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SwaRon FF: Smithereens | the final chapter: PG 68 | 10 Nov'14 (Page 9)

pehlanasha. IF-Rockerz

Joined: 02 October 2012
Posts: 7911

Posted: 29 June 2013 at 11:28am | IP Logged

Holy mother of God! Shocked You are writing a FF? Like a whole, long fan fiction? Nah, right? Stern Smile

Well, it is rather very shocking, almost  not digest to me for the fact! I perhaps can try though. Embarrassed

Well, if you are writing a FF then i am very glad, closely here, jumping like a 5 yr old! ROFL

I still haven't read the chapter but i already have liked the post of chapters so i better read them tomorrow on 1st of July, sure thing after my paper. 

Well, believe it or not but Living the dreams was and will always be 'the' best written FF i have seen in D3 forum, no match for that. I myself have read it throughout for 4 times! Shocked YES! 

I do love to read this fan fiction written by you, it will be super amazing and besides that i love your writing, so yeah i am following it like anything. Approve

One thing i do rather want you to obey as soon as possible! Embarrassed Come on, girl, get a nice banner for this FF, because a FF without a banner sucks! ROFL SO you better make it or ask someone, please? Ermm

PS: I will soon comment on chapter 1 and 2, and afterwards i will comment regularly but please don't stop writing. If it is possible then i do want you to reserve for me, in every single update you post! Pretty, please? Stern Smile


Edited by -Marium- - 30 June 2013 at 3:15pm

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anushka1129 Senior Member

Joined: 12 May 2013
Posts: 694

Posted: 29 June 2013 at 11:51pm | IP Logged
read two chapters in one go..
i loved your writing style..
this is my first ever comment on your work as am new reader:)
i 'll try my best to comment on further update as well :)
now back to chapters
i loved how you describe swayam condition he neither want to lead normal life nor want to cry over her dead wife..
sharon here different..loved how she try to cheer swayam..
really want to read more..
intersting plot..
update soon..
n pm me :)

PS: @thanks alot deep_tahna for pm of this amazing ff :)

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VickyLover Newbie

Joined: 13 May 2013
Posts: 41

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 12:09am | IP Logged
both the chapters were amazing...i really like your writing style and yeah the concept is very diff as swayam is in love with someone else and sharon too is nt in love with him as of nw so the journey of them fallin in love is somethng tht i am really lookin forward to...
plzzz continue this FF and pm me if possible ...
btw i had read Living a Dream and thats how i got addicted to india forums so i think i wl love this ff as well since its an inspiration from my favourite FF...

awesome chapters,story line and writing style..plzz continue and do send me PM...
eagerly waiting fr the next update Clap

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thegameison IF-Sizzlerz

Jedi of CC
Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 22520

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 9:07am | IP Logged

Author's Note

There's enough evidence available in favor of the notion that I can be a very frustrated teenager. Hence, I'm pretty happy to see a few of you empathize with my disappointment. You've been encouraging too, people. I'm quite happy. More to the fact that I had no idea whatsoever that Deepika would in fact be PMing anybody about the story. I'm touched, I told her. And to you all, I say thank you. Hug

Now, regarding the story, 'Darkandtwisty' is simply the user name of my alternate account that I'd be using for PMs. WHICH IS NOT EVEN WORKING. Stern Smile It has nothing to do with the theme of this fiction. It's neither dark nor twisty. Also, I have a question to ask. I'm down nine chapters now, I might write the tenth installment tonight or tomorrow. So, would you like daily updates because I have my chapters ready or do I update at my own leisure? Embarrassed

 Chapter Two if you haven't read. Smile

And thank you so very much, Deepika and everyone, once again. Hug I'd try to do individual replies starting this time. Approve

PS I'm extremely sorry for the double PMs some of you may have received.


Chapter Three

"There's nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons."  - Stephen Chbosky, the Perks of Being a Wallflower


There was overwhelming evidence to the contrary but Sharon did not come. Swayum spent the early hours of the night rummaging through classifieds. He'd been to the market all noon and evening, paying bills, subscribing to cable, newspapers and magazines. Setting up a new household without help was time-consuming, it wore him out too. The last time he had any setting up to do it was a shared business. He had not procured anything for himself alone in a long time. Starting from scratch was the obvious place with which to begin but it was excruciating, challenging.

