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SwaRon FF: Smithereens | the final chapter: PG 68 | 10 Nov'14 (Page 13)

reflections. Goldie
reflections.
reflections.

Joined: 27 October 2012
Posts: 1659

Posted: 01 July 2013 at 4:57am | IP Logged
Great chapter. Found it quite interesting. Eagerly waiting for the next chapter. Big smile
-Aishu

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thegameison

agirlhasnoname. IF-Stunnerz
agirlhasnoname.
agirlhasnoname.

Joined: 04 December 2010
Posts: 25742

Posted: 01 July 2013 at 6:33am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Incandescence.

Reserved.

I am going for admission in a college today (:

So, I'll be reading it afterwards, just making sure I don't miss this. =]

Thanks for notifying me Dear (;

I'll be up with my comment soon.
____________

I am just wh**ed out right now, after standing in a long queue for about 2 hours.

And yes.. I finally red it whole.

Girl, you write so amazingly!

I so damn Loving Swayum in this fiction! And Sharon too. Both their characters are showed in such a blissful way.
And regarding the concept I'v already said, Imma loving this big time. =)

I just looking forward for more. (;

Superb Job Dear!

Simply Marvelous.



 

I dunno, how I quoted my own comment :P See this happens when you are slogging whole day out, and getting nothing! :/ -_______-
 



Edited by Incandescence. - 01 July 2013 at 6:34am

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thegameison

Sawyer_Tom IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 01 July 2013 at 10:31am | IP Logged
Reserved. Man, you're fast.

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thegameison

Anonymous-- IF-Dazzler
Anonymous--
Anonymous--

Joined: 27 June 2012
Posts: 3462

Posted: 01 July 2013 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
I loved this chapter! There is something about the way you write, you make things seems funny without actually making them funny. This was a compliment by the way. I hope it came across as one.Stern SmileAnyway I was actually chuckling while reading some bits which made my brother look at me like I was some crazy weirdo.DeadThe "Johnny johnny" part was really cute and I could imagine all this in my head. I really liked the way you described the woods. Lovely description, so vivid and colourful. A very light and fun chapter I would say. I would love to know about Sharon's past. She seems kinda mysterious. Waiting for the next update. Do update daily if you can :D Thanks for the PM!

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thegameison

anushka1129 Senior Member
anushka1129
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Joined: 12 May 2013
Posts: 694

Posted: 02 July 2013 at 1:48am | IP Logged
awesome chapter..
you writing style is quite different..n i loved it..
wanna know more about sharon..she seems mysterios..

thanks for da pm :)
update soon..

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thegameison

thegameison IF-Sizzlerz
thegameison
thegameison

Crazy Creative Minion
Joined: 01 July 2010
Posts: 22646

Posted: 02 July 2013 at 8:17am | IP Logged

Hello, all. Approve

I'm gratified with your response in the sense I see there's an interest developing in you regarding the story. That's the one thing I most primarily anticipated regarding this particular fiction because I have been writing it with more conviction than any of my other works, and thus I have also been working on its plot and characters which I never really took to doing before. 

Thank you for the response, I really appreciate your comments, and I do. Embarrassed

Chapter Three

The following chapter is longer and heavier than the last two. I have made use of two quotes; the one that I used during the chapter is a Harry Potter one. And I owe the idea of a chapter like this to LTD, again. Lastly, about Sharon, there are chapters from her point of view too that I have lined up for the story ahead. You've gotta endure the enigma about her a little longer and no, I don't think she has been in love with Swayum since college. LOL

PS I commence making daily updates from today. Approve

 

 "The marks humans leave are too often scars." 

- John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

 

Chapter Four

 

A considerably meaty post was vacant at a multinational company. It was two miles outside of town. On a rainy day the week that followed his appointment Swayum bought a 1990s Ford Taurus out of celebrative spirits and a need for personal conveyance. He had had work experience as the owner of a firm, though. Learning to be an employee after an employer is more ludicrous than having dessert before main course, Rhea would have said.


Reminiscing about the above mentioned, Swayum ate his toast that Sunday morning. Nearly a month and a half had passed after his wife's death. His grief had decided to lapse into a corner of his conscience. Salvation and recovery weren't coming, only order to a man's life which had been formerly smashed to smithereens. He had work to do on Sundays too now. He couldn't precisely find enough time to lament. Nobody but himself could appreciate his situation better in moments like those. The loss of his wife had damaged him inside out. He wasn't running away from acceptance anymore but he couldn't complain about not finding enough time to do anything besides work, drive, eat and excrete.


