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SwaRon FF: Smithereens | the final chapter: PG 68 | 10 Nov'14 (Page 16)

prateek.007 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 06 February 2012
Posts: 8238

Posted: 03 July 2013 at 9:21am | IP Logged

Living the dream,is a golden epic story for me.Which is unforgetable...So coming on to update,its beautifull and well descriptive part..Swayam got a job and busy with his life..Then he concerned,he thought about sharon to meet her.With the help of his wifes diary, he went to her place..SwaRon convo was great..Loved the joy and excitement of sharon even she was not well..Grave visit was like brilliant part for me. The way u played with the emotion of swayam is wondefull..he lost his wife and ruined his life.Actually he is devastated..Beautifully and rightly expressed the sorrow of swayam as well as sharon..

Ending of update was quite amazing with Gay car..Great work
I just appreciate u'r brilliant command on english language..I am not good at all,so i used online dictionary for some words..Though i gain some new english words just becoz of u'r update..Thanx

Thanx for PM


Edited by prateekdave7 - 04 July 2013 at 4:39am

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thegameison IF-Sizzlerz

Jedi of CC
Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 22520

Posted: 03 July 2013 at 10:18am | IP Logged

Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Approve

Thank you so very much for that pleasant response. And I'm extremely sorry if I come across as a psychotic teenager who could ditch you at any given point in the middle of the story. Sometimes, it's quite true. But not always, I daresay. LOL Right now, all of us are safe and I'd be really very pleased if you guys maintain the consistency in reading that I do in updating.  Embarrassed What else, yeah, about this chapter – it's the last chapter from Swayum's point of view. The next chapters would be from Sharon's point of view. ( :

Chapter Four

I await the lovely comments. 

Chapter Five

"People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right." – J.K. Rowling


Swayum had the same parents his entire life. He was their flesh and blood. Sometimes, he was his mother's kin in matters of discretion and countenance. But he was as different from his father as rain is from draught and pleasant spring is from summer set in for the sole purpose of burning people from skin to bone. Sadly his mother was dead and his father, hale and hearty. She had died a much better death than Rhea, though. She went to sleep one night six years ago and never woke up. And while Swayum did not wish his father were dead or died as soon as he could manage, he just didn't wish to see him. But he had to that morning when his father showed up at his door with a large suitcase and a crate of beer bottles.

"Son," he curtly nodded in Swayum's direction.

"Papa," Swayum imitated his father's way of greeting.

"I need somewhere to put these," he held up the beer crate so Swayum could see it better.

"We normally use the fridge for that purpose." Swayum barked as he averted his eye's from his father.

His old man snorted and walked into the house. Swayum could not explain the sudden appearance of his father. Swayum's third cousins' fourth cousins had also phoned him in condolences regarding Rhea. But his father had not tried to contact him. Rhea's parents had told him on the phone one day that he had gone to see them, though. They had said he, Swayum's father expressed deep grief and displayed firm support. Swayum had to fight back an urgency to laugh derisively. Mr. Shikhawat always saw to it that the world that was outside the confines of his immediate household saw him as a charming and sensible man. He kept the very best of him for his sons and wife. He was a temperamental and condescending man who only understood one entity fully in the world – himself, his requirements, his insecurities, his reputation etc.

Reyansh, Swayum's elder brother ran away from home when Swayum was still in college. He never returned, not even to cremate their mother. Swayum couldn't blame him. Out of the two sons Mr. Shikhawat had, one could give him credit for going soft on his younger son. He wasn't a physically violent father. But he had always been vicious in his words and moody in his treatment of his sons.

"Is that car yours?" his father sneered, standing by the window now.

Swayum stopped reminiscing but did not bother to reply. He got dressed and told his father not to expect him until after midnight to which his father obliged him by saying that only housewives wait on their spawn. Swayum left without uttering another word and slammed the door behind him.


Sharon called up while Swayum was driving back into town. He'd left office only about twenty-five minutes ago. It was nine or ten minutes to ten. The weather was dusty and windy, not suitable for an outing by all means. Why had then Sharon called? They had been to the clearing in the woods four times that month. They'd also visited Rhea's grave thrice, and the last time Swayum had successively spent ten exceptionally solitary minutes with his deceased wife.

"Hi," Sharon started her rapture. "Simmi called this evening. Our batch's reunion is in two months. And she'd be flying down to attend it. How cool is that?"

"Quite cool, who else is coming?" Swayum enthusiastically asked, parking his Ford Taurus at the corner of the road.

"I guess everybody's gonna show up." By everybody she referred to their friends from the college dance team.

"Excellent," Swayum mimed her vivacious tone.

