Jokes, jokes, and more jokes

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Joined: 26 August 2004

Posts: 3898

Posted: 07 November 2004 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and deposits a poopy little present on the woman's head.
"Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper."
"What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now.".
Did you hear about the scientist who crossed a carrier pigeon with a woodpecker?
He got a bird that not only delivers messages to their destination, but knocks on the door when it gets there.
Q: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.
A couple were sitting in the living room watching TV when the phone rang.
Husband picked it up, listened for a minute then screamed, "How the hell would I know? Call the weather bureau!"
Wife: "What was that all about?"
Husband replied, "Aw, it was just some dumb dork wanting to know if the coast was clear".
Titanic is going to be drowned. Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God, just then a passenger asked the captain of the ship.
Passenger: How far is land, from here?
Captain: Two miles...
Passenger: Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.
Captsin: .....!@#$% ...??
Passenger: Just tell me which side, land is two miles from here ?
Captain: Downwards....
Women are like computers...
as soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
My wife ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!".

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