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Today's Take - Parallel Conversations (Page 3)

PhoenixRising IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 28 October 2011
Posts: 29262

Posted: 05 August 2013 at 10:26pm | IP Logged
I loved the episode alot because it was Uma ben less no offense but I find her hard to bare her screen but I have accepted the fact she's one of the lead. I'm in a happy mood today loved Sanjana and Marthan scene they're hilarious. I loved both the mukut/Manav & Chanchan/Kaumudi scenes.

Very interesting & entertaining episode.  

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NNN-08- IF-Dazzler

Joined: 14 March 2013
Posts: 4041

Posted: 05 August 2013 at 10:38pm | IP Logged
Nice analysis.!!

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shonasandy IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 24 March 2012
Posts: 13224

Posted: 05 August 2013 at 11:07pm | IP Logged
I enjoy episode a lots...

Keep it up CVs 

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kbtr IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 24 July 2012
Posts: 10257

Posted: 05 August 2013 at 11:11pm | IP Logged
Thanks for your post. Always look forward to it. Just came online after watching the epi. So...

A very interesting episode tackling a problem that is increasingly prevalent in our society today, a problem peculiar to the Indian way of thinking, where for a girl, after marriage responsibilities to the family are sometimes more important than towards her husband.  And how changing times means that expectations are changing, and troubles arise when one partner has not kept pace.


 And he did make sense, which was why Manav actually listened quietly ... it wasn't just an affair, it was the feeling of neglect by his wife at the expense of her domestic chores and duties to the children, and a sharing of common interests with Mayuri. He has no intention of walking out on his responsibilities, but he has equally no intention of giving up a friendship which gives him the companionship he lacks in his marriage.


And let's for a moment suppose that Kaumudi actually lives the way Mukut wants. 
Yeah, can you see it? The whole household would be in a disarray. It's really easy to take the perspective of the other when everything appears magically out of nowhere. Food, clothes, clean house, etc... but has Mukut ever helped in all the chores Kaumudi does? If she stopped who would do all that she is. This is an argument of time immemorial. Mukut wants everything, yet doesn't give anything in return!

Anyway, the $10K kinda makes it obvious that Mayuri is after his (UB's!) money. As they say, a fool and his gold are soon parted!

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DiyaS IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 March 2009
Posts: 19636

Posted: 06 August 2013 at 12:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by capricorn2006

Great take Diya !

Copying what i wrote in Guinea's thread:

I didn't like some of CC's dialogues in her conversation with Kaumudi . I thought CC would try to explain to Kaumudi how she needs to understand that she is a wife too..not just a bahu and mother. Maybe it was too early and will come later...hoping for that.
I think it's a little early for that ... I hope it does come later. But I think the first thing to do was to reassure a very scared Kaumudi who was terrified that her husband would leave her with her kids, and she feels she has nowhere to go, and can't mange on her own. I did feel that she could have avoided the 'Mayuri is nothing compared to you' part ... because she will have to explain to Kaumudi in the future where she went wrong in dealing with Mukut. Kaumudi is from a level of society where she accepts almost any wrongs done by her husband, because of her own low self-esteem ... as long as they don't endanger her marriage and her kids. She will feel - she already did - that there is something lacking in her, which is why Mukut strayed. So the first thing to do was to reassure her that there is nothing wrong with her.

On the other hand, i liked how Mukut's POV was presented. And some really good acting by the actor. Manav could understand where he was coming from. Of course nothing justifies an EMA, but the incompatibility is definitely there.
Yes, that scene was VERY well done ... Mukut's arguments were all coherent, he pointed out specific instances to show how let down he felt with Kaumudi ... the actor was very good. And I liked the fact that Manav listened quietly ... trying to get to the root of the problem, rather than just bluster that Mukut was committing a sin and should be ashamed of himself. Of course nothing justifies an EMA, but it takes two hands to clap - if Mukut feels let down as a husband, he needs to introspect as to his own shortcomings in giving her the stature of a wife rather than just a bahu.

