Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

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Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

Blast from the Past Thread #16, pg 128, epi 180 (Page 113)

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Posted: 28 August 2013 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Arshidiehardfan

Omg just finished reading everyone's take on the sizzling hot Teri-Meri episode... What can I say just loved & enjoyed reading them thorougly... I will never be able to come out of Arshi magic... Anytime watching/reading abt Arshi makes me feel better & takes me to another worldDay Dreaming

It was a brilliantly choreographed song, with the steps matching the flashbacks like A twirls K during Dheela, A catches a fainting Khushi,... Barun doesn't seem to be a non-dancer here...

One by one my comments, as I am unable to quote -

@Anita: Ur teri meri spl cap killed meDead Amazing analysisClapClapClap lol ur comment on Shyam's sorry career as a lawyerLOL ASR's suit blooper was obvious... But I don't think it was becoz Barun was convenient in it... It cld be something elseConfused Arshi danced as if no one existed... Later Arnav said, 'Kayi baar mujhe lagtha hai ki, tum aur mere alava iss duniya mein koi nahin'... It was def an awe moment... Even I used to wonder where is Shashiji... Shyam's reaction is my fav... Mami-Mama nok-jokhLOL True only Shyam & Mami have brains among the Raizadas... And Payal's commentROFL U described the cute thank u & welcome nicelyClap I had more dhak-dhaks than Khushi the first time I watched it... Loved reading ur hilarious comments in betweenLOL 

@Cynthia:
U brilliantly described the sensual dance with ur beautiful wordsClapClapClap Arshi's love story is def a mushkil love story just like ours with IPK...

He lifts her in the air,

 And she slowly glissades down his body.

Oh, the sensuousness of this dance

The heat that burns in their eyes


I am getting the vibes of it... Just wow... Yes it was the first step ASR took in love & slowly started to enjoy his feelings...

This Laad Govenor is a man she loves to hate but will she hate to love?

Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon?Clap


Khushi's monologue, when Arnav was kidnapped, was a brilliant one... The name of the show itself has a beautiful & divine connectionCry

@Indi: Di, I am at loss of words... Just amazing di...
Loved ur passionate take for such a passionate dance sequenceClapClapClap

what if words were never needed... and wasn't it always a dance? - how true... Actually these two never needed words... They mostly showed their love only without words...



The edits are all fantastic... But this one uffDead
I am unable to take my eyes off from ASR... U captured the scene so well...

@Sohara:
Plz update ur index dr... I will search too...

I have already read & enjoyed ArshiH's take & Durga's beautiful poemSmile I didn't see Samin's... And Ami I miss u...

@Supriya:
I always love ur collages... I crazily save every arshi picture & edit...

B4 IPK I don't like that song at all... It was my friend's ringtone too... I felt that Fateh was rather shouting than singing (at that time)... But now it is completely opposite... I actually love his voice in the song nowLOL (Becoz onscreen it is Arnav, who is singingWink)... And I love Barun's lip sync to the songDay Dreaming I daily hear the song once as it is in my IPK playlist...

Thanks for your sweet words AD

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Posted: 28 August 2013 at 7:41pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by cinthiann1758

Okay, don't scream or kill me but I watched it! 
 I bit the bullet and watched IPK2, not during its initial airing but I DVR'd it so it wouldn't get the ratings at 2am, and OMG, 
what are they thinking?
It was awful.  
They used the whole concept of the raging man (good looking, but not good) and the zany, sweet girl (who actually was not bad).  They had him behaving  and acting with ASR characteristics, ie. him pulling at her and making the fist and talking through gritted teeth and she as the tearful wee babe.  
I couldn't finish it.  
Good concept IPK, bad for remaking of season 2.  
Did they not think we would compare it to season 1?
Star Plus what are you thinking?  
There is only one IPK, Arnav and Kushi, everything else looks plain silly. Just my POV.
ps this is going against forum code we are not suppose to compare them.  

I was shocked that you saw season 2...just kidding
But season two seemed like a bad idea

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Posted: 28 August 2013 at 7:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sohara

Too much pressure in school. Right now I'm in the library.
The thread is going in a super fast pace. so much to read and lot to write. My PM inbox is bulging. Do't know when i'll be able to read.
Thank you for the breather.
As our AD has become too hectic, I guess a frequent breather is necessary. I want to read every one's thought and take and want to write my view on each episode as well. As we are reliving IPK, we shouldn't do it in haste?
what do you guys think? 
found it in FB. loved the edit, thought to share it with you. I don't know from where they got this pic of Barun.


