Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Blast from the Past Thread #16, pg 128, epi 180 (Page 130)

Horizon IF-Dazzler
Horizon
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Posted: 30 August 2013 at 12:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Katelyn

@ Horizon
 
Thanks for the beautiful post!  You could get carry away anytime here!  Wink We all welcome that!  It's one of my favorite episode!  They are simply stunning together!!  They communicate with their eyes and the solft touch of the hands...wow!  Day Dreaming
 
Kate, thanks. But my technical difficulties bog me down..:) but thanks.

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cinthiann1758KatelynMysticaldivine

viv04 Senior Member
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Posted: 30 August 2013 at 1:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ArshiHamesha

@Cynthia,...hd...,Indi...,Horizon...wiwy
wiwy yes if we are making a difference in wonen's life around us...we are doing what we supposed to be doing...but how many of us are doing it...that is a question itself.

Indi...hd...Horizon...even if a man has a cruel past ,still has no right to handle any woman like that in the name of love...Hate me for that...yet he was wrong in his actions and that's why he always wanted to redeem it until the next one...Broken Dori...to bruises on her arm is screaming for that...

Cynthia in my view he was manhandeling her as until you've gone through that hell you have no idea how does it feel...

Arnav is a character we adore but real life Arnav is way different than this .It's not a joke.You die and born  everyday with it...

 No matter how much I loved IPK and ASR as an mature audience, I worried about the impact of manhandling scenes on young minds.  I would assume sensitive young teens not approving it and fear immature older teens being mislead by it.
 
In general, no matter how much couples are in love with each other and understand each other, even the tiniest  unintentional arguments or verbal abuse can affect the relationship when it comes to physical intimacy for women.  The issues need to be resolved and partner's mutual respect need to be restored on regular basis for healthy sustenance of long term relationship.
 
In spite of the inconsistent story, I would like to make sense of what was offered to us.  Post kidnap rescue, maybe a verbal admittance of their love by ASR was necessary for K to start afresh, instill confidence and erase the hurtful memories.  Maybe she would not have left RM for Anji's sake then.  She had forgiven him long back, they had accepted each other and she even physically seemed to be ready for intimacy. 
 There is some gradual psychological resolution for K to farm house night if I want to make sense.  She gets the answer in his teary eyes when he says, "tum ye sab hone dogi", then symbolic gifting on rakhee day, I love you dammit, apology at GH followed by visit to ma's garden and finally acknowledging her parents at farmhouse.  In summary regardless of how much couples are in love, unlike men for women, their underlying psychological state is as important as their physical need or even more for attainment of desired level of intimacy.
 
I find answers to many questions in La's, "tum hi ho ek jo ASr se wo kah sakti ho jo wo nahi sunna chahte".  Yes she was always drawn to him, did not want to give up on the raakshas inside him.  Her love made her poke, prick, ruffle and dig into A's facades.  His love for her compelled him to invite her to his inner chambers.  Every time he hurt her, a piece of him cried for her love.  And she would not miss to notice the tiny teary pools in his eyes that reflected his generous love for her as infinite as the ocean.
Yes there was no short cut for the broken soul ASR and this resulted in the great fiction we all love.
 
We are having such varied topics for discussion in all directions and I love all point of views for the joy of reading, communication and understanding.      

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Posted: 30 August 2013 at 1:27pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Horizon

Originally posted by wiwy

Originally posted by wiwy



Originally posted by cinthiann1758

Originally posted by hd75

Originally posted by indi52

Originally posted by cinthiann1758

Originally posted by wiwy

Originally posted by ArshiHamesha

Originally posted by indi52

Originally posted by ArshiHamesha

@ viv , @ Indi, @ Horizon, @ Issk, @Cynthia, @ wiwy and all 

Just finished reading all of your interesting chat...You all are agreeing at one point and that is...Portrayal of woman through our media is not changing over time and how this image of Achi...Good daughter, sister, wife, whatever has been molested in such a way that the blazing hate emerges within you when such comments fall on your ears...

OK I can accept that for instant that don't provoke sex and it's appeal through media because certain things feel or good beyond exposure...just like teri meri dance ... yet they can't convince me that for the name of sacrifice a woman can't have or express or even think about it.AGAINST Law of nature...

