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RaYa's new: ajab prem ki gazab kahani updated on pg-141,PREVIEW-149

peeyara IF-Rockerz
peeyara
peeyara

Joined: 01 September 2012
Posts: 9341

Posted: 16 October 2013 at 10:05am | IP Logged

Hi everyone! this is my new story, a concept came to my mind so i have write it down.please give your feedback. hope you'll like it.

In a restaurant, a couple was eagerly waiting for someone.

"ye fatty abhi tak kyun nahi aaya", a lady shouted

"relax Neha, traffic mai phas gaya hoga, abhi aa jayega", a man tried to calm her down.

Neha sharma is fun loving, full of life and little immature. She assumes every thing before hand only and believes her assumptions only. She is friend of Ram n madly in love with Vikram.

"call him right now Vikram", lady demanded

Vikram Shergill, best friend of Ram n his business associate. He is mature, calm n composed but always ends up supporting Neha's immature ideas, inspite of knowing their worst outcomes, for the sake of his love. 

"dekho there he is", vikram pointed in that direction.

A man was coming in their direction, murmuring something. He reaches table n makes himself comfortable on a chair.

Neha shouts at him, "ek ghanta bola tha aur poore do ghante baad aaraha hai tu"

Vikram asks him, "itni der kaha kardi tu ne Ram"

Ram irritatedly, "mera mood pehle se off hai, pls tum dono chup raho warna"

Neha: warna kya kar loge tum

Ram with same tone, "mai teri help nahi karunga"

Neha angrily: aise kaise help nahi karega

Vikram interferes: tum dono ladna bandh karo... Ram tu bata tera mood kyun off hai

Ram: kuch nahi yaar, bahar parking mai ek ladki mili

listening the word 'ladki', Neha excitedly asks "kaisi thi ladki? Khoobsurat thi? Tujhe acchi lagi?"

Ram stares Neha angrily and Neha stops her rapid fire.

Neha: sorry... You continue

Ram: thank you...bahar ek ladki se jhagda hogaya, itni badtameez ladki maine apni life mai nahi dekhi, agli bar wo mere samne aayi toh pata nahi mai kya kar baithunga...kitna kuch suna diya usne mujhe

Neha in astonishment: kya baat kar raha hai fatty, usne teri The Ram Kapoor ki insult ki, har ladki toh tujhse bada sweetly milti hai toh phir ye kaise? I would like to meet her

Ram: agar tu ne meri insult karli toh hum jis kaam ke liye aaye hai wo karle

Neha: haan bilkul

Ram Kapoor is an industrialist and owner of KI. His mother n grandmother have settled in their ancestrol village but they keep visiting him. He is still waiting for his Ms. Perfect. He do get many marriage proposals but he didn't like single girl. Since the every girl he meets are ready to change themselves for him, all they do is try to impress him  by doing the things he like n fake themselves. But he is in search of a girl who'll not change herself for anyone, not even for him. She should  be independent, mature, understanding and ofcourse beautiful.

Ram: kuch socha hai kya karna hai

Neha: haan socha hai, tu meri shaadi ke liye ek mahine pehle mere ghar aaja

Ram: pagal hogayi hai kya, tere papa mujhe 'ek ladke' ko apne ghar pe rakhenge

Neha: tumhare saath ek ladki bhi hogi na, mai papa se bol dungi k tum dono mere dost ho aur mumbai ghumne aaye ho

Ram: tere papa maan jayenge?

Neha: wo mujhpe chod de

Ram: aur ladki kaha se aayegi

Vikram: ladki mil gayi hai

Ram: kaun? Hamari toh koi female friend nahi hai

Vikram: meri hai, i mean meri ek family friend hai aur hamari help karne ko ready hai

Ram: hai kaha wo?

Vikram: bas aati hi hogi...aagayi

Neha n Ram looks in the direction where vikram was looking.

A lady in jeans paired with a yellow top, a white stole around her neck, her hairs tied in high pony waves at Vikram smilingly.

Neha: mujhe nahi pata tha Vikram k other than me koi aur khoobsurat ladki tumse dosti

karegi

  Priya Sharma, an ambitious girl, is Vikram's family friend. Her parents passed away years ago and after that she left her house. She never stays in a city for more than 15 days. She don't decide or plan anything in advance, she likes to go with the flow of life. She has left her marriage on destiny, she believes love n marriage will happen whenever they are destine to happen. She dont socialise much n keeps low profile. Very few people knows that she is owner of Sharma Educational Trust, a trust which helps the poor children in pursuing education. Vikram accidentally bumped into her two days back n persuaded her to help him out from a problem and she readily agreed.

