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The Yummy Mummy's of QH: Topic Six 01.07.14 - Pg 82 (Page 54)

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 4:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by LoveOnlyAsYa


Sis, Vinita that's a brilliant topic. I totally relate to it
not because I come from a dual heritage but because my son will be one.



Sis knows am married to the man I loved, ignoring the fact that he was from a
different culture altogether. He's a Christian and I am a Hindu. When we fell
in love the last thing on our minds was what culture or religion our children
would follow.



But after we had the addition to our little family there were a lot of
insecurities that my husband and his family had regarding what religion the
little one would be taught. This definitely was an initial hiccup as they
belong to a minority in India and I come from a major religious group, hence
the insecurities. All settled soon as he was the first child in the family and brought
so much happiness to all of us. But what my point is that it's not just the
child that feels lost sometimes not understanding what he/she is supposed to
follow but parents also feel the same. Both want to teach the child their
respective cultures.



My son has been baptized so he can follow his father's religion (I have no
issues with that) but we have not kept him away from the fact that his mother
follows a different religion. He is well aware about the difference in both the
cultures and their practices.



The question that Sis asked "How much does having a dual heritage
affect ones identity, self-definition and ones understanding of ethnicities and
cultures within a diverse World?
" I don't have an answer to how
much it will affect ones identity or self definition because I have not
experienced it, but what I know is that if the child is taught well about both
the religions and cultures, then he is definitely going to be a stronger person,
understanding different cultures and would be more tolerant too. In the country
where I live, where practically every state follows a different culture, it
becomes very important that people develop that respect and tolerance for other
religions and cultures. This can only happen when families like mine teach the
child about both the cultures with an open mind.




For a second I thought I was reading my own life story LOL
I am in exactly the sane situation as you are. I am a Hindu. My husband is Christian. We had love marriage. His parents had lot of problem with our marriage. At last. I had to convert to Christianity in order for he to get marry.

Of course our children follows Christianity, but my kids have no knowledge about Hinduism. I am not allowed to teach them or practice my self. You have no idea how much bothered I get with all these things.

Before marriage I never thought about these issues? Sometimes I seriously wonder "was it all worth it?"


Awww Hug big huggie for you sweetheart.

We both know its difficult. My situation is a lot better here as I can practice my religion. But  can't teach my son. He knows a lot about my culture by seeing my parents perform puja and because I celebrate most of my festivals too.


My husband is a lot more understanding now but I too had to face a lot of difficulty where he felt a constant threat that my parents would pull the boy towards them and he won't follow Christianity. But as time passed he has now realized nothing like that would happen and is much more relaxed than earlier.


Vinita never think like that. You married for love and you have him with you. Rest whatever happens is what God wants for us. It definitely must be the best. Embrace everything with open arms and enjoy and cherish what you have.


Edited by LoveOnlyAsYa - 02 June 2014 at 4:59am

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 5:43am | IP Logged

I would've really liked to comment on the last topic, but alas... I missed the bus LOL

 

So I will give my two cents' worth for this topic.

 

I am the product of dual heritage... dual religion and dual cultures - and my son will be, too.

 

If anything, growing up that way has taught me to be open-minded and respect the world around me. Whether it be the two different religions that my parents practiced (my sister and I didn't follow any of these), or the religion my husband practices (I don't follow this either), or the clash between East and West that I constantly face, living outside of India.

 

Luckily for me, my parents have always been extremely liberal due to what they had to go through because of their own clashing cultures. 

Yesterday, they celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary. It was a wonderful example for my sister and I to grow up with. 

We were always taught that "Your religion doesn't make you a good person, your behaviour does" - and what a wonderful lesson it was!

 

We went to church and the temple alternatively but we were always given the choice to practice what we wanted to. My father was shunned by his community for marrying a Catholic girl, so we chose to have nothing to do with that culture. Church bored us, so we didn't choose that either.

