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Rob a person???

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---Sonia---

IF-Dazzler

---Sonia---

Joined: 15 April 2011

Posts: 4488

Posted: 05 October 2013 at 12:38pm | IP Logged
Hi everyone

This is going to be my first post here which I am making.

I want to ask you everyone that if you see a NRI person, what is your thoughts?

I am asking this because I feel that everytime a NRI person comes to India after long time, the person brings gifts for them later spent money on their relatives. and then give money them. Okey, because this NRI  person has come this person has to bring his own money to spent and give some to their relatives as thanks.

But later if a relatives comes from India and brings also gifts but they have not brought moeny with them and the NRI person has to again spent money on relative. buy what she wants because she has told. and you cant say no because if you do then they will be angry as always.

So I want to again ask you this is right?
I mean what most people forget is this person who is a NRI has to work to survie and later pay bills and that.

just because a person is a NRI does not mean that they are rich or have lost of money.

sprry if I have hurt someone feelings but I feel that sometimes the NRI person get robs by their own so call family.

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Bazigar

Goldie

Bazigar

Joined: 01 July 2013

Posts: 1149

Posted: 05 October 2013 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
 
It look like a saas bahu conflict :)

1. This is basic courtesy in a family relationship if u equal that to robbing then there is no need to maintain such relations and cry foul.

2. It is basic courtesy that in a family relations, it is expected that whoever is in well to do situation normally spend and bear the financial aspect while visiting to them or they visit you. If you are not comfortable then you should not visit them.  

3. If you are not comfortable to spend on other then you should tell the truth and reason clearly. Instead they have the perception that you are financially sound (which normally people have on NRI ) . We are becoming more pretentious, self centered now a days. Sorry if i am sound rude.

---Sonia---

IF-Dazzler

---Sonia---

Joined: 15 April 2011

Posts: 4488

Posted: 06 October 2013 at 4:26am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ramjaane

 
It look like a saas bahu conflict :)

1. This is basic courtesy in a family relationship if u equal that to robbing then there is no need to maintain such relations and cry foul.

It is easy to say that there is no need to maintain such relationship but it is really hard to follow. in the end they are your sisters or brothers. mothers or fathers and there is no way that you can just end it.

2. It is basic courtesy that in a family relations, it is expected that whoever is in well to do situation normally spend and bear the financial aspect while visiting to them or they visit you. If you are not comfortable then you should not visit them.

maybe you need to read again the post because I have already wrote that if a NRI person or any person who comes to vist their famliy should always bring their own money. Instead looking at the other person who you are staying and thinks that person has right over the money you have worked so hard for. the worst thing you cant even say no if this person says this are tthe things which I need because if you do and make them understand that we not have that much money then they get angry. Do you think that is right?

3. If you are not comfortable to spend on other then you should tell the truth and reason clearly. Instead they have the perception that you are financially sound (which normally people have on NRI ) . We are becoming more pretentious, self centered now a days. Sorry if i am sound rude.

What if you have already told the person? and the person does not understand and instead she still buying thinks which sometimes you have foced to pay. it is true. just because you are a NRI does not mean that you are rich or have lots of money.

All I am trying to say is NRI or not NRI if you vist someone home when bring your own money and dont look t someones money and think you have a right. I work on a cafe and then study. how much money do you think I make? Not that much. every person has to survie and think on their own home.

my point for this post is that NRI are not rich or have lost of money. they are middle class people. it is just we not live in India.

Thank you








Edited by ---Sonia--- - 06 October 2013 at 4:27am

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Bazigar

Bazigar

Goldie

Bazigar

Joined: 01 July 2013

Posts: 1149

Posted: 06 October 2013 at 5:22am | IP Logged
Sorry i misread situation and intention of the post. sometime relatives are too demanding by having preconcieved notion without understanding others position. May be u can explain them politely.

Edited by ramjaane - 06 October 2013 at 5:31am

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---Sonia---

Desigirl_21

Coolbie

Desigirl_21

Joined: 28 September 2013

Posts: 4268

Posted: 10 October 2013 at 2:23am | IP Logged
I understand your post I am an NRI myself and I have faced similar situations. What I feel is that many people have this preconceived notion and stereotype from different mediums such as media, films, newspapers that all NRI's have money on their trees. At times the demands become so high that it is impossible to fulfill but you want to so that they don't feel bad after all they r family. That's the thing it's like a vicious circle, I believe in families we shuld all set up some early boundaries so that no feel the stress and everyone can live peacefully. 
I really hope I have not offended anyone, just my point of view

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---Sonia---

---Sonia---

IF-Dazzler

---Sonia---

Joined: 15 April 2011

Posts: 4488

Posted: 10 October 2013 at 12:23pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Desigirl_21

I understand your post I am an NRI myself and I have faced similar situations. What I feel is that many people have this preconceived notion and stereotype from different mediums such as media, films, newspapers that all NRI's have money on their trees. At times the demands become so high that it is impossible to fulfill but you want to so that they don't feel bad after all they r family. That's the thing it's like a vicious circle, I believe in families we shuld all set up some early boundaries so that no feel the stress and everyone can live peacefully. 
I really hope I have not offended anyone, just my point of view


You are really right:)

thanks for understanding:)

Bazigar

Goldie

Bazigar

Joined: 01 July 2013

Posts: 1149

Posted: 13 October 2013 at 7:02am | IP Logged
@ Sonia sorry if it sound personal, i really appriciate u for sharing ur genuine response . There is a certain perception on NRI life. It is due to many factors where people forget all living the same life albiet a different comfort level. Regarding solution : For distance relative never care or give two hoot when they try to become demanding . For own sibling and parents spend till u r comfortable. To avoid unnecessry demand before they hv expection u hv to shatter ur image, u can share how difficult to live NRI life , how everything costly, credit card , rent , loans etc and there is no chance of saving ,how u urself urgently need money for different obligation ( artificially make up few things how it is difficult life) :). make the situation till like they hv to think before having unreasonable expectation. u may loose the image of rich but u will nt loose the relations :)

Edited by ramjaane - 13 October 2013 at 8:23am

---Sonia---

IF-Dazzler

---Sonia---

Joined: 15 April 2011

Posts: 4488

Posted: 13 October 2013 at 8:49am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ramjaane

@ Sonia sorry if it sound personal, i really appriciate u for sharing ur genuine response . There is a certain perception on NRI life. It is due to many factors where people forget all living the same life albiet a different comfort level. Regarding solution : For distance relative never care or give two hoot when they try to become demanding . For own sibling and parents spend till u r comfortable. To avoid unnecessry demand before they hv expection u hv to shatter ur image, u can share how difficult to live NRI life , how everything costly, credit card , rent , loans etc and there is no chance of saving ,how u urself urgently need money for different obligation ( artificially make up few things how it is difficult life) :). make the situation till like they hv to think before having unreasonable expectation. u may loose the image of rich but u will nt loose the relations :)


You are right but not everyone thinks like that and also I have seen and I dont want to be rude but some people only know to take and never give back. They want to take from you but then it time to give the person who has given you so much, they get angry. Let be honset, when we NRI need money, I really dont think a person who lives in India will help because a they will say how they are poor and dont have any money. But if a person who lives in India are in need of money and ask a NRI then we have to help them. that is the true and that is why sometimes I feel that famlies only know how to rob and rob. they dont care that you have come to india after so long time, only your money.

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Bazigar

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