In the name of sacrification ,women are being dragged into mess...Sorry if I offended anyone...just got angry..

Totally agreed with all of you...after farmhouse night ...a lot of pieces are missing...as wiwy said they wanted us to roam around this thingy...hehehe...we are no fools...are we may be...All paagals at one place  

Horizon I can see what you are seeing ,feeling and expressing about after pool side emotive display...yet I feel that was the character of Khushi..."Action without thinking"...which we are seeing in Maha...and Arnav tries to explain.Love the point of classes of women within women...That's how I see it..No one ever damaged women the most but women."women are women's enemy"...Nice analytical approach ,very political as they want us remain busy in this and that's why media is still showing all Sab Bahu crap...I read some where once on IF ,let this whole two generation passed away then what...as new one is gone nail em...I don't agree with it as Cold viruses change their shapes and DNA and not  a single meds can finish em yet they have tendency to change and replicate...and that's what this whole fiasco is...not going to finish, may be emerged with different shape...

Yes wiwy a common person acts with logics...why the heck you let him play with you while he is committed to his gf but this show is "iss pyar ko kya naam doon' which we have and everything from illogical eye seems an aww momento and that was one of em...LOGIC and IPK...Which world you live in...Indi already warned me once when I tried to use it...What about you LOGIC and Wiwy's Riddles...My brain can't get that either...bolo jawab do...

Issk Love your Box analogy...indeed if they have some rules in their hands we all be breathing in their way but what way...just like Akash...Finalize the deal but what DEAL...so what deal do they have keeping us in that BOX...just to run their lives without interruption..MEN's world

BUT I have a question...for all of you...

Do you think Western World exempts from this?

My answer is no...the shape is different with different labels...commodity is same...

Achi my foot...I am good with Bad label...
.


arshi, for that in pink, taaliyan, Clap...

there is no culture on the face of this beleaguered planet that has not done crazy things to women. or so i think. why? some reasons seem clear, the others i have no idea of.

about women being women's worst enemy... up to a point. it is men who put us in our corrals, and then clutches of women, having seen the results of protesting perhaps, decide to give in and become "guards" of this way. simplistic, my picture is... but i know you'll add in the complex, deeper tones. 

No I have a same tone yet experience screams different...For me THIS IS ALL A GAME FOR POWER...and it just satisfies em so be it but women also are contributing in it...it's undeniable..

generations go by and everyone stops questioning. 

in fact where i come from, this is even portrayed as wonderful for us girls. till one day something terrible happens, or you read of roop kanwar (beyond terrible that) an 18 year old in rajasthan, or something... or you see your beautiful grandmother giving away all her sarees with a dash of colour in them and wearing a pure white than (saree) because she's just lost her husband, all jewellery gone from her body, never to eat fish which she loves again... at some point you start asking, why.

and where it leads you is not a good place. Read it and yet it's not pleasant at all..you are forgetting the worse...shaving hair and joining the league of women of same traits ...Ashram

i don't wish to blame gender a or b beyond a point. what has happened has happened. but this is my world too. i am here. what i choose to do matters. or so i would like to believe. a bit of empirical, initial thinking regarding humans, men and women, needs to be done again i feel at times... i try to in my own way... will it make a huge diff? no, certainly not... but at least i did what i thought i should... guess i'll just leave it at that.
It's not a blame game ,it's analyzing facts and raising a question WHY? Why on earth is is being pictured through our media and gripping roots in our culture...very deep

the conditioning is so deep, sometimes i too will repeat meaningless things without realising... but try i will. maybe because of nothing else, just the most fantastic set of parents, who never ever thought a girl was less... 

i do believe if mass media continues to show women the way they do, especially on indian tv (which has a humongous impact as it is watched widely and constantly across india and the subcontinent even)... it will only harm girls more. not only in terms of rape and other heinous things... but even in the everyday, the day to day doing of life... that is where this discrimination, this making use of a whole gender, this shutting her up with talk of tradition and "achhi" hurts all the time. 

