@K & Angie
I agree. It is not the festival, but scumbags to blame when things go wrong. I think it is the same with every religion and ritual. It can be made into a positive experience or a negative experience depending on who is practicing. That is why I don't say Karva chauth in itself is negative or a social evil. For many people it is a positive joyous experience. But at the same time there is a risk of it being turned negative.
I try to rationalize based on everyone's input.
Why succumb to misogyny and patriarchy.
It isn't misogyny or patriarchy, it is something a woman willingly does to make herself, her marriage and husband seem special.
But why have a one sided practice that can lead to misinterpretation and abuse.
Why blame the ritual, when it is the individual who is doing
the wrong.
But why give even a single opportunity.
Scumbags don't need an opportunity. They will find other excuses to abuse.
Still, isn't it better to be safer and avoid the issue.
Isn't it unfair to deny women their freedom to choose simply because some people are abusive.
What about pressure that isn't as blatant. Social pressure to comply. The perception that women who don't follow ritual, don't care for their marriage.
Same thing, why deny freedom of choice because some people make things negative. Besides there is nothing that really exists without social pressures and assumptions.
While I tend to be apprehensive about it, I understand where people are coming from. As a libertarian myself, I completely empathize with the fact that it is never right or fair to take away a human's freedom of choice - unless there some grave harm or evil.
I'm neutral to Karva Chauth. I don't consider it as a social evil or wrong. It doesn't appeal to me simply because of my rigidly rationalist and egalitarian perceptions. Even though karva chauth isn't celebrated in my community, I've seen women in my family keep vata savitri fasts. So I understand the sentiment women have around such celebrations. I even have a couple friends for whom karva chauth is a special occasion every year and I truly respect those sentiments. At the same time I also empathize with those who are wary of karva chauth. Majority of my friends don't believe in most rituals and a few feel pressurized by in-laws that they ought to keep the fast. On occasion there seems to be judgment that women who don't keep the ritual don't care about their marriages or relationships or are not good wives, which is unfair. That is where the idealism that the ritual must be done away or change comes from, but I realize that it isn't feasible or fair.
I don't expect women to stop keeping karva chauth or forcing men to partake in it. What I do expect is that participants be cognizant of the risks of negative interpretations, acknowledge it and make efforts to keep the ritual evolving in a positive direction. Also to avoid pressuring or judging those who may not believe in it. At the same time yes, those who don't keep karva chauth should perhaps avoid making their non participation a negative experience. They should also avoid pressuring or judging women who do choose to keep karva chauth.
My biggest frustration is that people seem unwilling to address the potential negatives. And yes, I get that women who keep kava chauth are also sick and tired of being judged negatively as well. That is why I guess good dialogue is important to see where both sides are coming from.
