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Stigma against divorcees - Is it justified? (Page 4)

uniquebluerose IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 10:07am | IP Logged
Divorce is sensitive issue in India...even abroad i guess people need to know the reason...



Edited by uniquebluerose - 08 July 2013 at 10:40am

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samvi.

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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 10:36am | IP Logged
yes many couples are happy after second marriage..i am not against divorcee but being a educated girl i would prefer to marry unmarried man...but if someone marry to person like anandi i dont have any problem
but  when comes to jagatAngryAngry...

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lovesunshine

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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 11:00am | IP Logged
it wud depend on the reason for the divorce..if its incompatibility, why hold it against the couple in the first place..i appreciate the honesty is divorce and making a clean slate rather than pushing an incompatible marriage, or worse, cheating on ur spouse citing " incompatibility" vis-a-vis jagya.. everyone deserves a second chance, if they deserve it..

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Misseshasamvi.surabhi01tiny15

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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 11:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by lovesunshine

I want to share a story from one of my husbands relatives. this boy was working out of India. He came back for holidays and as per parents wishes started looking for arranged marriage matches for himself. He liked a simple Indian girl and because he wanted to take her away with her to his country of residence they quickly went for registry marriage. then he went off to his country.

the realtionship was going good, both side parents and families were very happy...suddenly in our local community magazine my Mother in law found an 'looking for bride' add with this guy's photo !

after further inquiries we found out that the boy's parents were not happy with the girl anymore and asked him divorce/breakoff! the reason given by the boy's mother /father to us was they had to take the girl for one family function (pooja) and they asked her to wear a saree for the ocassion and she denied because she said she is uncomfortable in a saree. and then they started disliking her!

Then they got him married second time again arranged marriage and he gave up his job and settled in India,this girl was an MBA and was working on a very high position in a company, the father of the boy asked her to come home early to cook even though he knew she had work related commitments and due to her position in the company has to attend them. Then the in laws denied her to watch tv and asked her  only to do bhajans of god instead..for an educated lady it started getting highly intolerable.


So the couple started staying separately. even then they had issues ..the boy was earning quite a decnet salary himself. The girl had only her father in her maayka and wanted to give her entire salary to her father to which the boy opposed. then they both divorced...

Now this boy has met someone new   via online chatting and has recently married this girl - third time!


 I hope everything falls in place for him this time and they live happily ever afterWink

i think this is because of their so nosy and naggy parents...seriously what i don't get in india is when you have trusted your child to be mature enough to get married then why not trust him/her to take his/her own life decisions...30 saal ke baad bhi haye mera baccha thing looks irritating to me

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lovesunshine

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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 1:25pm | IP Logged

 t

Originally posted by Skepblun

I've witnessed it in real life and also seen many discussions on it online.


Is it fair to have suspicions and stigma against a male or female who's been divorced?

What if people don't get along or marriage doesn't work out for some reason? Don't they have right to move on?
And if the law itself gives them full right to nullify their marriage and move on, then why does society still stigmatise divorcees?

(Same for widows and widowers. If law gives them right to remarry then why society has to bark? What's one's fault if their spouse has expired?)

Is it fair to doubt a person's character if he or she had a failed marriage?

Many couples find happiness in second marriage. They are happy but society or family still barks about them and reminds them of their previously failed relationship.
There are accusations of lack of mental stability, bad fortune or lack of sense, bad character etc. and accusations of trapping some new spouse or marrying out of desperation (likes of Shiv get taunts "ismein koi kami thi kya jo aisi ladki se shaadi kar li"/ or are thought to be fooled and seduced by a divorcee).

Is it fair? Is it justified?

Do you in real life, get repulsed by divorcee tag? Would you reject someone if you knew he or she was a divorcee? Would you feel a sense of "shame" if you or your family member got a divorce?

I'd request members to share their POV on divorce and divorcees and sense of "shame"/"honour" associated with it, here.

I dont know about how divorcees feel or how they are treated by the society ..

But such topics should certainly not be discussed on this forum. This is not the place to discuss it, there may be few divorcess amongst the members who might feel offended.

You must stick to the discussion on BV only.


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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 2:02pm | IP Logged
@Shinya

I wanted members to share their POV on this issue. Issues have been discussed on the forum earlier and many times people share their real life experiences also while posting their arguments.

It is people's choice whether they want to share their personal experience or not.

I am discussing an issue that's frequently raised in this serial also.

It is not intended to hurt anyone. Those who don't want to discuss this can keep out of it.

And please do not dictate me what I should do or not do. Acting as self appointed moderator is against forum rules isn't it?

If mods and DT have problem they can close this thread and I will welcome their decision.

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Jan50LizBennetaparnauma

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Posted: 26 June 2013 at 2:27pm | IP Logged
It is very good post. India is still new to divorce. Now the whole concept of marriage is changing.
Wevare becoming more modern( westernized) . Women are also getting educated and earning. They dont want to be told what to do by in laws. It is not like those days where marriage for a girl was 
For financial reason and for boys, to produce a progeny. In other words a girl was just a 
Walking talking working slaving womb for the boy's parents. Ds is the typical example.
It will be wise for parent and inlaws to stay away from couples. Let them live their own lives.
Children should not be considered as insurance against old age. 
There will be more divorces in future and India will get used to it. There will be a stigma. It is like
When you change jobs the employer wants to know why you changed. It is upto the person to
Convince that he can still be a good partner.

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