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Punar Vivaah Ek Nayi Umeed
Punar Vivaah Ek Nayi Umeed

Thoughts 26th june, 2013

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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 4:53pm | IP Logged

Well today it became clear that Sarita is not leaving this house not because she does not have any choice but because she simply does not want to leave. Shiela thinks that she does not want to leave because of them but Sarita does not want to leave because she is in love with her husband. So she will scream...shout...moan ...play with people's feelings but she will cling on to what she refers to as marriage because of her husband. Earlier she used to threaten her MIL that she will tell her parents and now with the renewed hope that Raj loves her (courtesy of Divya) she has progressed a step further and threatened her MIL with police complains. Maybe she thinks that since Raj might care for her he might also openly support her and not his mother. But I found her talking of her self-respect a bit strange...she said that she is putting her foot down regarding the abuse for her self-respect...fine...I get that and good of her to do so because they deserve it but then why stay in this house and face insult everyday...isn't that also affecting her self-respect? Is emotionally manipulating Raj to get what she wants is also for ok with her self-respect? Is guilt tripping Divya also ok for her self-respect? Which person with any self respect resorts to manipulation? Yes Divya is also emotionally manipulating Raj and she is doing it more than Sarita but she is aware that she is doing wrong and is ashamed for it. So when it comes to what Sarita wants...self-respect can fly out of the window or it can become the most important thing. After guilt tripping Divya she was moaning that she is feeling small because she had to beg he husband's ex-girlfriend to get her rights. She had no problem blaming someone who is not responsible for her condition but her ego was hurt because she had to ask Divya. But she did it because that was the only way she could see to get to Raj. So basically for Sarita it is coming down to what she wants...or what is important to her...Ahhh now I get it ...this is great love because she does not care for her self-respect when it is linked to getting Raj, never mind someone else is getting hurt in the process. So this is devotion? When does devotion include hurting someone's feelings to get what one wants? Anyway that dadi is another case...she was back patting Sarita that it is good that she put her foot down regarding Kamu and threatened her with police...yes that was good, there is no doubt about it but has dadi even thought that Kamu can also do the same regarding her? Dadi has been insulting and bad mouthing Kamu even before Sarita entered the house...she was doing it on Sarita's marriage day and was insulting Kamu in front of guests...so shouldn't the police arrest her too? What a bunch of hypocrites. And Shiela wants to be just like Sarita when she gets married...hmmm...so that means to cling on to someone however abusive the situation might be.

 

Regarding Divya...I am wondering when can she get out of that house...on one side is Sarita...other side Raj...then the two empty headed daughters of Kamu...then Kamu herself...then Shiela and her snide remarks...plus dadi and her pseudo caring talks... oh I forgot Sohu is also there and all are after her to get something from her and she usually deals with them with patience and a smile on her face. Although she did not want to go but like a good sport she went...she was not hungry but like a good sport accepted the food from Kamu...but I couldn't understand that why did Sarita snatch the pakoras?...was it because Kamu said that she makes the best ones or was it because Kamu was paying attention to Divya. Anyway when Sarita was brought home and Raj told her that he believes in the prophecy regarding Sarita dyeing and he wanted to know what Sarita wants...Divya knows what Sarita wants but she did not want to tell Raj...so she passed it on to Sarita and at the end just blurted out that Sarita wants him. Divya thinks that Raj was stammering regarding asking Sarita because he is feeling shy since he has developed feelings for her...she has linked this to her reactions when she used to stammer in front of Raj because she used to get confused regarding her feelings for him. If  I accept that although Raj is openly saying that he does not love Sarita and all this care is due to concern and humanity...subconsciously he might have developed feelings that he is not aware of...but isn't Divya again making an impulsive decision based on what she has gone trough in life? She did the same thing in that Jhoomar accident...since it used to be ok in the daily soap opera shootings she thought it will be ok in reality too and she was quickly brought down to earth. Here too she is guessing Raj's reasoning based on her reactions...not everybody will have same reasoning behind a reaction...maybe Raj was feeling awkward asking Sarita not because he subconsciously loves her but because for 10 years he has ignored her and now he is feeling awkward regarding approaching her because he does not really know her. Maybe he is also feeling guilty. Wonder what will Divya do if and when she realizes that all the symptoms that she was thinking of love regarding Raj were just concern...and wonder how she will tell Sarita and what will happen if that is the case. Anyway I found the scene when Raj was talking to sleeping Sarita interesting...she was complaining that God should have left her dreaming and Raj talking to her woke her up...it is actually true...she is in her own dream world and she will come down to earth when and if Raj tells her that he does not love her and all this was just concern for her.

