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The Yummy Mummy's of QH: Topic Six 01.07.14 - Pg 82 (Page 48)

Gulaabo IF-Sizzlerz
Gulaabo
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Posted: 26 May 2014 at 1:32am | IP Logged
Yes u r absolutely right...
I want to share one incident that happened with my friend at the time when we were in class 7. My friend tanaya was a very extrovert person. She easily talked to people who were complete strangers. At that time orkut was very popular. She added her pics...that way a boy (that's what he told us) started chatting with her...who said that he lived in USA. After many weeks of chatting, he started telling her that he's in love with her n wants to meet her on his next trip to india. She wasreally tense and her behaviour showed that...she became extremely irritable and on much coaxing she told me the reason. She gave me her id n pwd and that day i realised what a sherni i am!! Lol...
I gave him an earful...i behaved like an adult and implied that someone close to me is in police department. Poor guy, he was scared.
Then we somehow blocked his account and from that day i never looked back to that awful site.
Now also, i am on fb but i really befriend those whom i know personally. I even keep a check on my little brother's account and advise him to do the same.
I think putting parental control is not a solution because kids these days are even smarter than their parents...they could easily find out a solution. The only solution according to me is that elders talk about the merits and demerits of internet and social networks.  They must be warned about the threats loitering over there and so much trust should be between the parents n kids that if something wrong is happening, the kid could easily share their fears...

Really a worthy topic didis...waiting to read more of views.

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raneeb IF-Stunnerz
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Posted: 26 May 2014 at 2:48am | IP Logged
Sorry forgot I had this page open!



Edited by raneeb - 26 May 2014 at 10:18am
BeYourself IF-Sizzlerz
BeYourself
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Posted: 26 May 2014 at 3:12am | IP Logged
Saima Di and Vinita Di...  

the topic for this week is absolutely awesome..Clap

i would like to share my opinion on it...

I am 22 now.. and have been a part of many Social Networking Sites since i was 13...i did change my age at that time and created an account, just like every other girl of my age had done...

i had talked about it with my mom, and she was the person to guide me and fill me in with all the pros and cons of being a part of a SNS... 

everything was unknown to me at that time, and i myself had a fear of making my life so public.. hence,  i had no pictures of my own, and did not accept any friend req from any unknown person...

i don't accept it even now...

So... ya.. my mom played a big role in teaching me my limits... and that was possible because she had always given me the liberty to choose my own way.. She became my best friend and adapted  herself according to me...

The word 'Generation Gap' had never existed between us... it doesn't exist even now...
She tries to understand me a little and i too do the same Tongue

So... all this was never a problem for me...

And ya... don't think that my mom interfered in every move of mine when i used to be a kid LOL
I have mostly stayed alone till now.. LOL

She gave me my space, yet guided me through out Approve
And she does the same even now Embarrassed



Edited by BeYourself - 26 May 2014 at 3:13am

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Posted: 26 May 2014 at 4:20am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Saima-Syed

Originally posted by QueenOfMyCastle

Anwer - Of course.
I am shocked at how many kids have access to stuff on internet that is obviously not meant for them. FB has a minimum age requirement, yet so many kids are online with fake birth dates (projecting themselves to be older than their real age, but with real pictures thus becoming easy targets) and even though the parent is aware, there is really no restriction on such stuff. I have cousins who are guilty of this.

Parental locks, timed usage of internet, these are some of the tools parents can use, unfortunately either they are not aware of these or are negligent to use them.

As our horizons expand with new technologies and SM offerings, our education as parents should also expand proportionally. And honestly the ONUS is ON US. It is one thing to take pride in the fact that ur 2 year old can operate you tube (mine does) but it is just as important to have correct settings and a listening ear available to make sure they do no access stuff not meant for them.

In today';s day and age where no one is safe anywhere, internet gives an opportunity for the criminal minded greater access to you and your psyche.

A note about the IF forums - something that bothers me a lot. There are a lot of kids here. Some are mature but more are just that...kids. In the past, I have seen them getting swayed by a handful of people to indulge in activities that are borderline criminal. I hope that us (moms on this group) take a lesson from this and keep an eye not only on our kids usage of SM sites but also such forums. The key open communication between parents and kids from a very young age so that they are never afraid to share their thoughts and feelings with us

Rivs

PS: great topic vinita and Saima. Sorry for the long essay.



Thank you so much Rivs, that's exactly what we did want an essay lol

I totally agree with you. As parents the onus is on us and it's a shame that we don't exercise our powers as parents to stop or monitor what goes on, and like you said it is either through negligence or because parents don't know how to.

Things that really scare me are and I have come across in my own line of work with young people are issues like cyber bullying, grooming of young girls by sick men, accessing mature content and misusing it and creating groups that attract vulnerable young people who end up making suicide pacts.

Cyber world is as real and as dangerous as the real one we live in.

Yes the key is open communication with our children and other parents, something that we need to encourage more of

Thank you for sharing your views

Smile


Thank you so much Rivs for sharing your views with us. I absolutely agree to everything you have said. Especially, "the key is open communication with our children and other parents, something that we need to encourage more of".

