Joined: 21 May 2012
Looking at her daughter, who was engrossed in arranging her bag ever so neatly, Khushi felt a lump forming in her throat. How will she live without her? The thought itself pierced her heart yet her resolution remained still. She had come to an accurate decision after a great detail of thinking. Her 15 years old daughter, Arianna, deserved to be with her father. Whatever that took place between her and Arnav shouldn't have its effect on Arianna, Khushi thought decisively.
She rose from the couch and walked towards her daughter with an enveloped packet in her hand.
"Give this to your father." She said, when Arianna questioned her about the packet in her hand. She took it and placed it safely in her brown hand bag. She looked over her stuff for the last time before closing her large suitcase. She turned towards her mother and let out a smile.
She couldn't possibly stay angry with her, no matter what she said or did.
"Mum, I don't know if Daddy has forgiven you for your betrayal to him or not, but I don't want to keep grudge against you. You've been an amazing mother to me all these years. But now I want to live with my father. I hope you understand, Mum." Khushi simply nodded at her daughter's coldness. She had brought out that coldness, after all.
Hugging her for the last time, Khushi watched her daughter disappeared out of the room, all the while unaware of the red liquid hat started to drip from her nose.
A couple of months later –
She sat down on a couch with a cup of steaming coffee in her apartment balcony. The grey clouds indicated a possibility of rain. Khushi was not surprised. Rain and Mumbai went hand in hand, Khushi thought as she sipped her coffee. She shivered as the hot, bitter liquid touched her tongue. Even after 15 years, she couldn't get herself to drink the bitter liquid with ease. It always brought the acidic feeling in her tongue. It was not of her liking, after all. It had been his!
Arnav! She let out a sad smile as an image of her perfectly perfect husband came in her mind. He was a sheer perfection. From his good looks to his intellect, everything dripped perfection. He was a complete man. Despite the painful memories she shared with him, she couldn't get herself to hate him. She tried and she failed. A while later, she left all her attempts to hate him for she knew, she didn't have it in her to hate him.
She felt heavy in her head but she dismissed it voluntarily. She didn't want to think about what happened for she couldn't change the time and fate. She wanted to imagine everything that could have been possible, had things gone the way she had expected them to. She wanted to imagine the perfectly perfect life she could have had with him without a trace of regret in her thoughts.
It was impossible. She concluded. Imagining the fairytale life she could have had without regrets was impossible. Where did she go wrong? She asked herself million times every day but only found suffocating silence as a reply.
Did she fail in meeting the needs of her husband, both physically and mentally? Did she embarrass him in front his business associates? Was she ugly? Did she hurt him in any way? Was she not there in his vulnerable moments?
The only answer to her questions was "no."
Then why did he feel the need to go outside to seek solace? Was she so incapable of providing the love and warmth her husband needed in "his moments"?
Why?, was her last question before the darkness engulfed her hazel eyes. The cup of bitter coffee slipped from her hands, leaving stain of the liquid on the white marble floor forever.
She had moved on...
Love, Zoah x
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OS: Veda-e-ArHi (i.e: GoodBye ArHi)
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