Also did anyone else feel Kaumudi's reaction was quite mild..not the actress...just that they moved over to the next scenes very fast.
I did feel that - but then anger would be from a person like you and me ... from a woman like Kaumudi, who has been brought up to be only wife and mother, and that it is her duty to keep her husband from straying, they were okay. Her biggest fear is not that her husband is straying, she feels inadequate enough to think that is justified ... her major fear is what if she is thrown out, where will she go with her daughters. And there are a lot of women who feel that way, both wives and MILs Confused ... who feel that is a man strays it is completely either his wife's fault, or the other woman's. The man is spotless in all this. Am betting Umaben will blame only the other woman, and will say that it is all the other woman's fault. Her choice of DIL can never be wrong.

Express speed if you ask me...any other show they would have spent 5 mins in showing Kaumudi's reaction and breakdown. They just moved on to the next scene as if hearing of her husband's EMA is no big deal for a woman.
If news of extension till March is true then why Confused

Honestly, if they are just planning to go the cliched daily soap route of the husband accepting his wife because of mangalsutra, marriage vows, kids and are going to skim over all the issues involved here, then this track has no purpose.
VERY TRUE!!! My feelings exactly! That's why I didn't like Chhanchhan's dialogues ... they seemed to be heading that way. The Manav-Mukut scene was much better in that at least they showed Mukut's grievances. I hope they take them up - after all, this show is supposed to show new age problems in a different light. And if the show has really got extension till March and is safe, they should have the confidence to show things their own way, not like all stereotypical saas bahu soaps.

The PH has to decide where they are going with this show. The TRPs are at their lowest and they are clearly not following the melodramatic way of story telling so might as well show something different.

There are so many things here..UB's manner of ruling the family and forcing her sons, Kaumudi's low self esteem, Incompatibility between Mukut- Kaumudi, a woman like Mayuri falling for a married much potential to show the complexity of relationships.
Again agree completely. They have a chance to really appeal to the urban viewers with this track ..let's hope they do it properly.

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DiyaS IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 March 2009
Posts: 19636

Posted: 06 August 2013 at 12:52am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Msfrootie

Hey! Interesting take..
Wat i could not understand was why Chhanchhan was still advising Kaumudi to try to impress Mukut  with her cooking etc, if she does want to retain him, shouldnt she be trying to spend more time with him n try to understand  why he strayed.. Advising her to again make dhokla for him seemed absurd..
Manav did hear out the whole of Mukut's grievances, and the concert bit may be was justified in some way, but surely he cant blame her for taking care of the kids. Not only is he not bothering to spend time with kids but resents Kaumudi for doing that..
Tomorrow is going to be another dhamaka.. Poor CC is yet  to recover from CC-UB dhamaka n the next one is here already.. What's the hurry???

@red - when did she do that? I think all she told Kaumudi was that Kaumudi is a wonderful wife, and Mayuri is nothing compared to her!
 Kaumudi was scared that her husband was ready to walk out on her, and was already blaming herself, that it was her shortcomings that caused this ... so I guess the first thing to do was to reassure her that she was wonderful, there was nothing wrong with her, and her marriage bonds were strong enough to withstand this problem.

@blue ... in every marriage, it takes two hands to clap. Mukut has grievances, they may be genuine or not, but he did have a point .. he wants a wife, a companion, and he feels she is too busy with domestic chores to have time for him.
It's a tightrope every girl walks, especially in a joint family. It's not her own home that she can decide to leave the utensils for an hour and spend some time with her husband, or go off with him for a concert, if her MIL is expecting guests - it is the husband's duty to tell his mom that he is going out with his wife, and his mom has to manage her guests herself.
But it is a wife's duty that when her husband comes home, she gets up to look after him ... story telling can wait. Or she can tell the kids that papa is back and make it a family time for them all, include him in it too. And he can do the same. Both husband and wife have to work on this, not just one person. And that is really what I want them to show here ... not that Kaumudi is a saint and Mukut is a sinner for having strayed.

