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Balika Vadhu

Saanchi and Sumitra win (Page 9)

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Posted: 16 August 2013 at 11:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by koolsadhu1000

What exactly is'rishta nibhana' 

Alway agreeing to fiancee and her family ?

Coz i am not that type and i would feel pressurized .

Why the expectation that he said YES so he BETTER agree to ALL henceforth ?

Any compulsion ? Mandatory unspoken rule of getting engaged ?

I differ .

Let me get this right first .

The argument is he is an adult who should have never said yes in the first place or bent before his mother's emotional blackmail and now that he has he BETTER  say yes to all for a commitment to this sort of thing means deprioritising other commitments automatically and losing power to take independent decisions .

From now on , the man must take each step either according to the fiancee's wishes , the sasural's wishes or his mother's wishes .

An engagement decides that .

I differ strongly .

If calling his inability to detect cunning emotional blackmail as his fault of 'bending before his mother' yeah i admit he should have been more perceptive . But sons rarely r before experienced mothers or bitchy wives .

And nowhere did i see him dishonouring his sasural or fiancee . Not once . He cannot decide his own engagement date as per his schedule and that is deemed as dishnouring he MUST he MUST he MUST ...really , whats this nonsensical expectation in the serial ?

If i felt this pressurized i would have said a FLAT NO to the ceremony .

No professional should be coerced this way ...not Jagya , not Shiv nor any ordinary man who has some other commitments .

This kind of dangling a sword with a hair over the head and deeming a choice with some deliberate petty negative meaning is WRONG acc to me .

He said yes to the marraige but said the date was not suitable ...that is dishonuring sasural ?

For that matter even that date was not suitable for Shiv . Ws he dishonoring his sister ?

No . Infact these two professional busy men were dishonored by this foolish obstinacy .

Nobody is even making an issue of that .

Speaking of today's episode

The 2 approving queens were flanking Saanchi once more and nodding approvingly at her choices .

Saanchi simply HATES Anandi .

The JAGAN momentary scene rocked so did Dadisa with the little angel .

Mannu got a flying kiss from me along with that cute cho chweet baby .

"Rishta nibhana" is not about agreeing each and everything, but they did not show Jagya bonding with his future family or even future wife. It is always Ganga bonding. [You may say that he is helping Ganga with only humanitarian ground and then say 'Jagan' meaning they are a couple.]     Rishta nibhana is like Shiv/Shyam was with Singh family even before marriage. 

We cannot compare Shiv's commitment with Jagya's commitment on 16th because Shiv's commitment is in his official capacity and he cannot change it whereas Jagya's commitment on this date is in his personal capacity and he could have preponed it, and it was not Shiv's engagement. And we should accept that the situation would have been different if it was not for a woman ('other woman'  as seen by his fiancee and his mother and even the viewers, because we are waiting for official Jagan). I repeat, if a man asks to postpone his engagement just because he is going to drop some other woman (even if no romantic links is involved) except from his own family like mother/sister/bhabhi etc. then it is disrespecting his rishta with his future wife because he is saying that his priority is that woman and engagement can wait. 

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sectoreightMisseshahisusmitaaparnauma

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Posted: 17 August 2013 at 12:07am | IP Logged
Well said, Puja.

At this stage J has no clear rishta with G, but he has a specific rishta with Sa. She is his fiance while G is another woman as perceived by Sa, Sumi & society. 

Therefore, as claimed by J, if his rishta with G is only on humanitarian basis then there has to be some distance maintained, & priorities need to be established when it comes to choosing between Sa & G.

He cannot give all priorities to G over Sa, and if wants to do that then he needs to balance it. He also needs to consider Sa's emotions or her desires with respect to this relationship, since he said 'yes' to it. (I know Sa is mean and have no sympathies for her, but J does not know that). He cannot just outright ignore Sa. Engagement is a big occasion of a life-time for both bride & groom. It cannot be called off just like that or undermined because other-woman is his priority. It has to be balanced otherwise It is not fair on to-be fiance / wife. 

It is just that way the story is shown, CVs have pained Ira, Sumi & Sa so much black, that even if their emotions are right, we as viewers fail to sympathise with them, because we are reminded of their manipulations more than their emotions.

And on the other hand some-one like G is painted so beautifully white that everything she does appears as sacrifice. What's the big deal if she has to go alone to Mangalore? She can run from her house with her toddler to show bravery but her going alone with some servant without J is looked as pity? 

Wouldn't it have been nice if she told J, that finish off your engagement and then you can come & see me in a day or two, till then I will look after myself? But, no she questions, 'what is our rishta and makes J re-think everything?' Why so much of self-pity?


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Posted: 17 August 2013 at 12:32am | IP Logged
My first benefit of doubt goes to Ira as she is a mother and one cant be too judgmental about a mother. Further Ira does not know the full picture.

My second benefit of doubt goes to sumitra with some reservations. She knows ganga's truth but she does not know sanchi's truth. And she is also a mother.

No benefit of doubt for sanchi as she is forcing everyone to fall in line by false sweetness to singhs, by blackmailing her own family and ruthless manipulations.