This was a good edit...love it
Thanks for sharing it sohara!!!!!

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Posted: 28 August 2013 at 7:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sohara

 soni i came to library to study. i guess you don't want me to concentrate on my study.
Gosh this pic is a killer.Dead

My studying the pcat is now down the drain...it looks like my break will be longer 

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Posted: 28 August 2013 at 7:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by IssPKaur

Originally posted by ..Anita..

Episode 171

    credit to the maker

 credit to the maker

 credit to the maker

   credit to the maker

 


Anita - finally i found thee! Silly of me not to go to Blaster's Index beforeLOLEmbarrassed

Enjoyed reading very much. The idea of "bionic ear", hilarious! Though have to say it was used ONLY when it suited them storytellers. Kitni bar i wished ASR could hear humari ladki and her mumbling but all we'd get from him was "WHA..." (T silent of course!Smile) But Buaji is Buaji. Didn't miss a beat..heard every word...and got the pouch out...not of the lehenga but the sari...it is one, trust me!!LOL Loved your Buaji GIF above. What a killer face she makes at Maami!

And Khushi with her LG in the room. Hai. How many times am i going to rave! You are so right...He did look deeply satisfied there, getting desired results with every stroke play Cool And the "Natraj ceremony", earring ishara and all...total killer. Khushi's performance there, i love each time i watch. She gets that look so right. Here, and then again back home with Jiji, in a daze, eating jalebi, Natraj next to Devi Maiyya...pitch perfect performance...though why Jiji of all people is oblivious to her sister's pareshaani, i do not quite understand. She should've known...even just a hint of it. "Anyway, let's go to sleep", is all she manages. You are right...which of these two is older??

Loved your take on the last scene with the twitchy end...Karma is precisely what you say it isSmile


Thanks for the really really sweet words!!!!!

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Posted: 28 August 2013 at 8:04pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sohara

Originally posted by cinthiann1758

Okay, don't scream or kill me but I watched it! 
 I bit the bullet and watched IPK2, not during its initial airing but I DVR'd it so it wouldn't get the ratings at 2am, and OMG, 
what are they thinking?
It was awful.  
They used the whole concept of the raging man (good looking, but not good) and the zany, sweet girl (who actually was not bad).  They had him behaving  and acting with ASR characteristics, ie. him pulling at her and making the fist and talking through gritted teeth and she as the tearful wee babe.  
I couldn't finish it.  
Good concept IPK, bad for remaking of season 2.  
Did they not think we would compare it to season 1?
Star Plus what are you thinking?  
There is only one IPK, Arnav and Kushi, everything else looks plain silly. Just my POV.
ps this is going against forum code we are not suppose to compare them.  

Cynthia when i read your post, my reaction becomes this.
nahi, nahi, nahi!!!!!!!! how could you did gaddari with us! Just kidding.Big smile good that you shared your view with us. How much they copy Arnav and Khushi they will never come a bit close to them, moreover will be a laughing stock. i have SP at home. But don't feel an urge to watch it. My mom who loves to watch soaps, is also not interested to watch it either.
Go to hell the new show of SP. 

Sohara, I laughed when I read your response.  I know, I know I feel really guilty about watching it but my curiosity got the best of me but I will not watch it again.  I see Chalov is running the thread with its daily updates and she is behaving nicely not like us!!!

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Posted: 28 August 2013 at 8:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by hd75

Originally posted by indi52

Originally posted by cinthiann1758

Originally posted by wiwy

Originally posted by ArshiHamesha

Originally posted by indi52

Originally posted by ArshiHamesha

@ viv , @ Indi, @ Horizon, @ Issk, @Cynthia, @ wiwy and all 

Just finished reading all of your interesting chat...You all are agreeing at one point and that is...Portrayal of woman through our media is not changing over time and how this image of Achi...Good daughter, sister, wife, whatever has been molested in such a way that the blazing hate emerges within you when such comments fall on your ears...

OK I can accept that for instant that don't provoke sex and it's appeal through media because certain things feel or good beyond exposure...just like teri meri dance ... yet they can't convince me that for the name of sacrifice a woman can't have or express or even think about it.AGAINST Law of nature...