It had been a month since Swayum parked Sharon's '67 Chevy Camaro outside her nightclub. She was the most grounded heiress he'd known, the only one actually. But when she had not returned for a month he reckoned she could be condescending after all. Heiresses travel the world and their unemployed and borderline poor acquaintances search for jobs. Swayum had to admit that he only had to look for two weeks. Still he received Sharon's disappearance with disapproval even though she had not told him when she would return. But her luggage had suggested she wouldn't be gone for more than a couple of days.


His not-work-related thoughts were cloudy.  The clouds that his thoughts were, were more like the clouds which appear after it has rained very heavily, not during. So, Swayum realized that he was in need of company. He wasn't fit to make any new friends. And he also figured that it would not kill to call her and enquire about her whereabouts, without sounding like a desperate loner, that is. When he'd done his work for the day he shut his laptop and placed it vertically in his bookshelf and pulled out Rhea's contact diary. Nobody maintained those anymore. But she had. And quite frankly it had always come at handy. He looked up Sharon's phone number and to his surprise, only found a landline number. On asking whoever picked it up, he came to know that Sharon had come back two days previously and was asleep in her room.


Below the phone number was carefully written in his wife's handsome hand Sharon's address. He spent a few minutes brushing his thumb on the paper where his wife had written. He briefly looked through the entire diary before gathering himself and shutting it. Inside his car in ten more minutes, he pulled through the driveway on his way to Sharon's, her car's keys in his pocket.


It was an hour long drive. It was impossible that Sharon had lived so close to Swayum and Rhea's penthouse. But he knew what it was like the past two years. Swayum wouldn't meet people, he had no use of Sharon's address. Rhea would press on him to meet people or at least keep in touch with old friends. But he wouldn't, old friends or otherwise. It was uncanny how apt his wife's wishes seemed now. He needed to see people. She was right, after all. Mostly she had been on all occasions, by the way.

A housemaid opened the door two minutes after Swayum rung the doorbell of Sharon's pretty massive house. It was a highly grey house, the doors and windows had a steely edge to them. Swayum had already spotted Sharon, though. The window of her room was extremely wide. He'd seen her sprawled on a bed in a yellowy light inside that wide windowed room when he had gotten out of his car. "I have come to see Sharon." he told her when she asked who he was. The housemaid let him in and directed him to her door. She knocked and peeped inside to ask Sharon if it was okay for Swayum to come inside. He entered her room seconds later.


"Swayum," Sharon exclaimed.


"Hey, how are you doing?" he asked, scratching his forehead awkwardly.


"Come now. Sit. How's my car?" she was smiling brightly at Swayum, not to forget widely. But she looked pale. She positively was or had been previously very sick.


"Nasty stomach flu," she explained, reading his expression.  "Did you get a job?" she asked enthusiastically.


"I did," he replied, simultaneously inspecting the interiors of her room.


"And bought a new car, I see." she looked out of her window and then at him. "Girlish, man!" she commented.


"The best I could get." he reasoned with her, partly agreeing.


"Fair enough," she laughed.


"You look like hell, though." He pointed after a few minutes of silence.


"I owe the said hellishness to not bathing for two days." she told him. "Tell you what – I'll wash and stuff. Then we hit the road?" she offered expectantly.


"Sure," Swayum smiled at her.


*


They were outside the cemetery an hour later. Sharon was wearing a black cardigan over a pale white shirt. She looked relatively less hellish now, Swayum remarked as they both made their way out of his Ford Taurus. Sharon made a mocking face first at the car and then at him. Swayum nudged her arm in urgency. He couldn't figure the source of his alarmingly high anxiety but Sharon shut up almost instantly as though she understood it better.


"When did you visit her last?" Sharon solemnly whispered.


"The day I buried her." He breathed.


Sharon meaningfully nodded at him and took his hand. Then she softly rubbed her other hand on it and smiled encouragingly at him. "Thanks for coming with me." he said as she left his hand.


"I needed to come, as it is." her lip quivered but her posture was straight, warm and dignified.


"Okay,"


Swayum had very tentatively proposed the idea that they could visit Rhea's grave after Sharon had washed up. She was more than willing to accompany him. Visiting the cemetery in the dead of night was not one of Swayum's proclivities. And requesting somebody who was in grave need of fresh air to accompany him was sound, neither on his part nor on the part of them who so readily came along.


