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Balika Vadhu
Balika Vadhu

Was difficulty in Jagya's new life a given?

atominis IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 16 August 2013 at 9:30am | IP Logged
Singhs are obsessed with Anandi. Perhaps even more than Jagya was with her.

They keep comparing everyone with Anandi. At a point even Gehna had become irritated that Anandi was getting more precedence than her even in matters related to upbringing of her own son Nandu.

Singhs always wanted Anandi around and weren't able to get over her. Even if you give them a woman who is shadow of Anandi, they will not praise her for what she is, but rather use the phrase "ekdum Anandi jaisi"!

Wouldn't that make any woman feel slighted and irritated?

And doesn't it keep scratching Jagya's wounds also as his ex wife's name is always taken around him?

Singhs rather fuelled his feelings of past attachment and later regret regarding Anandi.

How will he move on then?

Sanchi gets irked when Singhs or Shekhars tell her to be like Anandi. Or give Anandi priority over her. For a while let's put her faults aside and think, from POV of a normal woman. Which woman would like to see comparisons or priority to another woman who was ex wife/ex DIL of her husband/husband to be/in laws?

Sanchi has no past history with Singhs. But Gauri had. It was evident she'd get irritated for not even getting a chance and for being compared to Anandi.

Ganga has been rescued and rehabilitated by Jagya and Anandi. She is poor, has no shelter, no safety and had little education earlier. So she keeps serving everyone, keeps tolerating everything (I am refering to Sumi's barbs) and is herself partly grateful and partly in awe of Anandi so she doesn't mind being compared to her or herself taking help from her and being her shadow or following her footsteps.

But any woman would need her own unique respect and status as a wife and DIL. At some point it would hurt her self respect if her family is all lattoo and worship mode for ex DIL and she too is expected to do the same or keep quiet.

Stuff like rich, no past baggage, virgin etc. are just surface level criteria for choosing a new life partner for Jagya. Mainly what most Singhs (and Jagya) want is that a girl should be a clone of Anandi. (They've agreed for Sanchi also only due to pressure of her being from Anandi's sasural! They don't find her DIL material actually!)

If Anandi remains a priority, a model that a prospective DIL & J's wife must follow then how the hell is Jagya ever going to start afresh, on a clean slate? How is he expected to have a happy family life? How will a woman be respected, happy and live with dignity and self respect with a place of her own in Singh household?

Ganga does not object when DS goes "Ekdum Anandi jaisi" but isn't that undermining her own unique identity?

Even Jagya's condition that Anandi would choose a bride for him or Singhs thinking of Anandi's opinion before deciding on a life partner for Jagya are not a way to start afresh for Jagya!

If Singhs could choose the right groom for Anandi, then why not right bride for Jagya? Why Anandi has to be inserted and consulted in all matters?

Families have problems balancing even between biological daughter and DIL as is evident in Shekhars' case. How can anyone expect there'd never be any problem "balancing" between ex-wife (taken as "daughter" but not even mooh boli sister of Jagya!) and present wife in their family and household matters?

Even if any woman in Jagya's life is not made a vamp like Gauri or Sanchi, still from reality POV, it is difficult for any woman to fit in Singh family with her self respect and without feeling insecure or slighted.

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Posted: 16 August 2013 at 9:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Skepblun

Singhs are obsessed with Anandi. Perhaps even more than Jagya was with her.

They keep comparing everyone with Anandi. At a point even Gehna had become irritated that Anandi was getting more precedence than her even in matters related to upbringing of her own son Nandu.

Singhs always wanted Anandi around and weren't able to get over her. Even if you give them a woman who is shadow of Anandi, they will not praise her for what she is, but rather use the phrase "ekdum Anandi jaisi"!

Wouldn't that make any woman feel slighted and irritated?

And doesn't it keep scratching Jagya's wounds also as his ex wife's name is always taken around him?

Singhs rather fuelled his feelings of past attachment and later regret regarding Anandi.

How will he move on then?

Sanchi gets irked when Singhs or Shekhars tell her to be like Anandi. Or give Anandi priority over her. For a while let's put her faults aside and think, from POV of a normal woman. Which woman would like to see comparisons or priority to another woman who was ex wife/ex DIL of her husband/husband to be/in laws?

Sanchi has no past history with Singhs. But Gauri had. It was evident she'd get irritated for not even getting a chance and for being compared to Anandi.

Ganga has been rescued and rehabilitated by Jagya and Anandi. She is poor, has no shelter, no safety and had little education earlier. So she keeps serving everyone, keeps tolerating everything (I am refering to Sumi's barbs) and is herself partly grateful and partly in awe of Anandi so she doesn't mind being compared to her or herself taking help from her and being her shadow or following her footsteps.

But any woman would need her own unique respect and status as a wife and DIL. At some point it would hurt her self respect if her family is all lattoo and worship mode for ex DIL and she too is expected to do the same or keep quiet.

Stuff like rich, no past baggage, virgin etc. are just surface level criteria for choosing a new life partner for Jagya. Mainly what most Singhs (and Jagya) want is that a girl should be a clone of Anandi. (They've agreed for Sanchi also only due to pressure of her being from Anandi's sasural! They don't find her DIL material actually!)

