Posted: 28 August 2013 at 7:04am | IP Logged
Originally posted by wiwy
Originally posted by ArshiHamesha
Originally posted by indi52
Originally posted by ArshiHamesha@ viv , @ Indi, @ Horizon, @ Issk, @Cynthia, @ wiwy and all arshi, for that in pink, taaliyan, ...
Just finished reading all of your interesting chat...You all are agreeing at one point and that is...Portrayal of woman through our media is not changing over time and how this image of Achi...Good daughter, sister, wife, whatever has been molested in such a way that the blazing hate emerges within you when such comments fall on your ears...
OK I can accept that for instant that don't provoke sex and it's appeal through media because certain things feel or good beyond exposure...just like teri meri dance ... yet they can't convince me that for the name of sacrifice a woman can't have or express or even think about it.AGAINST Law of nature...
In the name of sacrification ,women are being dragged into mess...Sorry if I offended anyone...just got angry..
Totally agreed with all of you...after farmhouse night ...a lot of pieces are missing...as wiwy said they wanted us to roam around this thingy...hehehe...we are no fools...are we may be...All paagals at one place
Horizon I can see what you are seeing ,feeling and expressing about after pool side emotive display...yet I feel that was the character of Khushi..."Action without thinking"...which we are seeing in Maha...and Arnav tries to explain.Love the point of classes of women within women...That's how I see it..No one ever damaged women the most but women."women are women's enemy"...Nice analytical approach ,very political as they want us remain busy in this and that's why media is still showing all Sab Bahu crap...I read some where once on IF ,let this whole two generation passed away then what...as new one is gone nail em...I don't agree with it as Cold viruses change their shapes and DNA and not a single meds can finish em yet they have tendency to change and replicate...and that's what this whole fiasco is...not going to finish, may be emerged with different shape...
Yes wiwy a common person acts with logics...why the heck you let him play with you while he is committed to his gf but this show is "iss pyar ko kya naam doon' which we have and everything from illogical eye seems an aww momento and that was one of em...LOGIC and IPK...Which world you live in...Indi already warned me once when I tried to use it...What about you LOGIC and Wiwy's Riddles...My brain can't get that either...bolo jawab do...
Issk Love your Box analogy...indeed if they have some rules in their hands we all be breathing in their way but what way...just like Akash...Finalize the deal but what DEAL...so what deal do they have keeping us in that BOX...just to run their lives without interruption..MEN's world
BUT I have a question...for all of you...
Do you think Western World exempts from this?
My answer is no...the shape is different with different labels...commodity is same...
Achi my foot...I am good with Bad label...
there is no culture on the face of this beleaguered planet that has not done crazy things to women. or so i think. why? some reasons seem clear, the others i have no idea of.
about women being women's worst enemy... up to a point. it is men who put us in our corrals, and then clutches of women, having seen the results of protesting perhaps, decide to give in and become "guards" of this way. simplistic, my picture is... but i know you'll add in the complex, deeper tones.
No I have a same tone yet experience screams different...For me THIS IS ALL A GAME FOR POWER...and it just satisfies em so be it but women also are contributing in it...it's undeniable..
generations go by and everyone stops questioning.
in fact where i come from, this is even portrayed as wonderful for us girls. till one day something terrible happens, or you read of roop kanwar (beyond terrible that) an 18 year old in rajasthan, or something... or you see your beautiful grandmother giving away all her sarees with a dash of colour in them and wearing a pure white than (saree) because she's just lost her husband, all jewellery gone from her body, never to eat fish which she loves again... at some point you start asking, why.
and where it leads you is not a good place. Read it and yet it's not pleasant at all..you are forgetting the worse...shaving hair and joining the league of women of same traits ...Ashram
i don't wish to blame gender a or b beyond a point. what has happened has happened. but this is my world too. i am here. what i choose to do matters. or so i would like to believe. a bit of empirical, initial thinking regarding humans, men and women, needs to be done again i feel at times... i try to in my own way... will it make a huge diff? no, certainly not... but at least i did what i thought i should... guess i'll just leave it at that.
It's not a blame game ,it's analyzing facts and raising a question WHY? Why on earth is is being pictured through our media and gripping roots in our culture...very deep
the conditioning is so deep, sometimes i too will repeat meaningless things without realising... but try i will. maybe because of nothing else, just the most fantastic set of parents, who never ever thought a girl was less...
i do believe if mass media continues to show women the way they do, especially on indian tv (which has a humongous impact as it is watched widely and constantly across india and the subcontinent even)... it will only harm girls more. not only in terms of rape and other heinous things... but even in the everyday, the day to day doing of life... that is where this discrimination, this making use of a whole gender, this shutting her up with talk of tradition and "achhi" hurts all the time.
