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SWARON OS:the mirror (Page 4)

8JSmileyFace8J Senior Member
8JSmileyFace8J
8JSmileyFace8J

Joined: 10 February 2013
Posts: 709

Posted: 28 June 2013 at 3:13pm | IP Logged
Sorry for the late reply!!!
This was an amazing Os!!!
and you wrote it beautifully!!
if this is how you write with writers block you probabely write amazingly wth out it!!!!
seriosuly it was like a whole journey through their lives!!
and i could imagine each bit of it in my head!!
i think you did a great job!!
and i also liked how you added that last piece of POV from their daughter!!
it was like the cherry on top!!!
Awesome piece of work!!!

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TojoursPur

surprising IF-Dazzler
surprising
surprising

Joined: 06 November 2012
Posts: 3755

Posted: 28 June 2013 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
darun hoe6e bhai Embarrassed
amai abr ki bolis...tui to jewel reShockedHug

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TojoursPur

sweetdivya IF-Rockerz
sweetdivya
sweetdivya

Joined: 28 July 2012
Posts: 7440

Posted: 29 June 2013 at 1:31am | IP Logged
awesome dear... Smile
usually i dont like sad endings..but u hav really written it so wel...just loved it... Smile
loved d way you hav describe d emotions... Smile

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TojoursPur

shan16 Senior Member
shan16
shan16

Joined: 21 December 2012
Posts: 420

Posted: 29 June 2013 at 2:08am | IP Logged
it was really heart wrenching...the words directly touch to ma heart...
 
really love the use of "mirror" in ur concept... 
 
ma Fav lines in the OS were below  
 
So many memories. So many reflections. So many shadows. Images of us. Swayam and me.

Our love---our life----our togetherness.

That grandfather clock he bought for me on our first anniversary...the vase which i kept reserved for the roses he surprised me with...the almirah with his clothes in it...oh everywhere----the very walls bear testimony to the life we lived.thge very floors still throb with his treads. Swaym's boyish laughter, his thousand naughtinesses, his sudden hugs from behind, cuddling me...the sighing nights of unbounded love,the way he twirled me in his arms when he had some good news or the other, my teasing him...his pouts...his seducing me, his compliments, my blushes our married life.our love..his mine and savera's trophies...my smile his smile, my sadness,his misery...my life his life----his death-my death.

This mirror which ones reflected a couple which had been adored by the audience for their amazing couple performances...by and by started showing our wizened faces as well...and our slowing down with age. But the love was the same.

And i wheeled him in his wheelchair----in this rehearsal hall and that mirror saw us again---an old old couple----dancing...well wheezing really, but----the love was the same.

Yeah his heart failed him---but it was of gold and know it always was mine. And it had never failed me.

----"sharon, swaym shekhawat loved you from the moment he set his eyes on you'and promised you a forever...and forever does not end.

My dad and mom----swayam shekhawat---and Sharon raiprakash shekhawat lived, loved and died a fairytale.

Reading the last few lines of their daughter sent shiver through my spine...really i got the goose bumps you know...

you r really a fantastic wirter
 
brillant work...first thing i did after reading this OS ...is sent u a buddy request..plz add me ...n PM me ur beatiful works...
 
thnks deep for introducing  to me an amazing writer on the IF.

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TojoursPur_Deepika_

shan16 Senior Member
shan16
shan16

Joined: 21 December 2012
Posts: 420

Posted: 29 June 2013 at 2:12am | IP Logged
Originally posted by medhasarkar

judging by the responses to this one i think i should actually stop trying to convince myself that i can write anything worth writing actually.
my buddies responded gracefully...but 326 views and 16 or so comments-----i have to say i'm sorry that i bore people so muchThumbs Down
i totally disagree to it...just now i thnked deepika for sharing the link...  i read ur OS ..an its amazing ...plz pm me ur wrk...

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trisha19

_Deepika_ IF-Sizzlerz
_Deepika_
_Deepika_

Joined: 01 August 2012
Posts: 13245

Posted: 29 June 2013 at 3:20am | IP Logged
Originally posted by medhasarkar

judging by the responses to this one i think i should actually stop trying to convince myself that i can write anything worth writing actually.
my buddies responded gracefully...but 326 views and 16 or so comments-----i have to say i'm sorry that i bore people so muchThumbs Down


medha plz dont judge ur write ups with the comments ...plz ...if u value my opinion never say that

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TojoursPur

Anonymous-- IF-Dazzler
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Anonymous--

Joined: 27 June 2012
Posts: 3462

Posted: 29 June 2013 at 3:24am | IP Logged
Lovely OSSmile Beautifully written! I loved the concept a lotBig smile

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TojoursPur

_Deepika_ IF-Sizzlerz
_Deepika_
_Deepika_

Joined: 01 August 2012
Posts: 13245

Posted: 29 June 2013 at 4:15am | IP Logged
edited..pg-1

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