In the name of sacrification ,women are being dragged into mess...Sorry if I offended anyone...just got angry..

Totally agreed with all of you...after farmhouse night ...a lot of pieces are missing...as wiwy said they wanted us to roam around this thingy...hehehe...we are no fools...are we may be...All paagals at one place  

Horizon I can see what you are seeing ,feeling and expressing about after pool side emotive display...yet I feel that was the character of Khushi..."Action without thinking"...which we are seeing in Maha...and Arnav tries to explain.Love the point of classes of women within women...That's how I see it..No one ever damaged women the most but women."women are women's enemy"...Nice analytical approach ,very political as they want us remain busy in this and that's why media is still showing all Sab Bahu crap...I read some where once on IF ,let this whole two generation passed away then what...as new one is gone nail em...I don't agree with it as Cold viruses change their shapes and DNA and not  a single meds can finish em yet they have tendency to change and replicate...and that's what this whole fiasco is...not going to finish, may be emerged with different shape...

Yes wiwy a common person acts with logics...why the heck you let him play with you while he is committed to his gf but this show is "iss pyar ko kya naam doon' which we have and everything from illogical eye seems an aww momento and that was one of em...LOGIC and IPK...Which world you live in...Indi already warned me once when I tried to use it...What about you LOGIC and Wiwy's Riddles...My brain can't get that either...bolo jawab do...

Issk Love your Box analogy...indeed if they have some rules in their hands we all be breathing in their way but what way...just like Akash...Finalize the deal but what DEAL...so what deal do they have keeping us in that BOX...just to run their lives without interruption..MEN's world

BUT I have a question...for all of you...

Do you think Western World exempts from this?

My answer is no...the shape is different with different labels...commodity is same...

Achi my foot...I am good with Bad label...
.


arshi, for that in pink, taaliyan, Clap...

there is no culture on the face of this beleaguered planet that has not done crazy things to women. or so i think. why? some reasons seem clear, the others i have no idea of.

about women being women's worst enemy... up to a point. it is men who put us in our corrals, and then clutches of women, having seen the results of protesting perhaps, decide to give in and become "guards" of this way. simplistic, my picture is... but i know you'll add in the complex, deeper tones. 

No I have a same tone yet experience screams different...For me THIS IS ALL A GAME FOR POWER...and it just satisfies em so be it but women also are contributing in it...it's undeniable..

generations go by and everyone stops questioning.

in fact where i come from, this is even portrayed as wonderful for us girls. till one day something terrible happens, or you read of roop kanwar (beyond terrible that) an 18 year old in rajasthan, or something... or you see your beautiful grandmother giving away all her sarees with a dash of colour in them and wearing a pure white than (saree) because she's just lost her husband, all jewellery gone from her body, never to eat fish which she loves again... at some point you start asking, why.

and where it leads you is not a good place. Read it and yet it's not pleasant at all..you are forgetting the worse...shaving hair and joining the league of women of same traits ...Ashram

i don't wish to blame gender a or b beyond a point. what has happened has happened. but this is my world too. i am here. what i choose to do matters. or so i would like to believe. a bit of empirical, initial thinking regarding humans, men and women, needs to be done again i feel at times... i try to in my own way... will it make a huge diff? no, certainly not... but at least i did what i thought i should... guess i'll just leave it at that.
It's not a blame game ,it's analyzing facts and raising a question WHY? Why on earth is is being pictured through our media and gripping roots in our culture...very deep

the conditioning is so deep, sometimes i too will repeat meaningless things without realising... but try i will. maybe because of nothing else, just the most fantastic set of parents, who never ever thought a girl was less...

i do believe if mass media continues to show women the way they do, especially on indian tv (which has a humongous impact as it is watched widely and constantly across india and the subcontinent even)... it will only harm girls more. not only in terms of rape and other heinous things... but even in the everyday, the day to day doing of life... that is where this discrimination, this making use of a whole gender, this shutting her up with talk of tradition and "achhi" hurts all the time. 

