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The Yummy Mummy's of QH: Topic Six 01.07.14 - Pg 82 (Page 57)

vinita459 Goldie
vinita459
vinita459

Joined: 06 July 2005
Posts: 1927

Posted: 02 June 2014 at 9:41am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Perfectionist2

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">OH MY GOOD LORD!</font>

</div>

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He is a Catholic.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">But I have a change in story here.I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smileThen court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regretone bit. Our fights are never bases on religion. </font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I askhim todo,I go to church with him.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them andwe patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My point is the more we point out, complicateand segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no waygoing to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, whichman or woman from which culture,Your eyes will hauntfor "The Human" who is going to come to a rescueeven if youchant the name of a specific god.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman">Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...</font>




Hey Juliet,

First I am really shocked to know that you have children Shocked

I am equally surprised to know that we are all in a same situation Smile

But here is the twist: while you can freely practice you own religion and keep a temple at home. I can't. Or I should say, I am not allowed to. If I want to go to temple, I just go sneakingly. My hubby doesn't have any problem but he doesn't want his parents to find out. My MIL lives with us..I can't practice my own religion freely in my own home.

I am sorry but this is a frustrating situation for me. Fine, they don't want our kids to follow but why me? I feel like an idiot. I married the same guy three times too. Court marriage which no one attended it except us. Got marry in a temple where his family didn't come. Got marry in the church which my family didn't attend. Three marriage with the same guy and not even one time I was whole heartedly happy :(

I never thought these things will bother me so much in future. I guess I was too blind in love    LOL

Vinita



<div>
Vinita seriously. A big hug darling..

I think it's because your MIL stays. With you.


Oh Mil's are crazy... N i get it why shud we be the ones to give up.


But does hubby know how you feel...


That is sad. You should at least be able to do that in your room.


My MiL also gets coocoo..haha. She once told me we-meaning hubby n I will be in different heavens...hahaha... i was like yeah he can stayver at mine on the weekend if Shiva allows... she got angry...


Just told hubby what is withChristianboys after Hindu girls... he went cos we are the best...N we dont know what hit us till after the marriage... haha...



Ha ha ha you just gave me a good laugh...MIL's are crazy LOL

I think our situation got worse since my MIL started living with us. Prior to that it didn't matter so much. We lived in USA and they were in India. I love my husband a lot and he's the only reason why I tolerate so much. He does understand my feeling but he is also helpless. He can't say or change his mom's views so he expects me to compromise for his sake.

By the way we just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on May 28th. Neither mine or his family ever wishes us. But we always celebrate in our own little way Embarrassed

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 9:43am | IP Logged
Well, I'm not in that situation of being in caught up between two different religions... but My brother is married to an American (not an Indian girl whose born in American, a true American girl types)...
When my brother told our parents about this, my mother freaked out.. She is a very naive and selfless mom.. always being pushed around and used by relatives for their selfishness... So being oppressed in this way.. she used always worry about how people might talk about if there is something off from our side.. 
This news of my brother being in love with an American broke her down with worry that people would shun us... Moreover she used to worry how my in-laws would react...

My brother and dad are hotheads.. Anything from mom would make shout at her.. So she used to talk to me about her worries... I used to tell her.. For her, only hers, her husband's and kids feelings should matter not any other person's...
My hubby used to also console my mom saying my brother would be happy only with the person whom he loves..

My mom used keep asking me how my MIL would react to it. If it would affect my life at in-laws place (At that time I was still in India)...

I used to assure her even anything My hubby would take care (he would if he was aware of it).. 
My hubby(another naive character in my life) used to tell mom that his family won't pose any issues.. poor thing doesn't realize that his Mom is an epitome of sarcasm.. she loves being sarcastic with me Ermm... problems you have when you have a MIL who is 40+ years older to you.. LOL oops off track... 

coming back to topic

My mom's other concern was Religion she is a true American and we are tamilian Brahmins... We have too many rituals and puja's, would she follow or not..

When my brother introduced us through emails.. Elizabeth (my SIL) used to ask me about our religion.. what pooja's we do, what festivals do we have.. She used to genuinely interested to know more about our Religion and celebrate the festivals...

