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The Yummy Mummy's of QH: Topic Six 01.07.14 - Pg 82 (Page 55)

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 1:20am | IP Logged

Sis, Vinita that's a brilliant topic. I totally relate to it not because I come from a dual heritage but because my son will be one.

Sis knows am married to the man I loved, ignoring the fact that he was from a different culture altogether. He's a Christian and I am a Hindu. When we fell in love the last thing on our minds was what culture or religion our children would follow.

But after we had the addition to our little family there were a lot of insecurities that my husband and his family had regarding what religion the little one would be taught. This definitely was an initial hiccup as they belong to a minority in India and I come from a major religious group, hence the insecurities. All settled soon as he was the first child in the family and brought so much happiness to all of us. But what my point is that it's not just the child that feels lost sometimes not understanding what he/she is supposed to follow but parents also feel the same. Both want to teach the child their respective cultures.

My son has been baptized so he can follow his father's religion (I have no issues with that) but we have not kept him away from the fact that his mother follows a different religion. He is well aware about the difference in both the cultures and their practices.

The question that Sis asked "How much does having a dual heritage affect ones identity, self-definition and ones understanding of ethnicities and cultures within a diverse World?" I don't have an answer to how much it will affect ones identity or self definition because I have not experienced it, but what I know is that if the child is taught well about both the religions and cultures, then he is definitely going to be a stronger person, understanding different cultures and would be more tolerant too. In the country where I live, where practically every state follows a different culture, it becomes very important that people develop that respect and tolerance for other religions and cultures. This can only happen when families like mine teach the child about both the cultures with an open mind.

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 3:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Crazy4AsYa-

Originally posted by kals82

Originally posted by -Crazy4AsYa-

Originally posted by kals82

ofcourse the parents should keep a check on it...

as most of them said ... the plus and minus should be clearly said to them...

having said... i really think even Tv should be monitored...

yday... my 7 year old son.. told me... was shocking..

i asked him will he join painting class...

he said that is for girls..

then waht is for boys...

he said love... good looking girls... imagine seven year old saying that...

that too who watches only cartoons...
even hatori.. and doreman.. have a girl lead.. who the boy is trying to impress...

as a parent.. we should somehow find time to spend.. with them.. irrespective of busy life...

would love to have topic... on how to spend more effective time.. and also curb the TV...

awesome topic...





oh god kalyani...what did u do then??Shocked
i also watch kid's cartoons...doraemon, shinchan and hatori...they surely have a lead and his heroine...even the toon films portray all sort of adult situations...like smooching and passionate hugs...


i just diverted him for time being...

actually we both we out.. for him to learn cycling..

the more time i spend with him... i relaised he is grwoing superfast...

right now the plan is curb as much tv possible..

but in vacation.. no other hang out for them..

but planned to spend most of the time at home.. only with him...

but man.. the time constraint... personal.. tiredness.. and laziness...

but has to do something...


nice move Clap but still u can't keep him outside always...
besides the most disastrous thing is school n their friends... Dead

can u believe that my 4 years old cousin sis wanted to keep the frock we'd bought for her, to wear it on her birthday...so that a boy in her class will appreciate her...as he liked that color Ouch ab main usse kya kahun ??! Confused

its a serious threat to parents ,

In between cartoons too they show all types of adult things

Its in tom & jerry tooOuch

And advertisement ki baat naa hi kiya tho acha hota hai

Yeh cartoon channel ki ad mein bhi kissing & huggings hoti hai

And bacho ko tho yeh unke dimag mein feed hoti hai aur baad mein yeh unki characterisation ko affect karte hai

In my home here is no tv

My kids watching cartoons from lap

That too with me

I didnt allow them to see it alone

And i divert thr attention to reading good stories & art books

And developing interests in arts is a good way of diversion & they will enjoy it too

And some indoor games too like carams,chess,or playing cards etc

Thats the way get their attention from these issues

Pls dont give them mbl or laps alone

I dont give my mbl to kid for playin games too

And  dont allow them to use internet without our attention.

We parents are the one responsible for most of their bad characters

We can try to make them understand the problems.