Vikram to Neha: matlab kya hai tumhara? Mujhse toh har ladki dosti karne ko tayyar hoti hai par tumhari wajah se mai kisi ladki se dosti nahi karta

Neha: oh really

The smile on the Priya's face vanished as she noticed Ram beside Vikram.

She murmurs, "oh God! Not again, yeh phirse"

Same was the expression of Ram. "ye hai Vikram ki dost! Ram control your anger". He starts drinking water to control his anger.

Few minutes back in parking:

A lady accidentally hits the car which was infront of her car. The car was parked wrongly n the lady continously buzzed the horn to get the attention of driver but in vain and that resulted in collision of two cars.

A man came out of the car and starts shouting at the lady.

Man: in ladkiyo ko theek se drive karne nahi aata toh pata nahi kyu drive karti hai

Lady: excuse me, aapko theek se drive karna nahi aata

M: what do you mean?

L: u heard it right, ek toh car galat jagah park ki, upar se aapko horn ki awaz sunayi nahi di...galti khud ki aur mujhe suna rahe hai

M angrily: tum janti ho tum kis se baat kar rahi ho?

L : haan janti hoon... Ek nihayati badtameez insan aur careless driver se

M angrily: tum ne mujhe driver kaha

L: kyu aapko kam sunayi deta hai kya

Man stamps his foot on ground n replies: tumhari khatara ne meri nayi car damage kardi

L angrily: aapki laparwahi se meri car ka nuksan hua

Man takes out money and gives it to lady to get her car repaired.

Lady returns the money saying, "meri khatara car ab bhi chalne layak hai, aap in paiso se apni nayi car repair karwa lijiye aur haan kisi acche driving school se driving seekh lena". Saying this, she disappears from his sight.

Priya greets them all and hugs Vikram briefly. Vikram introduces her to Ram n Neha.

Priya: batao Vikram, what's the plan?

Neha: mai batati hoon

Neha starts narrating the plan to Priya. Meanwhile, Priya takes a glass of water and in the process she spills some water on table, she wipes the table n keeps the napkin on table itself. After drinking water, she wipes her mouth with her bare hand.

Ram was noticing her every action and giving weird expressions. He was thinking how a person can be so messy. He can't take it anymore, so he announces, "mai is ladki ke saath ek pal ke liye nahi reh sakta"

Neha: par kyun?

Ram: nahi reh sakta matlab nahi reh sakta

Priya: mujhe bhi koi shoq nahi hai aapke saath rehne ka

Neha: ek minute...kya tum dono pehle se ek dusre ko jante hai

Ram: mai isey acche se janta hoon... Ye wahi parking wali ladki hai, Ms. Attitude

Priya: wow, i am pleased to know that but mai aapko nahi janti aur na hi janna chahti hoon... Mr.  Careless Driver

Ram: tumne phirse mujhe driver kaha

Neha whispers to Vikram to come with her for some time

Neha: ye aise ladte rahe toh hamari help kya karenge

Vikram: pata nahi...kyu na hum tumhare papa se hi direct baat karle

Neha: pagal hogaye ho kya, papa kabhi nahi maane ge

Vikram irritatedly: tum ne pehle se hi sab assume kar liya, ek bar baat karke dekh lete hai, shayad wo maan jaye

Neha: wo papa kiske hai?

Vikram: tumhare

Neha: toh unhe mujhse behtar koi jaanta hoga?

Vikram: nahi

Neha: hamara plan perfect hai, chalo un dono ka jhagda khatam karwate hai, kahin wo iss restaurant ko krukshetra na bana de

Vikram n Neha goes back to their table.

Vikram: please guys ek bar meri baat sunlo

Ram n Priya stops their argument and listens to him.

Vikram: kya tum dono hamari help ke liye apna jhagda bhul sakte ho

Priya: as i have promised to help you, i'll definitely help you

Vikram: thank you... Ram tu?

Ram: obviously yaar i'll do anything for you two, but ek condition hai ye ladki mujhse 5 kadam dur honi chahiye

Priya: aap mujhse 10 kadam dur ho toh mere liye hi accha hoga

Neha: ok guys dont start again, khane ke liye kuch order kare

Vikram: bilkul, jhagda karke in dono ki energy jo khatam hogayi hogi

They place the order n completes the food in silence. After finishing the food, Neha says them that they'll  work on their plan from 2mrw onwards.

Neha: Priya kal tumhe fatty mere ghar le aayega

Ram: mai kyu? Wo khud aajayegi

Neha: kyunki mai keh rahi ho n it's final... Priya u fine with it na?