Sharon pushed open the iron gates of the cemetery and entered it before Swayum did. He unsurely followed her and she slightly leaned toward him. He was quite grateful to her for exhibiting without an ounce of sympathy, sheer will to chaperone. It wasn't sympathy he yearned, he detested it. He was denied any support though, the one thing both his late wife and his conscience knew he'd need, as had both feared he wouldn't get any.


Sharon's breathing was fast, he could hear it. Everything she could set eyes on seemed to dampen her generally high spirits. However, there was nothing eerie about the dead to Swayum. His own wife's death had fostered an understanding between him and both the dead and those who'd lost them. Swayum was aggrieved because of his loss, on Rhea's part he was nothing but gratified. Her sufferings in the form of medication, clinical trials, chemo and radiation were ceaseless. She was a very strong woman but Swayum knew she was being destroyed, organ by organ. She had no will to live or fears regarding death. She just wished to survive for him and her parents.


"We're there, Swayum," Sharon softly informed, her eyes averted from him, on the sleek granite headstone of Rhea's grave. Sharon's one hand was rubbing his back now, the other clutched tightly enough that her claw-like fingernails dug into her palm. She grimaced a little and her breathing slowed down. She took deep breaths and regained her composure. Then she looked right into his eyes and stopped rubbing his back. She backed a few steps away as Swayum went to stand in front of his wife's grave. She was now holding both her hands in her lap. For Swayum, the task of turning his eyes in the direction of the grave was an arduous one. He was breathing rapidly now, sweating. But he beckoned toward Sharon to come and stand next to him. He would have to face Rhea alone sometime, but he couldn't do it tonight. Sharon seemed to understand it and paced toward him immediately but kept her distance this time. She was bent on providing him a solitary minute in the presence of his dead wife. But he couldn't. He grasped Sharon's hand and she squeezed it encouragingly, warmly.


Sharon read the epitaph engraved on the tombstone. She reread for him loudly as though he didn't know what it said.


"It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."


She cried in Rhea's honor but a lone tear and left Swayum's hand. She turned to face him and didn't say anything as he continued to gaze at his wife's grave. He could feel Rhea, so he started calming down. He was glad he had not broken down. It would have taken him back to where he had started. It would have introduced a fresh episode of devastation into his life. Another thing he could feel was Sharon's piercing eyes. She was imploring him to look at her.


"You were married to a fearless dame, man." she informed him, her cheek stained by that one tear.


"I was," he agreed.


"What's that leave you?" she demanded, no traces of urgency in her tone.


"Very many scars, Sharon; I used to suffer along with her. I'm happy her suffering is over, though." he said stoically.


"But you're still hurting." she said what he had omitted.


"Exactly,"


"We begin acknowledging scars instantly because they're so acutely prominent. The thing about them is though that they appear after we're hurt, not during. The scars are reminders of pain and not the sources. They in fact indicate that the wound has healed and left behind a tiny souvenir. " she asserted, and added shortly, "I'll be by that gay car of yours. You stay with her a moment." 





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surbhimathur IF-Rockerz
surbhimathur
surbhimathur

Joined: 16 December 2011
Posts: 6082

Posted: 02 July 2013 at 8:32am | IP Logged
*Un-reserved*

I really like how each chapter endures us to read further.
You always put something substantial Approve
Swayam's emotions were rightly put, he is devastated.
And he took initiative to call sharon and then they went to the grave. 
I liked the description of the vicinity and the state of mind's of sharon n swayam, how he grasped her hand n the little humour towards the end, gay car! That is how sharon is in your writeup nd i like that. 
I liked how the quote got related to swayam n sharon's conversation in the end.
I really liked the quote!

 "The marks humans leave are too often scars." 

- John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

It has a very nice meaning attached to it.
On the other hand i am very curious about swayam and sharon's story too, like couplish! Embarrassed
keep updating
 Smile

Edited by surbhimathur - 02 July 2013 at 12:52pm

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thegameison

paro1311 Senior Member
paro1311
paro1311

Joined: 17 September 2012
Posts: 704

Posted: 02 July 2013 at 8:53am | IP Logged
another very appreciable quality of ur writings is this really clear & vivid visuals u create:) i swa the sunrise too and it was a beauty.. thanx for dragging us to the wilderness with those 2.

and today's update was at another level totally! certain tiny details u included in this update  like
 He spent a few minutes brushing his thumb on the paper where his wife had written. He briefly looked through the entire diary before gathering himself and shutting it 
not sure y but i really loved such small nd very real moments in this chapter.

the graveyard part was by far the best in this FF. 
"The scars are reminders of pain and not the sources. They in fact indicate that the wound has healed and left behind a tiny souvenir. " 
very well put!



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