Balika Vadhu


Balika Vadhu
Balika Vadhu

Saanchi and Sumitra win (Page 11)

hooked IF-Dazzler

Joined: 19 January 2011
Posts: 2542

Posted: 17 August 2013 at 6:02am | IP Logged
First !

Sanchi is NOT Jagya's finacee at present. She WILL BECOME so after the 16th but currently she is only his intended finacee.

There is a huge difference between a fiancee and a wife and a spoken for person versus a finacee.

Currently - Jagya shud have no problem in getting out of the date planned for the ceremony or getting out of the verbal agreement with Saanchi either.

It is entirely another unfortunate matter that Sumi and Sanchi want to hurry it and put the semi legal sagai stamp on their nebulous relation so as to bind Jagya more firmly to their plan.

Currently Jagya is just not aware of Sanchi's devious reality and the Jekyl n Hyde act she's putting on. Jagya also has no clue that his mom thinks he needs to be controlled and his "manmani" needs to be stopped and his freedoms totally taken away and that she is employing Sanchi to manage his reins from now on.

Is this Jagya's fault then if he is so unaware that a sinister plan lies afoot in keeping him away from Ganga on the 16th ? 

Edited by hooked - 17 August 2013 at 6:12am

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sectoreight Goldie

Joined: 20 July 2012
Posts: 1039

Posted: 17 August 2013 at 6:24am | IP Logged
Originally posted by hooked

Currently - Jagya shud have no problem in getting out of the date planned for the ceremony or getting out of the verbal agreement with Saanchi either.

Shocked hooked!  you are saying that verbal contracts have no meaning????
That is not correct legally or morally.   A word constitutes a word.
Here is the legal standpoint.
"For a verbal agreement to be legally binding, it must have the following elements: offer and acceptance, consideration, permissible subject matter, legal age and mental ability to enter into a contract and finally one must have an intention to form a contract."
Jagya had all of these.  Just because there is no paper binding him, that is not a good reason to get out of it.  That is what he tried to do the first time around.  Got a legal certificate for gauri, and then proceeded to declare anandi illegal because there was no marriage certificate.
 I feel that Jagya can break it off at any point including after marriage too,  just because he feels it is no longer something that feels comfortable to him. Nobody needs to go further with anything after they feel uncomfortable.  Just the fact that he doesn't feel comfortable is enough. He need not rationalize it through issues of legality or absence of written documents.

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koolsadhu1000 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 03 July 2007
Posts: 20976

Posted: 17 August 2013 at 6:26am | IP Logged
"Rishta nibhana" is not about agreeing each and everything, but they did not show Jagya bonding with his future family or even future wife. It is always Ganga bonding. [You may say that he is helping Ganga with only humanitarian ground and then say 'Jagan' meaning they are a couple.]     Rishta nibhana is like Shiv/Shyam was with Singh family even before marriage. 

We cannot compare Shiv's commitment with Jagya's commitment on 16th because Shiv's commitment is in his official capacity and he cannot change it whereas Jagya's commitment on this date is in his personal capacity and he could have preponed it, and it was not Shiv's engagement. And we should accept that the situation would have been different if it was not for a woman ('other woman'  as seen by his fiancee and his mother and even the viewers, because we are waiting for official Jagan). I repeat, if a man asks to postpone his engagement just because he is going to drop some other woman (even if no romantic links is involved) except from his own family like mother/sister/bhabhi etc. then it is disrespecting his rishta with his future wife because he is saying that his priority is that woman and engagement can wait. 

First and foremost let me make something clear here . I see the story for this couple but i see it as it progresses , as it is . Neither do i defend any character which is a favorite of mine for the sake of it nor i defend a couple like a fan though i enjoy  . My habit is to look at the story till this point . Although i know JAGAN is the couple , till this point he has helped her in a personal capacity out of kindness only . He is recently pondering on some emotions like missing them and the void left by them . Shown in the serial .JAGAN romantic angle has nothing to do with my views . I look upon it as engagements being forced by mothers and i rebel in my thoughts for various reasons .