The thing I told my mom was.. We can not and will not force anything on them.. It's upto them to decide what they feel good doing from their heart.. Now my SIL is maintaining a Hindu mandap and also her Jesus' photo in the same room... Smile.. She celebrates both religion festivals.. 

I'm always a person who feels that whatever you do should be heartfelt not done just cause someone told you to...

Though mine was an arranged marriage in the same religion and culture.. I have issues regarding the way my in-laws perform certain pujas.. According to Indian tradition you should do as your in-laws ask you to do.. but never has any said do things however you are comfortable doing..

I was taught to do rituals(the method for the same rituals) differently and In-laws do it differently... My MIL she herself follows her mother's teachings but has an issue if I do the same LOL... 

I guess I jumped into a entirely different topic... LOL

So this my view.. People should follow religion and culture as they feel right not cause they were forced into a mix of it due to situations or other people.. 

And as others say there is nothing higher than humanity...Smile

I hope I didn't confuse you'll.. 


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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 9:50am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">OH MY GOOD LORD!</font>

</div>

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He is a Catholic.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">But I have a change in story here.I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smileThen court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regretone bit. Our fights are never bases on religion. </font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I askhim todo,I go to church with him.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them andwe patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My point is the more we point out, complicateand segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no waygoing to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, whichman or woman from which culture,Your eyes will hauntfor "The Human" who is going to come to a rescueeven if youchant the name of a specific god.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.</font>




<font size="4" face="Times New Roman">Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...</font>




Hey Juliet,

First I am really shocked to know that you have children Shocked

I am equally surprised to know that we are all in a same situation Smile

But here is the twist: while you can freely practice you own religion and keep a temple at home. I can't. Or I should say, I am not allowed to. If I want to go to temple, I just go sneakingly. My hubby doesn't have any problem but he doesn't want his parents to find out. My MIL lives with us..I can't practice my own religion freely in my own home.

I am sorry but this is a frustrating situation for me. Fine, they don't want our kids to follow but why me? I feel like an idiot. I married the same guy three times too. Court marriage which no one attended it except us. Got marry in a temple where his family didn't come. Got marry in the church which my family didn't attend. Three marriage with the same guy and not even one time I was whole heartedly happy :(

I never thought these things will bother me so much in future. I guess I was too blind in love    LOL

Vinita



<div>
Vinita seriously. A big hug darling..

I think it's because your MIL stays. With you.


Oh Mil's are crazy... N i get it why shud we be the ones to give up.


But does hubby know how you feel...


That is sad. You should at least be able to do that in your room.


My MiL also gets coocoo..haha. She once told me we-meaning hubby n I will be in different heavens...hahaha... i was like yeah he can stayver at mine on the weekend if Shiva allows... she got angry...


Just told hubby what is withChristianboys after Hindu girls... he went cos we are the best...N we dont know what hit us till after the marriage... haha...



Ha ha ha you just gave me a good laugh...MIL's are crazy LOL

I think our situation got worse since my MIL started living with us. Prior to that it didn't matter so much. We lived in USA and they were in India. I love my husband a lot and he's the only reason why I tolerate so much. He does understand my feeling but he is also helpless. He can't say or change his mom's views so he expects me to compromise for his sake.

By the way we just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on May 28th. Neither mine or his family ever wishes us. But we always celebrate in our own little way Embarrassed
Aaah the MIL'sTongueLOL..my husband's entire family lives with me now...my inlaws just moved here last week...and honest to god...I want to run away...I have been fretting about it from the day I got married...I've always been clear with my hubby..that I cant share my kitchen and house...you can have two houses side by side or one over the other..but I need my space...But here they are...and its a test everyday..to hold onto my patience..and my tongue... they are such nice people...they dont bother us..so much..but boy when it comes to micro managing..people..home and situations..I am literally pulling my hair in frustrations and anger by the end of the night..I dont know how I will surviveOuch
 
I was so happy too when they lived back home...but now..they plan to live here for good!! god save me...and my sanity..LOL
 