 

Both Divya and Sarita are playing big time with Raj's emotions...Divya knows and accepts it and she had an awkward look when Raj told her that he believes in that prophecy...but Sarita is oblivious because that does not concern her.



Edited by misti73 - 27 June 2013 at 1:08am

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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 9:04pm | IP Logged
Misti,  you have written exactly what I thought after watchng the show.  Sarita is coming to me as a pretty screwed up character.  They finally showed what has been coming across in last few days.  She is tolerating abuse because she wants to be near Raj.  She can easily intimidate and shut Kamla up if she wants to.  She did it previously by threatening about her parents and today she did it using police.  Kamla is small time bully who are aggressive when they one to be weak but back down if somebody stands up to them.  Normally, I would cheer Sarita type behavior.  But here she was not coming in good light to me.  I know there are girls who tolerate abuse despite having other options because of their "love" or neediness for some guy.  But still my sympathy is more for girls who have no other choice.  Here Sarita had a choice and she is choosing this life of abuse because of her objective staying close to Raj.  Her words that she would only leave the house if Raj tells her to do so did not seem like "self respect" at all.  Neither does her underhanded methods of getting Raj by using Divya in making her feel so guilty is "self respect".  

Dadi sounded a hypocrite when she was appreciating Sarita when she herself is an abusive person.  10 years ago they showed a rather helpless Kamla who was pleading with Sohan Lal while Dadi was quitely watching her son abusing and threatening to slap her daugther-in-law.  I was thinking the same thing that Sarita can send Kamla to jail and Kamla can send Sohu and Dadi to jail.  Wonder who will kill whom if all three have to share jail - Dadi, Kamla and Sohu. 

Shiela the feather brain was another one who was coming across as a hypocrite.  Why does she want to emulate Sarita?  Is tolerating abuse for one's "love" something that needs to be emulated?  She has empathy for Sarita, but none for her mother.  I don't get daughters like that who can taunt their mother for something they have no control over - the father bringing another woman or one who can empathize with a grandmother who abuses the mother.  That's why her character is irritating to me.

Divya again had a nice escape from this lunatic family.  Would Raj have reacted if they had abused Divya?  The way he was in the car ignoring Kamla's derogative words to Sarita makes me think that it is pretty routine for him to hear this kind of abuse.  Probably, he has heard it all his life with Dadi/father abusing Kamla and doesn't think too much of it even though he has now stood up for Sarita.  Divya is the one who cringes at this uncouth behavior but probably can deal with Kamla better as her style is different from Sarita.  Of course Kamla has a soft corner for Divya.  Yet Divya too humors her unlike Sarita who shows her disdain openly.  Not that I am excusing Kamla's behavior but Kamla and Sarita do react to each other a lot.  Kamla is also abusive to her own daughters as empty headed as they are.  But she reacts pretty strongly to Sarita's personality.  

I was not feeling too sympathetic towards Divya today because as torn up as she is, she is manipulating another person rather badly.  Sometimes these too sacrificing people end up sacrificing a close one to fulfill their objectives.  That's why my sympathy for "too sacrificing" people become limited because they tend to mess up people's lives in their quest for a "noble" goal.  I know that Divya has been doing it out of guilt.  But still this is very wrong.  Also she is projeting her own feelings on Raj.  As you said, people may behaves same even though the reasons may be different.  His fumbling came across as awkwardness and feeling guilty to me.  Also Raj was hoping that SArita and his family do not mistake his gestures as "developing" love.  That is more realistic for me to believe than the notion that Raj had developed feelings for Sarita in 10 years and was just unaware about them.  A person who develops feelings for the other person doesn't behave the way Raj behaved.   I think Sarita and Divya are going to crash to earth when they realize that they mistook Raj's concern as love.  Divya I believe would be devastated and Sarita would be shattered too.  But she probably will again blame Divya for this.  I too found Sarita's observvation that she wanted to sleep because she was dreaming about Raj the way she wants him to be with her.  So she doesn't want to wake up from delusions because it is quite comforting to live like that for her.  Probably she has got used to it in 10 years.  Wonder what will cause her to come out of it.  Right now, she is oblivious to everything around her.

Kamu and Sohu are in their own world where they are not realizing that their plans always backfire.  Wasn't Sohu's grand plan to marry Raj to a rich girl and Kamul was expecting that RAj would fall for Sarita once they have a son.  That did not work out at all.  Now they are involved in other plans that are backfiring big time.  Kamu is her own worst enemy.  If she had just given pakoras and kheer to Divya without going overboard with her taunts to Sarita, her plan would have worked.  But she become too zealous in her quest to imnpress Sohu.  Of course they are living in their delusional world where they are unaware of their son's nature.  if Divya gets drugged, Raj would never take advantage of her becaue that would be rape.  In any case, their plan did not work out because Sarita as usual reacted when too much attention was showered on Divya.  Again if she reacts to such small stuff despite knowing Kamu's nature and knowing very well that Divya is not seeking it, then what will be her reaction when Divya's plans fail and Raj informs her that he would always love Divya.  