"What's up, punk? You sound stoned." she mock wheezed.

"I'm good." he said defensively.

"I know. Only you're trying to sound like you're freaking awesome!" she pressed, she was quite certain he was being artificial in his spirits.

"My father showed up this morning with his clothes and booze." Swayum said, shrugging as though she could see via the phone that it was no big deal.

Sharon laughed rather loudly in his ear and did not stop for the next five minutes.

"Sharon," he muttered into his cell phone.

"Swayum, you're . . . doomed!" she remarked, her speech interrupted by laughter-induced hiccups.

Swayum hung up but not before sighing loudly enough for her to consider it the appropriate reply to receiving the aforementioned intelligence as to his doom. He started his car and drove relentlessly. He heard his phone beep an hour later but decided the message could wait. He stopped at the gas station a few minutes later. That was when he learnt by means of his phone that Sharon was presently on her way to his apartment. He shook his head miserably only to realize two things in quick succession. One, Sharon could prove a tyrant harmless with her unshakable faith in the good. Two, Sharon could shut even his father up if she liked without so much as uttering half an offensive syllable. Swayum was looking forward for the entertainment to unleash.

He reached the door of his thin-walled apartment at five minutes to midnight. Two people were audible. Sharon's rich and cheerful voice could be heard distinctly. "Your son's a tough nut, Sir." she said. The propriety of eavesdropping did not include people's implementing it on their own houses. But Swayum for some reason decided to violate the code and listen from outside anyway. Now his father was saying, "He is. He ain't like my fairy princess for a son, Reyansh." Sharon was heard obligatorily laughing. "Sir, he's far from a fairy princess. I've been keeping his company for three months now. He's getting better. Besides, I'm feeling much better too these days." What Sharon had meant by feeling better herself Swayum could not unravel because he decided on impulse to break into the room, acting unaware of their discussion.

"Hello, there!" Sharon exclaimed and jumped up from the sofa. "Would you like a beer?" she asked.

He nodded a yes and went to sit next to her. They were both facing his grave-looking father now. Sharon explained in well-timed whispers to him that his father was a dozen beers down and would not remember anything in the morning. Swayum shrugged. That state of things was a regular in Swayum's childhood. He remembered profoundly some historic nights which he and his brother would call 'episodes' the next day. They slowly learnt to joke about them.

"Rhea was a good girl, you know, Sharon dear?" Mr. Shikhawat began out of nowhere.

"Yes, Sir, both Swayum and Rhea are old friends of mine." Swayum did not correct Sharon's tense confusion. Sharon had not treated Rhea as dead once in the past three months. And she wouldn't like to be corrected, Swayum had an intuition.

"Oh, yes! Very well! She used to phone me even in her last days, asking if I was keeping well." Mr. Shikhawat fondly said, emphasizing on 'I'.

"That's very Rhea of her, Sir." Sharon said smilingly and Swayum took large gulps of his beer.

"She had asked me to tell Swayum, well, things. She'd also asked me to go stay with them. I did not see how my boy could handle two sick people under his roof." His tone was still filled with fondness.

"You are sick?" Swayum asked, unable to suppress his shock.

"No, no. But you and goodie-two-shoes thought I was a sick swine, didn't you?" Mr. Shikhawat asked, as not drunkenly as was possible after drinking twelve bottles of beer.

"Always," said Swayum angrily.

"There, son!" he said as though he had proved a point. "You and I had angels for wives. I deserved to lose mine, though." he thoughtfully added, laughing.

"How can you laugh at my Mom's death?" Swayum shouted.

Sharon was witnessing the commotion with fascinated gaiety. She almost treated it like an exciting basketball match. Swayum ignored her and stared violently at his father.

"I am not laughing at your Mom's death." his father said. Swayum did not stop staring at him. And hence his father was to do the needful of yet speaking some more.

"Rhea wanted me to come and stay with you. So, I did, son." he said.

"Three months after she died? Humph, you couldn't even call me, Dad!" Swayum yelled.

"I wanted to punish you for leaving town and your brother, for leaving the country, never coming back. I couldn't tell your dying wife that, though." he was suddenly fierce now.

"We did the right thing in leaving your wretched house, Father!" Swayum stood up, the bottle of beer fell out of his hand. Sharon caught it and carefully placed it on the table. She stood up too, standing close behind Swayum.

