Joined: 09 March 2012
'You did this! Your broke our marriage! I will never forget this! I will take this to my grave!'
'But mom I did not break this marriage! Why can't you understand that he is hurting you! I cannot see you get beaten up every time. I have watched this happen for all my life. Why can't you understand.'
'You know nothing about marriage. HE IS MY HUSBAND no matter what he does to me! You're just a hindrance in all of our lives! I made a mistake by making you.'
Gentle cool breeze brushed against the strands of my hair. Sunlight beams raining down on my pale body bringing more depth in to my boring old face. By the looks of this weather I knew many out there were enjoying the beautiful summer air. If anyone was to witness this glorious day nobody would have ever guessed, that a horrible act was about to take place.
I edged closer to capture a sneak peek down below. Cars were lined up at the side of the sidewalk, whilst not a soul was to be seen. This isolated lane was the perfect spot and I chose with care before I decided what I was about to do.
Another step forward I took. Deep breaths, fists closed and I waited. You might ask me, why, but I do not know. Something made me freeze on the spot and the gates to my memories flooded back in.
'What's your name?,' he asked, cheekily grinning down at me. I rolled my eyes and continued to stack more books in to the stalls. He came to the other side. 'So aren't you going to answer me?,' he asked, again.
'Why can't you just leave me alone,' I responded annoyed at his antics. Arnav Singh Razaida has been trying to get me to say my name for at least 2 days now. He was believed to be one of the most successful and businessmen in the fashion industry. Although currently he was not acting like one. If another woman was in my place I knew they would jump the opportunity to get noticed by, but not me. Yes, he did look like a greek gods twin, except I was not interested in any sort of relationship. That was a dangerous path for me to take, especially if it was someone like him.
He gave me another of his cheeky grins. 'Maybe because I don't want to leave you alone. Come on, it's been 2 days. Why won't you just tell me your name.'
For a moment I took a break from stacking the library shelves with books. 'I don't want to tell a stranger my name. Frankly I am not interested either so if you please would shut up and leave me alone that would be fantastic.'
Suddenly his grin disappeared and a serious expression appeared across his face. He leaned closer toward me and gazed in to my eyes. Atmosphere around us changed in to an unspeakable intensity that I could not comprehend.
'Why? Are you afraid I might read in to your soul? Afraid I might see all your secrets.'
His strong whisper sent a shiver down my back. Panic settled in to the pit of my stomach at how true he was. How did he guess?
Laughter began to ring in my ears and I realized that he was laughing. Head held back, hands on his stomach; he was really laughing hard. The tension in the air disappeared leaving me to feel relieved, yet at the same time pissed off. How could he scared me like that!
Angry with myself for falling for such a trick, I closed my fists to control my temper. 'You're an ass!'
He paused his laughter. 'Oh come on I was just joking. You didn't have to take it so seriously Khushi'
My breath hitched at the mention of my name. Nobody has ever said my name with such beauty; such gentleness. Not even my own parents have uttered it with care. Momentarily I forgot that he knew my name all along. I forgot that all this time he was annoying for me no reason. All what mattered was he spoke my name like no other has ever stated before.
'You knew my name,' I found myself asking in a whisper.
Arnav shrugged, 'I did. You actually thought I'd have the patience to wait for 2 days to know your name? The day you refused me I went ahead and asked the librarian. She usually doesn't give out names, but what can I say, nobody can get away from my charm.'
Arrogance was one of his key traits that's for sure. 'You really think you're some kind of god don't you.' It was a statement more than a question.
He grinned again. 'No I think I am just a very lovable human being, but if you want to call me a god that's fine too. Didn't know I was that special to you, ' he added, with a wink.
'Oh yes, you're very special. I am dying under your beautiful presence,' sarcastically I responded, and began my previous work.
'I have a feeling we are going to be great friends Khushi', he said, while he helped stack the books in order.
Ha, great friends indeed... Yeah right!
2 years later...
'Arnav why can't you just let this be!'
His arms trapped me in between the walls holding my tiny body close. Our noses grazed and he spoke out in a whisper. 'Because it's been 2 years already. We have been friends for this long and you are still denying our feelings for each other. Why can't you see that I love you. I love you regardless of your past, present or future. Why can't you see that I want to make you smile, make you happy.'
Unable to face his gaze I turned my head to a side. Tear ducts were ready to spill down the waterfall I controlled with great difficulty. 'I don't want to depend on someone to make me happy. If something goes wrong and you walk out then who is going to help me fix the pieces? You know I am already broken Arnav so why would I break myself more.'
Soft lips glided down to my neck.
'Why can't you understand that I will not leave you. Why don't you understand that you have become my breath. I literally breathe because of your presence. Khushi give us a chance darling. I need to prove to you that we will make it. How would you know if you don't take a leap of faith?'
He cupped my face to turn towards him. Before I could respond to his words, his lips came down on mine and heaven exploded.
4 years later...
'Arnav stop it,' I whispered with a giggle, but he continued to kiss my shoulder gently each passing time. We were seated underneath an oak tree by the lake side watching in to the distance. Wrapped tightly against each other, not giving a care for the world.
'Why should I?,' he asked, cheekily. 'I am only loving my fiance.'
Smiling I turned around to capture his lips for a kiss. Passionately we kissed until it was time for us to breathe in some oxygen. Foreheads leaned against each other he smiled at me. Joy illuminating his face with absolute peace.
When he first proposed to me I ran away. Literally ran for my life, until he caught up me and convinced me why we are perfect for each other. I refused frantically, especially being a witness to my parents failed marriage for years. But this man was persistent. He did not let me go until he convinced me of our strong love. Arnav opened the gates to my soul making me realize why I was worth it.
'I cannot wait to wake up next to you every morning. To share your dreams with mine. To have our own little family.'
'Me too,' I whispered, gently caressing his lips. He was my angel.. The angel that had so much faith in me.
The flood gates shut and I landed back in to reality. My eyes looked down to the streets as I backed away in fear letting all my tears drop one by one to the floor. Guilt ripped through out my entire body at what I was about to do.
Since I was a child I dreamed of changing the world. Making it a better place, promising myself to heal those who are with broken hearts. From my entire journey I believed I will achieve this all alone, until he came along and changed it. My angel showed me what love really was. I was brought in to a world where it was okay to have someone to help you. So why should I take the plunge just because someone else told me I was a mistake? One person's opinion did not matter when there is an entire world for me to overcome.
Suicide might be the easy answer, but will that help me achieve my dreams? Will that ever let me have a happy life with someone I love? God is giving me a second chance so why am I trying to destroy it?
Lifting up my ring finger I stared at the diamond ring, which was snugly fit in to my finger. I lifted it up to my lips and laid a kiss. This was a symbol to my second chance at life and I will take it. No matter what the circumstance might be.
I am not aware of what circumstances each of you are facing. I am not aware of your past or your present. How ever I do know one thing; suicide isn't the answer to any of it. No matter what life throws at you- I mean no matter what it is. It can be the most horrifying circumstance that you have ever faced, but suicide is still not the answer. Dying isn't an easy way out. That is just you answer to life saying 'I give up' Do you think you will be happy after death knowing that you could have fought through and had a second chance? No. Life is a bitch sometimes- actually all the time, but if you're going to let life throw you down then you cannot blame life. You're in a ring with life. Fight back and get your revenge. You know what your revenge is? Success, happiness, joy, a second chance. No matter what happens it does get better when you KEEP ON FIGHTING. No matter what you think there are people out there that loves you. You are loved, you are strong, you are beautiful. Never forget that.
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