That is the point...what is the definition of ACHI...a person [forget gender] who can dance on other's tunes since from her childhood without having her own individuality as a human...


in the west, if i am not way off the mark, the film makers of the fifties or was it the forties, went into the whole achhi buri fiasco re women and there were complex women characters portrayed who fit neither category, they were real, though sometimes not so "good" and the viewer felt empathy.

in our films too we've had more progressive stories and portrayals of women... khamoshi comes to mind instantly. but the main issue here i suppose is most movies are really about the male character... he is the protagonist... she a mere support. once this idea is fixed... her character and its nuances autiomatically mean less and have less impact. when i look at khushi this is the sadness i feel. she strated out with so much possibility... and trust me, she could have gone all the way to being a tycoon, if she so desired, but what they did to her... barun himself has once said in barun sort of words that it happens in most stories... the man in the main guy.. not fair, but that's how it is.

i was just looking up "the three faces of eve" a movie my mother used to speak of and like (i think there is movie with nargis in the lead which is the hindi remake, i am pretty sure actually, the name escapes me). wiki tells me,

"
The Three Faces of Eve also became the first film to win the Best Actress award without getting nominated in another category, and the last for nearly 31 years until Jodie Foster won the award for The Accused the film's sole nomination."

seems the west equally denies a place to the girl in a narrative. but my heart doesn't yearn to be given a higher status than men, just an understanding of us as people... with all the desires, proclivities, drawbacks, everything that makes us human.  

I don't know why it comes to the table that we want to show the superiority over men...My point is just listen and considerate us as a human being ...see and feel our presence...we are not toys...

i thank the west though for the whole women's lib movement, however controversial some things in it. somewhere i do believe i am here today because they were there at some point.

sorry i go on. but really, someone should write about the two from that marriage onward... we might find a real khushi who is as beautiful, flawed, strong, undeniable, human as asr.

sorry achhi bahu, me no wanna be you. there is a reason many of us identify with your laad gov, it's not because we want to be a man, it's because he feels real. he is both man, alpha male, and utterly human beyond just gender specifics. i hope some day you too can be seen as a person and not just a girl in a world made by men.
me and achi bahu or wife...LOL...YES I am a achi mother and that I care 
and have to add, when i read sohara, anita, soni's thoughts, i feel a sense of we are going to get there surely some day. i feel proud... yes, ladies, keep them brackets and the my sexy boys and the visuals and defiance and big heart and feelings coming.
 

I love them and REALLY WISH THE BEST FOR THEM...Smile

Just a little thought.
In small ways we can make a difference in the lives of women around us. Are we doing it? If we are then we are on the right track and have the right to hope for a better society.

While reading this I had a mixture of emotions.  While being raised in the west to an Italian American family, my youngest sibling is male.  I am the middle child, my parents eldest was also female.  My brother was god especially to my mom.  We still to this day call him the messiah.  He could never do any wrong and he walked on water according to mom.  Still, I never felt inferior, in a matter of fact I would fight for my rights to do things but I do remember me not being allowed to go away to college.  I am not sure if it was that my parents couldn't afford it (which I very much doubt) or girls just didn't leave the house until they were married.
Anyway I got married at 20 to a hateful, abusive man- maybe I just wanted to escape.  Needless to say you all know my story and I found my John because of it...now 32 years later!
What disappoints me is when I read the FF and all the girls write about someone biting them during lovemaking.  This disturbs me, for I have heard of love nips but not the description of actual biting.  Without going to deeply into this I "assume" (hate doing that), that this is an amorous part of the culture or is it the man's dominance over a woman?  I know that when lions mate, the male bites the neck/shoulder of the female showing his dominance until she submits.  Is not love suppose to be a sharing of each other in a beautiful way?  So like I said it disturbs me and I apologize for bringing this matter up especially to our youngsters they do not need to hear this.
In IPK what disturbed me, was how attracted I was to the ASR character, whom I in my POV, was very abusive to Khushi in the beginning.  He degraded her, physically man handled her and kept putting her "in her place".  Why was I so attracted to this terrible man?  But deep in my heart I knew he was hurt and his reactions were because of this.  I still feel terribly guilty when I am attracted to the alpha, dominant male.  I play the role of the lowly female/ lion awaiting domination.  
I was watching a show called Jodha Akbar and I am ashamed to say I love it.  There must be something deep in my core that calls out for the dominant male and I probably was raised not knowing that a woman does not have to be dominated.  
Until we raise our daughters, (which unfortunately have none), with the belief that we are equals to men in all rights and aspects of this world, nothing will change.  When G-d created us, the story in my Bible states that we came from the rib of man, formed so he would not walk this earth alone.  People take that literally.  A woman gave birth to the G-d, he would never exist without a woman!  Men should remember this!  LOL
AND finally I hated the Khushi of the last few episodes.  I remember calling ArshiH and screaming about the Miss India contest.  Just like Miss America, Miss World, Miss Universe what's the point?  A woman's talent and beauty does not have to be judged at all.  The CV's could have had Khushi run the tilffin business or join AR Designs to prove that point.  Ughhh, absolutely hated it.
Our zany, cray girl was one to be admired.  I never felt that she was not worthy of greatness and love.  BTW of love the culture of the extended family and everyone living together.  The mother-in-law in charge and all the women helping to run the household and caring for the family.  This is a beautiful!  But if a woman wants to be educated and go out to work why not?  Some love to take care of family while others want to enter the business world, either way neither is wrong unless imposed and forced on someone.
Okay, my idle chatter and rant is done.  I love and respect all you wonderful women of this thread and we know no matter what we are stronger than anyone thinks!




