Joined: 10 April 2012
Joined: 13 October 2011
Joined: 06 September 2012
Joined: 18 January 2006
There is still a very strong perception in India that sex is the marital duty of the wife and marriage vows mean that she has pledged to please him when and as he wishes. Another strong prevalent misconception is that female sexuality is nonexistent or rather repressed. The woman is supposed to not have a sex drive or wants/desires of her own. Hence it is assumed that she is merely supposed to comply with the male sex drive. Women being expressive of their sexuality are frowned upon. So when a husband forces himself on a wife, it is not viewed as a crime. Firstly, she doesn't have her own sexual identity to say yes or no. Secondly, it is her duty to sexually please him - that's why he married her.
This isn't a problem only in India. Marital rape is a challenging issue even in many western countries. Unless it is accompanied by severe physical abuse, many women have a hard time making a case for marital rape. Many women will silently comply even when they are not ready or don't enjoy it as a part and parcel of the relationship. Many rationalize that he is a good husband otherwise and a good father, I shouldn't ruin it simply because the sex is a scarring and terrible experience for me. When they do get tired and file cases, it becomes difficult to prove because their lack of resistance is portrayed as willingness or consent in court. However, to their credit there are laws and efforts being made to prevent marital rape. Also the perception of sex and rape isn't archaic.
The perception of rape in India itself is testament to our society's warped views on sex. Most people view rape as a heinous crime not because she was unwilling and a man/men forced himself/themselves on her, but mostly because she is an woman who has been robbed of her virtue. As soon as the woman is someone who is sexually active and expressive of her sexuality, rape ceases to be a heinous crime. To many people, here is a woman who has no virtue, she sleeps with many people and enjoys it, what is the big deal if more people want in on the action - it is not as if she has any virtue to lose. The problems with rape and sexual harassment in India will not cease until we realize that rape is not an issue of virtue but an issue of consent.
Joined: 29 October 2007
Joined: 18 January 2006
Somehow your posts make me feel like you have some vendetta against women.
There are women who abuse rape, sexual harassment and dowry laws. That does not mean that these laws should cease to exist. There is a very rampant and prevalent problem in society as to why they exist. Moreover the actual case of false reporting is significantly lower. The bigger concern is the lack of reporting in legitimate cases. Law doesn't work for victims simply because the judicial system is corrupt and society is unwilling to confer full sexual freedom and rights for women.
Sexual dissatisfaction is legitimate grounds for divorce. However, I have heard of no law that treats it as an offense. Technically divorce is a lawsuit of some sorts, but it is not criminal'. Both men and women file divorce for sexual dissatisfaction. In a country like India though, the number of women who desire it and dare to file it is heavily disparate. You may also want to revisit marital rape laws in India. Unless the husband is violent and abusive, women don't have much protection against forced sex.
Joined: 07 October 2012
Joined: 16 June 2009
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