Priya: ya...toh kal milte hai, bye... (to Ram) kal time se aa jaana Driver

n she goes from there.

Ram: arrghhh... Phirse driver, Ek mahina kaise jheluga mai isey

Neha n Vikram laughs at him.

Vikram: pehli bar koi takkar ki ladki mili hai tujhe

Ram smiles: haan...chalta hoon abhi, bye

(Neha n Priya, both share same surname 'sharma' but they are not related to each other, no blood relation between them)

What is Neha n Vikram's plan? What actually they are upto? You'll know it in next update.

Note: i know it was short update. I have typed it whenever i was free n in mood to write.I wanted to know the opinion of the readers k whether they like it or not. Depending on the response, i'll update the next part(that too in November, not this month) and will decide to make it FF/SS/OS and as usual i need suggestions for naming it, only if you all want me to continue it.

Waiting for the feedback n comments.


part-2 on 18

part-3 on 28

part-4 on 38

part-5 on 47

part-6 on 57

part-7 on 67

part-8 on 79

part-9 on 92

part-10 on 100

part-11 on 117

part-12 on 127

part-13 on 141


link to second thread: http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3854475



Edited by peeyara - 20 December 2013 at 9:43am

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shailza01rashmiaroraalfyakanshacSakshiashukiranookalasree0007priyarayaneema.khudarathic_2000jmehta1957varshathakkarRaya_somezeylanicaitsmeg3mishraapoorva14SharmiRayaBasuRAYAFAN2sampa123dilini2deekshasxnDiehardRaYafannntthanichillpcShazK.123Dsudipaanupam_dillalmadhukaparikh1lpsakshisinalbestBALHLOVER..RareGem..aanchaltulshansandhyasn.sangs123.123fizaleena04jineejiggsluvsakshivironikajain

ShazK.123 Goldie
ShazK.123
ShazK.123

Joined: 07 September 2013
Posts: 1717

Posted: 16 October 2013 at 10:28am | IP Logged
Finally a new story from you! Smile
I definitely want you to continue... This part was very interesting and loved the parking lot and restaurant jagra
Lekin agar 5 kadum aur 10 kadum dur honge toh romance kaise karenge? LOL

Looking forward to your next update! November is very far away :-(

Thanks for the PM Smile

Edited by ShazK.123 - 16 October 2013 at 11:41am

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peeyara

sandhyasn IF-Rockerz
sandhyasn
sandhyasn

Joined: 08 April 2012
Posts: 8733

Posted: 16 October 2013 at 11:00am | IP Logged
superb yaar
loved the introduction..aur Raya jagda hamesha achha hi hota hai...
wow..dono kisi se bhi kam nahi...yeh dono mill jaaye toh sach mein yeh dono uss jagah ko kurushetra bana dengeLOL
Ram tum jhelo matt jhelo...mein toh bilkul ready hoon...aapki iss story ko sunne meinTongue
FF ka naam kya hai...
please continue ji..and thanks for PM

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peeyara

123fiza IF-Sizzlerz
123fiza
123fiza

Joined: 06 April 2012
Posts: 11980

Posted: 16 October 2013 at 11:22am | IP Logged
Superb begining...loved it...ram vik and neha's frndship is too good...spclly neha...n raya...their fighting chemistry is awesome...LOL driver ...
Thanks fr d pm ...cont soon

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peeyara

sinalbest IF-Dazzler
sinalbest
sinalbest

Joined: 17 November 2012
Posts: 2847

Posted: 16 October 2013 at 11:25am | IP Logged
Hi Naseem Smile

Lovely concept.. Clap Star
Superbly written.. Clap Star
This parking scene reminded me Ishq movie Wink LOL

thanks for pm
continue soon.. Smile

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peeyara

RAYAFAN2 Senior Member
RAYAFAN2
RAYAFAN2

Joined: 20 April 2013
Posts: 338

Posted: 16 October 2013 at 11:46am | IP Logged
awsome awsome u hv to carry on

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peeyara

chillpc Goldie
chillpc
chillpc

Joined: 25 March 2013
Posts: 2162

Posted: 16 October 2013 at 12:02pm | IP Logged
pls contn soon..
this is awesome...!!!!

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peeyara

bpatil3 IF-Rockerz
bpatil3
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Joined: 14 December 2012
Posts: 7144

Posted: 16 October 2013 at 12:12pm | IP Logged
Thx for the pm.
Fully fun dono ladakhu.LOL Ye dono hi dono ko jhel sakte hai koi aur nhi issiliye kahina kahi takraajaate haiLOLLOL
Its funny. Good

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peeyara

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