 

Eventually, we decided that humanity and charity in its own name without a religious tag actually suited us best. 

 

My sister married a man who is fine with her beliefs. Unfortunately, his parents are not... but her husband is a darling who takes up his wife's cause. His parents may not be wrong in their place, but no one is going to change my sister's beliefs and neither is her husband ever going to try to do that.   

 

Also quite luckily, I am married to a man who also doesn't mind me not practicing what he does. He teaches our son what he wants to, religion-wise, and I am fine with that.

I focus on passing down knowledge about my son's Indian heritage and that includes language, history, music, food, etc.

I am aware this isn't everyone's ideal, but it works for me :-)

I have always had a good balance going, and I wouldn't change it for anything. 

I'm always willing to help someone. I walk a mile in someone else's shoes before I think anything else about any situation they're in.  I filter what I say so I don't hurt anyone. I'm optimistic, and a bit out there... 

And all of this is due to the diversity I'm surrounded with and the upbringing which I was fortunate enough to have. 


I like the way I am able to look at the world, and I hope the same for my son someday. 



Edited by Tamara27 - 02 June 2014 at 5:40am

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 6:11am | IP Logged
Humanity and charity in its own name.




Best policy to live by.



I like this very much.

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 6:50am | IP Logged
OH MY GOOD LORD!
 
This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.
I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL
 
I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.
He is a Catholic.
 
But I have a change in story here. I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.
 
Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL
 
My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smile Then court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.
 
10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regret one bit. Our fights are never bases on religion.
He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I ask him to do, I go to church with him.
 
My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.
 
I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them and we patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.
 
My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.
 
 
My point is the more we point out, complicate and segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no way going to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.
 
I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.
 
Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.
 
Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, which man or woman from which culture, Your eyes will haunt for "The Human" who is going to come to a rescue even if you chant the name of a specific god.
 
Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.
 
Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...
 

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 7:23am | IP Logged
Wow Juliettt.



All I got.


Filmy marriage! 5 times? You serious!?


And hot a$$. Sorry.



Snakes on a plane and Survivor.


I give you Life of Pi (it was on TV earlier). Yes. I want a human being.


A man with the name Richard Parker. Or Rajveer Patel Or Raheem Parwez. Or Wong Jun Kit. (Haha)


You judging me coz they're all guys name...?? Okay fine gimme Alicia, Alia Avantika. And Kang Mei Yee.


Not a tiger.




I want human.



We are race human.


I like you.


Okay now. I need to go eat. My neighbour aunty made Briyani. Diversity? Hah.




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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 7:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Perfectionist2

OH MY GOOD LORD!
 
This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.
I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL
 
I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.
He is a Catholic.
 
But I have a change in story here. I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.
 
Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL
 
My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smile Then court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.
 
10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regret one bit. Our fights are never bases on religion.
He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I ask him to do, I go to church with him.
 
My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.
 
I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them and we patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.
 
My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.
 
 
My point is the more we point out, complicate and segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no way going to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.
 
I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.
 
Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.
 
Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, which man or woman from which culture, Your eyes will haunt for "The Human" who is going to come to a rescue even if you chant the name of a specific god.
 
Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.
 
Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...
 


Hey Juliet I didn't know you were married Shocked. but what a cocoincidence LOL

And agree we should teach our children humility and selflessness as that is what is going to make this world a better place.


You are lucky to have the support of your husband regarding choice of religion... Some aren't as lucky.

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 8:08am | IP Logged

Originally posted by farz_parachute

Wow Juliettt.



All I got.


Filmy marriage! 5 times? You serious!?


And hot a$$. Sorry.



Snakes on a plane and Survivor.


I give you Life of Pi (it was on TV earlier). Yes. I want a human being.


A man with the name Richard Parker. Or Rajveer Patel Or Raheem Parwez. Or Wong Jun Kit. (Haha)


You judging me coz they're all guys name...?? Okay fine gimme Alicia, Alia Avantika. And Kang Mei Yee.