Gradually he began to invest all his faculties into searching for a job, making phone calls whenever he thought it opportune. But when it was ten already he decided to resume from there next morning. He ransacked the fridge but found nothing. He could cook but why to cook in the first place was beyond him. All he had to do was view a mattress; his mind would have prompted him to throw himself on it automatically.

Sharon's '67 Chevy Camaro could be heard being honked hard at some vertical distance. Swayum didn't know whether to sigh in exasperation or in relief. He decided not to sigh at all. He trudged down and when she could be seen he thought she looked rather impatient. "Swayum, I'm sorry." she yelled.

"No need to shout, I have got neighbours." he warned her and gestured her to get out of the car.

"I wasn't blowing the horn to get you here to escort me up. You have to come with me, Swayum." her lip curled waywardly.

"I don't see why, Sharon." he grumbled.

"Do as I say. Go lock your house, get the keys. And if I were you, I'd wear a jacket." she ordered and commented in one breath.

"Are you sure?" he questioned her sensibility.

"Yes, and I haven't much time. I am flying to Vancouver tomorrow morning, RUN!" she beat the steering wheel aggressively, looking wild with excitement.

Swayum did as he was ordered. As he descended the stairs this time he was clad in a grey shirt and a dull black unzipped jacket. She gave him a nod of approval and pulled out of the building's drive. First thing, she apologized for not bringing any Chinese. After that, Swayum noted that she liked spending more time with her vehicle than its passengers. She encouraged it to start if it stopped and rolled it to a halt twice on their journey claiming it was 'tired'. Swayum was a quarter amused but three-quarters of his insides were still ghastly with insurmountable grief.

"I'm sorry, I enjoy driving too much. I have been told on many occasions that my passionate disposition about cars and particularly this one is unhealthy." she chortled and speeded up. Swayum felt an urge to smile at this but it was overcome in half a second by his confusion as to where she was taking him.

"Where are we going, Sharon?" he asked her, nonplussed.

"There's a clearing in the woods. The view at dawn from there is to die for." she exclaimed.

She looked delightful and Swayum, past the point of wanting to argue with her. The woods were at the outskirts of the city. It was going to take five hours at least, even with Sharon's driving. "I'm going to take a nap, wake me up when we reach the wilderness."

"The wilderness," Sharon chanted merrily.

It was twenty minutes to four in the morning when Sharon had awoken Swayum by shaking him frantically by the shoulders. "Slow down, Sharon." he sleepily jerked her off him and checked his wristwatch.

"It's been a while since I came here. I don't want to miss it." she earnestly said, she was out of the car already.

"It won't dawn before five." Swayum pointed out, locking his side of the car.

"We have to hike our way to the clearing." she said.

"Of course," Swayum muttered.

"When you see it, you'll thank me. You'll see." Sharon said matter-of-factly. She wasn't being funny.

Swayum nodded. 

They had been hiking headfast into the woods for forty minutes. Gradually the green cover began to thin and the sky, to lighten. Sharon urged him forward from time to time. For, he was lagging behind. But the woman's goodwill seemed to act on him at long last. Although he wasn't smiling, let alone laughing, her recollections from college were radiating positivity all around the two of them. She was smart enough not to mention Rhea.

"Did you know?" she began after a five minute pause. "I had caught a couple fooling around in the rehearsal hall one morning. They were singing a rather corrupt version of a nursery rhyme to egg each other on." At that point she started guffawing and held on Swayum's jacket for support. She was half sitting by then.

"I suppose you'd like me to recite the rhyme for you?" she managed through her echoing laughter.

"I'd like to see you try." Swayum was laughing maniacally now.

"Johnny, Johnny," she'd come thus far, trying to imitate the shrill voice of the girl but broke into an even louder spilt of laughter. "I'm sorry, I cannot recite it without thinking about it and when I think about," she couldn't speak any further.

