Originally posted by hotdogg
just spoke to a superior being...dear wife
...who wants us to go out today and said why am I still stuck to my laptop...and enough already types...
After I told her what we were discussing ...she's explained to me as if she was explaining to a baby...she's made a few points which I am putting down which further neatly explains VC...
She also has in her dangerously sweet look said...there I have solved your problem...now lets go!
So quickly penning this down... VC - The character:
- He is a strong, active character...he still is.
- However, passivity is because VC is reeling under extreme loss of his own judgement & self-confidence.
1) First he had P's rista. He overruled this and using his judgement / trust he decided to go for saras. His reasoning was that saras is my best friend's son and this rishta is 100% on. Even when saras visited RN, he was going all jamai raja types.
2) His judgement /trust was proved wrong that time when he came to know that saras had rejected the proposal. (#1)
3) Saras proposed again. He again used his judgement/trust and accepted the proposal. Saras behavior while in RN had revived his trust. There was a scene where there is a FB of the saras proposal, where VC says that "Mujhe tumhare pe ab aur bhi zyada bharosa hai."
4) His judgement / trust was broken again. (#2)
5) At this stage, two forces were at play
(i) when his judgement / trust was broken again...he was in uncharted territory...because all his old assessment metrics were broken...So all decisions taken in this state were instinctive.
(ii) in anger / shock / shattering of his trust, he wanted to compensate...and prove espectially to LN / saras that they were wrong in rejecting kumud...simply by getting kumud married to a still bigger family without anyone's help / pity ...all the dialogues of isse bhi bada rishta...
6) In gujrat ...even now... I can vouch for this because me and my wife have stood on the side of some of her cousins against their parents ... in arranged marriages, people still give importance largely to the family - Is the family of good standing in society, Is the family secure financially - with the groom whom they are getting their daughter married coming as a distant secondary... (I can personally count as I write, a few Laurel & Hardy type jodis, often with the lady the better of the couple)... This is understable from a cultural perspective...in a tradtionally enterpreneurial trading community...
7) So VC did not even bother to inquire about Pramad...as long as his cross-checks of BD the family were getting checklisted.
8) After the wedding when news started to percolate about Pramad..and he came back to his senses...he started to feel anxious...THEN he started to find out more about the groom...
9) He kept discounting all of the above...just hoping and praying that he was right
10) Then when he saw Pramad drunk...his judgement / trust was shattered again (#3)
This was the most horrific and shattering event. He is now totally at sea.
11) A Woman's perspective here >>
-A woman can and will upfront share all her feelings / status to her mother..without leaving anything out ...which kumud did with DB.
- However, no matter how close she is to her father...she will never ever share the details unless asked persistently.
- Add to this the fact that kumud has her own reason not to share everyting with her family.
12) for VC ... 3 times of trust / judgement shattering...he is broken ...the impact is so severe that he has zero trust on his own decision making capacity...he is now totally scared about taking any decision AND applying it on Kumud...because he's shit scared that he's will screw up her life more... the dialogue where he says he now has no right to take any decision for kumud...with kumud replying that he still has the right to take decisions for him.
THIS IS WHY he is not asking kumud to stay back / react...and goes out and cries due to the utter helplessness he feels...he is all the more shattered that screwed up DB's life too!!Kumud - The character
1) Kumud is a "Vatt No Katko"... Vatt meaning not ego & Katko meaning a piece...Vatt denotes a very high level of self-esteem / self-respect...which often is mistaken for arrogance...sort of like 'Mera Chehra Dekhe Bina Hi Naa Kaise Bol Diya!" attitude...like see me and then refuse if needed...without seeing me how can you decide!
for e.g. when saras refused the first time, any other girl would have acccepted...but this Vatt no Katko challenged saras to come and say it on her face and then refused to show him her face...If she was arrogant she would not have given him the second chance...
2) After saras rejected her the second time...NOW she wants her marriage to work... just to prove to saras that It was his loss... so each time when she is crying alone, whenever saras comes in front of her, her demeanor changes instantly...
.This is her PRIMARY reason, since she feels the rejection personally...because the 1st time when saras had rejected the proposal it was not personal ...Yet this Vatt No Katko had taken it personally till DB explained to her...even then she goes "Kis Haq se"and I can't forgive him...she helps him for DB and eventually falls for him too...
...the 2nd time he rejected her PERSONALLY..after all the mind, body, soul, PMS ...so she's hurt and feels used...so the "Meine poore hosho hawaas mein yeh kiya hain""... ...she has thought it through...it is not a hasty decision at all...more mind less heart...more like Its enough!
Emphasis>> THIS IS THE PRIMARY REASON
3) And all that father's prestige, sisters & Yash future...all that which is is denoting her primary reasons
are actually SECONDARY.
4) For her the easy way out is to leave BD house...her father and Deasi's will be on her side anyway. Saras is ready & waiting to marry..
BUT if she agrees to return:
(i) it is a blow to her self-esteem ...sort of like thukrake shaadi ki... not due to the
Haq of her love but like second's ...
(ii) it proves her father wrong...thereby shattering his self-belief permenantly.
IF she succeeds she helps him regain his self-confidence ...his judgements do not cause harm..and so he begins to heal...and resores his confidence...also her Vatt is maintained...
5) The destiny angle is that kumud is now like If Life gives you lemons, make lemonade!
hmm...little long...but posting it anyway...
cya later ...
I was feeling left out as story had still made sense to me along the above lines, through filmi TRP garnering scenes.
VC not being chatur in his judgements, has lost ground of authority to prevail upon Kumud.
1.Her astitva(thanks Hgg, for the word), depends upon her high self esteem, to fight against odds she is presented with.
She will not crawl back to Saras at this stage, he hasn't done anything so far to win her trust. Even if Kumud marries him, faced with another dark situation, Saras could very well say 'Mangalsutra utar do, main vaapas nahi aane waala hoo'. Kumud cannot risk that heartbreak, as she loves him wholeheartedly. She never said, he doesn't love her, she doesn't trust his capability to stand by her through thick and thin
2.Standing by Pramaad, she is consciously reiterating the above to Saras.
DB made sense to me as well, she has always regretted her lonely life.( contrary statement could have been: i'm happy to live independently a free life, rather than spending life with unworthy man- this is what a 21st century woman says). Hence her reflection, whether she should have tried a tad bit more to persevere. She has immense faith in Kumud's capability, knows her too well of her ziddipan,hence steps back.
Desai family is being obstructive would have been detrimental to Kumud's self respect, though they would work in the background to ensure her safety and render support when needed, letting her lead the way.
Sad, the story is rushed through in narration. Treatment is bit superficial than subtle nuancing.