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SwaRon FF: Smithereens | the final chapter: PG 68 | 10 Nov'14 (Page 56)

TojoursPur IF-Dazzler
TojoursPur
TojoursPur

Joined: 14 January 2012
Posts: 4191

Posted: 09 December 2013 at 10:55am | IP Logged

"So, you mean that he was the kind of kid who felt guilty for liking a coffee shake when he had already decided he liked mango best?" Sharon smilingly made an effort to confirm.


"Exactly," Rey nodded somberly. 


"You don't seem very happy about proposing to me after all." Sharon noticed.


"I don't. Because let's face it, Swayum does like coffee shake." 


brilliant kanks---just brilliantly expressed. you are a writer---thats all the praise i can give u.

Sharon did not leave. She attended to the nature's call and brushed her teeth with a spare (unused) toothbrush before heading to Swayum's room. He looked like someone broke all his toys and said sorry. What was worse was that he also looked like the same person had gifted him a room full of Barbie Dolls. 


"Somebody take your ice cream?" Sharon decided it was best not to mention Barbie Dolls and jumped into his bed over the covers. 


"I'm sorry I shouted." Swayum muttered, looking just as sorry as Sharon would be to get her car serviced or by finding new music from forty years ago she totally loved.


"No problem." Sharon announced. 


"What did you say to him?" Swayum asked, looking down at his bed, running his hands through his hair.


"I didn't have to accept or reject him. He took his proposal back, deciding to leave the basket case for his brother." Sharon laughed. 


"You're not a basket case, more like a nutcase." Swayum said to her in mock consolation, patting her arm now. 


"You're suddenly chirpier, Shikhawat." Sharon noticed. 


"I am." Swayum said flirtatiously and went pale with if Reyansh Shikhawat was to be believed, guilt. All of that Swayum managed in less than ten seconds. 

and this. funny---romantic in a humorous way---and so amazingly normal----there are no trappings in your writing kanks---it just says what is---and says it damn effectively.

exceptionally well written. i love reading you.
love---medha


Edited by medhasarkar - 09 December 2013 at 11:08am

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thegameison

Autumn_Hue IF-Rockerz
Autumn_Hue
Autumn_Hue

Joined: 14 March 2012
Posts: 7422

Posted: 14 December 2013 at 2:28am | IP Logged
Exceptionally awesome I loved this update kanks you write brilliantly..Thumbs Up.
Sharon is a complicated character but you have handled her brilliantly.. She has maturity in her but also handles situations with a hint of humor..
I liked the bond which she and Reyaansh share..
Also the conversation between her and Swayam was a treat to read..Smile.
I look forward to your next update plzzz do update soon..
Love,
Kashmi..Hug

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thegameison

nature2 IF-Stunnerz
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Posts: 25832

Posted: 15 December 2013 at 1:52am | IP Logged
loved iT

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thegameison

-Chaitra- Goldie
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Joined: 03 September 2012
Posts: 1042

Posted: 23 December 2013 at 9:23am | IP Logged
amazing update..
rey sharon are buddies now...Big smile
pls update fastDay Dreaming

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thegameison

-PyaariBhootni- IF-Addictz
-PyaariBhootni-
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Joined: 22 April 2012
Posts: 50415

Posted: 30 December 2013 at 1:46am | IP Logged
brilliant updateeeClap
m lovingg this story more and moreeeEmbarrassed
and d sharon-rey convo was too goodClapClap
waiting for d nxt partEmbarrassed
and unresd my prev comment on p-54Smile

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thegameison

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
Sawyer_Tom
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Joined: 22 March 2012
Posts: 3573

Posted: 10 January 2014 at 7:06am | IP Logged
I'm sorry but you're awesome. I was only going to read this and not comment on it in order to spite you but clearly things didn't go according to plan.

So here I am, being spiteful in person. The supreme humour and a taste of 80 different emotions more than makes up for the ridiculously tiny size of this chapter. I loved the analogies Sharon made. I loved the analogies Rey made and I just all out love Swayam. He's a bas***d, no doubt, but he can't help being one. The coffee shake analogy had me looking at you (figuratively) in childlike wonderment. It also makes me wonder at my own ignorance. But that ain't your problem.

You have a very fine, very developed sense of human character and you'd make a damn good shrink.

Also, I hate you for the size of this chapter. I hate you for not updating faster. But, overalll, I think I love you more than I hate you. Silly

Love,
En.


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thegameison

thegameison IF-Sizzlerz
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Posts: 22652

Posted: 10 January 2014 at 12:50pm | IP Logged
^^ You know how to please me, Sister. 

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Sawyer_Tom

blooming_angel Senior Member
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Posts: 714

Posted: 16 January 2014 at 6:07am | IP Logged
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