If Anandi remains a priority, a model that a prospective DIL & J's wife must follow then how the hell is Jagya ever going to start afresh, on a clean slate? How is he expected to have a happy family life? How will a woman be respected, happy and live with dignity and self respect with a place of her own in Singh household?

Ganga does not object when DS goes "Ekdum Anandi jaisi" but isn't that undermining her own unique identity?

Even Jagya's condition that Anandi would choose a bride for him or Singhs thinking of Anandi's opinion before deciding on a life partner for Jagya are not a way to start afresh for Jagya!

If Singhs could choose the right groom for Anandi, then why not right bride for Jagya? Why Anandi has to be inserted and consulted in all matters?

Families have problems balancing even between biological daughter and DIL as is evident in Shekhars' case. How can anyone expect there'd never be any problem "balancing" between ex-wife (taken as "daughter" but not even mooh boli sister of Jagya!) and present wife in their family and household matters?

Even if any woman in Jagya's life is not made a vamp like Gauri or Sanchi, still from reality POV, it is difficult for any woman to fit in Singh family with her self respect and without feeling insecure or slighted.
Very well said and I appreciate your guts to address it in a very good way. All the things I always felt about singhs were spoken by you.

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Posted: 16 August 2013 at 10:13am | IP Logged
Good post I agree with you pov

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atominis

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Posted: 16 August 2013 at 10:25am | IP Logged
BRILLIANT POST...

seconded...Smile

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atominis

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Posted: 16 August 2013 at 11:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Skepblun



Sanchi gets irked when Singhs or Shekhars tell her to be like Anandi. Or give Anandi priority over her. For a while let's put her faults aside and think, from POV of a normal woman. Which woman would like to see comparisons or priority to another woman who was ex wife/ex DIL of her husband/husband to be/in laws?

.
 
Okay, I know you want us to see saanchi from POV of normal woman... but if we see her from this perspective also she immediately turns abnormal again to me... which woman would want to marry the ex-husband of her own bhabhi?
 
Is there anything wrong in it either legally or morally? No.  But does everything have to be determined through extreme technicalities?
 
I don't think a normal woman would get involved with Jagya even if she liked him just because of the stinking mess that would create... unless there was the prospect of moving to a city far away and only seeing anandi and the haveli folk once every three years or something like that.
 
 
I think saanchi has invited the grief she feels over these comparisons into her own life by willingly stepping into this swamp called "relationship with bhabhi's ex-husband"
 
 
 
 

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atominis IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 16 August 2013 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sectoreight

Originally posted by Skepblun



Sanchi gets irked when Singhs or Shekhars tell her to be like Anandi. Or give Anandi priority over her. For a while let's put her faults aside and think, from POV of a normal woman. Which woman would like to see comparisons or priority to another woman who was ex wife/ex DIL of her husband/husband to be/in laws?

.
 
Okay, I know you want us to see saanchi from POV of normal woman... but if we see her from this perspective also she immediately turns abnormal again to me... which woman would want to marry the ex-husband of her own bhabhi?
 
Is there anything wrong in it either legally or morally? No.  But does everything have to be determined through extreme technicalities?
 
I don't think a normal woman would get involved with Jagya even if she liked him just because of the stinking mess that would create... unless there was the prospect of moving to a city far away and only seeing anandi and the haveli folk once every three years or something like that.
 
 
I think saanchi has invited the grief she feels over these comparisons into her own life by willingly stepping into this swamp called "relationship with bhabhi's ex-husband"
 
 
 
 

I was generalising the situation. I did not want to sanitise Sanchi's position. Yes it is Sanchi's bad decision that she wanted to marry her bhabhi's ex husband and enter a family whose lifestyle is total opposite of her own milieu.

But in general, as per BV, it seems as if criteria for Jagya's new life partner is that she somehow has to be compared to Anandi. "She isn't like Anandi", " She is like Anandi", "Ismein Anandi wale gun hain ya nahi hain", "Ismein aur Anandi mein yeh fark hai" blah blah!

There is NO way that Jagya can start afresh or any life partner of his can be treated as a unique individual and judged for who she is, than how she stands in comparison to Anandi!

Singhs (and BV CVs) always seem hell bent on proving that Jagya's choices were wrong and only Singhs' child marriage choice for him was perfect. And if there has to be anyone else, then she should be like Anandi or herself make Anandi her role model and follow her! That's not fair from a reality POV!

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Posted: 16 August 2013 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
How I wish CV's could read your post and answer it. They litterlly made every other women to be like Anandi , but they forgot that every women is special and unique. One has to accept the women for what she is. They had done injustice to Gauri by not giving her a chance. She is far better than Sanchi.

Originally posted by Sheetsden

Originally posted by Skepblun

Singhs are obsessed with Anandi. Perhaps even more than Jagya was with her.

They keep comparing everyone with Anandi. At a point even Gehna had become irritated that Anandi was getting more precedence than her even in matters related to upbringing of her own son Nandu.

Singhs always wanted Anandi around and weren't able to get over her. Even if you give them a woman who is shadow of Anandi, they will not praise her for what she is, but rather use the phrase "ekdum Anandi jaisi"!

