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SwaRon FF: Smithereens | the final chapter: PG 68 | 10 Nov'14 (Page 35)

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
Sawyer_Tom
Sawyer_Tom

Joined: 22 March 2012
Posts: 3573

Posted: 15 July 2013 at 7:17am | IP Logged
Chapter 6

Is it just me or are your chapters really getting smaller?

Anywho.

Um, first things first. I think I deserve a pat on the back for very shrewdly assuming that the character was indeed based on Luna Lovegood. Thank you very much. And when you mention it, she does seem kinda Dean Winchester-y too. The only likable thing from Supernatural, in my opinion.

That was one hell of an introduction. The oxymoronic nature of the label 'chaste s**t' is as absurd as it is generically true. Most s**ts are huge believers of chastity. But like everyone in this society they are subject to the judgmental and prejudiced nature of the people. But hey, who gives a fat rat's arse?

Definitely not Sharon. This is one of those characters that you remember for a long, long time. It was rather amusing to watch her converse with her father in such a light manner. Quite droll. And of course, violent douchebags are not that hard to find. They are more common than you think. Sharon is a badass. She cares enough to kick him in the shins but not enough to give two hoots about him. That's badass material, dude!

The diner scene was comely and cozy. I liked it more than I thought I would. Ahh, simple things. there is a certain fondness brewing between them. Delicate and unknown. It's a start.

Well on to the next one then.

Love,
En. 

  

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thegameison

sweetydiyafrien IF-Rockerz
sweetydiyafrien
sweetydiyafrien

Joined: 18 October 2012
Posts: 6836

Posted: 15 July 2013 at 8:42am | IP Logged
wow!!!!!!!!!!they both finally kiss and i hope they confess it also soon...
continue soon and pm me... and look forward to read it... loved the chapter

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thegameison

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
Sawyer_Tom
Sawyer_Tom

Joined: 22 March 2012
Posts: 3573

Posted: 15 July 2013 at 9:21am | IP Logged
Chapter 7

So.

Cousin Simmi is in town. There is to be a reunion. Well, well.

Simmi is, for most parts, quite Sharon-like. Her character is much too subtle though and I think that is how their friendship works. 

I'm glad as always that you didn't exaggerate the whole falling in love part. That's not your style anyways. It was curt yet meaningful. Completely Kanks. Sharon is sensible enough to not to ponder on it too much or act at all yet. As the saying goes, Time is not ripe yet. Or something like that. 

Three more to go, lil lady.

Love,
En.

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thegameison

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
Sawyer_Tom
Sawyer_Tom

Joined: 22 March 2012
Posts: 3573

Posted: 15 July 2013 at 9:49am | IP Logged
Chapter 8

There is nothing more soothing and normal in this world than watching two of your friends bickering their asses off. And more often than not, the subject of their bickering consists of the most insignificant of things. It is quite liberating, if you ask me.

I must say, Sharon has a lot of self control. If someone had woken me up at 3 in d friggin morning, I would have them beheaded. No matter how much I loved them. Even half naked, Sharon doesn't disappoint. She's as quick to retort as ever, blissfully nonchalant about Swayum's early morning excitement. She understands Swayum and he is trying to return the favor. That in itself is quite a beautiful thing.

The idea of anyone looking like a roasted chicken is so ludicrous, I'm not ashamed of admitting that I laughed my arse off at that. 

And once again, I love the way you end your chapters. 

Love,
En.

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thegameison

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
Sawyer_Tom
Sawyer_Tom

Joined: 22 March 2012
Posts: 3573

Posted: 15 July 2013 at 10:11am | IP Logged
Chapter 9

Right. So all this talk about milkshakes has me craving for one. For some reason, in the last part of the chapter I was more engrossed in the milkshake than I have any right to be. Bottom line, I want a milkshake.

Okay, enough about milkshakes. Let's talk Chinese food.

How?!? Just how can one not like Chinese!? I refuse to understand that. There can be no excuse. Chinese food is bloody awesome. Nuff said.

Moving on to the actual chapter, this one is all about going through the five stages of grief starting from denial and arriving at acceptance. Okay, I don't know what the middle stages are. I keep forgetting them. Anywho, Swayum looks like he is almost at the last one, though not quite there. His wife still haunts him and will haunt him for the remainder of his life. For those who are dead never truly leave us but stay with us - in here. Here being the heart. Harry Potter quotes. You gotta love 'em!

I digress.

Above anything else, Sharon is just trying to be a good enough friend to the man she is in love with. That requires considerable effort considering the aforementioned man is still in love with his dead wife. One can't get over that or race past it. Only accepting it will help. 

One more, dude.

Love,
En.


Edited by Sawyer_Tom - 15 July 2013 at 11:40pm

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thegameison

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
Sawyer_Tom
Sawyer_Tom

Joined: 22 March 2012
Posts: 3573

Posted: 16 July 2013 at 12:08am | IP Logged
Chapter 10

Okaaay whaaat?!?

I did NOT see that coming. I must be losing my touch. Huh.

Swayam losing himself in monotonous work to escape all the things he needs to reflect on is something I feel everybody can connect to. How many times have we tried to lose ourselves in routine just to escape the tedious thoughts of our mind? It's very commonplace, though whether it's healthy or not I can't really tell.

Swayum has some real issues with his father. I won't say he needs to sort them out. Let's just leave it at that.

As for Sharon, she does seem to do what she likes. That girls rocks! 

I love the way you brought up the whole 'I'm in love with you' part. The fact that you didn't actually mention it, is what makes the scene so great. Sharon didn't really say those words but then again actions speak louder than words. Swayum picks it up, ever so promptly. It's her pain that clues him in on that fact and not something cheesy like her staring at him like a lovestruck puppy. But then again, when have you ever been comfortable with cheesy? She tries to search for some reciprocation but her disappointment at not finding any gives him conviction. He is sorry. So very sorry. But he can't help matters much. I personally feel the kiss was more physical on his side than emotional. And he doesn't want that. Least of all with Sharon. He wants it to mean something. Sharon is sure but Swayum is confused. I think we are going to see some rather interesting conflicts up ahead.

I can't wait three months even if Swayum can. So you have my permission to update woman. Go on, do it. 

And oh this time, leave me a message on facebook before you do. I'd like to reserve a nice little spot. 

Love,
En.

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thegameison

anushka1129 Senior Member
anushka1129
anushka1129

Joined: 12 May 2013
Posts: 694

Posted: 16 July 2013 at 4:14am | IP Logged
awsome update asusalBig smile
omg swaron kiss..
but still it doesnot affect anythingBig smile
thanks for the pm ..
update soon..

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thegameison

SanskritiS IF-Rockerz
SanskritiS
SanskritiS

Joined: 21 April 2012
Posts: 8391

Posted: 16 July 2013 at 5:09am | IP Logged
Nice update Smile

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