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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 9:18pm | IP Logged
THANKS I NO AFTER RAJ WILL NO IS DIVYA PLAN WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO DIVYA HOW SHE WILL FACE RAJ
TODAY RAJ MUM IS SO FUNNY SHE KEEP ASKING DIVYA TO EAT KEER
SARITA IS TO MUCH NOW SHE DONT NO RAJ IS ONLY WORRY FOR HER NO LOVE ONLY HE LOVE DIVYA

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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 10:26pm | IP Logged
Great posts Misti and Angie Clap.
I have stopped watching the show for last few days - my MIL found Raj-Divya romance repulsive; she was like why can't Raj wait till his divorce goes through. So now we watch old episodes of Sarabhai vs Sarabhai or some similar series at that time.
 
Though I don't follow the show, I am still curious to know what happens to Sarita, Raj and Divya - so I keep up through posts and yours make a very good reading
 
I, for the most part, agree with your views on Sarita. What she feels for Raj is not love, no one can fall for someone as closed as Raj. But I still feel that she stuck to the marriage as she had no other choice - choices are not always about logistics, they are often about mental conditioning. If you start believing firmly that the love of your husband is your ultimate goal, your salvation and you do not and cannot have any other purpose in life, if the success and failure of your entire life depends of making your marriage a success, then how does having money or parents' support help? Money and support can only help if you know what to do with that and Sarita doesn't know that. Partly a fault of the people she grew with - wish they had told her that her life is not constrained by her husband's opinion about her, wish they had instilled some belief in her own self worth. She is very clingy and needy, with a big mouth and low self esteem.
But I don't think she is self-destructive - an isolated case of impulsively cutting her hand does not prove that. Raj openly showing concern for her is very new to her and she is reveling in that. I feel sorry and concerned that she too is moving toward her breaking point.
 
Divya - I feel sorry for the mess she is in but I am also alarmed by her stupidity. It was a party with lots of people - that chandelier could have fallen on anybody, and caused death or severe mutilation. There's no way she could time it to fall on Sarita only - anybody could have come up to talk to the hostess. Also, she must be having ultimate trust not only on Raj's intent (to save Sarita) but also on his reaction time. A nanosecond slow reaction from Raj and the prophecy would have come true and she would have spent rest of her life in prison. Also, if you do something once in the heat of a moment, that can be impulsiveness but if you continue repeating the same kind of mistake again and again, it's stupidity. Emotional manipulation of Raj is stupid - does she truly think that Raj will fall for Sarita in 20 days. What will she do after that? Why can't she just say to Sarita - "sorry lady I don't have any plans because I don't know what to do". She should be proud of her accomplishments - that she could fill in the gap left by her parents in her siblings' life  and be so successful on her own. Instead she is wallowing in guilt that too for people like Raj and Sarita who have offered her no support till now. Or, maybe she is moving towards sainthood.
 
Raj - so finally he is guilty. I too think it's just concern for Sarita at the moment. But seriously folks, candle light dinner???? You don't do that out of concern - and on top of that, he's concerned that people will mistakenly assume his care for love.  I think he should stop and think what will he do if Sarita does not die in 20 days. It would be more cruel to get Sarita's hopes up and then crash them (strictly from Raj's point of view).  If the emotional manipulation of Raj is wrong, then what he's now doing to Sarita is also wrong. He said that he married Sarita as she was waiting for him at the altar - didn't he pause and think that after marriage, she would wait for him in their bedroom. Did he think that jilting a girl on altar was worse that brutally rejecting her on wedding night? Does he think that he can go back to be the indifferent Raj once again if Sarita does not die? Or is he prepared to keep up the charade his entire life.
 