That is the point...what is the definition of ACHI...a person [forget gender] who can dance on other's tunes since from her childhood without having her own individuality as a human...


in the west, if i am not way off the mark, the film makers of the fifties or was it the forties, went into the whole achhi buri fiasco re women and there were complex women characters portrayed who fit neither category, they were real, though sometimes not so "good" and the viewer felt empathy. 

in our films too we've had more progressive stories and portrayals of women... khamoshi comes to mind instantly. but the main issue here i suppose is most movies are really about the male character..he is the protagonist... she a mere support. once this idea is fixed... her character and its nuances autiomatically mean less and have less impact. when i look at khushi this is the sadness i feel. she strated out with so much possibility... and trust me, she could have gone all the way to being a tycoon, if she so desired, but what they did to her... barun himself has once said in barun sort of words that it happens in most stories... the man in the main guy.. not fair, but that's how it is.

i was just looking up "the three faces of eve" a movie my mother used to speak of and like (i think there is movie with nargis in the lead which is the hindi remake, i am pretty sure actually, the name escapes me). wiki tells me, 

"
The Three Faces of Eve also became the first film to win the Best Actress award without getting nominated in another category, and the last for nearly 31 years until Jodie Foster won the award for The Accused the film's sole nomination."

seems the west equally denies a place to the girl in a narrative. butmy heart doesn't yearn to be given a higher status than men, just an understanding of us as people... with all the desires, proclivities, drawbacks, everything that makes us human.  

I don't know why it comes to the table that we want to show the superiority over men...My point is just listen and considerate us as a human being ...see and feel our presence...we are not toys...

i thank the west though for the whole women's lib movement, however controversial some things in it. somewhere i do believe i am here today because they were there at some point.

sorry i go on. but really, someone should write about the two from that marriage onward... we might find a real khushi who is as beautiful, flawed, strong, undeniable, human as asr.

sorry achhi bahu, me no wanna be you. there is a reason many of us identify with your laad gov, it's not because we want to be a man, it's because he feels real. he is both man, alpha male, and utterly human beyond just gender specifics. i hope some day you too can be seen as a person and not just a girl in a world made by men.
me and achi bahu or wife...LOL...YES I am a achi mother and that I care 
and have to add, when i read sohara, anita, soni's thoughts, i feel a sense of we are going to get there surely some day. i feel proud... yes, ladies, keep them brackets and the my sexy boys and the visuals and defiance and big heart and feelings coming. 
 

I love them and REALLY WISH THE BEST FOR THEM...Smile

Just a little thought.
In small ways we can make a difference in the lives of women around us. Are we doing it? If we are then we are on the right track and have the right to hope for a better society.

While reading this I had a mixture of emotions.  While being raised in the west to an Italian American family, my youngest sibling is male.  I am the middle child, my parents eldest was also female.  My brother was god especially to my mom.  We still to this day call him the messiah.  He could never do any wrong and he walked on water according to mom.  Still, I never felt inferior, in a matter of fact I would fight for my rights to do things but I do remember me not being allowed to go away to college.  I am not sure if it was that my parents couldn't afford it (which I very much doubt) or girls just didn't leave the house until they were married.
Anyway I got married at 20 to a hateful, abusive man- maybe I just wanted to escape.  Needless to say you all know my story and I found my John because of it...now 32 years later!
What disappoints me is when I read the FF and all the girls write about someone biting them during lovemaking.  This disturbs me, for I have heard of love nips but not the description of actual biting.  Without going to deeply into this I "assume" (hate doing that), that this is an amorous part of the culture or is it the man's dominance over a woman?  I know that when lions mate, the male bites the neck/shoulder of the female showing his dominance until she submits.  Is not love suppose to be a sharing of each other in a beautiful way?  So like I said it disturbs me and I apologize for bringing this matter up especially to our youngsters they do not need to hear this.
In IPK what disturbed me, was how attracted I was to the ASR character, whom I in my POV, was very abusive to Khushi in the beginning.  He degraded her, physically man handled her and kept putting her "in her place".  Why was I so attracted to this terrible man?  But deep in my heart I knew he was hurt and his reactions were because of this.  I still feel terribly guilty when I am attracted to the alpha, dominant male.  I play the role of the lowly female/ lion awaiting domination.  
I was watching a show called Jodha Akbar and I am ashamed to say I love it.  There must be something deep in my core that calls out for the dominant male and I probably was raised not knowing that a woman does not have to be dominated.  
Until we raise our daughters, (which unfortunately have none), with the belief that we are equals to men in all rights and aspects of this world, nothing will change.  When G-d created us, the story in my Bible states that we came from the rib of man, formed so he would not walk this earth alone.  People take that literally.  A woman gave birth to the G-d, he would never exist without a woman!  Men should remember this!  LOL
AND finally I hated the Khushi of the last few episodes.  I remember calling ArshiH and screaming about the Miss India contest.  Just like Miss America, Miss World, Miss Universe what's the point?  A woman's talent and beauty does not have to be judged at all.  The CV's could have had Khushi run the tilffin business or join AR Designs to prove that point.  Ughhh, absolutely hated it.
Our zany, cray girl was one to be admired.  I never felt that she was not worthy of greatness and love.  BTW of love the culture of the extended family and everyone living together.  The mother-in-law in charge and all the women helping to run the household and caring for the family.  This is a beautiful!  But if a woman wants to be educated and go out to work why not?  Some love to take care of family while others want to enter the business world, either way neither is wrong unless imposed and forced on someone.
Okay, my idle chatter and rant is done.  I love and respect all you wonderful women of this thread and we know no matter what we are stronger than anyone thinks!




