Ok Suja, I think u r already aware of the my vacation went or the way my own time slipped out of my hands this vacation so wont repeat it here.
Originally posted by Suvika.
Ok Here is the comprehensive review of the whole FF and also the writer of the FF.
Ok, gearing up for a roller coaster ride..
This story and the way you have written it is indeed miles away from your first one. You have really really come a long way as a writer with this FF. No two ways about. Everything was more mature including the different ways that you thought and even the basic story line.
Thank you so so much. Yes the first ff was much much easier to write too.. Jab koi baat, until Mallika's murder was all about correcting the show's story in my own way, the way I felt the story should have progressed. so, I did no have to work on anything including basic characterizations, the relationship dynamics between various characters, the situations, etc.. almost every scene till ch-8 had a kind of reference point in the show.
This was a totally different ball game altogether. Not only was it a completely new hitherto untried storyline, but characterizations, the relationship dynamics between various characters, the character growth graphs, and of course the situations were much more complex and challenging.. I only wish I had some more free time to deal with this story the way I had intended. but as they say, no use crying over spilt milk.
not only this nidhi was different, but even ashu was different - no painful past, no emotional baggage, no hesitations or shyness once his feelings are reciprocated. armaan, anji rohan and of course most of all, mallika - every character was written on a brand new blank slate.
Initially I found it very difficult to connect with this Ashutosh because personally I can't stand weak males. Especially if that said male is the lead of a particular story. This guy was indecisive and was easily influenced by others' thoughts. Yes, I agree, the said others were his family but still..anyway, that was not your problem. That was mine. It took me quite some time to come out of that and see him as a normal day to day person we meet. Once i did that, it was easier for me to connect.
Well I believe 'weak' is a relative and vague term. I would not say this ashu was weak.. yes he was too dependent on other's decisions and reluctant to take his own decisions. But that was becoz his life, his situation was unlike the ashu of the show or any other ff.
he had never known insecurity, never had to take any tough decisions and everything including his career was kind of spoon fed to him - u know, he simply had to take over his father's established practice. so, he never even knew what struggle even means. all these things kind of made him too complaisant. in short they made him what u term as 'weak'
in my opinion, he was quite strong in a different way though. he exercised exceptional self restraint after marriage. the object of his dreams and fantasies was sharing a bedroom with him and on top of that was behaving childishly by sleeping/lying down in such a way. the curcumstances, made hugging and touching normal yet would these things have not affected them?
yet he remained strong and did nothing to make hr feel uncomfortable. so, I feel he was very strong in that sense.
Nidhi..I loved her from day one despite her spoilt brat nature. A girl of this generation who lives a bindaas life and wants to continue living in the same way. Her self centred nature and the way you brought it out was too good. But then things started going askew. As chapters progressed, her character kind of fluctuated. I felt as if i was seeing two different Nidhis. One who genuinely thought of Ashutosh as a friend, worried about him when he was not well, cared for him etc and overnight she suddenly became someone else..one who doesn't care at all and rushed of to a party. Its just an example that i am giving here. She is supposed to change from the immature person to a mature one who falls in love with her husband. the second part you achieved. Loved the way she slowly realized that she likes and then loves Ashutosh. But the first one you didn't. her change was way too abrupt and sudden. and even then one does not do a 180 degree no matter how determined they are. Yes, they will definitely mellow down but their basics will remain..like the dress preference and food and coffee tea preference.
Well this Nidhi was a very big challenge to write.. in spite of being a spoilt brat, selfish, lazy and what not, she was still a perfectionist at anything she did.. she was also highly impulsive - apparent in the way she realized her love for ashu. she missed him terribly for 2 days and realized she was in love - though I seriously doubt at that point she even knew what 'love' is..
the night Ashu fell ill was a kind of lapse on her part - a lapse, a deviation from her regular self that she was herself surprised at.. so the next day party was a way of reinforcing to herself - a kind of denyng to herself what her heart was trying to tell her. also, since it was a party thrown by rohan, she could not 'not go' and her throwing away the rose was a kind of subconscious revolt against what her heart was telling her.
yes towards the end of ch-14, I did begin to lose my grip n the characterization of nidhi. and I openly admit it. u know the reasons so I won't make any excuses there. it was a huge lapse of my part. period.
In thread 4 you made a note.
At the risk of leaking my next chapter content, I am telling you that the next chapter is somewhat an exercise in exploring the complexities of human thinking, expectations, the dynamics of action and reaction, etc.
So, writing the next chapter the way I have planned, is nothing short of a challenge for me.. esp. given the fact that I have never even opened a book on psychology or human thinking..
This note made me expect so much more from that chapter. and may be thats why the disappointment was also more. The chapter was super long. and it was all over the place. Character consistency esp of Nidhi was shot. It seemed like she grew up into Nidhi Devi overnight. And it was way too obvious that you wanted to get the story over and done with. In short, what i mean to say is chapter 15 diluted your FF. Chapter 16 was consistent with 15 so no issues there. But point is that 15 and 16 are not gelling with the rest of the FF.
well, now I realize that I should not have made that note at all. I had a very different approach in mind when I wrote that note - one that would have required a lot of thought n skillful writing - for which unfortunately, I realized too late, I neither had the time nor the mental state (being preoccupied with so many things) for.
@Bold - I am not arguing becoz I completely agree with everything u said here. I failed - no other word, no excuse.
Loved Mallika and Armaan. Rohan...I so wish Rohan was not made black. Would have loved to see Nidhi exploring her feelings for a good Ashutosh and a grey Rohan. he was too much like the guy who was the cause of death of Armaan's previous girl friend..forget her name..sorry...
I am glad u liked Mallika n Armaan.
rohan - well what difference does it make if he was grey or black. it would have made a huge difference if nidhi ever loved him or even liked him. but that was never the case. she simply wanted to use him for the dream lifestyle she had wanted.
Liked the Anji Armaan pair too..and liked the way Anji stuck to Nidhi despite their polar opposite personalities and natures.
thanks. even I liked these aspects and the way anji always knows how to handle nidhi.
One last thing i would like to say. You have the talent to write. Please don't stop writing. It need not be another AshNi story. I just want you to continue writing. Something...anything..
no I will defo write whenever I can.. but won't commit to a long story. becoz no matter what one thinks, our time is not always in our hands.. I learnt this lesson the hard way this vacation.
I too love writing but can't write under stress, so let me be settled a bit with my career.. and then will seriously think abt writing a novel kinda thing. but it may take years and years to materialize .. phir kal kisne dekha hai yaar?.
loads of love,
Lots of love and big big hugs to u too,