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The vicious cycle of dabh(downer alert!)

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Deebz

Goldie

Deebz

Joined: 06 April 2012

Posts: 2429

Posted: 23 August 2013 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
Can a man love 2 women equally? The better question is, is it wise for him to do so? It was very obvious from the last episode that Suraj is still attached to his mother's apron strings. The seemingly apparent growth in his character has not truly happened yet. He came right back to be close to his mama. I am really not seeing too much of a statement made there. I initially thought that he was showing his family he would always be there for them but after seeing his eager reaction to the sight of his bhabho I am D'ohI am all for loving your parents but Suraj is not that young any more to act the way he does. Maybe his having never gone to college, staying and working close to hime, raising his family with bhabho are the reasons why he has not been able to cut the cord. His extremely loving nature is also a part of it. He does not hide his feelings either. He makes it obvious to everyone including Sandy how devoted he is to Bhabho. If he had a normal marriage with Sandy, things might have been different. But can that ever happen?

We have all wondered why Sandy is seemingly immune to him.  Can she really see him as a man when he behaves like this? Maybe not. He has allowed his mother to abuse and torture Sandhya countless times although he tries to console her later. Can a dabang girl like Sandy ever totally accept him? Mama's boys are not exactly heart throb material although research shows that they make respectful husbands too. Unless she accepts him will he ever grow up? Until he grows up, will Bhabho ever respect him? What a vicious cycle!

Right now, he is being treated like a child by both his mother and his wife.Who do we blame for this mess?

Sorry if I have ruffled feathers here. After having loved this couple for so long and rooting for them, I am quite disappointed with the recent turn of events. I was hoping SurYa would use this opportunity to become mature adults. I am only seeing an undeserving mother being put on a pedestal again. Not seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. Ouch 

Have a nice weekend!

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iluvsuraj

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iluvsuraj

Joined: 18 May 2013

Posts: 907

Posted: 23 August 2013 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
Kaisa yeh ishq hai...Ajab sa risk hai.CryCryCrySee,that is why I hate that window so much. Now he will go on talking about RP.

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UMDU

IF-Dazzler

UMDU

Joined: 31 August 2012

Posts: 3185

Posted: 23 August 2013 at 11:24pm | IP Logged
Excellent post once again Deebz. Aap ne mere muh ki baat cheen li. I do believe he continues to be a mamma's boy and is mortally scared his mother may win the challenge and not call him back. That is the primary reason he took a house bang opposite the RM lest his mother due to her stubbornness decides not to call him back. It is that fear of staying away from his mother that prompted such an action. He wants to keep reminding her he is there so that she is compelled to call him back. At the same time he gets to see her daily a person whom he treats like God and he has put on a high pedestal. Had he been a confident young man he would have broken his apron strings and set shop far away from the RM. No doubt he is supportive of Sandhya's dreams as he supported all his siblings and feels it is his duty to do so, so this compromise formula. Again a half baked one in which RP members will walk in and out of the house and there is little possibility of Sandhya to have peace and quiet to set her priorities in life right. Sandhya, I do not believe really loves him. For her it is more gratitude then love. One person whom she does love who does not love her with the same intensity is Bhabo. That is why their marriage could never be taken to the next level. Suraj is willing to wait indefinitely Sandhya is willing to let him wait.

Edited by UMDU - 23 August 2013 at 11:27pm

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NeelM

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NeelM

Joined: 18 February 2013

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Posted: 23 August 2013 at 11:26pm | IP Logged
Nice post Deebz!!

Suraj was his mama's boy, and still like that may be due to his incomplete relation with his wifeConfused.
He is not a normal man, I'm not saying he is abnormal, I meant as a grown up man he is not as usual manErmm
The relation he is keeping with his wife is not an usual behavior of a man, until he doesn't love his wife or he is having a relationship with some other girl.
But Suraj is a devoted and loyal husband, but how can be so happy and loving his wife and satisfied by holding hand and eye locking only D'oh
That is why he never grew up or became matured Ermm
He is happy seeing his mother's face every morning and also happy by holding his wife's hands day after day Silly
I think this is a high time to show them as a real married couple. It doesn't mean that they have to have baby. There are lots of ways of birth control, and she can fulfill her dream too. Thumbs Up


Edited by NeelM - 23 August 2013 at 11:31pm

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NeelM

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NeelM

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Posted: 23 August 2013 at 11:31pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by UMDU