As for hubby's...I feel for them..they are stuck between the 2...where do they go...what do they do.. They say a happy family is due to a guy that knows his jobs well..being a good husband and a good son...but then again..I guess we only stay cos we know he is trying all that he can to keep things and ppl together...rite??Embarrassed sometime though..its good if he stands up for his wife a lil more and doesnt ask so much from her... A woman that is left unnurtured...can only give so much back...its give and take after all...if a guy walks a step for you...we walk 10... and if that doesnt happen often...its upon us to nurture ourselves, defend ourselves..and stand up for what we beleive in!!!Smile


Edited by -StarsLinedUp- - 02 June 2014 at 9:51am

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vinita459Divya.S.RBeYourselfGoodGoneWrongraneebLinsie

vinita459 Goldie
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Joined: 06 July 2005
Posts: 1927

Posted: 02 June 2014 at 10:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -StarsLinedUp-

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">OH MY GOOD LORD!</font>


</div>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.</font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.</font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He is a Catholic.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">But I have a change in story here.I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smileThen court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regretone bit. Our fights are never bases on religion. </font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I askhim todo,I go to church with him.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them andwe patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.</font>









<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My point is the more we point out, complicateand segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no waygoing to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, whichman or woman from which culture,Your eyes will hauntfor "The Human" who is going to come to a rescueeven if youchant the name of a specific god.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman">Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...</font>





Hey Juliet,

First I am really shocked to know that you have children Shocked

I am equally surprised to know that we are all in a same situation Smile

But here is the twist: while you can freely practice you own religion and keep a temple at home. I can't. Or I should say, I am not allowed to. If I want to go to temple, I just go sneakingly. My hubby doesn't have any problem but he doesn't want his parents to find out. My MIL lives with us..I can't practice my own religion freely in my own home.

I am sorry but this is a frustrating situation for me. Fine, they don't want our kids to follow but why me? I feel like an idiot. I married the same guy three times too. Court marriage which no one attended it except us. Got marry in a temple where his family didn't come. Got marry in the church which my family didn't attend. Three marriage with the same guy and not even one time I was whole heartedly happy :(

I never thought these things will bother me so much in future. I guess I was too blind in love    LOL

Vinita





<div>
Vinita seriously. A big hug darling..

</div>

I think it's because your MIL stays. With you.




Oh Mil's are crazy... N i get it why shud we be the ones to give up.




But does hubby know how you feel...




That is sad. You should at least be able to do that in your room.




My MiL also gets coocoo..haha. She once told me we-meaning hubby n I will be in different heavens...hahaha... i was like yeah he can stayver at mine on the weekend if Shiva allows... she got angry...




Just told hubby what is withChristianboys after Hindu girls... he went cos we are the best...N we dont know what hit us till after the marriage... haha...




Ha ha ha you just gave me a good laugh...MIL's are crazy LOL

I think our situation got worse since my MIL started living with us. Prior to that it didn't matter so much. We lived in USA and they were in India. I love my husband a lot and he's the only reason why I tolerate so much. He does understand my feeling but he is also helpless. He can't say or change his mom's views so he expects me to compromise for his sake.

By the way we just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on May 28th. Neither mine or his family ever wishes us. But we always celebrate in our own little way Embarrassed

<div>

Aaah the MIL'sTongueLOL..my husband's entire family lives with me now...my inlaws just moved here last week...and honest to god...I want to run away...I have been fretting about it from the day I got married...I've always been clear with my hubby..that I cant share my kitchen and house...you can have two houses side by side or one over the other..but I need my space...But here they are...and its a test everyday..to hold onto my patience..and my tongue... they are such nice people...they dont bother us..so much..but boy when it comes to micro managing..people..home and situations..I am literally pulling my hair in frustrations and anger by the end of the night..I dont know how I will surviveOuch


I was so happy too when they lived back home...but now..they plan to live here for good!! god save me...and my sanity..LOL


