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Fragrant Whispers - ArHi OS (Page 7)

-doe-eyes- Goldie

Joined: 25 October 2011
Posts: 1228

Posted: 26 June 2013 at 10:00pm | IP Logged
This has to be one of the most heartbreaking love stories I've ever read and you know what? It has the makings of a classic. It poses a lot of questions in my mind, such as which is worse - unrequited love, or lovers doomed to live apart. Can they be happy? Would they be happier together? Do they deserve this? It's a story that keeps the mind ticking and lingering on these questions and perhaps the beauty of it all is that we'll never know, but can't help wondering about.

It's unpleasant reality, unfortunately, that all love stories don't work out. And you've moulded this bitter truth into such a poignant tale that even if I try to accuse Arnav it comes out halfhearted. The switching timeline has to be one of the most effective I've seen and from the very beginning you've got the reader walking down the path you want them to - Khushi is here, she's happy to see Arnav's mother (a detail we don't know yet) and yet there's a lingering sadness beneath that puts one on their guard and read the next lines with even more attention and appreciation.

And the flashbacks. khushi's pain was a living thing, and because it was so palpable, there was this terrible dread even as I read them. The moments they shared were so very romantic, and the thought of Khushi crushing on her best friend's older brother almost as far back as early teenage-hood, everything adds to the old-world romance so profoundly fitting in the Bengal culture you brought to life vividly. On an aside, the setting was very effectively done and so subtly and skillfully. A few accented Bengali lines, a mention of antique furniture or tidbits, like the clock in Arnav's room - and I could see everything. The sarees Khushi and Anjali wore, the crowds, the noise, the sights, everything.

The flowers and the sarees, his teasing, everything was sigh-inducing, blush inducing and sooo romantic. Any girl's fantasy come true. But from the beginning we know that that fantasy didn't come true, or something went wrong, and that sort ripens the emotional density, if you know what I mean. And the contrast it paints, between what could have been and what is, what was lost...the pain is a knife in the heart, the type that always makes me cry. Always.

And oh, the way she is drawn to him. How she knows. How she can't stop herself - her heart pulls her to him before her mind can catch up. It was a trance, and so lyrically written, there was a mounting anticipation with each step she took.

I really think it's a stroke of brilliance how you chose to bring their tale full-circle. You never revealed too much, nor too little, just enough to entice us further into the story, and when we get into the heart of it, I don't know who I support anymore. Arnav's hesitation, despite all his romantic gestures, were a blow to me, so I can only wonder what Khushi went through and it's so painful to think of how betrayed she must have felt, even after begging him...and the confession. There's bitter irony in it - the words a girl waits years and years to hear, and they finally come, but too late. And I can't help but look back at all those memories and wonder, just as Khushi might have wondered, whether they meant anything at all, and it makes their sweetness just as bitter. I really do love irony.

The flower symbolism is one of the most profound I've ever read, ever. That moment stole the tale for me - and redeemed Arnav a little. He came out as so selfish before, almost as though he'd fed Khushi false dreams and in the end feared consequences too much to go through with it. Wishing her to heal, wishing her a happy married life...he's letting her go, releasing the hold that would never have let her move on, and that proves more than anything else that he loves her. And that all love stories don't end with a 'happily ever after'. Tragic and beautiful. Sigh. *wipes away tears*

I'm sorry I'm late btw - my tab was with my sister, and I was too depressed to try logging on from the laptop yesterday :s And thank you so much for posting this uh-maz-ing one-shot!

Edited by -doe-eyes- - 26 June 2013 at 10:10pm

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-FriedriceJi- IF-Rockerz

Joined: 22 April 2012
Posts: 6384

Posted: 26 June 2013 at 10:22pm | IP Logged

But written so beautifully!!
Reading your work for the first time.. and need I say that YOU ARE AMAING...!!!!

Loved it.. the bengali words and the significance of Marigold and Peony..
never thought of the same in that way..!! Beautiful!!

He confessed his heart out.. but was terribly late I guess!

And she's married to someone else..! Unhappy

Well the ending was just beautiful..
It was a good read ji!

Thank You!


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-doe-eyes- Goldie

Joined: 25 October 2011
Posts: 1228

Posted: 26 June 2013 at 10:23pm | IP Logged
Aaand also have to add this - his promise to gift her a flower whenever she wears a saree. It's such a romantic notion, yet in light of everything else might seem insignificant or flippant. But right to the end he fulfils his promise, no matter how small, and found her the perfect makes me soften towards him, even though I could never wholeheartedly forgive him for ruining them both in the beginning. It's bittersweet and absolutely poetic, I think.

Edited by -doe-eyes- - 26 June 2013 at 10:24pm

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-HEAVEN- IF-Rockerz

Joined: 06 December 2012
Posts: 7060

Posted: 26 June 2013 at 11:02pm | IP Logged
Sob sob...sad but awsome os!

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avika_ShArMa Senior Member

Joined: 14 September 2012
Posts: 708

Posted: 26 June 2013 at 11:23pm | IP Logged
hey! beautiful os...though it was heartbreaking :(
i wish arnav had said those three magical words before then khushi could have been his...whats the point in confessing his love now when she's will just  open the wounds rather than healing them. yes, arnav is self centered and khushi, you well said. i hope she stays happy always...
well, khushi being married came as a bomb at the end when i thought of a happy ending Embarrassed
anyways, loved it! Smile

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preethi28 Goldie

Joined: 24 April 2012
Posts: 1002

Posted: 27 June 2013 at 2:16am | IP Logged
A heartbreaking story filled with beautiful and poignant memories and moments.
It was bittersweet and I loved how the two flowers symbolised two new beginnings.

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PixieFlame Goldie

Joined: 01 December 2011
Posts: 2446

Posted: 27 June 2013 at 8:00am | IP Logged
Beautiful Os! :)

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jojo21 Senior Member

Joined: 09 December 2012
Posts: 372

Posted: 27 June 2013 at 9:43am | IP Logged
I'm not sure i can articulate what I thought about this so ill keep it basic. It was really really good and I was lost in the story and the scenes you had created. It was beautiful and heartbreaking.

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