my nineteen year old niece and i just finished a conversation about why we liked the screaming shouting manhandling mr raizada. and our feeling... a) we knew he was in pain himself, and b) somehow barun could sense and portray the tender beauty clean noble side of the man, even amid that chaos.

still, while many people felt there was no need for him to apologise, i did feel there was and i loved the way he chose to make a trip in the middle of the night to do it. i however did not feel the need for a major redemption thing and see how wrong you were asr track.

life. this happens that happens, no one's perfect, as long as there's love and respect finally, and an understanding, good enough. 

everywhere, women are asked in various ways to be less, to curb, to hold back... this is the one thing i tell my daughter... never accept any situation where you are asked to be less. today i made her read the wiki entry on "misogyny," after five lines she said, her stomach felt queasy. 

i love the mills and boon type, or at least the idea of him, but over the years, clear to me, i am not into being dominated. i liked the fact khushi always fought back... that sense of equal. you shut up (or that very sexy "shaat up" as hd75 says) and she replies after a few bouts of this, "aap shut up," nice. his equal. i always believed that is one of the reasons he fell for her, her guts, her indomitable trait, like him, he sensed she was like him... also that friction was exciting... no one spoke to him like that.

they made khushi into a what i have no idea. what the h was that mrs india thing... yes catering business anyday or even math tuition... but this?

love your post. i called my brother whom the mother doted on but pretended to be mad at... the blind spot. but then my dad had a thing for me i think, so it never really bothered me. 

adam's rib, ah thesis can be written on that. or the song sung to the wife every sabbath in an observant jewish home... or the whole place of "bahu" in an idian home and the exalted position of "damad" the son in law... we need characters like asr in this world... for that rready to put up with some nastiness... woman enough to handle it.

biting? while hard kisses feel sort of exciting... uh huh to serious biting and things. 




Some very interesting discussions going on here. 

Never thought ASR manhandled Khushi, I always felt it was his way of showing his intense love and pain, there was something pure in it, of course Barun made it just perfect. 

I remember people were disappointed there was no redemption, redemption for what? As ASR himself said "iss pyaar mein sahi, galat nahi hota"...it is just love, being nasty, hurting the one you love - all part and parcel of those crazy feelings ! As you so rightly say, what matters is that the love, respect and trust remains intact.

Barun always maintained he could play ASR so well only because of the writing, well, if you want to know how ASR would have been if Barun was not playing him, watch the other shows which also have such angry young men and see the difference. ASR may be been brilliantly written but if it wasn't for Barun, I don't think people would have felt so much for the character. I mean who else can say "shaat up" or "oh really" like that?

Was just thinking about Khushi, what an endearing character ! Even today, I simply adore her and I also know what you mean when you say you have no idea what they did to that character. Sad because Khushi was so different from the usual soap heroines, she had her values, alright but she also came with her own flaws, in many ways she was like ASR. 

Towards the end and even after the fiasco, I think it was Sanaya who made Khushi likeable. If I could forgive that suicide attempt and peon disguise and still love Khushi, a lot of it is because of the actress ! Wish they had made her as real as ASR, she was real for a long time until something went wrong everywhere in IPK. ASR alone survived, even at the peak of the mess, this character alone remained untouched, minus the gussa though. Guess the writers too were in love with ASR ! 