Excellent post once again Deebz. Aap ne mere muh ki baat cheen li. I do believe he continues to be a mamma's boy and is mortally scared his mother may win the challenge and not call him back. That is the primary reason he took a house bang opposite the RM lest his mother due to her stubbornness decides not to call him back. It is that fear of staying away from his mother that prompted such an action. He wants to keep reminding her he is there so that she is compelled to call him back. At the same time he gets to see her daily a person whom he treats like God and he has put on a high pedestal. Had he been a confident young man he would have broken his apron strings and set shop far away from the RM. No doubt he is supportive of Sandhya's dreams as he supported all his siblings and feels it is his duty to do so, so this compromise formula. Again a half baked one in which RP members will walk in and out of the house and there is little possibility of Sandhya to have peace and quiet to set her priorities in life right. Sandhya, I do not believe really loves him. For her it is more gratitude then love. One person whom she does love who does not love her with the same intensity is Bhabo. That is why their marriage could never be taken to the next level. Suraj is willing to wait indefinitely Sandhya is willing to let him wait.
Or may be both of them are cold like fish in the water without any urge.ROFL ROFL

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..Anusha..

IF-Sizzlerz

..Anusha..

Joined: 02 September 2009

Posts: 16723

Posted: 23 August 2013 at 11:43pm | IP Logged
Good post Deebz. It is and always will be a vicious cycle. 

DABH is after all a daily family saga. It has to continue indefinitely. So what else can it do but keep repeating? We were told it was a linear journey of progression, but I don't think this can happen. and...linear progression in what exactly?  IPS journey? SurYa journey? Both? At the moment it's none of the above.

Now as to Suraj, I'm glad you reminded us that Suraj hasn't always supported Sandy in the past. His love for his mother is fine. But it should not make a man completely bound up in her moods. If it's not Bhabo, then it's Sandy. The man is obsessed with her via her dream that she isn't even that keen on right now. He also insists on celibacy. So all this adds up to creepy for me. I don't know about Sandy, but I would be quite suffocated with this state of affairs.

No wonder, Sandy would rather stay with Bhabo. Babs has her faults, doesn't come across as some out of this world person who has no expectations from anybody, says what she feels, annoys, makes witty remarks...Sandy knows and is so comfortable with Bhabo.

edit add:  Last year, Sandy fought and won her battle with Bhabo. Earned some grudging respect and yes, even some love. She's not going to let that go by the wayside now. She wanted to be a bahu in that house so badly, she endured and overcame.


Edited by PadBear - 24 August 2013 at 12:12am

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jhema

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Posted: 23 August 2013 at 11:58pm | IP Logged
Nice post Deebzji

You are letting out your frustation continously isn't it.?
What can we do.when  CVs doesn't want to show them as a matured adults.?..

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thala

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thala

Joined: 12 February 2012

Posts: 43021

Posted: 24 August 2013 at 4:24am | IP Logged
nice post amma

when suraj explained to sandy about bhabho's LC kaand, and said that they will be moving out of RM , i thought that he was serious
but it turned out to be a comedy( iam serious)

the fact is that he cant stay away from his bhabho, then what for did he opt to move out, just to show sandy that he is hurt by the truth behind LC

he puposely rented the SSM as he knows that he can watch bhabho from the window
his bhashan on dooriyan  rishton ko aur paas layegi was not to convince sandy  , it was said in a flow thats all

where is the dhoori , they are very close to RM, bhabho wil be watching surya and surya will be watching bhabho,

he is not affected by the LC issue or else he would have said a word about it to bhabho atleast, so that she realises  how surya have reacted after knowing the truth 

sandy kept the secret so that suraj doesnt get affected by it , but why is suraj keeping the secret, its again he doesnt want to hurt his mom

ever since he came to know about her dream he started keeping a distance, as a wife sandy ( if she really loves him , if she really confessed her love and not for namesake) should have  educated him,

in fact she seemed to be happy when he declared celibacy on christmas, like as though she was waiting for him to say that 

romance is not for justCensored, it shows how much you love the person, how much you care is also expressed through love making
it deepens the love, 

it happens in everyone's life, many have continued studies after marriage , ( many in our dabhily itself), 

they are not behaving like a couple who confessed their love one year ago,
when you can depict a normal MIL( like bhabho torturing her DIL) a normal FIL( who always supports his DIL), a normal SIL( who ill treats) , a normal devrani( like meena, who is always jealous of jethani and keeps commplaining to her husband), a normal devar( who tries to avoid contributing to the family expense).this happens in every house

then why not the couple normal
whats wrong in it

hope the cvs show something believable and normal
sorry for the long rant








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