"You ARE a swine. You wanted to punish us for wanting to go away from the insults you shoved into our faces! Calling us faggots and declining birthday presents we got you was NOT funny! Telling us to stop being such girls was NOT funny! It was hell, two times as harsh living with a miserable douche like you! Insecure of your wife's success! Unhappy with your son's aspirations! You were ALWAYS unhappy, Dad. And you wanted us to be miserable too! I'm sorry we lost Mom, but I'm glad she could escape you without being subjected to plots of being frigging PUNISHED by you-" Swayum did not look nearly done yet but his father had passed out on the couch.

Sharon took to rubbing his back. His rigidness however indicated that he did not like it. He actually did but he was too infuriated to appreciate her presence. She fetched him some water and ordered him to walk her to her car after he calmed down. Swayum walked silently behind her as she hummed 'Hey Jude' by The Beatles and waved both hands singing 'na na na'.

"You are demented, Sharon." he told her and started laughing.

"The song's a classic." She justified herself, shaking her head, clearly listening the song in her head, savoring it.

He only smiled at her as she resumed singing and he had forgotten by now her cryptic statement of 'feeling better'. It was still there in his head but it was not a pressing matter just yet. Sharon had been a good friend to him and it felt rather selfish that he did not wish to delve into her alleged problems. But somehow, he decided not to talk about it, pushing guilt etc aside. He was in no mood to speak. It was very enjoyable sometimes, just watching Sharon. It was therapeutic. She could shower anybody with bursts of goodwill, her disposition was that cheerful. If she were sad inside though, then she was a fraud. But tonight was a bad time to discover deceit in your closest friend.

"Your father loves you, Swayum. But he's got an ego the size of an elephant." Sharon said to him, switching on the stereo of her car and leaving the door open.

"Right," said he.

"He's angry because he was left alone, man. It's obvious!" Sharon sagaciously said.

"Right," said he.

"Mark my words, he cannot forgive you and your brother for showing him what a douchebag he is. Pardon my language." she added, casually placing her hand on his shoulder.

"Right," said he.

He briefly hugged her and went upstairs.




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SanskritiS IF-Rockerz

Joined: 21 April 2012
Posts: 8391

Posted: 03 July 2013 at 10:30am | IP Logged
Awesome update Smile
Loved the way u portrayed the things b/w Swayam n his dad 

Edited by sanstina - 03 July 2013 at 10:59am

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prateek.007 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 06 February 2012
Posts: 8238

Posted: 03 July 2013 at 10:49am | IP Logged

I like the story plot here in this update..It was great to read about swayam's background..His father is such a weird personality for me..And reyansh is the elder brother of swayam..A good twist in story..I love all the situations behind swayam's family..That was really interesting..

Loved the way u bring a father and a son convo with including their past loosed and incomplete ends..Looks like swayam father was careless to retain his family..But i think he is also pained somewhere..But swayam frustration is also right..And u described that so so well..

Now,just like all updates,Again i loved sharon here..Love the way she cheered him up..Console him...Actually a saviour for him..And loved the statements of characters in this update..Specially i liked sharon's dialouges..

So the update was great..And i am very interested to read further..So moving on to chapter 6..

Thanx for PM


Edited by prateekdave7 - 05 July 2013 at 9:35am

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paro1311 Senior Member

Joined: 17 September 2012
Posts: 704

Posted: 03 July 2013 at 10:58am | IP Logged
Like the sub plots u r bringing in here.. dont know if thrs more to it but thrs a elder brother a douchebag of a dad nd sharon's "feeling better".
Loving the demented sharon more with every chapter.. nd excited for the next one cos its her side of the story :)

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Anonymous-- IF-Dazzler

Joined: 27 June 2012
Posts: 3462

Posted: 03 July 2013 at 11:13am | IP Logged
Hey both updates were awesome. Just checked the PMs and read the updates together. Rey is Swayam's brother. WOW Swayam's family is really crazy. His father seems totally like those scary Gumrah type dadsLOLI liked how Sharon cheered him up. The line you write for Sharon are really funny. And they way Swayam's frustration came outShocked I'm glad we'll be getting Sharon's side of the story nowSmileThanks for PMing me. I would have written longer but I'm not in the right state of mind right now

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VickyLover Newbie

Joined: 13 May 2013
Posts: 41

Posted: 03 July 2013 at 11:29am | IP Logged
Such an intense chapter...
But ws cute towrds the end...
Swayam is already comfortable with sharon and knows tht he needs her,
She undrstands him and makes him feel bettr and is basicaaly perfect fr him...i bet soon they will b togethr...they jus to realise and accept it...
thnkxx fr the pm me fr the next chap too
early waitin fr it to b postd...
loved your writin Big smile

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nature2 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 20 April 2011
Posts: 25832

Posted: 03 July 2013 at 11:29am | IP Logged

Awos m

love it ClapClap

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