By the time it came to Mrs.India, I knew it was all over and was waiting for the show to end rather than watching it go down day by day. I was seriously hoping they would let her get back to the dabba service but no, she had to be Mrs.India ! But, try as they might, they can never erase the memory of Khushi Kumar Gupta in those gaudy coloured salwar-kameez complete with pompoms, side plait and a funny looking bag !

Can't believe I am up at 1 AM and writing this, got a long day ahead tomorrow...will I ever get over discussing IPK?

@Indi, I am so happy that you had your daughter read the definition and encourage her to stand up for what she feels is right.  Bravo!  Tell her not to stop, ever.
@hd, you really don't think he manhandled Khushi in the beginning, breaking the pearl dori, in the guesthouse, all the times he grabbed her arm?  I agree love and hate very intense emotions.
Loved Sanaya as Khushi, she was as amazing as Barun was as Arnav.  He made him an absolute mush in the end though and she they just destroyed but thank G-d for our actors who were fabulous and they didn't let them kill them entirely!
and NO we will never get over discussing IPK!!!!Wink
 
Cynth, read your first post about women, ASR at 800AM yesterday and wanted to respond but couldn't with time constraints, and this discussion has gone all breath and length.. thanks to Indi and hd.
 
I am in sync with hd that even for me, all his intial pull, pushes didn't come across as manhandling. Yes, a dictionary definition would fit them into that category, but it looked only a figurative reflection to what he felt for her, an intense emotion that he is hitherto unaware of, and a force that he is fighting with in himself to resist this so called chit of a girl.. becos as we know he is NOT gender biased, has held all women with high regard including Khushi's own sister! And importantly, altho physically hurt, Khushi didn't seem to mind, otherwise, she wouldn't have hesitated telling him NOT to touch her again! On contrary, she hid his "marks" away from the world as a personal possession like after the character dheela. Not that he is right, but unknowingly she could see/ feel his struggle with himself!
 
Agree with Indi, Khushi's "aap shut up" was much gratifying. or even her "bhad me gaye aap, bhad me gaye aap ki naukari".. your and your job go to hell.. I don't give a damn.. you go girl...where did that Khushi vanish.. I kept searching...
 
I have to add this, it pricks to see comments like "Shyam is the right guy for Khushi than ASR" just becos one supposedly manhandles her, and the other drips in sugar coated adulation and affection. But, the day Khushi was left middle of the road all gagged up fighting for life, the story perhaps was on its way to running its course, but it only reinforced "looks can be deceptive"!
 


For me too ASR's pulls and pushes did not come across as manhandling ! But that's maybe because ASR looked so hot and sexy when angry! Day Dreaming This is a soap after my own heart but then its a soap after all!
 In real life, I would have given him a tight slap, however hot and sexy he looked! 
I agree with Arshi :

wiwy yes if we are making a difference in wonen's life around us...we are doing what we supposed to be doing...but how many of us are doing it...that is a question itself.

Indi...hd...Horizon...even if a man has a cruel past ,still has no right to handle any woman like that in the name of love...Hate me for that...yet he was wrong in his actions and that's why he always wanted to redeem it until the next one...Broken Dori...to bruises on her arm is screaming for that...

Cynthia in my view he was manhandeling her as until you've gone through that hell you have no idea how does it feel...

Arnav is a character we adore but real life Arnav is way different than this .It's not a joke.You die and born  everyday with it...

Unless it happens to you it is difficult to understand what toll physical abuse of the smallest kind can take. Khushi hid her marks because she knew he was actually hurting himself while hurting her. In real life, you could go on hiding your marks and he could go on hurting without repenting like ASR! That is why reel life is reel life. And we seek refuge in it. 
 
Physical abuse should n't be tolerated becos it is coming from a smoking hot wealthy guy. But ASR comes as a package, a unique one and his abuse, if one wishes to call it as, comes with his all other wonderful traits, love, respect and responsibility for his family as we talk about. That is why ASR doesn't come under the otherwise manhandler's section of women abusers.. becos he is simply NOT!
And, from where I see, there are two very distinct phases of ASR, the one before and the one after Guest house! Arshi, agree with you that Dori pulling was indeed abusive, so were a few other in the office. Khushi put up with them for a while. Then she reached her threshold,  and stood up for herself.. rightly so... Clapthrew that resingation on his face and walked away! That is why that resingation scene was so very powerful/ gratifying (altho I don't think for all the guilt he felt he didn't deserve all her anger at that point, but that is a matter for another discussion).
 