They will understood us.Thodi patience chahiye aur bahut saara pyaar bhi




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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 3:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by LoveOnlyAsYa


Sis, Vinita that's a brilliant topic. I totally relate to it
not because I come from a dual heritage but because my son will be one.



Sis knows am married to the man I loved, ignoring the fact that he was from a
different culture altogether. He's a Christian and I am a Hindu. When we fell
in love the last thing on our minds was what culture or religion our children
would follow.



But after we had the addition to our little family there were a lot of
insecurities that my husband and his family had regarding what religion the
little one would be taught. This definitely was an initial hiccup as they
belong to a minority in India and I come from a major religious group, hence
the insecurities. All settled soon as he was the first child in the family and brought
so much happiness to all of us. But what my point is that it's not just the
child that feels lost sometimes not understanding what he/she is supposed to
follow but parents also feel the same. Both want to teach the child their
respective cultures.



My son has been baptized so he can follow his father's religion (I have no
issues with that) but we have not kept him away from the fact that his mother
follows a different religion. He is well aware about the difference in both the
cultures and their practices.



The question that Sis asked "How much does having a dual heritage
affect ones identity, self-definition and ones understanding of ethnicities and
cultures within a diverse World?
" I don't have an answer to how
much it will affect ones identity or self definition because I have not
experienced it, but what I know is that if the child is taught well about both
the religions and cultures, then he is definitely going to be a stronger person,
understanding different cultures and would be more tolerant too. In the country
where I live, where practically every state follows a different culture, it
becomes very important that people develop that respect and tolerance for other
religions and cultures. This can only happen when families like mine teach the
child about both the cultures with an open mind.




For a second I thought I was reading my own life story LOL
I am in exactly the sane situation as you are. I am a Hindu. My husband is Christian. We had love marriage. His parents had lot of problem with our marriage. At last. I had to convert to Christianity in order for he to get marry.

Of course our children follows Christianity, but my kids have no knowledge about Hinduism. I am not allowed to teach them or practice my self. You have no idea how much bothered I get with all these things.

Before marriage I never thought about these issues? Sometimes I seriously wonder "was it all worth it?"

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 4:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by LoveOnlyAsYa


Sis, Vinita that's a brilliant topic. I totally relate to it
not because I come from a dual heritage but because my son will be one.



Sis knows am married to the man I loved, ignoring the fact that he was from a
different culture altogether. He's a Christian and I am a Hindu. When we fell
in love the last thing on our minds was what culture or religion our children
would follow.



But after we had the addition to our little family there were a lot of
insecurities that my husband and his family had regarding what religion the
little one would be taught. This definitely was an initial hiccup as they
belong to a minority in India and I come from a major religious group, hence
the insecurities. All settled soon as he was the first child in the family and brought
so much happiness to all of us. But what my point is that it's not just the
child that feels lost sometimes not understanding what he/she is supposed to
follow but parents also feel the same. Both want to teach the child their
respective cultures.



My son has been baptized so he can follow his father's religion (I have no
issues with that) but we have not kept him away from the fact that his mother
follows a different religion. He is well aware about the difference in both the
cultures and their practices.



The question that Sis asked "How much does having a dual heritage
affect ones identity, self-definition and ones understanding of ethnicities and
cultures within a diverse World?
" I don't have an answer to how
much it will affect ones identity or self definition because I have not
experienced it, but what I know is that if the child is taught well about both
the religions and cultures, then he is definitely going to be a stronger person,
understanding different cultures and would be more tolerant too. In the country
where I live, where practically every state follows a different culture, it
becomes very important that people develop that respect and tolerance for other
religions and cultures. This can only happen when families like mine teach the
child about both the cultures with an open mind.




For a second I thought I was reading my own life story LOL
I am in exactly the sane situation as you are. I am a Hindu. My husband is Christian. We had love marriage. His parents had lot of problem with our marriage. At last. I had to convert to Christianity in order for he to get marry.

Of course our children follows Christianity, but my kids have no knowledge about Hinduism. I am not allowed to teach them or practice my self. You have no idea how much bothered I get with all these things.

Before marriage I never thought about these issues? Sometimes I seriously wonder "was it all worth it?"


Awww Hug big huggie for you sweetheart.

