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marital rape..! why it goes unpunished?

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apoorvaarnav

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apoorvaarnav

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Posted: 08 September 2013 at 11:03am | IP Logged
i was reading about rape laws recently and i came across the exception in our IPC .. it states intercourse with one's wife is not rape even if it is against her wish! basically marital rape is legal in countries like india china pakistan etc !!Angry Angry
when govt was asked abt this, they say it will destroy the family system... arrey if a woman is getting raped in her house, it is no longer a family!!

it is even worst in some middle eastern countries, african countries and even so called developed countries! women are treated worst than animals and are seen as property !! its really sickening !Angry

your views please share!


Edited by apoorvaarnav - 08 September 2013 at 11:31am

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srutyhc

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srutyhc

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Posted: 08 September 2013 at 11:21am | IP Logged
HMMM unpunished and punished ???
please i do not feel any differentiation ...because why ...by this uncultured government rules or the society ammendments..

wah wah...nice to hear from a small child punished and unpunished is similar di...its just opposite word given by english grammar but poorly not applicable to our society..

i mean government has been so plunge to the ilegal customs of society..
poor very sad to saY ...one fine day slogan of our country be

jago re jago re INDIA...
bure kaam karne se ache phal milta hai..
to jago jago re INDIA...

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apoorvaarnav

theloupgaroux

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theloupgaroux

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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 6:33am | IP Logged
Not every marriage is happy and respectful. There are a lot of abusive marriages and there are protections for women to have rights to say no to sex against a man who forces it upon her. Men who rape their wives are usually going to do it regardless how much she willingly puts out. Rape is about control, not sexual pleasure. People don't really believe rape is as devastating when it's marital rape.

Married or not, a person is in charge of their body, and no means no. Just because your married doesn't obligate you to do anything you don't want to do, including sex. I believe that many of those charged with spousal rape have also been charged under domestic violence laws and many a times women don't want to report it because of kids and the family and society which expects them to please the husband and not utter complaints of any sorts. 

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return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 09 September 2013 at 8:17am | IP Logged

There is still a very strong perception in India that sex is the marital duty of the wife and marriage vows mean that she has pledged to please him when and as he wishes. Another strong prevalent misconception is that female sexuality is nonexistent or rather repressed. The woman is supposed to not have a sex drive or wants/desires of her own. Hence it is assumed that she is merely supposed to comply with the male sex drive. Women being expressive of their sexuality are frowned upon. So when a husband forces himself on a wife, it is not viewed as a crime. Firstly, she doesn't have her own sexual identity to say yes or no. Secondly, it is her duty to sexually please him - that's why he married her.

 

This isn't a problem only in India. Marital rape is a challenging issue even in many western countries. Unless it is accompanied by severe physical abuse, many women have a hard time making a case for marital rape. Many women will silently comply even when they are not ready or don't enjoy it as a part and parcel of the relationship. Many rationalize that he is a good husband otherwise and a good father, I shouldn't ruin it simply because the sex is a scarring and terrible experience for me. When they do get tired and file cases, it becomes difficult to prove because their lack of resistance is portrayed as willingness or consent in court. However, to their credit there are laws and efforts being made to prevent marital rape. Also the perception of sex and rape isn't archaic.

 

The perception of rape in India itself is testament to our society's warped views on sex. Most people view rape as a heinous crime not because she was unwilling and a man/men forced himself/themselves on her, but mostly because she is an woman who has been robbed of her virtue. As soon as the woman is someone who is sexually active and expressive of her sexuality, rape ceases to be a heinous crime. To many people, here is a woman who has no virtue, she sleeps with many people and enjoys it, what is the big deal if more people want in on the action - it is not as if she has any virtue to lose. The problems with rape and sexual harassment in India will not cease until we realize that rape is not an issue of virtue but an issue of consent.

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maha2us

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maha2us

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Posted: 10 September 2013 at 12:46am | IP Logged
Definitely it is true, women are being repressed in marriage by their husbands and probably there are many cases of wives consenting to have sex with husbands when they don't  want to do so. But then definitely the law is there for those women also. The domestic violence law talks about sexual harassment of a wife by husband also. It is domestic violence if a man has sex with his wife without her consent and the woman can seek protection and compensation against men.
But then why do we see the law  not working for the true victims? There is lack of awareness among women and women are not sure where to go if they are not protected by their husbands. And unfortunately judiciary is very inefficient in India and it is almost impossible to get justice through court. And then there are numerous false cases of domestic violence by unscrupulous women which directly affect the women who have genuine need of judicial redressal.

In fact as per the law women not only are entitled to slap case against their husbands if the husbands force sex against them but also if the husband does not satisfy her with sex when she asks for that. In that case one question which comes up is, can we call it a rape by female if the wife forces her husband to have sex even as he is unwilling to have sex on a particular day?  Probably this type of question is not asked because the husband may make his own way not to satisfy the wife by sex and one way he does is by ejaculating prematurely. And moreover even if the husband has sex against his wishes, he won't be too much affected. But then those men who ejaculate prematurely are also ridiculed and those men also will have lo self-esteem and this is the way they are punished.

Thus there are many issues in this area.

return_to_hades

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Posted: 10 September 2013 at 7:42am | IP Logged
^^

Somehow your posts make me feel like you have some vendetta against women.

 

There are women who abuse rape, sexual harassment and dowry laws. That does not mean that these laws should cease to exist. There is a very rampant and prevalent problem in society as to why they exist. Moreover the actual case of false reporting is significantly lower. The bigger concern is the lack of reporting in legitimate cases. Law doesn't work for victims simply because the judicial system is corrupt and society is unwilling to confer full sexual freedom and rights for women.

 

Sexual dissatisfaction is legitimate grounds for divorce. However, I have heard of no law that treats it as an offense. Technically divorce is a lawsuit of some sorts, but it is not criminal'.  Both men and women file divorce for sexual dissatisfaction. In a country like India though, the number of women who desire it and dare to file it is heavily disparate. You may also want to revisit marital rape laws in India. Unless the husband is violent and abusive, women don't have much protection against forced sex.


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BirdieNumNum

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BirdieNumNum

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Posted: 10 September 2013 at 9:19am | IP Logged

marital rape goes unpunished because there are a lot of effed -up societies/ countries that don't have the right mindset/ laws. Lesser said about such places, the better.

that apart, even where there are laws, the woman herself might not want to take it up. She might have kids whose well-being etc constrain her choices. Plus family/ societal pressure that act as strong factors. It's an ugly reality and that's assuming she could prove rape in the first instance, which is never easy in a courtroom. Remember we are talking about the marital bedroom where there can be a lot of he-said/ she-said, and other dirty linen that can be aired... The woman might also be more willing to forgive... she might not want  lives that are totally destroyed,. and might be suffering from the illusion that it was a one-off thing with expectations that things will get better. What can anyone do if she herself will not report... So some of the onus falls on her, sad to say.




Edited by BirdieNumNum - 10 September 2013 at 10:07am

enigmatic_zephy

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Posted: 10 September 2013 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
Oh there was a long debate on this when they came up with that law..after the rape cases..they excluded the marital rape law status..
The court's line of argument is..that recognizing marital rape has practical problems..since in a married relationship u r expected to be having sex...

so many NGOs stood against that..but then law is law..i guess.. they hardly care most of the times..

and i read somewr, dont know what are the facts but marital rape is a huge %..include marital abuse too



Edited by enigmatic_zephy - 10 September 2013 at 2:49pm

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apoorvaarnav

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