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Posted: 17 August 2013 at 12:40am | IP Logged
i guess Jagaya has been shown pretty busy in hospital The members who are saying he could  easily prepone it can they answer How ?why is commitments are not equal to Shiv's one ?A doctor usually is  the more busy man then a collector  if he said it is not possible for him apart from 16th to 18th then understand the rest days he cannot leave Lal i guess has been shown pretty busy in epidemic so ?Why he is expected as he can prepone at anytime ?

and I guess with Sanchi its been shown isn't it ?More than JaGan we have Jagaya Sanchi's scenes how can we say his bonding is not shown with great future wife Sleepy The guy tried his best to adjust with Sanchi but what she was doing over dominating him Here he told her even before mahurat were known to him i am going to Mangalore to 16th she don't care , she is not willing to listen to him when again he tried to share so why he is at fault ? Why he is not sincere to relation ?You have personal reason or official reason if it is important for him why he cannot postpone engagement ? why he has no right to do so ? Why he should think Shekhars will have issues when same family already knows he is helping a woman naming Ganga and they were even  ok if she has been even living with him when he said yes for proposal now all of a sudden they will have  problems ? and he is bound to follow them otherwise he is wrong not sincere wow 

as far as painting Sumi and Sanchi black Ganga white Can't Sumi and Sanchi not be wrong at least Sanchi is in her character not out of it Sumi can be mistaking too why she cannot ever once in her life she has done several mistakes 

Sumi is getting good excuse of being a mother here Sleepy


Edited by sidra08 - 17 August 2013 at 12:42am

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Posted: 17 August 2013 at 12:45am | IP Logged
 
@SPuja,
Bravo, well said!! ClapClapClap
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Posted: 17 August 2013 at 12:56am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sidra08

i guess Jagaya has been shown pretty busy in hospital The members who are saying he could  easily prepone it can they answer How ?why is commitments are not equal to Shiv's one ?A doctor usually is  the more busy man then a collector  if he said it is not possible for him apart from 16th to 18th then understand the rest days he cannot leave Lal i guess has been shown pretty busy in epidemic so ?Why he is expected as he can prepone at anytime ?

and his bonding are not shown with Shekhars I guess with Sanchi its been shown isn't it ?More than JaGan we have Jagaya Sanchi's scenes The guy tried his best to adjust with Sanchi but what she was doing over dominating him Here he told her even before mahurat were known to him i am going to Mangalore to 16th she don't care , she is not willing to listen to him when again he tried to share so why he is at fault ? Why he is not sincere to relation ?You have personal reason or official reason if it is important for him why he cannot postpone engagement ? why he has no right to do so ? Why he should think Shekhars will have issues when same family already knows he is helping a woman naming Ganga and they were even  ok if she has been even living with him when he said yes for proposal now all of a sudden they will have  problems ? and he is bound to follow them otherwise he is wrong not sincere wow 

as far as painting Sumi and Sanchi black Ganga white Can't Sumi and Sanchi not be wrong at least Sanchi is in her character not out of it Sumi can be mistaking too why she cannot ever once in her life she has done several mistakes 
Sidra. he has every right to do so, since it is his engagement too. But here the question is not about rights, it is about priorities. 

How can only consider G's emotions & feelings as a priority over Sa's. Sa already mentioned to him enough times that she is too excited, she wants to look best etc. but has he ever spared a thought for her emotions? He has spared 50,000 thoughts for G & M's safety? Why no balance?

If going out for G is that important, then has he made sure that Sa is not going to be terribly disturbed since she is his fiance and the relation holds equal or more importance in is his life too. As a fiance / would-be husband, it is his duty towards Sa to look after her and to assure thahow somethings have a priority in his life, without necessarily hurting her. Cvs did not show him doing that. 

In fact he gives up on Sa whenever he can, and cannot stand her calls for more than 2 minutes. In that case he should not have immediately agreed to marry her. He should have thought through before agreeing. Now that he has, he is being tossed, which is sad but that's the choice he made.







Edited by Missesha - 17 August 2013 at 12:58am

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Posted: 17 August 2013 at 12:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Missesha

Well said, Puja.

At this stage J has no clear rishta with G, but he has a specific rishta with Sa. She is his fiance while G is another woman as perceived by Sa, Sumi & society. 

Therefore, as claimed by J, if his rishta with G is only on humanitarian basis then there has to be some distance maintained, & priorities need to be established when it comes to choosing between Sa & G.

He cannot give all priorities to G over Sa, and if wants to do that then he needs to balance it. He also needs to consider Sa's emotions or her desires with respect to this relationship, since he said 'yes' to it. (I know Sa is mean and have no sympathies for her, but J does not know that). He cannot just outright ignore Sa. Engagement is a big occasion of a life-time for both bride & groom. It cannot be called off just like that or undermined because other-woman is his priority. It has to be balanced otherwise It is not fair on to-be fiance / wife. 


can i ask one question from you Esha didn't he tell her before mahurat was known to him i am going to Mangalore on 16th if he don't consider her for anything why he would telling her His idea was the planning she is doing for shopping etc she was asking him he answered once i come back then will do it but what she did ? its she who cheated  she knew it she didnt tell him that mahurat is on 16th  At one point you are saying rishta nibhana is not following each and everything other point you are saying he has to follow her even before sharing her plans with her still he should mould them according to her  Will you be saying same too if he had some other work too ? The woman logic his priorities cannot be other woman My question to you didn't shekhars and Sanchi knew about Jagaya Ganga?Why he needs to mantain distance for Sanchi's sake particularly now when she has  been trying to show before to him she is ok with him helping Ganga now ? its Sanchi who is not fair with her would be fiancee how come Jagaya is at fault ?

and whats the issue he is not going with ganga , engagement will happen , distance maintaining too from Ganga perhaps next time Sanchi will ask him to leave his hospital work too other doctors can take care of that you go with birthday he should follow her right? otherwise not fair with would be fiancee Her desires should be kept in notice even more than patients 

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Posted: 17 August 2013 at 1:01am | IP Logged
Jagya is now like HamletLOL

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