Joined: 31 March 2008
'You realize how much a person means to you when they have walked away and are no longer in your life'.
Asad Ahmed Khan clutched his head tightly as he sat on the floor in his room. What were supposed to be the most magical days of his life, were now the most painful. What had he done? And most of all, why couldn't he remember any of it? Zoya's tear-stricken face haunted him day and night, her parting words pierced his heart like sharp knives.
Hum bewafa, hargiz na the, par hum wafaa kar na sake,
Hum ko mili, uski sazaa, hum jo khata, kar na sake,
He looked out towards his balcony, and recalled the day when the two of them had managed to find a 'loophole in the ceremonial tradition'; or so she said. He could have sworn that it was one of the best nights of his life; despite the fact that they weren't allowed to see each other, they had talked that night like never before. They had held hands and prayed for their better future together; they had been so close to confessing their love for one another. He had been putting it off for so long, and now, he'd give anything to see her face, hold her tight and tell her how much he loved her. He'd never thought he'd stoop so low, be so weak that he wouldn't be able to control himself when alone with a woman. That too, with Tanveer, one of his closest friends and someone he didn't have the slightest shards of feelings for; someone he wasn't even remotely attracted to. What had happened? How had things gone so wrong? WHY couldn't he remember?
He clutched his head tighter, pulling at his hair in the process, in hope that something, anything would come to his mind; something would trigger off the ghastly memory of what had happened that fateful night.
Kitni akeli thi woh rahein hum jin pe, ab tak akele chalte rahe,
Tujhse bicchad ke o bekhabar, tere hi ghum mein, jalte rahe,
He thought of all the times when he'd wished that she would simply disappear from his life; the times when she had, according to him done something utterly stupid. She had driven absolutely insane from the very first day that they had met, and yet, when he'd seen her break down at the mazhaar, he knew there was something so vulnerable about her that he was drawn like a moth to a flame. And then she had argued with him like there was no tomorrow; she had been the first woman who had talked back; she had been the first woman who had challenged him, made him realize how judgmental he was. She was the first woman who had made him feel things that were unknown to him. She was his antithesis in every single way possible and though it had taken him long to realize it, he'd have it no other way. He'd never been a believer in 'love', especially after what happened to his mother.
But then, somehow, he'd started to fall for his Miss. New York. He had hated her guts, her shayaris, the fact that she wore jeans, the fact that she argued back non-stop with him, and the fact that she had a mind of her own. But then, he had come to realize that it was him who was narrow minded, it was him who had no sense of tehzeeb and it was him who judged her because of what clothes she wore and not who she was as a person.
And as a person, she was beautiful; both inside and out. She took care of his family as if it was hers; she took care of everyone else's needs before her own, and when she cared about something or someone, she gave it her all. She was clever, and funny and loud-mouthed. She was like the ray of sunshine that brought light into everyone's dreary and monotonous lives. And when he'd come to know of the things that she had endured; her parents' death, the fire in the factory; when he'd come to know that despite all the hardships that she had gone through, she still had a smile for everyone, the hatred and annoyance that he had for her quirky habits, turned into adoration.
He didn't know how or why, but he had started to see her for who she was and not for the kind or clothes she wore; and he couldn't have been more thankful for that. What wouldn't he give to see her standing on his bed, waving her arms about, arguing with him, breaking into her mindless shayaris?
Tumne jo dekha suna sach tha magar, kitna tha sach yeh kisko pata?
Jaane tumhe maine koi dhokha diya, jaane tumhe koi, dhokha hua?
He remembered sitting in his room just the way he was sitting now, a few months ago; his feelings for Zoya were eating him alive and he refused to acknowledge them. He was afraid of falling in love. He was afraid to hurt her. He was afraid to become like his father. And now, things were going exactly according to his worst nightmare. He hadn't, in his wildest dreams thought that he would end up hurting her like this; he had vowed to himself that he wouldn't do something so terrible to the woman he loved. But what had he done? He had cheated on her, he had slept with another woman, and he had broken her trust and heart.
He had always thought that they had an unconventional love story. They loved and hated each other intensely; and yet, were too afraid to voice their feelings out; but somehow, they simply knew what the other was feeling. They had a unique bond.
A bond that had been broken by him several times, he thought. When she saw him in bed with Tanveer, his eyes pleaded with hers to not believe what she saw. But why wouldn't she? Hadn't he done the same thing to her over and over again? He hadn't believed her over anyone else. He knew that he didn't know what had happened that night, but he was hoping that her belief in his innocence would be a start. He somehow knew that he hadn't fallen so low as to have done something so horrifying. But it was his insecurity, his mother's comments that likened him to his father that had him absolutely shattered.
He didn't even know right from wrong anymore. He didn't know what to believe. He loved Zoya, and yet he had never trusted her. He had always ended up hurting her and somehow, everything had piled up so much, with his one act tipping the balance in such a way that no matter what he felt for her, everything that he had done otherwise was outshining his love.
Iss pyaar mein, sach jhooth ka, tum faisla, naa kar sake,
Hum bewafaa, hargiz na the, par hum wafaa kar naa sake.
He had lost her, he knew. He would simply hope that she would come home; he would lay wide awake on his bed, hoping that wherever she was, she would be safe; that wherever she was, one day, she would be able to forgive him.
Humko mili, uski sazaa, hum jo khata, kar na sake.
And that's a wrap people! I know, thoda sad thaa, but whatever.
Do let me know what you think! Chappals and jootas are welcome. Plus, reviews are like cookies. I LOVE THEM!
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Asad Asad Asad
Author: -Amby- Replies: 16 Views: 8663
|-Amby-||16||8663||29 November 2013 at 9:08am by ..Zainab..|
Asad's male friends - Asad's time to get jealous!
Author: nmarkan Replies: 35 Views: 15596
|nmarkan||35||15596||21 July 2013 at 11:35am by -AppleOfMaEye-|
Asad turns soft 4 Zoya,Tanveer try get Asad closer
Author: zan101 Replies: 15 Views: 10253
|zan101||15||10253||25 June 2013 at 6:58pm by zan101|
ASAD ASAD ASAD i love you KSG
Author: -GoogleWithMe- Replies: 9 Views: 5514
|-GoogleWithMe-||9||5514||27 May 2013 at 11:38am by tareyfan|
Author: Eternal1234 Replies: 16 Views: 5583
|Eternal1234||16||5583||19 April 2013 at 7:37pm by ..sweetchilly..|
Alka was seen in popular shows like Qubool Hai, Sarojini and Swaragini ...
And you will see it at the soonest..
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