We both know its difficult. My situation is a lot better here as I can practice my religion. But  can't teach my son. He knows a lot about my culture by seeing my parents perform puja and because I celebrate most of my festivals too.


My husband is a lot more understanding now but I too had to face a lot of difficulty where he felt a constant threat that my parents would pull the boy towards them and he won't follow Christianity. But as time passed he has now realized nothing like that would happen and is much more relaxed than earlier.


Vinita never think like that. You married for love and you have him with you. Rest whatever happens is what God wants for us. It definitely must be the best. Embrace everything with open arms and enjoy and cherish what you have.


Edited by LoveOnlyAsYa - 02 June 2014 at 4:59am

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 5:43am | IP Logged

I would've really liked to comment on the last topic, but alas... I missed the bus LOL

 

So I will give my two cents' worth for this topic.

 

I am the product of dual heritage... dual religion and dual cultures - and my son will be, too.

 

If anything, growing up that way has taught me to be open-minded and respect the world around me. Whether it be the two different religions that my parents practiced (my sister and I didn't follow any of these), or the religion my husband practices (I don't follow this either), or the clash between East and West that I constantly face, living outside of India.

 

Luckily for me, my parents have always been extremely liberal due to what they had to go through because of their own clashing cultures. 

Yesterday, they celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary. It was a wonderful example for my sister and I to grow up with. 

We were always taught that "Your religion doesn't make you a good person, your behaviour does" - and what a wonderful lesson it was!

 

We went to church and the temple alternatively but we were always given the choice to practice what we wanted to. My father was shunned by his community for marrying a Catholic girl, so we chose to have nothing to do with that culture. Church bored us, so we didn't choose that either.

 

Eventually, we decided that humanity and charity in its own name without a religious tag actually suited us best. 

 

My sister married a man who is fine with her beliefs. Unfortunately, his parents are not... but her husband is a darling who takes up his wife's cause. His parents may not be wrong in their place, but no one is going to change my sister's beliefs and neither is her husband ever going to try to do that.   

 

Also quite luckily, I am married to a man who also doesn't mind me not practicing what he does. He teaches our son what he wants to, religion-wise, and I am fine with that.

I focus on passing down knowledge about my son's Indian heritage and that includes language, history, music, food, etc.

I am aware this isn't everyone's ideal, but it works for me :-)

I have always had a good balance going, and I wouldn't change it for anything. 

I'm always willing to help someone. I walk a mile in someone else's shoes before I think anything else about any situation they're in.  I filter what I say so I don't hurt anyone. I'm optimistic, and a bit out there... 

And all of this is due to the diversity I'm surrounded with and the upbringing which I was fortunate enough to have. 


I like the way I am able to look at the world, and I hope the same for my son someday. 



Edited by Tamara27 - 02 June 2014 at 5:40am

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 6:11am | IP Logged
Humanity and charity in its own name.




Best policy to live by.



I like this very much.

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 6:50am | IP Logged
OH MY GOOD LORD!
 
This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.
I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL
 
I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.
He is a Catholic.
 
But I have a change in story here. I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.
 
Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL
 
My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smile Then court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.
 
10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regret one bit. Our fights are never bases on religion.
He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I ask him to do, I go to church with him.
 
My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.
 
I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them and we patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.
 
My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.
 
 
My point is the more we point out, complicate and segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no way going to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.
 
I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.
 
Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.
 
Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, which man or woman from which culture, Your eyes will haunt for "The Human" who is going to come to a rescue even if you chant the name of a specific god.
 
Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.
 
Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...
 

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 7:23am | IP Logged
Wow Juliettt.



All I got.


Filmy marriage! 5 times? You serious!?


And hot a$$. Sorry.



Snakes on a plane and Survivor.


I give you Life of Pi (it was on TV earlier). Yes. I want a human being.


A man with the name Richard Parker. Or Rajveer Patel Or Raheem Parwez. Or Wong Jun Kit. (Haha)


You judging me coz they're all guys name...?? Okay fine gimme Alicia, Alia Avantika. And Kang Mei Yee.


Not a tiger.




I want human.



We are race human.


I like you.


Okay now. I need to go eat. My neighbour aunty made Briyani. Diversity? Hah.




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