As for hubby's...I feel for them..they are stuck between the 2...where do they go...what do they do.. They say a happy family is due to a guy that knows his jobs well..being a good husband and a good son...but then again..I guess we only stay cos we know he is trying all that he can to keep things and ppl together...rite??Embarrassedsometime though..its good if he stands up for his wife a lil more and doesnt ask so much from her... A woman that is left unnurtured...can only give so much back...its give and take after all...if a guy walks a step for you...we walk 10... and if that doesnt happen often...its upon us to nurture ourselves, defend ourselves..and stand up for what we beleive in!!!Smile


Oh dear! Tell me about it. It is very difficult to stay with In laws. My MIL is a good lady but I really miss staying by ourselves. And what frustrates me the most is that his elder brother lives 20 minutes away but she never goes to stay with them. The elder DIL doesn't treat her well so she stays with us. Oh, and and not to forget the elder DIL belongs to their community where as I am not Angry

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 10:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by -StarsLinedUp-

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">OH MY GOOD LORD!</font>


</div>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.</font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.</font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He is a Catholic.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">But I have a change in story here.I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smileThen court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regretone bit. Our fights are never bases on religion. </font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I askhim todo,I go to church with him.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them andwe patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.</font>









<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My point is the more we point out, complicateand segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no waygoing to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, whichman or woman from which culture,Your eyes will hauntfor "The Human" who is going to come to a rescueeven if youchant the name of a specific god.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman">Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...</font>





Hey Juliet,

First I am really shocked to know that you have children Shocked

I am equally surprised to know that we are all in a same situation Smile

But here is the twist: while you can freely practice you own religion and keep a temple at home. I can't. Or I should say, I am not allowed to. If I want to go to temple, I just go sneakingly. My hubby doesn't have any problem but he doesn't want his parents to find out. My MIL lives with us..I can't practice my own religion freely in my own home.

I am sorry but this is a frustrating situation for me. Fine, they don't want our kids to follow but why me? I feel like an idiot. I married the same guy three times too. Court marriage which no one attended it except us. Got marry in a temple where his family didn't come. Got marry in the church which my family didn't attend. Three marriage with the same guy and not even one time I was whole heartedly happy :(

I never thought these things will bother me so much in future. I guess I was too blind in love    LOL

Vinita





<div>
Vinita seriously. A big hug darling..

</div>

I think it's because your MIL stays. With you.




Oh Mil's are crazy... N i get it why shud we be the ones to give up.




But does hubby know how you feel...




That is sad. You should at least be able to do that in your room.




My MiL also gets coocoo..haha. She once told me we-meaning hubby n I will be in different heavens...hahaha... i was like yeah he can stayver at mine on the weekend if Shiva allows... she got angry...




Just told hubby what is withChristianboys after Hindu girls... he went cos we are the best...N we dont know what hit us till after the marriage... haha...




Ha ha ha you just gave me a good laugh...MIL's are crazy LOL

I think our situation got worse since my MIL started living with us. Prior to that it didn't matter so much. We lived in USA and they were in India. I love my husband a lot and he's the only reason why I tolerate so much. He does understand my feeling but he is also helpless. He can't say or change his mom's views so he expects me to compromise for his sake.

By the way we just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on May 28th. Neither mine or his family ever wishes us. But we always celebrate in our own little way Embarrassed

<div>

Aaah the MIL'sTongueLOL..my husband's entire family lives with me now...my inlaws just moved here last week...and honest to god...I want to run away...I have been fretting about it from the day I got married...I've always been clear with my hubby..that I cant share my kitchen and house...you can have two houses side by side or one over the other..but I need my space...But here they are...and its a test everyday..to hold onto my patience..and my tongue... they are such nice people...they dont bother us..so much..but boy when it comes to micro managing..people..home and situations..I am literally pulling my hair in frustrations and anger by the end of the night..I dont know how I will surviveOuch


I was so happy too when they lived back home...but now..they plan to live here for good!! god save me...and my sanity..LOL


As for hubby's...I feel for them..they are stuck between the 2...where do they go...what do they do.. They say a happy family is due to a guy that knows his jobs well..being a good husband and a good son...but then again..I guess we only stay cos we know he is trying all that he can to keep things and ppl together...rite??Embarrassedsometime though..its good if he stands up for his wife a lil more and doesnt ask so much from her... A woman that is left unnurtured...can only give so much back...its give and take after all...if a guy walks a step for you...we walk 10... and if that doesnt happen often...its upon us to nurture ourselves, defend ourselves..and stand up for what we beleive in!!!Smile