my nineteen year old niece and i just finished a conversation about why we liked the screaming shouting manhandling mr raizada. and our feeling... a) we knew he was in pain himself, and b) somehow barun could sense and portray the tender beauty clean noble side of the man, even amid that chaos.

still, while many people felt there was no need for him to apologise, i did feel there was and i loved the way he chose to make a trip in the middle of the night to do it. i however did not feel the need for a major redemption thing and see how wrong you were asr track.

life. this happens that happens, no one's perfect, as long as there's love and respect finally, and an understanding, good enough.

everywhere, women are asked in various ways to be less, to curb, to hold back... this is the one thing i tell my daughter... never accept any situation where you are asked to be less. today i made her read the wiki entry on "misogyny," after five lines she said, her stomach felt queasy.

i love the mills and boon type, or at least the idea of him, but over the years, clear to me, i am not into being dominated. i liked the fact khushi always fought back... that sense of equal. you shut up (or that very sexy "shaat up" as hd75 says) and she replies after a few bouts of this, "aap shut up," nice. his equal. i always believed that is one of the reasons he fell for her, her guts, her indomitable trait, like him, he sensed she was like him... also that friction was exciting... no one spoke to him like that.

they made khushi into a what i have no idea. what the h was that mrs india thing... yes catering business anyday or even math tuition... but this?

love your post. i called my brother whom the mother doted on but pretended to be mad at... the blind spot. but then my dad had a thing for me i think, so it never really bothered me.

adam's rib, ah thesis can be written on that. or the song sung to the wife every sabbath in an observant jewish home... or the whole place of "bahu" in an idian home and the exalted position of "damad" the son in law... we need characters like asr in this world... for that rready to put up with some nastiness... woman enough to handle it.

biting? while hard kisses feel sort of exciting... uh huh to serious biting and things.




Some very interesting discussions going on here. 

Never thought ASR manhandled Khushi, I always felt it was his way of showing his intense love and pain, there was something pure in it, of course Barun made it just perfect. 

I remember people were disappointed there was no redemption, redemption for what? As ASR himself said "iss pyaar mein sahi, galat nahi hota"...it is just love, being nasty, hurting the one you love - all part and parcel of those crazy feelings ! As you so rightly say, what matters is that the love, respect and trust remains intact.

Barun always maintained he could play ASR so well only because of the writing, well, if you want to know how ASR would have been if Barun was not playing him, watch the other shows which also have such angry young men and see the difference. ASR may be been brilliantly written but if it wasn't for Barun, I don't think people would have felt so much for the character. I mean who else can say "shaat up" or "oh really" like that?

Was just thinking about Khushi, what an endearing character ! Even today, I simply adore her and I also know what you mean when you say you have no idea what they did to that character. Sad because Khushi was so different from the usual soap heroines, she had her values, alright but she also came with her own flaws, in many ways she was like ASR. 

Towards the end and even after the fiasco, I think it was Sanaya who made Khushi likeable. If I could forgive that suicide attempt and peon disguise and still love Khushi, a lot of it is because of the actress ! Wish they had made her as real as ASR, she was real for a long time until something went wrong everywhere in IPK. ASR alone survived, even at the peak of the mess, this character alone remained untouched, minus the gussa though. Guess the writers too were in love with ASR ! 

