Balika Vadhu Written Update 19/8/2013 - Page 4

 

I think they have in the beginning -- all thought it hasn't been made explicit and spelled out that clearly.

 

But saanchi is caught up in some sort of game of one-upmanship with anandi.

She wants to show that she can succeed where anandi could not  (i.e. as jagya's wife).

 

"Jagdish ko aaj tak koi theek se samajh hee nahi paaya"

 

Now why a successful marriage to Jagya should be a gold standard for success or superiority is anybody's guess 🤣  ... but psychologically it is a rebellion against anandi being put on a pedestal for everything.  Saanchi wants to say "see, yes, you are perfect but you couldn't handle this one thing... and I did it better than you" 😕

I think Sanchi has developed this fascination for Jagya long before she met him.She saw BH people refusing to bring up his name and she must have heard lot of gossip about him not being welcome in his own home all this must have made her very curious about him.She does seem to get attracted towards danger and J seems to have appeared to be someone mysterious to this shallow callow young girl who is highly immature for her age.

Add to that he was her bhabhi's ex that must have doubled her curiosity and finally when she met him he seemed like totally a different man and top of it he saved her like a hero.It was very easy for her to fall in love with him.

CVs seemed to have succeeded in making J a highly attractive proposition to Sanchi.

But of course the thought that she can make a better wife for Jagya was very irresistible.

Sanchi is more like a child who was not allowed to grow up by her protective family.She needs this engagement break up to grow up.

I really wonder if Ganga and Sanchi are in love with Jagya.

Ganga has become a mother without ever knowing what it means to be a woman.She comes across someone who is emotionally still a child.Her feelings towards Jagya is more like a crush combined with gratitude.So I really feel that this seperation is good for both Jagya and Ganga.

Jagya has to realise that what he feels towards  this child woman is not sense responsibility but something deeper than that.

Ganga needs to see the world and see what it has gto to offer before she settles for Jagya.

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Well Anandi has been giving lectures from the day the show started.If Annadi stops giving lectures she won't be Anandi any more.😆

When someone smiles it looks like an a for toothpaste and while when someone else smiled it used to seem like she was doing the world a big favour by smiling.It is a matter of perception.😉

She became mother without ever feeling what it is to feel like a woman.

She is mentally the same insecure 12 year old girl She just stepped into a different world where everything is beautiful.For the first time she experienced all this niceness.Her reactions are  more like a small girl awestruck by beauty surrounding her.

So there is a lot of gratitude for Jagya and she definitely has a huge crush on Jagya.

Since is a nice girl her feelings come out in a positive way.

Sanchi is very immature and her parents in their over protectiveness never allowed her to grow up emotionally so it is no surprise she comes across as a spoilt little girl who at times get nasty when things do not go as she wanted.Since she is selfish brat her feelings for Jagya come out as wanting to own him.

There is a reason why it is said that  a child needs to grow up in a secure happy home  in order to turn out as a well balanced adult.

Ganga never had a home or parents who could guide her when she was growing up.So it is unrealistic to expect her to be balanced adult who is capable of sorting out emotions.

Sanchi's parents failed big time because they did not take care of their child's emotional growth.

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Ganga only knows that she likes her doctorsa I don't think she will be able to say whether it is just gratitude or crush or love at this stage.

So this physical distance is necessary for  both Jagya and Ganga to sort out their feelings.

 

When you say "not allowed to grow up" -- what more could the shekhars have done?  

 

I mean they have given her full freedom to study what she wants, dress the way she wants, make her own choices and her own decisions.  I think she has had the full freedom to grow up and be responsible and mature.

 

Naturally, she will not have the maturity of say, ganga, who has faced certain situations in life ... because saanchi has not had to face those situations and there is no need for her to go through those situations either - rape, child, abuse.  If these situations don't exist naturally in saanchi's life, there is no way they can be manufactured artificially to make her grow up (nor should they be artificially manufactured).

 

So, what do you feel the shekhars could have done differently?

 

I think they may have a few flaws in terms of their pampering,  but for the most part, from an objective point of view,  saanchi does not engage in criminal activities, drugs, alcohol, anti-social or illegal activities.   I think the shekhars upbringing has been fine.

 

I don't mean to challenge you aparnauma. On the screen it is hard to see tone of voice or facial expression. I am genuinely keen to know where you feel the shekhars have fallen short.

 

 

 

 

Why do they feel pressurised to give into her whims?

It does feel like they are taking the easy way out to escape from her tantrums by just giving her whatever she fancies. 

What is their reason for agreeing for this marriage with Jagya?

If they thought that she was making a wise choice why would they have to try so hard to convince themselves?

They just felt it is easier to give in to her than trying to convince her otherwise,

If parents find it easier to give into their childrens' whims rather than convincing them that it may not be right for them then obviously something is wrong with the parenting.

Today it was the groom of her choice in the past it could have been the toys of her choice or lot of other things.

Her thinking process - How is that she knew only to take from her parents and never knew that she should be giving them something back too?

Why was she not corrected when she was a child?Why did they not shape her thought process when she was a child?

Parents do play a major role in the mental development of a child.Shekhars' role is not evident here.

Love for a man is all about wanting to share life with him.That desire to share life out of gratitude for that person cannot be termed as love.

If what she feels is love for that person she should go ahead and build her life which is worthy enough to share it with him.Make a beautiful life for herself and her child and ask him to share her life with him then I will accept it is love.

From what they have shown so far it does not look like love to me.It only looks like infatuation combined with gratitude.If people are convinced that it is love then it is up to them and their opinion.

 

I had my children because I wanted the experience of bringing up a child,  for my own happiness. My kids don't owe me anything nor do I expect it from them.  I don't apply any guilt tactics nor do I nurture a sense of obligation onto them or try to codify it into a contract.   If they happily want to give me something, I am happy to take it.  But  none of my kids know that they "should" be giving back something to me or that they "have" to give it back to me.

 

The only people that my kids have to give back to is their own children (my grandkids)

 

@ blue  -- They did have a long discussion, but saanchi was adamant.  I don't think at this age,  there is any sort of control over the child, and even if ira and co. were to exercise control over saanchi, it would be a sort of temporary exercise.  After a while, saanchi would rebel, even if they were successful in getting her married to a boy of their choice.

 

At this age, what can shekhars do beyond giving her an overview of their concerns? They did do that.  She is also an adult and has her own marzi and viewpoint. 

 

I don't feel that they adopted a defeatist attitude here.   "Trying hard to convince saanchi" does not mean that they can repeat the same arguments over and over again.  They had an initial shock reaction,  mentioned it once or twice and the matter had to come to a stand still when saanchi refused to have any discussions.  After all she is an adult.