Swayum was standing and she, sitting on her knees, clutching her stomach with both hands. He gave her his hand which she held and got up. They started walking and neither stopped laughing. They couldn't even remember the joke; there was something amusing about the face of their respective companion. Swayum's stomach had begun to hurt too now. Their hands on their respective aching stomachs, they nodded at each other when they found the clearing.

It had yellow flowers hanging from the trees and a kind of purple one growing wildly in every direction. The trees were thinner in here but thick enough to obscure a full view of the sun. Swayum wanted to ask Sharon why she thought a vaguely visible dawn like that would entice him. But he had no time. There was a certain sound that Swayum called was characteristic to the morning. He could hear it distinctly and it was beautiful. From where they were standing the sun seemed to be rising from the flowerbed at their feet. It was completely out of view for a few seconds, concealed behind a congregation of hefty tree trunks. Then a tint of red began to appear at the edges of the leaves in his sight, all of them. The red deepened until finally the sun was fully up. Now, the leaves shone like copper and the sky looked a delightful and lighter hue of lemon.

"This time of the day beautifies everything. You can smell the trees, the flowers and the soil. The breeze is magic when it lifts your hair like that." Sharon said, pointing at Swayum's tousled hair. The breeze was soft and it was caressing everything in its reach. The sky couldn't fully be seen. But Sharon had been right, Swayum was too thankless before. He could feel the skies. That was beyond anything he'd imagined.

"Thank you." he said.

"I told you!" she cheerfully said and yawned.

"Lemme drive our way back."

Sharon didn't let Swayum drive while she could. She had a flight to board at eleven that morning itself. They were inside the city by ten and were outside the airport in another fifteen minutes. Swayum was wide awake through their journey, watching Sharon's drooping eyelids cautiously. He saw she had her things packed and put away at the back of the car. It was a handbag and a very small silver suitcase. When she rolled her car to a stop in the Airport's parking lot, Swayum promptly jumped out and carried her things to the nearest trolley he could find. Sharon sadly parted with her car and slowly walked up to him, her eyes half closed.

"Thank you, I will roll this inside, then." she briefly hugged him and didn't wait for him to hug her back.

They had settled shortly before reaching the Airport that Swayum will take Sharon's car to her nightclub and park it there but he will keep the keys with himself. Their arrangements and understandings were odd to Swayum. But Sharon was at far too much ease for any room for discomfort remaining for either of them. She had started to tiredly push her trolley and body forward when Swayum started walking beside her.

"Why are you behaving like I'm your best friend in the whole world?" he asked her because he was curious.

"You're my only friend in this ruddy city. I keep moving, you see and finding an old friend is always icing on my cake. Except, I have only chanced to meet Simmi in London two years ago, and now you, here." she said, slightly alert now.

"That makes sense then." he said with finality, his curiosity was well fed now.

"Besides, Rhea was a beautiful woman married to an antisocial homeboy." Sharon added thoughtfully. Swayum smiled at that and side hugged her. Then, she entered the Airport and the automatic glass doors shut her away from him. He walked back to her '67 Chevy Camaro in what could qualify as a happy walk.






Edited by epiphany. - 30 June 2013 at 10:25am

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_Deepika_ IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 August 2012
Posts: 13245

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 9:32am | IP Logged
trisha19 Senior Member

Joined: 06 November 2012
Posts: 781

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 9:44am | IP Logged
Awesome update...Clap
the description of the dawn was so beautiful...just loved it..Smile
continue soon...

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ToujoursPur IF-Dazzler

Joined: 14 January 2012
Posts: 4201

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 10:13am | IP Logged
love it kanks---

the easy friendship---and the description of the view.

people can be lonely in more ways than one.

also that quote---thanks for including it.


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Myra. Goldie

Joined: 14 May 2012
Posts: 1764

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 10:31am | IP Logged
Let me tell you Kanks! you are brilliant and so is the chapter and I especially loved the way you showed Sharon excited to go to watch the dawn break and also the way you depicted infront an imaginary scape of a wonderful scene with dawn!

All I can say is you are amazing!

I think you should update everyday.. Its completely up to you though. I enjoy it the most if I read it everyday a chapter before bed!



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