Wiwy, I agree with the reel and real distinction. But surprisingly, ASR is the ONLY ONE who came closest to being real there among all the other too sweet to believe Telly characters!! As we often discuss, there is an ASR in all of us, with all the anger, irritation, love, passion everything deep with in.. at least in me!
 
But after the guest house, he clearly showed his intense passion and been a savior for this girl many a times, she understood that as well. So that hiding did make some sense. I don't think there is any unhealthy women abuse depicted in IPK just becos it is reel.
 

First of all I would like to say I love all you ladies but I am going to follow with we must agree to disagree.  I guess my attitude is this because I know what it is like to be abused.  So here goes:

manhandle (Webster-Merriam Dictionary)

 transitive verb \man-han-dl\
1
: to handle roughly
2
: to move or manage by human force <manhandled the posts into place>
  I LOVE ASR. 
I LOVE ARNAV.
BUT...
this man on the first episode was abusive to our/his lady love.  Maybe he didn't mean it, but I believe he did, to hurt her.  He showed brute force upon our scared heroine.  Obviously to intimidate her, thinking she was sent there to ruin his show.  His follow up when they met when she handed him his dropped key, with words of degradation.  We all know Khushi was not worthless or a money hungry person, he didn't, but she did deserve respect.  He didn't give her that in the beginning episodes.  YES, he was attracted to her from the very first moment and that may have confused him but even so he shouldn't have treated her that way... But if he did not, then we wouldn't have had Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Doon? His revelation of his further emotions was exacerbated at the guest house.  Her gussa, and her "abuse" of him (via shoving) only forcing his reaction.
So in my humble opinion, our love, was a manhandling, sexyEmbarrassed, tyrant who we all fell in love with and like they say "love conquers all" and then he became a pussycat after a crazy, zany girl with pom poms healed his broken heartBroken Heart.
Heart you all.


Edited by cinthiann1758 - 30 August 2013 at 3:58pm

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viv04samin6HorizonKatelynMysticaldivineindi52

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Posted: 30 August 2013 at 1:31pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Horizon

 
Physical abuse should n't be tolerated becos it is coming from a smoking hot (i fall down dead) wealthy guy. But ASR comes as a package, a unique one and his abuse, if one wishes to call it as, comes with his all other wonderful traits, love, respect and responsibility for his family as we talk about. That is why ASR doesn't come under the otherwise manhandler's section of women abusers.. becos he is simply NOT! ClapClapClap
And, from where I see, there are two very distinct phases of ASR, the one before and the one after Guest house! Arshi, agree with you that Dori pulling was indeed abusive, so were a few other in the office. Khushi put up with them for a while. Then she reached her threshold,  and stood up for herself.. rightly so... Clapthrew that resingation on his face and walked away! That is why that resingation scene was so very powerful/ gratifying (altho I don't think for all the guilt he felt he didn't deserve all her anger at that point, but that is a matter for another discussion).
 
Wiwy, I agree with the reel and real distinction. But surprisingly, ASR is the ONLY ONE who came closest to being real there among all the other too sweet to believe Telly characters!! As we often discuss, there is an ASR in all of us, with all the anger, irritation, love, passion everything deep with in.. at least in me!
 
But after the guest house, he clearly showed his intense passion and been a savior for this girl many a times, she understood that as well. So that hiding did make some sense. I don't think there is any unhealthy women abuse depicted in IPK just becos it is reel.
 


horizon,

absolutely agree, exactly my feelings. but first a big hello hi hug for the "smokin' hot." that's the word for ze man. wish i could say it with a sexy amriki drawl.

and those are the reasons he is not a manhandler.

yes he did a couple of things he should not have... dori, drop from office, drag up mandir steps and force a wedding without asking a thing... but that and his other mistakes make him human. what makes him breathtaking is his clear absolute no condition apolgising... his conscience. and also his ability to understand that he does things at times without thought, only to regret it later.

human.