Not a tiger.




I want human.



We are race human.


I like you.


Okay now. I need to go eat. My neighbour aunty made Briyani. Diversity? Hah.




You are funny as... but wah yes life of pi says it all...

how did i forget. it was just so apt for this discussion.

a$$ bolne per bhi arse hi rahta hai... yeah whatever... i prefer ass...hehe!

Why should I judge you bcos you said names of men.
you have confusiyed me now... le le are you quoting hinting the next topic...

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Posted: 02 June 2014 at 8:13am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Perfectionist2

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">OH MY GOOD LORD!</font>

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">This page has a lot of Hindus marriage to Christians.</font>

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I know Tamara is also one of us... And by us I mean... Present Mam' LOL</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I am a Hindu Bengali Brahmin.</font>

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He is a Catholic.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">But I have a change in story here.I married Five times unfortunately to the same man. Yeah my love story is just filmy.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Once in a Temple... Told him no Ahem Ahem business till I get my Sath Pera... He didn't want to say celibate for the rest of our married lifeLOL</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My laws are adorable lot but they have beliefs. Hubby not so much, he is more spiritual atheist versionConfused. So I married next in a church just to please his mum and I don't regret it. My Man scratched my back so I can at least pretend to use a loofah on his mums... I love my MIL by the way.Big smileThen court marriage, then my parents accepted and they had us married in a Bengali ritual and finally we had to register my marriage overseas so one more documented version.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">10 yrs of being with the hot ass and I don't regretone bit. Our fights are never bases on religion. </font>

<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">He comes to the temple with me, did every ritual I askhim todo,I go to church with him.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My kid has been baptized but we also did the anaprashan.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I have a temple at home. But we practice no specific religion. My kid has questions a lot of them andwe patiently answer them. But overseas some of the friends follow no religion at all. So now comes another question like Vegetarianism. Goat eats grass and I eat goat so I am vegan.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My hubby has a large group of Uni friends who are Muslims. And my kid is absolutely close to them to a point where we discuss with kids the similarities of every culture and religion. So get the picture, how crazy are kinds are going to be. And btw we also have two Buddhists in our friends circle.</font>



<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">My point is the more we point out, complicateand segregate the more confused the future generations will be. I am in no waygoing to ever point out this religion is better than the other cos it is not. Same applies to culture and race. Why do you think there are so many issues with racism because a certain person's upbringing is to blame. If only we get past all of these issues of mundane minds, the world would be a much better place.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">I will teach my kids the common selflessness and humility that every culture and religions brings along. I will teach her to be independent and drill it in her that she has a choice and her choice will be respected.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Ultimately I will know I have done my self proud as a mum.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Have you seen the movie snakes in a plane or the Survivor, Will you care which God came to save you, whichman or woman from which culture,Your eyes will hauntfor "The Human" who is going to come to a rescueeven if youchant the name of a specific god.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman, Times, serif">Believe in humanity people. And love that song - heal the world.</font>


<font size="4" face="Times New Roman">Dhanyawad! Aaj ke liya bahut ho gaya...</font>



Hey Juliet,

First I am really shocked to know that you have children Shocked

I am equally surprised to know that we are all in a same situation Smile

But here is the twist: while you can freely practice you own religion and keep a temple at home. I can't. Or I should say, I am not allowed to. If I want to go to temple, I just go sneakingly. My hubby doesn't have any problem but he doesn't want his parents to find out. My MIL lives with us..I can't practice my own religion freely in my own home.

I am sorry but this is a frustrating situation for me. Fine, they don't want our kids to follow but why me? I feel like an idiot. I married the same guy three times too. Court marriage which no one attended it except us. Got marry in a temple where his family didn't come. Got marry in the church which my family didn't attend. Three marriage with the same guy and not even one time I was whole heartedly happy :(

I never thought these things will bother me so much in future. I guess I was too blind in love    LOL

Vinita

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