Oh dear! Tell me about it. It is very difficult to stay with In laws. My MIL is a good lady but I really miss staying by ourselves. And what frustrates me the most is that his elder brother lives 20 minutes away but she never goes to stay with them. The elder DIL doesn't treat her well so she stays with us. Oh, and and not to forget the elder DIL belongs to their community where as I am not Angry

I feel ya gal...mine is the other way round...all my MIL's family lives in the city...and a lot of relatives and friends as well..so every day for the past week wen I go home for lunch and after work...there's someone visiting..then  u r busy serving and entertaining...forget ur own routine..u need to be a good host..and every strp of the way..ur MIL wants u to go do something...LOL...here I am a private person by nature..not so social...n Im  put in a situation where I have to be all niceDead
 Boy how I wan to move awayLOL

The following 6 member(s) liked the above post:

vinita459Divya.S.RChocoBerryGoodGoneWrongraneebLinsie

Tamara27 IF-Rockerz
Tamara27
Tamara27

Joined: 08 June 2013
Posts: 4640

Posted: 02 June 2014 at 12:29pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Perfectionist2

OH MY GOOD LORD!
 
This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.
I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL
 
I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.
He is a Catholic.
 
But I have a change in story here. I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.
 
Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL
 
My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smile Then court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.
 
10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regret one bit. Our fights are never bases on religion.
He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I ask him to do, I go to church with him.
 
My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.
 
I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them and we patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.
 
My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.
 
 
My point is the more we point out, complicate and segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no way going to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.
 
I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.
 
Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.
 
Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, which man or woman from which culture, Your eyes will haunt for "The Human" who is going to come to a rescue even if you chant the name of a specific god.
 
Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.
 
Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...
 


Hahaha!
I'm in shock that so many members are shocked that you're married with a child LOL

Living outside of India certainly gives a different view, along with its own challenges. But I suppose you have known both and so you see things differently too - which is a great thing.

You're fab, and I know that you'll teach your children everything they will need to know to become the firecracker you are, and the lovely, warm people that their parents are (Yes, I'm including hubby, because... as much as "I don't like you", I'm his cheerleader too ;)

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

vinita459farz_parachuteChocoBerryLinsie

Tamara27 IF-Rockerz
Tamara27
Tamara27

Joined: 08 June 2013
Posts: 4640

Posted: 02 June 2014 at 12:33pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -StarsLinedUp-

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by -StarsLinedUp-

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">OH MY GOOD LORD!</font>


</div>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.</font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.</font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He is a Catholic.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">But I have a change in story here.I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smileThen court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regretone bit. Our fights are never bases on religion. </font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I askhim todo,I go to church with him.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them andwe patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.</font>









<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My point is the more we point out, complicateand segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no waygoing to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, whichman or woman from which culture,Your eyes will hauntfor "The Human" who is going to come to a rescueeven if youchant the name of a specific god.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman">Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...</font>





Hey Juliet,

First I am really shocked to know that you have children Shocked

I am equally surprised to know that we are all in a same situation Smile

But here is the twist: while you can freely practice you own religion and keep a temple at home. I can't. Or I should say, I am not allowed to. If I want to go to temple, I just go sneakingly. My hubby doesn't have any problem but he doesn't want his parents to find out. My MIL lives with us..I can't practice my own religion freely in my own home.

I am sorry but this is a frustrating situation for me. Fine, they don't want our kids to follow but why me? I feel like an idiot. I married the same guy three times too. Court marriage which no one attended it except us. Got marry in a temple where his family didn't come. Got marry in the church which my family didn't attend. Three marriage with the same guy and not even one time I was whole heartedly happy :(

I never thought these things will bother me so much in future. I guess I was too blind in love    LOL

Vinita





<div>
Vinita seriously. A big hug darling..

</div>

I think it's because your MIL stays. With you.




Oh Mil's are crazy... N i get it why shud we be the ones to give up.