Wouldn't that make any woman feel slighted and irritated?

And doesn't it keep scratching Jagya's wounds also as his ex wife's name is always taken around him?

Singhs rather fuelled his feelings of past attachment and later regret regarding Anandi.

How will he move on then?

Sanchi gets irked when Singhs or Shekhars tell her to be like Anandi. Or give Anandi priority over her. For a while let's put her faults aside and think, from POV of a normal woman. Which woman would like to see comparisons or priority to another woman who was ex wife/ex DIL of her husband/husband to be/in laws?

Sanchi has no past history with Singhs. But Gauri had. It was evident she'd get irritated for not even getting a chance and for being compared to Anandi.

Ganga has been rescued and rehabilitated by Jagya and Anandi. She is poor, has no shelter, no safety and had little education earlier. So she keeps serving everyone, keeps tolerating everything (I am refering to Sumi's barbs) and is herself partly grateful and partly in awe of Anandi so she doesn't mind being compared to her or herself taking help from her and being her shadow or following her footsteps.

But any woman would need her own unique respect and status as a wife and DIL. At some point it would hurt her self respect if her family is all lattoo and worship mode for ex DIL and she too is expected to do the same or keep quiet.

Stuff like rich, no past baggage, virgin etc. are just surface level criteria for choosing a new life partner for Jagya. Mainly what most Singhs (and Jagya) want is that a girl should be a clone of Anandi. (They've agreed for Sanchi also only due to pressure of her being from Anandi's sasural! They don't find her DIL material actually!)

If Anandi remains a priority, a model that a prospective DIL & J's wife must follow then how the hell is Jagya ever going to start afresh, on a clean slate? How is he expected to have a happy family life? How will a woman be respected, happy and live with dignity and self respect with a place of her own in Singh household?

Ganga does not object when DS goes "Ekdum Anandi jaisi" but isn't that undermining her own unique identity?

Even Jagya's condition that Anandi would choose a bride for him or Singhs thinking of Anandi's opinion before deciding on a life partner for Jagya are not a way to start afresh for Jagya!

If Singhs could choose the right groom for Anandi, then why not right bride for Jagya? Why Anandi has to be inserted and consulted in all matters?

Families have problems balancing even between biological daughter and DIL as is evident in Shekhars' case. How can anyone expect there'd never be any problem "balancing" between ex-wife (taken as "daughter" but not even mooh boli sister of Jagya!) and present wife in their family and household matters?

Even if any woman in Jagya's life is not made a vamp like Gauri or Sanchi, still from reality POV, it is difficult for any woman to fit in Singh family with her self respect and without feeling insecure or slighted.

Very well said and I appreciate your guts to address it in a very good way. All the things I always felt about singhs were spoken by you.

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-Swetha-

divine_ram IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 16 August 2013 at 1:10pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Skepblun

Originally posted by sectoreight

Originally posted by Skepblun



Sanchi gets irked when Singhs or Shekhars tell her to be like Anandi. Or give Anandi priority over her. For a while let's put her faults aside and think, from POV of a normal woman. Which woman would like to see comparisons or priority to another woman who was ex wife/ex DIL of her husband/husband to be/in laws?

.
 
Okay, I know you want us to see saanchi from POV of normal woman... but if we see her from this perspective also she immediately turns abnormal again to me... which woman would want to marry the ex-husband of her own bhabhi?
 
Is there anything wrong in it either legally or morally? No.  But does everything have to be determined through extreme technicalities?
 
I don't think a normal woman would get involved with Jagya even if she liked him just because of the stinking mess that would create... unless there was the prospect of moving to a city far away and only seeing anandi and the haveli folk once every three years or something like that.
 
 
I think saanchi has invited the grief she feels over these comparisons into her own life by willingly stepping into this swamp called "relationship with bhabhi's ex-husband"
 
 
 
 

I was generalising the situation. I did not want to sanitise Sanchi's position. Yes it is Sanchi's bad decision that she wanted to marry her bhabhi's ex husband and enter a family whose lifestyle is total opposite of her own milieu.

But in general, as per BV, it seems as if criteria for Jagya's new life partner is that she somehow has to be compared to Anandi. "She isn't like Anandi", " She is like Anandi", "Ismein Anandi wale gun hain ya nahi hain", "Ismein aur Anandi mein yeh fark hai" blah blah!

There is NO way that Jagya can start afresh or any life partner of his can be treated as a unique individual and judged for who she is, than how she stands in comparison to Anandi!

Singhs (and BV CVs) always seem hell bent on proving that Jagya's choices were wrong and only Singhs' child marriage choice for him was perfect. And if there has to be anyone else, then she should be like Anandi or herself make Anandi her role model and follow her! That's not fair from a reality POV!
In reality they should have shown the adult choice when jagya selected gauri was the right one. Why they made her so much negative. Instead got her redeemed like jagya. The show would have really been good. Making saanchi a negative character literally spoiled the characters of a nice family like shekhars where they r genuinely nice. thts the reason I don't like many indian tv serials as they portray extreme negativeness in a woman and too much greatness in another lady.

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