I think its more in the case of arranged marriages that there is a hesitation to get your children married with someone who has already had a broken marriage. Like someone here said, its mainly a fear of the unknown. You won't know what to expect in a relation like that. And even then we may come across blame-games with each party holding the other responsible. So we won't even know who to believe. So in such situations it is always a wise idea to do your research very well about the boy/girl or their family beforehand. I guess that's what they are trying to show here with Alok asking Khazan his opinion about Jagya.
But what I cannot stand is Divorced/widowed guys and families looking for unmarried girls for remarriage! They must be open-minded about accepting others in their same position when it comes to a new marriage. They probably might bring up that issue with Sumi having hopes of Saanchi as a prospective bride for Jagya.
(The above paragraphs were quoted from zephyr29 but I think I messed up the quoting thing. Sorry!)
You hit it on the spot zephyr with the last paragraph. Not sure if you remember, when Sumitra was looking to get Jagya remarried, there was a scene where the matchmaker had said she is looking at divorcee women and Sumitra said "why divorcee?" She specified she would prefer an umarried girl.
From personal experience as being a divorcee, there are many reasons that I've encountered the stigma.
1. Until recently, Hindu society didn't believe in divorce - so much so that we borrow the Urdu word Talak instead of having a term in the Hindu vocabulary. Marriage is supposed to be a 7 Janam thing, if we get divorced, that goes against our religion and the vows we make at the time of marriage making the 7 rounds with Agni Dev as witness.
2. Society doesn't understand it, therefore fears it. This is where a lot of the stigma begins. When my parents were trying to convince me to get remarried, all our relatives would show my parents these elderly men (40+) or have been divorced because they thought I've had my chance at marriage, now it's all about compromise. I was married for 3 years and had a very abusive marriage. I finally decided to walk out and get a divorce when he'd beaten me so badly I couldn't walk and he kicked me out of the house in the middle of the night. Society doesn't want to know or understand these details and bec they can't understand, they think I'm the bad one for not making my marriage work.
3. Personally, I feel that if you want to get involved with a person who's divorced, before you do, find out the reason for their divorce and make sure you and your immediate family is ok with it. Society can say all they want, but from experience, I can count on one hand the number of ppl who came to my defense when I was battered and broken and needed help. If the divorce was caused bec they couldn't commit or a reason that doesn't make sense to you - maybe you should rethink the whole situation. But I think above all, you should definitely understand all the reasonings and POV before castin an opinion.
Edited by SapnaRP - 10 years ago
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