 

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Posted: 27 June 2013 at 1:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by goolab

THANKS You are welcome. I NO AFTER RAJ WILL NO IS DIVYA PLAN WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO DIVYA HOW SHE WILL FACE RAJ Thats a good question that how will Divya face Raj once he gets to know what she has been doing to him. Maybe then he will stop idolizing her. Another question for me is how will Divya face herself if something happens either to Raj or to Sarita as a consequence of this plan of Divya's.  
TODAY RAJ MUM IS SO FUNNY SHE KEEP ASKING DIVYA TO EAT KEER The lady enacting the role of Raj's mum is a very good actress and she also has very good comic timing...
SARITA IS TO MUCH NOW SHE DONT NO RAJ IS ONLY WORRY FOR HER NO LOVE ONLY HE LOVE DIVYA well Sarita is in a world of her own and this is what she has been wanting for the past 10 years...
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Posted: 27 June 2013 at 1:16am | IP Logged
Misti angie,ruchi and others,really nice analysis...i cant undrstand sarita...will not waste time on her...to show care for sme one now we have to make special arrangements...kamu is great in all scenes...,sheilaa and dadi annoying as usual...raj and divya,thinks that they are only masters of each other s lifeLOL

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Posted: 27 June 2013 at 4:45am | IP Logged
Nice thoughts girls..agree with ur views abt all the characters...i am finding it very difficult to watch sarita's ignorance to whats happening around her...my mind knt register how can she "love" a man who treated her like nothing...and now flying over the clouds when he is manipulated by divya to give her a lil attention...i am finding her very unrealistic...ok she had dreams abt her husband but wonder how that his angry attitude and sleeping on the foor didnt rang any wrong bell in her head..
Divya...what to say...shes pouring salt on her own wounds...hope so too she gets out of there before raj will hate her for what shes doing to him...

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Posted: 27 June 2013 at 6:36am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Angie12

Misti,  you have written exactly what I thought after watchng the show.  Sarita is coming to me as a pretty screwed up character. That she is. They finally showed what has been coming across in last few days.  She is tolerating abuse because she wants to be near Raj. oYes Raj who is her husband. I don't think she thinks about Raj the human being. She can easily intimidate and shut Kamla up if she wants to.  She did it previously by threatening abut her parents and today she did it using police.  Yes when they showed the previous incident I was confused that if she can threaten Kamla using her parents name then does that not mean that she does not have anywhere else to goor that her parents will not support her. Then why is she staying in this abusive environment. Its good that they finally cleared it today. There are many girls who do live in an abusive environment because they think that they are in 'love" with their partners and that the partners will one day change. Some are even aware of their abused status but cannot break out form the control that such relationships have on them.But since Sarita always listen to anything that keeps her connected to this abusive world it seems that she wants this world.   Kamla is small time bully who are aggressive when they one to be weak but back down if somebody stands up to them.  Normally, I would cheer Sarita type behavior.  But here she was not coming in good light to me.  I know there are girls who tolerate abuse despite having other options because of their "love" or neediness for some guy.  But still my sympathy is more for girls who have no other choice.  Here Sarita had a choice and she is choosing this life of abuse because of her objective staying close to Raj.  Her words that she would only leave the house if Raj tells her to do so did not seem like "self respect" at all.  Neither does her underhanded methods of getting Raj by using Divya in making her feel so guilty is "self respect".  My sympathy towards Sarita has gone not because she has chosen to live in this abused world but because of the complete lack of empathy in her and that she thinks that she can use anybody to get what she wants. I think she has gone far into this delusional world for her to have the mental lucidity to objectively think and choose.It is like when someone is addicted to something...the person knows that it might harm him or her but the person is always drawn to it and cannot step back.

Dadi sounded a hypocrite when she was appreciating Sarita when she herself is an abusive person.  10 years ago they showed a rather helpless Kamla who was pleading with Sohan Lal while Dadi was quitely watching her son abusing and threatening to slap her daugther-in-law.  I was thinking the same thing that Sarita can send Kamla to jail and Kamla can send Sohu and Dadi to jail. She is a complete hypocrit.If she was so worried about Sarita then why didn't she stop all this from happening. She is the eldest in the family and could have stopped it but she kept quiet. Whats the use of making faces and shaking one's head when the abuse is happening but not actively doing anything to stop it. She only speaks up when Sarita strongly puts herfeet down. It is as if she does not want attention to be drawn to herself. Does she think that Sohanlal will throw her out of the house if she rocks his world? Wonder who will kill whom if all three have to share jail - Dadi, Kamla and Sohu. LOL Interesting question Angie and I will prefer to watch that scene than scenes of Sarita. Kamla and Sohan are very entertaining when they get together. Yesterday I was smiling throughout their tangential conversation in the car and aso in their room. Both know each other well and both usually end up winding each other. Both the actors are excellent and have perfect commic timing.

Shiela the feather brain was another one who was coming across as a hypocrite.  Why does she want to emulate Sarita?  Is tolerating abuse for one's "love" something that needs to be emulated?  Tell me about it...this is so weird. She has empathy for Sarita, but none for her mother.  I don't get daughters like that who can taunt their mother for something they have no control over - the father bringing another woman or one who can empathize with a grandmother who abuses the mother.  That's why her character is irritating to me. I also cannot understand that why does she not have any understanding regarding her mother...if Sarita is being abused by her mother then her mother has been abused by her father and her grand-mother.