But does hubby know how you feel...




That is sad. You should at least be able to do that in your room.




My MiL also gets coocoo..haha. She once told me we-meaning hubby n I will be in different heavens...hahaha... i was like yeah he can stayver at mine on the weekend if Shiva allows... she got angry...




Just told hubby what is withChristianboys after Hindu girls... he went cos we are the best...N we dont know what hit us till after the marriage... haha...




Ha ha ha you just gave me a good laugh...MIL's are crazy LOL

I think our situation got worse since my MIL started living with us. Prior to that it didn't matter so much. We lived in USA and they were in India. I love my husband a lot and he's the only reason why I tolerate so much. He does understand my feeling but he is also helpless. He can't say or change his mom's views so he expects me to compromise for his sake.

By the way we just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on May 28th. Neither mine or his family ever wishes us. But we always celebrate in our own little way Embarrassed

<div>

Aaah the MIL'sTongueLOL..my husband's entire family lives with me now...my inlaws just moved here last week...and honest to god...I want to run away...I have been fretting about it from the day I got married...I've always been clear with my hubby..that I cant share my kitchen and house...you can have two houses side by side or one over the other..but I need my space...But here they are...and its a test everyday..to hold onto my patience..and my tongue... they are such nice people...they dont bother us..so much..but boy when it comes to micro managing..people..home and situations..I am literally pulling my hair in frustrations and anger by the end of the night..I dont know how I will surviveOuch


I was so happy too when they lived back home...but now..they plan to live here for good!! god save me...and my sanity..LOL


As for hubby's...I feel for them..they are stuck between the 2...where do they go...what do they do.. They say a happy family is due to a guy that knows his jobs well..being a good husband and a good son...but then again..I guess we only stay cos we know he is trying all that he can to keep things and ppl together...rite??Embarrassedsometime though..its good if he stands up for his wife a lil more and doesnt ask so much from her... A woman that is left unnurtured...can only give so much back...its give and take after all...if a guy walks a step for you...we walk 10... and if that doesnt happen often...its upon us to nurture ourselves, defend ourselves..and stand up for what we beleive in!!!Smile


Oh dear! Tell me about it. It is very difficult to stay with In laws. My MIL is a good lady but I really miss staying by ourselves. And what frustrates me the most is that his elder brother lives 20 minutes away but she never goes to stay with them. The elder DIL doesn't treat her well so she stays with us. Oh, and and not to forget the elder DIL belongs to their community where as I am not Angry

I feel ya gal...mine is the other way round...all my MIL's family lives in the city...and a lot of relatives and friends as well..so every day for the past week wen I go home for lunch and after work...there's someone visiting..then  u r busy serving and entertaining...forget ur own routine..u need to be a good host..and every strp of the way..ur MIL wants u to go do something...LOL...here I am a private person by nature..not so social...n Im  put in a situation where I have to be all niceDead
 Boy how I wan to move awayLOL

This has turned into an interesting topic. 

We started off with duelling cultures and ended up lamenting our in-laws!

ROFL

But love makes it all worthwhile, doesn't it,  ladies?

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

vinita459ChocoBerryGoodGoneWrongLinsie

vinita459 Goldie
vinita459
vinita459

Joined: 06 July 2005
Posts: 1927

Posted: 02 June 2014 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Tamara27

Originally posted by -StarsLinedUp-

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by -StarsLinedUp-

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by Perfectionist2

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">OH MY GOOD LORD!</font>


</div>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.</font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.</font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He is a Catholic.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">But I have a change in story here.I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smileThen court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regretone bit. Our fights are never bases on religion. </font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I askhim todo,I go to church with him.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them andwe patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.</font>









<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My point is the more we point out, complicateand segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no waygoing to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, whichman or woman from which culture,Your eyes will hauntfor "The Human" who is going to come to a rescueeven if youchant the name of a specific god.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.</font>






<font size="4" face="Times New Roman">Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...</font>





Hey Juliet,

First I am really shocked to know that you have children Shocked

I am equally surprised to know that we are all in a same situation Smile

But here is the twist: while you can freely practice you own religion and keep a temple at home. I can't. Or I should say, I am not allowed to. If I want to go to temple, I just go sneakingly. My hubby doesn't have any problem but he doesn't want his parents to find out. My MIL lives with us..I can't practice my own religion freely in my own home.