my husband said, of course he manhandled her, i said, when. he sited temple wedding. i said, yeah, but which one of us has had this sweet quiet wonderful marriage without any rage rave spot of violence, when two people are in love and have this thing for each other all sorts of things happen he said, i know... the way we used to fight. i said, used to? just the other day, right here, we were so bad that we had to finally start laughing because it would have gone to the stratosphere or the cop station otherwise. he tried not to remember.

i too felt her anger during resignation was a bit extreme, she was accusing him of something he hadn't done, ie sent her to a dangerous place knowingly. but while i felt for him i also realised it was his anger, his abrupt banishing of her that had skewed her judgment, you couldn't blame her for thinking the worst of him. how he suffered and then in typical style got furious about that. a zany understanding of character there.

even more lovely, her saying "hum theek nahin hain," after giving yelling at him to her heart's content.

nice writing.

oh asr's contours are the most believable of all. there's plenty of him in me and those around me. even the good fortunately.

i do wish he hadn't snapped her dori, or dropped her, or dragged her... but he did... he was who he was and he never tried to justify it. his anger was a huge issue. he was often in its thrall... this would have been great to explore, but with his interpretation i think barun conveyed it... his helplessness before this thing, his remorse, and that's why it was impossible for me to judge him.

most people have a minus side... how they deal with it matters.



cynthia: i see you up there. will disagree, sir Hug. he pulled and dragged her... not others. this was a crazy attraction thing between the two, made both do all sorts of things. not right, not laudable, but there it was, and khsuhi sort of got it... when he gripped her hard, it wasn't to hurt her, it was usually because he was anguished, couldn't guage his strength, always regretted those marks he left behind... and she did bruise easily...

he would get angry and slap people... both times, men. with women, always quite gentle and respectful... oh the opening scene with la. only once a huge screaming session with la.



Edited by indi52 - 30 August 2013 at 1:40pm

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Posted: 30 August 2013 at 1:49pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by samin6

Originally posted by indi52

episode 172

and once more the buaji nk connection... payal asks buaji to put some mehendi for her nand kissore, put an "n" on her palm for him. this cheeky little "romance" between nk and bua is intriguing writing i feel. something funny in it, something cognisant of reality perhaps, our inexplicable secret desires maybe, and something sort of sad here too. it isn't easy to be a lonely middle aged woman with no husband and no children. and be considered too fat and past your prime to be desired. Big smile I do not know about that Indi, after all the lad protests too much.


Nice analysis Indi. MY thoughts in green


thanks, samin,

ha ha naughty samin... yeah the lad does protest too much... huma ho think so now. LOLLOL

your comments were great... at teh doorway, yes the resignation, the hum bhi aapse, the closed eyes namaste when he walks past her, the haldi on dupatta and cheek... so many things. wonder why though. just because it felt like a nice location to shoot... or was it something else?

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Posted: 30 August 2013 at 1:53pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Horizon

 

ps: Time for Teej on TV reruns. As alwasy apologies for taqneeqi kharabein.

 



wow. horizon, this is gorgeous. electricity, audacity, how lovely.

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Posted: 30 August 2013 at 2:00pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by salooni




this is awesomeStar


Thanks, you brand new Rocker Girl! Really enjoyed making this one so very happy you liked. It makes me smile, this avatar of Khushi. Crazy. Beautiful. Her own person all the way.Smile





Edited by IssPKaur - 30 August 2013 at 2:00pm

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Posted: 30 August 2013 at 2:15pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by indi52

Originally posted by Horizon

 
Physical abuse should n't be tolerated becos it is coming from a smoking hot (i fall down dead) wealthy guy. But ASR comes as a package, a unique one and his abuse, if one wishes to call it as, comes with his all other wonderful traits, love, respect and responsibility for his family as we talk about. That is why ASR doesn't come under the otherwise manhandler's section of women abusers.. becos he is simply NOT! ClapClapClap
And, from where I see, there are two very distinct phases of ASR, the one before and the one after Guest house! Arshi, agree with you that Dori pulling was indeed abusive, so were a few other in the office. Khushi put up with them for a while. Then she reached her threshold,  and stood up for herself.. rightly so... Clapthrew that resingation on his face and walked away! That is why that resingation scene was so very powerful/ gratifying (altho I don't think for all the guilt he felt he didn't deserve all her anger at that point, but that is a matter for another discussion).
 