By the time it came to Mrs.India, I knew it was all over and was waiting for the show to end rather than watching it go down day by day. I was seriously hoping they would let her get back to the dabba service but no, she had to be Mrs.India ! But, try as they might, they can never erase the memory of Khushi Kumar Gupta in those gaudy coloured salwar-kameez complete with pompoms, side plait and a funny looking bag !

Can't believe I am up at 1 AM and writing this, got a long day ahead tomorrow...will I ever get over discussing IPK?

@Indi, I am so happy that you had your daughter read the definition and encourage her to stand up for what she feels is right.  Bravo!  Tell her not to stop, ever.
@hd, you really don't think he manhandled Khushi in the beginning, breaking the pearl dori, in the guesthouse, all the times he grabbed her arm?  I agree love and hate very intense emotions.
Loved Sanaya as Khushi, she was as amazing as Barun was as Arnav.  He made him an absolute mush in the end though and she they just destroyed but thank G-d for our actors who were fabulous and they didn't let them kill them entirely!
and NO we will never get over discussing IPK!!!!Wink

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Posted: 28 August 2013 at 8:21pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by IssPKaur

Originally posted by cinthiann1758

Originally posted by wiwy

Originally posted by ArshiHamesha

Originally posted by indi52

Originally posted by ArshiHamesha

@ viv , @ Indi, @ Horizon, @ Issk, @Cynthia, @ wiwy and all 

Just finished reading all of your interesting chat...You all are agreeing at one point and that is...Portrayal of woman through our media is not changing over time and how this image of Achi...Good daughter, sister, wife, whatever has been molested in such a way that the blazing hate emerges within you when such comments fall on your ears...

OK I can accept that for instant that don't provoke sex and it's appeal through media because certain things feel or good beyond exposure...just like teri meri dance ... yet they can't convince me that for the name of sacrifice a woman can't have or express or even think about it.AGAINST Law of nature...

In the name of sacrification ,women are being dragged into mess...Sorry if I offended anyone...just got angry..

Totally agreed with all of you...after farmhouse night ...a lot of pieces are missing...as wiwy said they wanted us to roam around this thingy...hehehe...we are no fools...are we may be...All paagals at one place  

Horizon I can see what you are seeing ,feeling and expressing about after pool side emotive display...yet I feel that was the character of Khushi..."Action without thinking"...which we are seeing in Maha...and Arnav tries to explain.Love the point of classes of women within women...That's how I see it..No one ever damaged women the most but women."women are women's enemy"...Nice analytical approach ,very political as they want us remain busy in this and that's why media is still showing all Sab Bahu crap...I read some where once on IF ,let this whole two generation passed away then what...as new one is gone nail em...I don't agree with it as Cold viruses change their shapes and DNA and not  a single meds can finish em yet they have tendency to change and replicate...and that's what this whole fiasco is...not going to finish, may be emerged with different shape...

Yes wiwy a common person acts with logics...why the heck you let him play with you while he is committed to his gf but this show is "iss pyar ko kya naam doon' which we have and everything from illogical eye seems an aww momento and that was one of em...LOGIC and IPK...Which world you live in...Indi already warned me once when I tried to use it...What about you LOGIC and Wiwy's Riddles...My brain can't get that either...bolo jawab do...

Issk Love your Box analogy...indeed if they have some rules in their hands we all be breathing in their way but what way...just like Akash...Finalize the deal but what DEAL...so what deal do they have keeping us in that BOX...just to run their lives without interruption..MEN's world

BUT I have a question...for all of you...

Do you think Western World exempts from this?

My answer is no...the shape is different with different labels...commodity is same...

Achi my foot...I am good with Bad label...
.


arshi, for that in pink, taaliyan, Clap...

there is no culture on the face of this beleaguered planet that has not done crazy things to women. or so i think. why? some reasons seem clear, the others i have no idea of.

about women being women's worst enemy... up to a point. it is men who put us in our corrals, and then clutches of women, having seen the results of protesting perhaps, decide to give in and become "guards" of this way. simplistic, my picture is... but i know you'll add in the complex, deeper tones. 