I hope they take some time on this track and not wrap it up in three episodes! Agree .. what's the hurry ... esp if the show has got extension.

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DiyaS IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 March 2009
Posts: 19636

Posted: 06 August 2013 at 1:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by golpokobita

Good to see your post! 

You are right. The kind of problem is new to our society .. but its increasing rapidly. With the rise of individualism, women's participation in outside works and intrusion of western lifestyles.. these problems are increasing.. Joint families are breaking. Because, if you are in a joint family you just can't have a life of your own, in your own style.. Jobs are defined there and women in joint family are supposed to do household and take care of family.. and their jobs are for the whole family not for a particular unit (her own husband and children.).. Whether its good or bad is a different question altogether, but its an obvious and inevitable reality. 

Mukut is a part of a joint family and he has known and seen all his life how women acts in his family.. its not only his wife, every woman. So if he thinks he is not getting what he is entitled as a husband from his wife... he is the one who should have solved the problem.. he could have talked to his wife or device something which would help both of them to look into each other's needs. He is not the only sufferer, kaumadi, too is a sufferer. What has he done to know or ensure what his wife wants from him... let alone providing her with those things!

Then there is another point he makes, Mayuri is smart, well dressed, eloquent and an interesting company. No problem with that. But the question is, he knew it when he married kaumadi that she is not like that. She is a village girl who was not exposed to such things in life. What has he done to ensure kaumadi also gets the chances to change herself  from a village girl to a modern girl? Has he invested single amount of time or money or energy for kaumadi??? He said when he used to come back home, kaumadi would have remained busy with children. What has he done then?? Has he shared kaumadi's burden?? Spared some of his time for his own children?

So i think, all those arguments he was giving are lame and cowardice. He said he was not running away from his responsibilities.. Really??? Wasn't it his responsibility to remain loyal to his wife, to understand his wife's problems and to extend his hands to her?? For me, there was not a word which justifies his double -standard  personality and lowly  behaviors to his wife and children. 

Anyways, i think I should stop now... I am getting too emotional ..

Another thing I think CVs should take care of.. that is, things are moving too fast!  They should give each issue/track some time ..

Agree with you on many of your points. I have always said that in a joint family, the onus is always on the husband to support his wife .. she enters a new place, new people, she cannot lay down the law and start doing whatever she wants to do ... she has to have her husband's support. And that is what they showed very beautifully with Chhanchhan and Manav ... he always supported her in whatever she did. When Umaben sent her to the kitchen to clean up, he came down to help her. And vice versa ... when she cancelled their trip, and he got angry, she went out of her way to cajole him.
So it is a two way street ... the problem is that Kaumudi never had the confidence to do what Chhanchhan does ... she has been brought up differently.
And Mukut is taking the easy way out, by blaming her for all his problems with the marriage ... agree with you completely, if he had problem with her being uneducated, unpolished, did he ever try to help her overcome that? Did he ever have the guts to go against his mom and say, sorry you handle your guests, I'm taking my wife out? Kaumudi can't say that, but HE can. He could have encouraged her to learn English, to study by correspondence ... any number of things to improve herself ...
And if he had such a problem with marrying an uneducated village girl, he should have said so in the first place. Why grumble now after two kids?

But I hope is that they show Kaumudi also changing and becoming a little more assertive, not taking on everyone's chores, and being a doormat ... that is her fault - maybe not hers, but that of her upbringing and that of Umaben to some extent ... the rules she enforces so strictly, she does not bother about the needs of her sons, vs the family as a collective whole. And I also want Kaumudi to try for that extra polish ... maybe start a tiffin business, do something to become more independent and develop her self-respect and pride.