Wiwy, I agree with the reel and real distinction. But surprisingly, ASR is the ONLY ONE who came closest to being real there among all the other too sweet to believe Telly characters!! As we often discuss, there is an ASR in all of us, with all the anger, irritation, love, passion everything deep with in.. at least in me!
 
But after the guest house, he clearly showed his intense passion and been a savior for this girl many a times, she understood that as well. So that hiding did make some sense. I don't think there is any unhealthy women abuse depicted in IPK just becos it is reel.
 


horizon,

absolutely agree, exactly my feelings. but first a big hello hi hug for the "smokin' hot." that's the word for ze man. wish i could say it with a sexy amriki drawl.

and those are the reasons he is not a manhandler.

yes he did a couple of things he should not have... dori, drop from office, drag up mandir steps and force a wedding without asking a thing... but that and his other mistakes make him human. what makes him breathtaking is his clear absolute no condition apolgising... his conscience. and also his ability to understand that he does things at times without thought, only to regret it later.

human.

my husband said, of course he manhandled her, i said, when. he sited temple wedding. i said, yeah, but which one of us has had this sweet quiet wonderful marriage without any rage rave spot of violence, when two people are in love and have this thing for each other all sorts of things happen he said, i know... the way we used to fight. i said, used to? just the other day, right here, we were so bad that we had to finally start laughing because it would have gone to the stratosphere or the cop station otherwise. he tried not to remember.

i too felt her anger during resignation was a bit extreme, she was accusing him of something he hadn't done, ie sent her to a dangerous place knowingly. but while i felt for him i also realised it was his anger, his abrupt banishing of her that had skewed her judgment, you couldn't blame her for thinking the worst of him. how he suffered and then in typical style got furious about that. a zany understanding of character there.

even more lovely, her saying "hum theek nahin hain," after giving yelling at him to her heart's content.

nice writing.

oh asr's contours are the most believable of all. there's plenty of him in me and those around me. even the good fortunately.

i do wish he hadn't snapped her dori, or dropped her, or dragged her... but he did... he was who he was and he never tried to justify it. his anger was a huge issue. he was often in its thrall... this would have been great to explore, but with his interpretation i think barun conveyed it... his helplessness before this thing, his remorse, and that's why it was impossible for me to judge him.

most people have a minus side... how they deal with it matters.



cynthia: i see you up there. will disagree, sir Hug. he pulled and dragged her... not others. this was a crazy attraction thing between the two, made both do all sorts of things. not right, not laudable, but there it was, and khsuhi sort of got it... when he gripped her hard, it wasn't to hurt her, it was usually because he was anguished, couldn't guage his strength, always regretted those marks he left behind... and she did bruise easily...

he would get angry and slap people... both times, men. with women, always quite gentle and respectful... oh the opening scene with la. only once a huge screaming session with la.


EDIT: SOME ISSUE WITH IF AT MY END SO THIS POST HAS APPEARED SOME THREE TIMES ON THIS PAGE...JUST REALIZED AND DELETED THE OTHER TWO-APOLOGIES!


Hello! Just read this...i love the man but cannot agree. Abuse is abuse. He probably hurled verbal much more than physical...but still.
A lot of women we know who go through abuse try and justify it to themselves for the longest time citing the fact that the man at heart is a good one. It's classic victim behavior...till it hits the wall.

We value ASR, of course we do, we know who he really is, and love him for that. But that cannot justify the character when he's in the wrong...especially pre guest house..and post forced marriage. It doesn't matter that he was doing it ONLY to her. Most men do it only to their wives or girlfriends. They seem perfectly nice to all other women. I know i'm talking not ASR here but SERIOUSLY abusive men...but any portrayal that's even bordering on those traits has the potential to be problematic and dangerous when looked at objectively.
 
I for one do not think Khushi's anger during resignation was extreme. All that talk of "aukaat", for instance, i found unacceptable to say the least. I was mighty pleased actually that she felt the anger and expressed it. So glad they didn't make her apologize to him for it later...

This chat is an essential one. Glad we''re having it! Big hug to you all, by the way. Missing you like crazy!
 


Edited by IssPKaur - 30 August 2013 at 3:32pm

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