That said , i do not agree at all with the premise that engagements of official capacity are important and unavoidable and personal commitments can be adjusted , preponed or postponed or cancelled . If a personal commitment is extremely important to a person it is important , period . The importance level cannot be decided by other people , and holding the person at gun point emotionally and asking him to prioritize is cruel and mean . Going to levels of such manipulations is , well , sick . Be it Saanchi or Dadisa who hacked at the root and astutely told Ganga and solved the problem in a jiffy . But i don't want to talk about Saanchi in this post at all . Simply about the right and the lengths to which a mother should go to force her thoughts on the son .

The personal commitment is looked upon as giving importance to another woman is NOT looked at as HIS victory , He did a lot to help the woman and wanted to be there to say the final good bye .It is very important to HIM as it was a part of HIS  life experience . Others r poof poohing it but it was his struggle , important to HIM , and he finds ruthl;essly cutting off at this stage WRONG . Wait for a moment , lemme complete this and then i will do whatever u say is what he said and omg such a hoo haa was made of it , they all ganged up to break him , his independent thought process down . 

If official commitments r unavoidable , personal commitments r perhaps more important as they r promises made to your self . The office work gives u ur bread and butter but these promises boost or prick ur self esteem . Right now his self esteem is being  pricked . An  engagement is supposed to give happiness NOT a feeling of being trapped helplessly .

I would not like it if i was asked to give up a personal commitment i had intimated my family about days ago for a later fixed family function saying oh u can adjust , its not official anyways , or better still , give it up .

I would be angry .

Its not about prioritsation of important events at all , it s about devaluing me as a person .

Its also about making something a priorities issue when it need not have been so should have been effortless and cheerful .

So i disagree there . Whenever anyone is getting engaged , be it a girl or a guy , his/her official commitments AND personal commitments should be kept in mind . This is not true of Jagya alone but ANY person .

About him not respecting and attempting 'bonding' with his fiancee like Shiv and Shyam .

While Shiv was in love even before his rishta was fixed , he was also staying locally Jaitser . So was Shyam .

Jagya was not in love , indifferent to the marraige . Most arranged marraiges r like that . Infact Jagya was about to say no to the girl when the mother hurried and gave the 'Anandi saasra' reason and made him say yes according to her wishes .

The girl stays in a different city . While he is a burnt out divorcee , she is immature and likes to freak out and is college going . Yet his family thought it was a wonderful match for their son .

Where is the time for 'bonding ' ? Neither can he talk for hours on the phone as he is a doctor and his phone should NOT  be busy , nor can he meet her as she lives elsewhere in another city .Also the relation is pretty delicate , its 'Anandi's saasra' . After saying 'yes' she came once for the god bharaai and now for the engagement , namkaran and suryapujan . Does not this happen in Arranged marraiges ? 

Also why should 'bonding'  attempts and engagement prioritising attempts be only and only from his side ? Why did the girl not respect his emotions about his personal commitment and instead say that u know what , i too will come to Mangalore to see her off with u as it is so important to u ? After all , he was not going alone , that Kaka was there , the woman and her child was there and the girl had stayed for so many days , without engagement or marraige being fixed in his house and nursed him , right ? Also the girl is very firm and westernized in her thinking and gives a hang about impropriety . 

When Anandi was asked by Ira to take Shiv everywhere with her bcoz of the danger element in her vocation , a personal commitment , Shiv said 'only if she wishes ' . I wanted to applaud the man for his respect to his spouse .

I did NOT see any respect or emotional bonding attempts from the girl . 

I saw only rail roading . Phoning and telling the fiancee what to wear and how to behave is NOT emotional bonding attempt .

It goes BOTH ways . In arranged marraiges without emotional involvement it happens at a snail's pace , gradually . While Shiv and Shyam were locals and interested in the women , Jagya is neither .

So i feel their yardstick canot be applied to him .