Divya again had a nice escape from this lunatic family. Yes she had. Don't know what would have happened to her if she had to deal with this for 10 years. Although by nature Divya is very different to Savita...she is more calm, gentle and usually treats an unpleasant situation with humour but one never know how an abusive situation can make one person react. Would Raj have reacted if they had abused Divya?  The way he was in the car ignoring Kamla's derogative words to Sarita makes me think that it is pretty routine for him to hear this kind of abuse.  Probably, he has heard it all his life with Dadi/father abusing Kamla and doesn't think too much of it even though he has now stood up for Sarita.I think Raj thinks it is normal behaviour. I don't know whether he would have reacted if Divya was facing this. It will be interesting to see that if everything falls apart and everyone starts blaming Divya whether he will then protect Divya. He will have evry right to be angry with Divya but will he put it aside.  Divya is the one who cringes at this uncouth behavior but probably can deal with Kamla better as her style is different from Sarita.  Of course Kamla has a soft corner for Divya.  Yet Divya too humors her unlike Sarita who shows her disdain openly. Divya is different to Savita...Divya has a good sense of humour and that is sometimes needed to diffuse a potentially volatile situation. Not that I am excusing Kamla's behavior but Kamla and Sarita do react to each other a lot.  Kamla is also abusive to her own daughters as empty headed as they are.  But she reacts pretty strongly to Sarita's personality.  

I was not feeling too sympathetic towards Divya today because as torn up as she is, she is manipulating another person rather badly.  Sometimes these too sacrificing people end up sacrificing a close one to fulfill their objectives.  That's why my sympathy for "too sacrificing" people become limited because they tend to mess up people's lives in their quest for a "noble" goal.  I know that Divya has been doing it out of guilt.  But still this is very wrong. Yes this is wrong..it is always wrong to play with anyone's emotions..specially of someone who blindly trusts you.  I understand where she iscoming from...that since Raj has married Sarita and since for Sarita this marriage,(however hollow) is everything then despite everything it is Raj's responsibitly to move on with Sarita. But she should have done all this in a much open way ...Also she is projeting her own feelings on Raj.  She is repeating the mistake again and again....As you said, people may behaves same even though the reasons may be different.  His fumbling came across as awkwardness and feeling guilty to me.  Also Raj was hoping that SArita and his family do not mistake his gestures as "developing" love.  That is more realistic for me to believe than the notion that Raj had developed feelings for Sarita in 10 years and was just unaware about them.  A person who develops feelings for the other person doesn't behave the way Raj behaved.  Yes thats what I think too  I think Sarita and Divya are going to crash to earth when they realize that they mistook Raj's concern as love.  Divya I believe would be devastated and Sarita would be shattered too.  But she probably will again blame Divya for this. Divya should definitely run for the hills..... I too found Sarita's observvation that she wanted to sleep because she was dreaming about Raj the way she wants him to be with her.  So she doesn't want to wake up from delusions because it is quite comforting to live like that for her.  Probably she has got used to it in 10 years.  Wonder what will cause her to come out of it.  Right now, she is oblivious to everything around her.Actually I don't know whether she will believe Raj when and if he tells her that he does not love her.

Kamu and Sohu are in their own world where they are not realizing that their plans always backfire.  Now now don't be mean Angie...they are very cute when they are cootchi cooing or having telepathic converstaionsDay Dreaming. They should definitly get the Zee rishtey award for the best pair.Embarrassed Wasn't Sohu's grand plan to marry Raj to a rich girl and Kamul was expecting that RAj would fall for Sarita once they have a son.  That did not work out at all.  Now they are involved in other plans that are backfiring big time.  Kamu is her own worst enemy.  If she had just given pakoras and kheer to Divya without going overboard with her taunts to Sarita, her plan would have worked.  But she become too zealous in her quest to imnpress Sohu.Sohu had perfect expression during ths time.Embarrassed  Of course they are living in their delusional world where they are unaware of their son's nature.  if Divya gets drugged, Raj would never take advantage of her becaue that would be rape.  In any case, their plan did not work out because Sarita as usual reacted when too much attention was showered on Divya.  Again if she reacts to such small stuff despite knowing Kamu's nature and knowing very well that Divya is not seeking it, then what will be her reaction when Divya's plans fail and Raj informs her that he would always love Divya.  Divya can come to London if she wants to...I mean till things cool down in Bhopal.Embarrassed Wink

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