all the fats I've eaten. And smile at the ones I'll have later for dinner. While watching Revenge! (I checked, yippee)


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Posted: 03 June 2014 at 6:08am | IP Logged
Well Di at this topic I can't say anything I am speechless
I guess bcuz I have never gone through this kind of situation.
.

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Posted: 03 June 2014 at 6:17am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rajsmi

Originally posted by Tamara27

Originally posted by rajsmi

Wow!! This topic has def stirred every married woman's heart :-) Oh those MILs...
I thought I would be the only liberal gal here but it seems like there are quite a few strong, broadminded ones and it is really great to see that. I am 50 so I find very few in that age group.

I live in the US though brought up in India (Mumbai, Goa,Gujarat,Kerala) so I have seen different Indians and I spent 10 years of my 25 year marriage in Dubai with the rest here in the US. So, I guess I have seen a mixed bag in India, more secular in the Middle East and liberal in the US. I married my college sweetheart who is a Hindu like me but I am a Brahmin and he is way down the line, as folks say.

What I have realized in my 50 years of life is that most of the major issues in this world have started and are still ongoing, for more than 1000 years in the name of religion. Every religion has it's hierarchy system (defined or undefined) and between religions, there is a clash of which is the superior one. Be it in a broad circle or in the confines of one's family, religion is a prominent issue most of the time.

Take the "religion" out of mankind and we would be in a much better world, don't you think? We would like people for who they are, marry a person who we would be happy with, work for the betterment of mankind and not for religious institutions who tend to enforce laws to abide by and so forth...

And, over and above the religions, we have wealth and status to segregate us too! Isn't it all too much for this little world we live in?

I grew up with a very religious mother who goes to temples every so often, prays for hours on end daily. On the other hand, my agnostic dad was more of a Gandhian in his ways with no touch with material things...So, I am a skeptic :-) Hubby and kids are atheists and believe in science and that's all there is.
 
Culture- what is culture? If celebrating festivals is culture then I do not do that like normal people. I don't rush to make high fat and sugar sweets for Diwali and other Hindu festivals in the name of God to only feed our bodies and ruin it. The rate of diabetes has gone so high in India that people talk of it just like having a mild digestive issue. Isn't that scary?

I like talk to my boys about festivals as a time to bond with family, sit together and do things we love. I don't believe in doing pooja annually for my dad's death anniversary. Instead, we give food to the food bank. I tell my kids that being a Hindu and being Indian means we treat people with respect, whoever they may be and we help anyone we can but not at the cost of our own family. That has to be priority otherwise one can ruin one's life if we go to the extreme in helping others.

Raising the kids to be good human beings and being good role models ourselves is all I strive for and if I see that I have done a good job, then I have done absolute justice to my culture. I may look different from my neighbor but we can embrace each other and look beyond the superficial issues that seem to bother us :-(

Guess I have ranted enough...time for another topic, I guess! 

You are FABULOUS!  

I simply love your outlook and they way you've woven your culture into your boy's lives without any kind of indoctrination.

Your broad outlook and open-mindedness is indeed inspiring!

You've certainly done justice to your culture by raising your boys the way you have. I am not saying it's right or wrong - but it is the way I aspire to be with my son. 

Great job, and I love love LOVE your comment Hug

Thanks but being like this has its cons... My mom never understands why I dont wear jewelry which is another one of those things to measure people...why I am the way I am! I collect a few enemies along as I am pretty vocal at times when people go overboard for God but totally disregard a poor destitute! Anyway, loved all the comments and enjoyed reading about everyone's lives!

Absolutely!! Wouldn't change a thing! :-)

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vinita459Tamara27Saima-SyedraneebLinsie

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Posted: 03 June 2014 at 6:45am | IP Logged
I don't want to get married.




But then.


I need to make some mutants. Cannot waste these genes.




I hope they are sure of their heritage and culture.




And don't need to rant/vent out on some God awesome thread on some forum.




Nice meeting you all, ladies.


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Tamara27 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 03 June 2014 at 7:01am | IP Logged
Originally posted by farz_parachute

I don't want to get married.




But then.


I need to make some mutants. Cannot waste these genes.




I hope they are sure of their heritage and culture.




And don't need to rant/vent out on some God awesome thread on some forum.




Nice meeting you all, ladies.



You most certainly cannot waste those genes of yours, but I'm positive "making mutants" or in my case "the biggest little monster you'll ever meet" will be discussed in upcoming topics. 

LOL


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Posted: 03 June 2014 at 7:34am | IP Logged
You guys are all so very yum, you know that?


*Looks at thread title.*



I don't belong here.


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Posted: 03 June 2014 at 8:52am | IP Logged
Originally posted by farz_parachute

Just a question...was there no fear of having your children be influenced by environmental culture?

It doesn't have to be a bad thing...but what if it is different than what you've thought your children?

My mother lived with the fear. Until we were very well in our teenage years (18???haha...since I'm the youngest)...

I just asked her about the issue...throwing in words like heritage and culture and all those. And she said. You're father is the sole reason for my constant fear. Then the world.



I regret asking.


But I think she was glad I did.


Just a question. Not that I need answers. But would appreciate some.



Imma go do some kid stuff. Like tell Papa I'm sorry if you don't get your TV slot and have to watch Revenge or Game of Thrones or Law & Order or Scandal (depending on whatever's on) coz I kinda opened up an old wound. And mummy controls the remote.




Good news. I love Revenge. And Games of Thrones. And Law & Order. Not so much Scandal but I'll live.

Mummy cannot stand Glee.




I dont have kids yet...but I know 1 thing for sure...the question of where to raise them definetly comess to mind...Yes time and situations will give me the answers...but the reasons have their way of seeping through my mind...I dunno if I should scratch this topic...but I can atleast share my thought process...
 
for me...no matter where I stay how long I stay...home= India...and I've had good and bad experiences being away from home...I have met all sorts of ppl that are either doing the shitiest jobs in raising confident well aware Indo whatever kids..and I've seen kids that know and respect their roots...it can go wither way...and I am not worried about that...I guess it depends on the parents...
but at the end of the day home beckons..and I wanna go back...I want my kids to know where they come from...respect the country that has so much to offer..learn from its heritage..embrace the world...I want my kids to learn hindi..before Spanish or french..study sanskrit...before..chinese...thats my personal POV...my roots have a lot to offer...and if what is available to us in our roots is instilled in our kids in the right manner..than nothing can stop them from achieiving the roots and the wings that allow them to embrace the world with all that it has to offer...I've lived in India all through my teens...and wen I left...I had learned enough to never have an issue keeping up a conversation with people of different cultures...I had both...my roots..my heritage..that allowed me to feel confident..and the open mindedness to accept something new...thats what I want for my kids...
 
Again that's my personal POV...for everyone there's something that works..and works right..follow that...along with ur heart and instinct..and things will work outSmile


Edited by -StarsLinedUp- - 03 June 2014 at 8:54am

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