Neither do i believe personal commitments r less important , nor do i believe in a sexist thought process of giving humanatarian help ...that its ok to help members of the same sex but not opposite sex . Neither do i believe that engagements should be made into a big issue of force by asking one to compromise on hi/her schedule be it the girl or the guy nor do i believe that of course this is MOST important , more important than other issues anyday .

I  believe that importance cannot be coreced .

So yes , lets agree to disagree .

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 17 August 2013 at 6:26am

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morningdew IF-Dazzler

Joined: 18 May 2005
Posts: 4139

Posted: 17 August 2013 at 6:54am | IP Logged
Word !! Koolsadhu, I love how you write, completely agree with everything you said.  Smile 

So much has been written and analysed already, so have nothing much left to say. I feel for Jagya, he is almost suffocated right now. He is even deprived of oxygen, is how I feel for him.

I am being very patient with this show, just to see how it evolves for him from now. 

The man deserves to break free and be liberated.  I remember how happy and free he used to feel in Ganga and Mannu's company. He is already on the road of figuring that out. Problem which will arise is, when he will realise he is in love with Ganga, he will feel even more trapped and guilty, since he would completely shy away from hurting his family's honor and sentiments further. He will be in utter inner hell. 

The only road out for him is Saanchi showing her true colours. How I am praying for that to happen soon. 

Edited by morningdew - 17 August 2013 at 7:44am

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BeautifulSoul_ IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 30 August 2011
Posts: 18400

Posted: 17 August 2013 at 7:43am | IP Logged

@Hooked ..Spot on  Sanchi is only an intended fiancee of Jagaya now on 16th she will become a fiancee There is a lot difference between an intended fiancee and a fiancee , a fiancee and a wife  Here I believe members are applying wife' s duties on Jagaya while the truth is Sanchi is only his intended fiancee and on 16th  will become fiancee  For now and till she don't become his wife their relationship is just knowing each other and deriving a conclusion are they ready to spend their lives with each other  Alliance , Engagement is not equal to marriage These are just pre stages before marriage that one sees his ./her partner before making him/ her life partner Why Jagaya should change his priorities for Sanchi ?if she cannot accept him as what he is so step back Members are saying he is two timing my question where he is ? is he hiding anything from Sanchi ?No He is clear to her for everything  does Sanchi not know him She does  if she  is not finding his priorities suitable why he should change she should back off from this marriage  Why Jagaya should change himself for her If she cannot adjust with him in what he is , what he is doing so she should back off .if Shekhars have issues they should back off from this alliance simple Now why Jagaya is suppose to keep distance from Ganga The responsibility he took if he wants to fulfill  till end of his life and Sanchi has issues with him she cannot adjust so call off the alliance why she is  tying knot with  him ?

if i have issues with my would be fiancee 's  works then i won't marry or i should apply on him he should change for me LOL


Edited by sidra08 - 17 August 2013 at 7:53am

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sectoreight Goldie

Joined: 20 July 2012
Posts: 1039

Posted: 17 August 2013 at 7:46am | IP Logged
kools  totally disagree with all your points,  but love your passion, and want to say how appreciative I am of your articulate stance in putting forth your views. ClapClapClap

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leavesandwaves IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 11 February 2009
Posts: 16993

Posted: 17 August 2013 at 8:14am | IP Logged
One simple question.

Is it better to break vaada and nip it in the bud.
Or go through a painful divorce. Once again.

Edited by leavesandwaves - 17 August 2013 at 8:16am

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mahi12 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 22 July 2011
Posts: 3359

Posted: 17 August 2013 at 8:32am | IP Logged
Its only an alliance fixed Alliance is not equal to marriage Alliance are 1000 times broken , engagements are broken if a person  feel he cannot adjust .  Sidra has rightly put it these are pre stages  before marriage why giving it tag of marriage? Why a person cannot call off a alliance or engagement ? The verbal commitments come in marriage not a only certificate You make promises then plus a marriage certificate and to break it you need  a divorce while an alliance and exchanging two rings are not equal to that ? Confused

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