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Posted: 26 May 2014 at 4:29am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rajnid68

Rivs..u said it all...and fully agree with u..
yep..as sincere parents we need to keep an eye open as to what sites our kids are visiting..our kids might think that we are meddling and invading their space. but we are here to see that they don't burn their fingers .they think that they are a mature a lot..and yes we trust them..but that niggling feeling of something untoward happening...puts us parents on high alert.
now a days kids would rather discuss with their friends or surf the net for the information.. but certain topics need to be discussed with parents for the right information...
with so many serials on air how web has led a wrong being done...kids still feel that instead of listening to parents and keeping them in the loop of their where about and friends...they are mature enough to handle the world...
its different inside the four walls of the house...but outside its a different world altogether..


I absolutely agree with you a Rajni. Kids might think that we are interfering in their lives but as parents it's our responsibility to teach them the ways of life.

I can totally understand from their POV too and why they rather discuss their problems with friends and not their parents. When I was at their I did the same thing.

But now as a parent, I want to build a stronger and friendlier relationship with my kids. I do not want them to be afraid to share anything with me. I keep telling them if they are in some problem ... Mamma will help them solve it Smile

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vinita459 Goldie
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Posts: 1927

Posted: 26 May 2014 at 4:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Crazy4AsYa-

Yes u r absolutely right...
I want to share one incident that happened with my friend at the time when we were in class 7. My friend tanaya was a very extrovert person. She easily talked to people who were complete strangers. At that time orkut was very popular. She added her pics...that way a boy (that's what he told us) started chatting with her...who said that he lived in USA. After many weeks of chatting, he started telling her that he's in love with her n wants to meet her on his next trip to india. She wasreally tense and her behaviour showed that...she became extremely irritable and on much coaxing she told me the reason. She gave me her id n pwd and that day i realised what a sherni i am!! Lol...
I gave him an earful...i behaved like an adult and implied that someone close to me is in police department. Poor guy, he was scared.
Then we somehow blocked his account and from that day i never looked back to that awful site.
Now also, i am on fb but i really befriend those whom i know personally. I even keep a check on my little brother's account and advise him to do the same.
I think putting parental control is not a solution because kids these days are even smarter than their parents...they could easily find out a solution. The only solution according to me is that elders talk about the merits and demerits of internet and social networks. They must be warned about the threats loitering over there and so much trust should be between the parents n kids that if something wrong is happening, the kid could easily share their fears...

Really a worthy topic didis...waiting to read more of views.


Thank you for sharing this story with us. And I am really proud of you that you've helped your friend who was in need:)

I know many such incidents like this actually happen in real. Girls and boys do meet after few days of chatting online. This message is specially for girls: Please 'do not meet' strangers if they've asked you to meet in private. This is a very dangerous situation :(

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rajnid68 IF-Sizzlerz
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Posts: 21131

Posted: 26 May 2014 at 5:18am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vinita459

Originally posted by rajnid68

Rivs..u said it all...and fully agree with u..
yep..as sincere parents we need to keep an eye open as to what sites our kids are visiting..our kids might think that we are meddling and invading their space. but we are here to see that they don't burn their fingers .they think that they are a mature a lot..and yes we trust them..but that niggling feeling of something untoward happening...puts us parents on high alert.
now a days kids would rather discuss with their friends or surf the net for the information.. but certain topics need to be discussed with parents for the right information...
with so many serials on air how web has led a wrong being done...kids still feel that instead of listening to parents and keeping them in the loop of their where about and friends...they are mature enough to handle the world...
its different inside the four walls of the house...but outside its a different world altogether..


I absolutely agree with you a Rajni. Kids might think that we are interfering in their lives but as parents it's our responsibility to teach them the ways of life.

I can totally understand from their POV too and why they rather discuss their problems with friends and not their parents. When I was at their I did the same thing.

But now as a parent, I want to build a stronger and friendlier relationship with my kids. I do not want them to be afraid to share anything with me. I keep telling them if they are in some problem ... Mamma will help them solve it Smile
i had a strong base due to my mum..
and am trying to lay the same foundation for my daughters...
anything under the sun...been frank to explain to them...
now the topic floating around is rape and contraceptives...
and girl do i have to do my homework...
as i dont want to be caught offguard...
and the best part is...during these discussions hubby is red faced..but now opening up slowly..
no choice as it is 3 to 1...ha ha ha 
  what a topic...Hug Hug..for u S and  V


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GitaIyer IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 26 May 2014 at 5:47am | IP Logged
Thats' a very relevant topic for discussion, Vinita and Saima.
Internet is a boon as well as bane. Fully agree that as parents, it is our responsibility to ensure that we are aware of what kids view. Completely restricting is also not an option. 
 
Using parental controls and other filter conditions will help only so much. With kids as young as 8 and 9 creating programs, am sure these controls can be easily overpowered. Personal supervision and open communication is the need of the hour.
Supervision, which should not sound and feel like supervision. 
Communication which should be two-way.
In case of smaller kids, its best to engage them in outside play and sports. Even if a kid doesn't study everyday, its fine. But make sure that kids do play everyday with their friends. Not inside the home, but outside in the playground or garden. 

In case of bigger kids, I guess being their friend. A lil bit of letting go, a lil bit of being strict. 
And most importantly setting an example as parents. We ourselves have to reduce the phone and computer surfing and online chatting. 



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