I am sorry but this is a frustrating situation for me. Fine, they don't want our kids to follow but why me? I feel like an idiot. I married the same guy three times too. Court marriage which no one attended it except us. Got marry in a temple where his family didn't come. Got marry in the church which my family didn't attend. Three marriage with the same guy and not even one time I was whole heartedly happy :(

I never thought these things will bother me so much in future. I guess I was too blind in love    LOL

Vinita





<div>
Vinita seriously. A big hug darling..

</div>

I think it's because your MIL stays. With you.




Oh Mil's are crazy... N i get it why shud we be the ones to give up.




But does hubby know how you feel...




That is sad. You should at least be able to do that in your room.




My MiL also gets coocoo..haha. She once told me we-meaning hubby n I will be in different heavens...hahaha... i was like yeah he can stayver at mine on the weekend if Shiva allows... she got angry...




Just told hubby what is withChristianboys after Hindu girls... he went cos we are the best...N we dont know what hit us till after the marriage... haha...




Ha ha ha you just gave me a good laugh...MIL's are crazy LOL

I think our situation got worse since my MIL started living with us. Prior to that it didn't matter so much. We lived in USA and they were in India. I love my husband a lot and he's the only reason why I tolerate so much. He does understand my feeling but he is also helpless. He can't say or change his mom's views so he expects me to compromise for his sake.

By the way we just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary on May 28th. Neither mine or his family ever wishes us. But we always celebrate in our own little way Embarrassed

<div>

Aaah the MIL'sTongueLOL..my husband's entire family lives with me now...my inlaws just moved here last week...and honest to god...I want to run away...I have been fretting about it from the day I got married...I've always been clear with my hubby..that I cant share my kitchen and house...you can have two houses side by side or one over the other..but I need my space...But here they are...and its a test everyday..to hold onto my patience..and my tongue... they are such nice people...they dont bother us..so much..but boy when it comes to micro managing..people..home and situations..I am literally pulling my hair in frustrations and anger by the end of the night..I dont know how I will surviveOuch

</div>
I was so happy too when they lived back home...but now..they plan to live here for good!! god save me...and my sanity..LOL


As for hubby's...I feel for them..they are stuck between the 2...where do they go...what do they do.. They say a happy family is due to a guy that knows his jobs well..being a good husband and a good son...but then again..I guess we only stay cos we know he is trying all that he can to keep things and ppl together...rite??Embarrassedsometime though..its good if he stands up for his wife a lil more and doesnt ask so much from her... A woman that is left unnurtured...can only give so much back...its give and take after all...if a guy walks a step for you...we walk 10... and if that doesnt happen often...its upon us to nurture ourselves, defend ourselves..and stand up for what we beleive in!!!Smile


Oh dear! Tell me about it. It is very difficult to stay with In laws. My MIL is a good lady but I really miss staying by ourselves. And what frustrates me the most is that his elder brother lives 20 minutes away but she never goes to stay with them. The elder DIL doesn't treat her well so she stays with us. Oh, and and not to forget the elder DIL belongs to their community where as I am not Angry

<div>
I feel ya gal...mine is the other way round...all my MIL's family lives in the city...and a lot of relatives and friends as well..so every day for the past week wen I go home for lunch and after work...there's someone visiting..then u r busy serving and entertaining...forget ur own routine..u need to be a good host..and every strp of the way..ur MIL wants u to go do something...LOL...here I am a private person by nature..not so social...n Im put in a situation where I have to be all niceDead
Boy how I wan to move awayLOL

This has turned into an interesting topic.

We started off with duelling cultures and ended up lamenting our in-laws!

ROFL

But love makes it all worthwhile, doesn't it, ladies?


Ha ha ha that's what I was thinking. The topic started with dual heritage but ended on MIL's LOL

Yes, love makes it worthwhile. But sometimes I just want to take all my frustration out LOL

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

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