No I have a same tone yet experience screams different...For me THIS IS ALL A GAME FOR POWER...and it just satisfies em so be it but women also are contributing in it...it's undeniable..

generations go by and everyone stops questioning.

in fact where i come from, this is even portrayed as wonderful for us girls. till one day something terrible happens, or you read of roop kanwar (beyond terrible that) an 18 year old in rajasthan, or something... or you see your beautiful grandmother giving away all her sarees with a dash of colour in them and wearing a pure white than (saree) because she's just lost her husband, all jewellery gone from her body, never to eat fish which she loves again... at some point you start asking, why.

and where it leads you is not a good place. Read it and yet it's not pleasant at all..you are forgetting the worse...shaving hair and joining the league of women of same traits ...Ashram

i don't wish to blame gender a or b beyond a point. what has happened has happened. but this is my world too. i am here. what i choose to do matters. or so i would like to believe. a bit of empirical, initial thinking regarding humans, men and women, needs to be done again i feel at times... i try to in my own way... will it make a huge diff? no, certainly not... but at least i did what i thought i should... guess i'll just leave it at that.
It's not a blame game ,it's analyzing facts and raising a question WHY? Why on earth is is being pictured through our media and gripping roots in our culture...very deep

the conditioning is so deep, sometimes i too will repeat meaningless things without realising... but try i will. maybe because of nothing else, just the most fantastic set of parents, who never ever thought a girl was less...

i do believe if mass media continues to show women the way they do, especially on indian tv (which has a humongous impact as it is watched widely and constantly across india and the subcontinent even)... it will only harm girls more. not only in terms of rape and other heinous things... but even in the everyday, the day to day doing of life... that is where this discrimination, this making use of a whole gender, this shutting her up with talk of tradition and "achhi" hurts all the time. 

That is the point...what is the definition of ACHI...a person [forget gender] who can dance on other's tunes since from her childhood without having her own individuality as a human...


in the west, if i am not way off the mark, the film makers of the fifties or was it the forties, went into the whole achhi buri fiasco re women and there were complex women characters portrayed who fit neither category, they were real, though sometimes not so "good" and the viewer felt empathy.

in our films too we've had more progressive stories and portrayals of women... khamoshi comes to mind instantly. but the main issue here i suppose is most movies are really about the male character... he is the protagonist... she a mere support. once this idea is fixed... her character and its nuances autiomatically mean less and have less impact. when i look at khushi this is the sadness i feel. she strated out with so much possibility... and trust me, she could have gone all the way to being a tycoon, if she so desired, but what they did to her... barun himself has once said in barun sort of words that it happens in most stories... the man in the main guy.. not fair, but that's how it is.

i was just looking up "the three faces of eve" a movie my mother used to speak of and like (i think there is movie with nargis in the lead which is the hindi remake, i am pretty sure actually, the name escapes me). wiki tells me,

"
The Three Faces of Eve also became the first film to win the Best Actress award without getting nominated in another category, and the last for nearly 31 years until Jodie Foster won the award for The Accused the film's sole nomination."

seems the west equally denies a place to the girl in a narrative. but my heart doesn't yearn to be given a higher status than men, just an understanding of us as people... with all the desires, proclivities, drawbacks, everything that makes us human.  

I don't know why it comes to the table that we want to show the superiority over men...My point is just listen and considerate us as a human being ...see and feel our presence...we are not toys...

i thank the west though for the whole women's lib movement, however controversial some things in it. somewhere i do believe i am here today because they were there at some point.

sorry i go on. but really, someone should write about the two from that marriage onward... we might find a real khushi who is as beautiful, flawed, strong, undeniable, human as asr.

sorry achhi bahu, me no wanna be you. there is a reason many of us identify with your laad gov, it's not because we want to be a man, it's because he feels real. he is both man, alpha male, and utterly human beyond just gender specifics. i hope some day you too can be seen as a person and not just a girl in a world made by men.
me and achi bahu or wife...LOL...YES I am a achi mother and that I care 
and have to add, when i read sohara, anita, soni's thoughts, i feel a sense of we are going to get there surely some day. i feel proud... yes, ladies, keep them brackets and the my sexy boys and the visuals and defiance and big heart and feelings coming.
 

I love them and REALLY WISH THE BEST FOR THEM...Smile

Just a little thought.
In small ways we can make a difference in the lives of women around us. Are we doing it? If we are then we are on the right track and have the right to hope for a better society.

