My friend asked me to put this up and ask for feed back because she feels that it isn't written well and doesn't listen to me, i find it really good.
Please do have a look and feedback - positive or negative. it would mean a lot
Happy Reading (Italics is a letter)
'I'm sorry it has to be like this I really am but I can't take it anymore, I can't cope with the pain, even the pain of waking up each day is too much. You always used to ask why I wore such long baggy clothes it was to hide my body; my defenseless body covered in scars and cuts I didn't want to show you I knew it would kill you I never told you anything but the truth was I was dying. I tried my best, I did, with school, home and life I guess but I give up now I'm not strong enough to carry on I have to go but don't worry it won't be any different no one really acknowledges me anyway I was just a figure. I love you with all my heart I really do but it's time to say goodbye stay strong for me? Don't worry about me.'
Folding the note I felt a tear run down my face I sealed the envelope and wrote mum and dad the tear dropped and smudged the writing but I didn't really care that seemed to be the last thing on my mind. I lay it on my perfectly made bed took one last look at my room the way that my clothes were never really in my wardrobe; the way my bin was always overflowing; my school uniform just lying on the floor; the picture of us on my desk I put on my best clothes and left, left the hell I had been living to go start a new life all alone. I left and I would never come back. I'm finally free.
Fifteen years later...
I'm back, back to the place I never thought I return to. But I return happy, happily married with a great job and about to start a family. Isn't it weird how the place where my new family will start is right next to place where my life fell apart? We're going to pick up Payal the gorgeous child we're going to adopt she's beautiful, a soft pale face as white as the snow ; huge brown eyes that go perfectly with her golden locks . I never had a sister but she looks just look like mum I think that's why I love her so much. I never spoke to mum or dad again, never saw them only on the news I heard they went into depression and never left the house I hate to think that I did that to them but deep down I know it was my fault. I heard mum got pregnant but after they had the baby they couldn't look after her properly so she was adopted by my auntie and uncle I never really believed it though mum always said she only wanted one child. I saw Payal peeping her head around the curtains she was finally coming home with us! I didn't know much about her I didn't even know her last name but from the first time I saw her I felt us connect and I knew she felt it too we had this spark I can't explain how much she felt like a part of me. From the very first time I laid eyes on her I knew she was right for us.
Stepping out the car my stomach was like a forest of tangled vines but not about the adoption but because I was walking back down the road I swore I never would return to. We got to the orphanage and I could see Payal waiting by the door for us as soon as the supervisor opened the door she gave me a huge hug and a sloppy kiss .But I didn't mind I just loved knowing that after these final forms were signed Payal would be ours! I was just about to sign the form when through the corner of my eye I saw the name of her birth parents...Garima Gupta 19-02-75 and Shashi Gupta 05-12-73. My hand froze and my head span, my mind became a video tape on rewind. All the articles and news reports about mum having another baby I thought I was a lie. A joke. A rumour. She couldn't be my sister it had to be a mistake a misprint maybe? But defiantly a mistake I never had a sister. Did I? I felt a nudge I snapped out of what I thought was a dream I pinched myself but it was all true write there in black and white my daughter was my sister...
Okay let me know what you think