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Do Dil Ek Jaan
Do Dil Ek Jaan

Need to build up momentum in story

looser01 Goldie
looser01
looser01

Joined: 01 May 2006
Posts: 1372

Posted: 25 June 2013 at 11:23am | IP Logged
You have a young fresh pair/its a love story/ main point is Kashmir and the love birds
 
Instead of cramming the third angle with a vamp( heard new vamp is being introduced who will love raghu) and running here and there build up the young couple first that urgency that element of stolen love agaist all odds and Kashmir can take you very high up but muddling through the story going the vamp way and ignoring  kashmir back ground you are just churning  out a soap think out of box story needs to be fast paced direction has to be crisp love birds need to occupy more time work on expressions.
too much rona dhoa  and cut down on too much mamaji becomes a bore rest is in your hands
 
you killed off farook too early should have shown couple in love and how farook gets killed and raghu is blamed as he is part of gang and how they run togather..


Edited by looser01 - 25 June 2013 at 11:24am

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Roses_ZaYa.Comics_Music.--Royal--

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Posted: 25 June 2013 at 11:33am | IP Logged
I think I can understand what ur trying to say here, & I agree ki sometimes scenes ko kuch zyada he lamba taan dete hai, which becomes quite boring & is constantly testing our patience! Ermm

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punnubabylooser01

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Posted: 25 June 2013 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Ritu_MusicTanHa

I think I can understand what ur trying to say here, & I agree ki sometimes scenes ko kuch zyada he lamba taan dete hai, which becomes quite boring & is constantly testing our patience! Ermm


Agree...even i m very frusted in antara mom and mamaji scene Dead

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punnubaby

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