That is the point...what is the definition of ACHI...a person [forget gender] who can dance on other's tunes since from her childhood without having her own individuality as a human...
in the west, if i am not way off the mark, the film makers of the fifties or was it the forties, went into the whole achhi buri fiasco re women and there were complex women characters portrayed who fit neither category, they were real, though sometimes not so "good" and the viewer felt empathy.
in our films too we've had more progressive stories and portrayals of women... khamoshi comes to mind instantly. but the main issue here i suppose is most movies are really about the male character... he is the protagonist... she a mere support. once this idea is fixed... her character and its nuances autiomatically mean less and have less impact. when i look at khushi this is the sadness i feel. she strated out with so much possibility... and trust me, she could have gone all the way to being a tycoon, if she so desired, but what they did to her... barun himself has once said in barun sort of words that it happens in most stories... the man in the main guy.. not fair, but that's how it is.
i was just looking up "the three faces of eve" a movie my mother used to speak of and like (i think there is movie with nargis in the lead which is the hindi remake, i am pretty sure actually, the name escapes me). wiki tells me,
"The Three Faces of Eve also became the first film to win the Best
Actress award without getting nominated in another category, and the
last for nearly 31 years until Jodie Foster won the award for The Accused the film's sole nomination."
seems the west equally denies a place to the girl in a narrative. but my heart doesn't yearn to be given a higher status than men, just an understanding of us as people... with all the desires, proclivities, drawbacks, everything that makes us human.
I don't know why it comes to the table that we want to show the superiority over men...My point is just listen and considerate us as a human being ...see and feel our presence...we are not toys...
i thank the west though for the whole women's lib movement, however
controversial some things in it. somewhere i do believe i am here today
because they were there at some point.
sorry i go on. but really, someone should write about the two from that marriage onward... we might find a real khushi who is as beautiful, flawed, strong, undeniable, human as asr.
sorry achhi bahu, me no wanna be you. there is a reason many of us identify with your laad gov, it's not because we want to be a man, it's because he feels real. he is both man, alpha male, and utterly human beyond just gender specifics. i hope some day you too can be seen as a person and not just a girl in a world made by men.
me and achi bahu or wife......YES I am a achi mother and that I care
and have to add, when i read sohara, anita, soni's thoughts, i feel a sense of we are going to get there surely some day. i feel proud... yes, ladies, keep them brackets and the my sexy boys and the visuals and defiance and big heart and feelings coming.
I love them and REALLY WISH THE BEST FOR THEM...
Just a little thought.
In small ways we can make a difference in the lives of women around us. Are we doing it? If we are then we are on the right track and have the right to hope for a better society.
While reading this I had a mixture of emotions. While being raised in the west to an Italian American family, my youngest sibling is male. I am the middle child, my parents eldest was also female. My brother was god especially to my mom. We still to this day call him the messiah. He could never do any wrong and he walked on water according to mom. Still, I never felt inferior, in a matter of fact I would fight for my rights to do things but I do remember me not being allowed to go away to college. I am not sure if it was that my parents couldn't afford it (which I very much doubt) or girls just didn't leave the house until they were married.
Anyway I got married at 20 to a hateful, abusive man- maybe I just wanted to escape. Needless to say you all know my story and I found my John because of it...now 32 years later!
What disappoints me is when I read the FF and all the girls write about someone biting them during lovemaking. This disturbs me, for I have heard of love nips but not the description of actual biting. Without going to deeply into this I "assume" (hate doing that), that this is an amorous part of the culture or is it the man's dominance over a woman? I know that when lions mate, the male bites the neck/shoulder of the female showing his dominance until she submits. Is not love suppose to be a sharing of each other in a beautiful way? So like I said it disturbs me and I apologize for bringing this matter up especially to our youngsters they do not need to hear this.
In IPK what disturbed me, was how attracted I was to the ASR character, whom I in my POV, was very abusive to Khushi in the beginning. He degraded her, physically man handled her and kept putting her "in her place". Why was I so attracted to this terrible man? But deep in my heart I knew he was hurt and his reactions were because of this. I still feel terribly guilty when I am attracted to the alpha, dominant male. I play the role of the lowly female/ lion awaiting domination.
I was watching a show called Jodha Akbar and I am ashamed to say I love it. There must be something deep in my core that calls out for the dominant male and I probably was raised not knowing that a woman does not have to be dominated.
Until we raise our daughters, (which unfortunately have none), with the belief that we are equals to men in all rights and aspects of this world, nothing will change. When G-d created us, the story in my Bible states that we came from the rib of man, formed so he would not walk this earth alone. People take that literally. A woman gave birth to the G-d, he would never exist without a woman! Men should remember this! LOL
AND finally I hated the Khushi of the last few episodes. I remember calling ArshiH and screaming about the Miss India contest. Just like Miss America, Miss World, Miss Universe what's the point? A woman's talent and beauty does not have to be judged at all. The CV's could have had Khushi run the tilffin business or join AR Designs to prove that point. Ughhh, absolutely hated it.
Our zany, cray girl was one to be admired. I never felt that she was not worthy of greatness and love. BTW of love the culture of the extended family and everyone living together. The mother-in-law in charge and all the women helping to run the household and caring for the family. This is a beautiful! But if a woman wants to be educated and go out to work why not? Some love to take care of family while others want to enter the business world, either way neither is wrong unless imposed and forced on someone.
Okay, my idle chatter and rant is done. I love and respect all you wonderful women of this thread and we know no matter what we are stronger than anyone thinks!
Edited by cinthiann1758 - 28 August 2013 at 7:07am