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DiyaS IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 March 2009
Posts: 19636

Posted: 06 August 2013 at 1:19am | IP Logged
Originally posted by jaya100

Loved your take Dia and loved the episode too. Agree, firstly ChanMan need to learn from SanMan who close their bedroom door even to drink tea.Big smile The cv's did really well today...they are hurtling down the road with their tracks (I still wonder why especially if the March extension is true) but at the same time they didn't miss out on the depth needed for the important scenes. I love that because they don't waste time on useless camera panning scenes they can give us beautiful little scenes which tie the show together like the SanMan scene or the RanChanKaumudi scene and even the homework scene.
The parrallel scenes were fantastic and realistically done. It made sense that Manav would talk to Mukut and CC to Kaumudi. The CC-Kaumudi scene was beautiful. Kudos to the actress who plays Kaumudi, it would be so easy to overact in this scene but she gave it the right amount of emotion to show her devastation but stayed within the boundaries  of the character. Even in grief Kaumudi is thinking of others, in this case UB. I loved the way the modern CC was explaining the rights that the mangla sutra around Kaumudi's neck gave her...again this was part of the show's original concept that being contemporary doesn't mean that a girl does't value her traditions. I think the show got off on the wrong foot with the 'modern bahu' tag, it should always have been a girl of today as Sanaya described it. I really want to know which way the cv's are going with this and I hope they'll go about the track in a way in which they make Kaumudi self reliant and increase her self esteem (my heart bled when she said 'the fault must lie with me' many generations of women have passed on this self depreciating way of thinking down to the next generation of girls, why don't we make our daughters stronger mentally?). I want the cv's to make up for not making Purvi self sufficient by showing Kaumudi taking care of herself and her daughters and have Mukut work at winning her back rather than Kaumudi changing for Mukut. I've been wondering if the cv's will go the Biwi#1 route and have Mukut move in with Mayuri and CC will make Kaumudi send the girls there...that little one (Sakshi??) is so cute and I can just imagine her giving Mayuri a hard time.Smile
The Mukut scene was also one where it made you stop and listen to his viewpoint.I found myself again empathizing with Mukut even though I couldn't excuse the route he decided to take. He's become defensive and defiant on being discovered and is justifying his actions by saying that he is still taking care of his responsibilities although he seems to have forgotten about the duty he has towards his families emotional well being. Instead of blaming Kaumudi for not going to the concert he should have spoken to UB and insisted on taking her. Somehow, even though I don't like his actions I can't hate him either because he too is a victim of his upbringing. 
I actually don't even blame UB totally because by making her son marry a girl she chose she just did what generations before her did and in fact what she herself probably went through and like her elders she just expected KauMuk to get on with the business of being a married couple as generations before them had. I guess with the speed with which people are evolving because of all the outside influences it's hard for some people to understand and keep up with the changing times. 

Thanks, Jaya ... I too loved the episode, and I love the non-melodramatic way they are showing things.

Agree with you about Kaumudi ... the natural reaction of a woman with her upbringing is to blame herself. She has very low self-esteem, and that grouch of a husband does absolutely nothing for it! Yes, he has different expectations, but then he has to tell her and then help her ... she can't do much on her own, especially with that Hitler MIL Umaben breathing down her neck with all her rules and regulations. Mukut has never opposed Umaben directly ... he always supports her, so how does he expect Kaumudi to go against all her rules? I had the same thought about the concert ... Kaumudi was cooking for Umaben's guests ... if Mukut wanted, he could have told his mom that he was taking his wife out, and UB had to manage ... Kaumudi could not do that. That is the difference between them and Chhanchhan Manav - Manav supports Chhanchhan, and hence she can do whatever she does.

Changing times, changing expectations ... in this case Kaumudi has not kept up with the times ... she is doing what her mother and MIL have done, but Mukut wants something different. Well then, he has to support her more.

I really hope they take thier time over this track ... it is very interestingly poised. The way they have shown Mukut air his issues and Manav listen to him patiently, gives me hope ... fingers crossed.

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