While reading this I had a mixture of emotions.  While being raised in the west to an Italian American family, my youngest sibling is male.  I am the middle child, my parents eldest was also female.  My brother was god especially to my mom.  We still to this day call him the messiah.  He could never do any wrong and he walked on water according to mom.  Still, I never felt inferior, in a matter of fact I would fight for my rights to do things but I do remember me not being allowed to go away to college.  I am not sure if it was that my parents couldn't afford it (which I very much doubt) or girls just didn't leave the house until they were married.
Anyway I got married at 20 to a hateful, abusive man- maybe I just wanted to escape.  Needless to say you all know my story and I found my John because of it...now 32 years later!
What disappoints me is when I read the FF and all the girls write about someone biting them during lovemaking.  This disturbs me, for I have heard of love nips but not the description of actual biting.  Without going to deeply into this I "assume" (hate doing that), that this is an amorous part of the culture or is it the man's dominance over a woman?  I know that when lions mate, the male bites the neck/shoulder of the female showing his dominance until she submits.  Is not love suppose to be a sharing of each other in a beautiful way?  So like I said it disturbs me and I apologize for bringing this matter up especially to our youngsters they do not need to hear this.
In IPK what disturbed me, was how attracted I was to the ASR character, whom I in my POV, was very abusive to Khushi in the beginning.  He degraded her, physically man handled her and kept putting her "in her place".  Why was I so attracted to this terrible man?  But deep in my heart I knew he was hurt and his reactions were because of this.  I still feel terribly guilty when I am attracted to the alpha, dominant male.  I play the role of the lowly female/ lion awaiting domination.  
I was watching a show called Jodha Akbar and I am ashamed to say I love it.  There must be something deep in my core that calls out for the dominant male and I probably was raised not knowing that a woman does not have to be dominated.  
Until we raise our daughters, (which unfortunately have none), with the belief that we are equals to men in all rights and aspects of this world, nothing will change.  When G-d created us, the story in my Bible states that we came from the rib of man, formed so he would not walk this earth alone.  People take that literally.  A woman gave birth to the G-d, he would never exist without a woman!  Men should remember this!  LOL
AND finally I hated the Khushi of the last few episodes.  I remember calling ArshiH and screaming about the Miss India contest.  Just like Miss America, Miss World, Miss Universe what's the point?  A woman's talent and beauty does not have to be judged at all.  The CV's could have had Khushi run the tilffin business or join AR Designs to prove that point.  Ughhh, absolutely hated it.
Our zany, cray girl was one to be admired.  I never felt that she was not worthy of greatness and love.  BTW of love the culture of the extended family and everyone living together.  The mother-in-law in charge and all the women helping to run the household and caring for the family.  This is a beautiful!  But if a woman wants to be educated and go out to work why not?  Some love to take care of family while others want to enter the business world, either way neither is wrong unless imposed and forced on someone.
Okay, my idle chatter and rant is done.  I love and respect all you wonderful women of this thread and we know no matter what we are stronger than anyone thinks!




GIRLS AFTER MY OWN HEART, ALL OF YOU Heart...this chat is scaling new heights. All thoughts germane to our lives, all ablaze with questions.. Wonderful to come back to, to mehsoos and to internalizeClap


Arshi, nowhere in the world, am sure, are women exempt. Cynthia...i didn't know anything about your past so this was a huge revelation. I have no words to salute you. Like you say so well, and i agree wholeheartedly, there is no right or wrong in how a woman should lead her life as long as the choice is hers. In fact it is this deadweight of right and wrong we should free ourselves of. For ourselves and for the "other woman" whoever she may be.. So right you are Wiwy, the wicked! We need to melt the distance with her, that girl out there we see and don't know. Be gallant and be chivalrous to her. Open the door when she's struggling, give her a lift, appreciate and shower compliments on her...no matter who she is. We've all been "rated", and treated accordingly for better or worse by the world at large... by institutions, by most men, and by women too...the saas-es and the maami-s on tv don't help. But let's not bite. Let's just be greedy and pursue pleasure i say. The pleasure of knowing and experiencing and shamelessly loving.And let's charm each other.
The amazing thing is...as i type this, i feel so fantastic that i know all of you...for don't we all do exactly that on these threads? We love the show but we also love each other dammit!!

And we love this girl!


To fun and madness... hamesha. Cheers!

And Indi...the film with Nargis is Raat Aur Din. She is mind blowing in it!!

Here! Here!  Bravo!!!!Clap

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