Love, Friendship, Dating & Relationships
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Need advice - long term relationship

katrina99 Newbie
katrina99
katrina99

Joined: 10 September 2013
Posts: 1

Posted: 10 September 2013 at 1:08pm | IP Logged
Hello everyone,
I have been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. He is East Indian (Punjabi) and I am of mixed South Asian background. I am anxious for him to tell his parents about me, but he says he can't until we are ready to get married. I would really like to speed things up a bit but I'm not sure what to do. I love him very very much but he sometimes feels that I do not respect/understand his culture when I bring up getting engaged (he doesn't want to until he is financially ready). I would love some advice on how to deal with this. Maybe it is true that I don't understand the culture (he feels it is rude/disrespectful to just tell his parents he has a "girlfriend" and that they would be unhappy). I just want him to realize that I'm only pushing things (after many years) because I want to enjoy my life with him.

If you have any advice, please let me know.

~Kat

Ankithate Goldie
Ankithate
Ankithate

Joined: 26 April 2012
Posts: 1114

Posted: 11 September 2013 at 6:01am | IP Logged



Just Talk it out!


Be Positive While You Approach Them And Tell Everythng You Feel Honestly.!

Thumbs Up



-zozo- IF-Rockerz
-zozo-
-zozo-

Joined: 10 February 2012
Posts: 8817

Posted: 24 October 2013 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
have u told him how u feel about this situation... i mean confronted him with ur feelings?... true its hard for him to approach his parents with such news but u've gotta one day... its pretty much a case of avoiding the inevitable, especially if he truly wants to spend the rest of his life with u... i mean is he ready for marriage?... seems as if he's not, clearly if he were he'd introduce u to the parents by now... unless the parents don't approve of the aspect of being with someone before marriage, then ur just cheating them and their trust, he's being a hypocrite and acting cowardly... if he loves u as much as u claim to love him (assuming u've told him in these past 7 years and the feelings are mutual) then there's no need to beat around the bush... as for him wanting to be financially stable before getting engaged, i don't know, that shouldn't come in the way of his studies or whatever, it's just a way to promise that yes for him THIS is 'forever' and u are the one and only women he wants... know what i mean?... so sorry to say this but i agree with @Dr4viL if he's not ready now chances are he may never be 

at this point all u can do is lay the issues on the table and sort through them until u come to a compromising understanding 

good luck

~ZO
-zozo- IF-Rockerz
-zozo-
-zozo-

Joined: 10 February 2012
Posts: 8817

Posted: 25 October 2013 at 6:04am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Dr4viL.

^ zozo.. who is zozo.. pencil are you zozo?
huh no LOL im just another IF member commenting on a post LOL 
No2Pencil IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 July 2013
Posts: 4132

Posted: 25 October 2013 at 6:29pm | IP Logged
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Flora3333 IF-Sizzlerz
Flora3333
Flora3333

Joined: 12 May 2012
Posts: 16115

Posted: 27 October 2013 at 9:09pm | IP Logged
 He can also tell his parents that he wants to marry you, and then you guys can finish the engagement and postpone the marriage till he sorts our his job/career! And if he thinks it's really impossible for him, then maybe just wait? 

He should have the courage to tell his parents if he loves you! 

7 years is a really long time and I respect you for this! Thumbs Up


Edited by Flora3333 - 27 October 2013 at 9:11pm
waylandrowan Newbie
waylandrowan
waylandrowan

Joined: 05 December 2013
Posts: 1

Posted: 05 December 2013 at 6:09am | IP Logged
I'm in a long term relationship and I like to have sex as often as my body will handle. yourattractiontips.com
dating_mystery Senior Member
dating_mystery
dating_mystery

Joined: 20 October 2013
Posts: 240

Posted: 05 December 2013 at 8:09am | IP Logged
1) Wait for financial stability.

You got a responsible guy by your side. But I hope he's not a player.

There is a guy I know, he had a GF since 6 years (until she committed suicide) and he had like 6 GF at one time. He was never faithful to her.

It may be hard to believe, but love blinds you. You need to start thinking.

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